Stephen Colbert was off last week, when news broke that Matt Gaetz is being investigated by the Justice Department for violating federal sex trafficking laws, but don’t worry, there’s plenty of “Gaetzgate” creepiness to go around. “Gaetz has denied any wrongdoing, but sources say that just before the previous president left office, Gaetz asked for a blanket pardon. Oh, I don’t think the blanket wants a pardon. I think it wants to be burned — it’s seen too much,” Colbert joked during Wednesday’s The Late Show.
The Floria congressman, who wanted the Get Out of Jail Free card “for any illegal activity he’s ever done, like innocent people do,” often boasts about his relationship with Donald Trump. In his book (titled Firebrand: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the MAGA Revolution, because of course), Gaetz bragged about the places that the former-president has called him and he picked up, including on the toilet and in nightclubs.
“The president has called me everywhere,” Colbert added, “while I was lurking in the bushes of a high school, while I was making fake IDs, even while I was tutoring my girlfriend for the SATs.” Gaetz even claimed that Trump gave him a ring while he was “in the throes of passion.” With that horrible image in mind, the late-night host cracked, “Thinking about Matt Gaetz having sex, I’m in the throws of up.”
You can watch The Late Show clip above.