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Police Are Looking For A Man Who Reportedly ‘Aggressively Poked’ Mike Lindell, Although An Eyewitness Says It Was A ‘Nothing Burger’ Of An Attack

Mike Lindell told attendees of his blunder-filled cyber symposium last week that he was “attacked” by an unknown assailant.

“He put his arm around and stuck his finger, it was so much pressure, I just knew if I did anything something more was coming,” the MyPillow founder told the conservative blab-fest FlashPoint about the alleged incident at his Sioux Falls hotel. “He jammed it in where it was just piercing pain.” Lindell was “worried that Antifa — an umbrella term for militant anti-fascist groups — had somehow infiltrated the symposium,” according to Insider, but it “turned out to be a fan of Lindell who wanted a picture with the MyPillow CEO.” Like every Facebook user in the late-2000s, he was “aggressively poked”:

The incident took place over Mr Lindell’s multi-day event last week in South Dakota, where he vowed to present evidence showing that Mr Trump had indeed been the rightful victor of the 2020 election. That proof never came, and when asked about it, the CEO responded that his team had data that it did not want reporters to fact-check.

Also, a tangerine may have been involved.

Of course, as with all things relating to the pillow magnate/conspiracy theorist (there are literally dozens of them), it’s never that simple. Eyewitness Jeff Buongiorno believes that the incident is a “nothing burger.” He told the Associated Press that “the elevators are glass, and witnesses saw Lindell go up to the 6th floor. There was no attack.”

A police report was filed, however, so the authorities are asking for the public’s help in finding a man in a light blue shirt who is “suspected in committing an assault at a hotel near Russell St and West Ave last Wednesday night, Aug 11.”

“What are you doing time for?”
“Insurance fraud. You?”
“I’m serving life for murder. How about you?”
“I aggressively poked Mike Lindell with a tangerine.”

No one’s going to mess with him in prison.

(Via Insider and via the Independent)