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Michael Kosta Of ‘The Daily Show’ Is Not Happy That Amazon’s Astro Robot Can’t Do Sex Things

Earlier this week, Amazon introduced the world to Astro, its very first household robot, which the company described as “a new and different kind of robot” that “brings together new advancements in artificial intelligence, computer vision, sensor technology, and voice and edge computing in a package that’s designed to be helpful and convenient.” But if you’re hoping Astro will also suck your c*%#, well, The Daily Show correspondent Michael Kosta has got some bad news.

In his latest edition of “Konsumer Reports,” Kosta made it clear that the robot is super cool and can do all sorts of useful things. But it’s definitely not a sex robot, which Kosta understandably finds kind of annoying. Or, as he puts it: “It’s like an Alexa on wheels that you cannot have sex with.”

Which isn’t to say that Kosta wasn’t impressed with some of the cute little robot’s cutting-edge features, like its screen, which he describes as “reminiscent of the Amazon Echo Show 10. When we’re not using the screen to watch movies or make video calls, Astro has a cute little face, but no mouth. Which means oral is completely off the table.”

So what else can Astro do—or, more accurately, not do?

You can use it to surf the web, take pictures, [and] FaceTime grandma. But, if you were hoping to pork its charging hole, you gotta think again. Astro is battery-operated and conveniently takes itself to a charging dock when it’s low on battery. Clever little minx, isn’t it?

Arguably the coolest feature is Astro’s mobility. It’s equipped with three wheels which, hypothetically, could run over your penis, though I haven’t tried that yet.

Astro, no surprise, has artificial intelligence. It can tell you what the weather is and schedule appointments for you. But, like most AI on the market, it does struggle with more complex commands. For example, when I said, ‘Astro, tickle my balls,’ it didn’t know what I meant. And even worse, when I said ‘Astro, make me your toilet,’ it ordered me a bidet on Amazon. That’s disappointing.

Still, there’s always hope with that three-wheel thing. You can watch Kosta’s full review above.

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No One Wants To Dress Like Trump For Halloween Anymore, But Kim Kardashian Is Very Popular This Year

Yandy is the internet’s number one destination for Halloween concepts that might as well begin with the word “sexy.” There’s Field Goal Flirt, Sultry Swashbuckler, and Brainy Babe, which definitely isn’t Velma from Scooby Doo. Yandy also sells a ton of off-license, legally-distinct costumes, so instead of Harley Quinn, you have Daddy’s Lil Disaster. And who could forget everyone’s favorite Game of Thrones character, Sexy Mother of Dragons. A big seller in previous years was the (shudder) Donna T. Rumpshaker costume, inspired by former-president Donald Trump with a “sexy twist,” but it’s not flying off the shelves in 2021.

“The Trump-specific costumes aren’t popular any more at all,” Yandy’s director of brand marketing, Alicia Thompson, told the Guardian. “We had to discount the remaining inventory.” The website is also having trouble moving COVID-19-themed costumes. “You’re not going to see sexy COVID-19 costumes,” she said, hopefully without remorse.

On the flip side, Kim Kardashian’s Met Gala outfit is all the rage:

A costume that approximates to Kim Kardashian’s all-black fetish-istic Balenciaga outfit at the Met Gala is selling out. “The Mystery Gala Guest costume is flying off the shelves,” Thompson says. “[It] was just begging to be created, right? How could we not? There is no shortage of ways that fans and detractors alike can have some real fun with this one.”

Also popular: this men’s King of the Jungle costume that the Guardian thinks is being used to duplicate the QAnon Shaman’s look when he stormed the Capitol Building in January (“The costume is selling well, for sure, but I couldn’t speak to whether people are using it for that purpose,” Thompson said). That’s a huge stretch — it’s obviously a reference to Brendan Fraser in George of the Jungle.

Out: Trump. In: Fraser. Just the way it should be.

(Via the Guardian)

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Alex Jones Has Been Trounced In Two Lawsuits (By Default) For Spreading Lies And Conspiracy Theories About The Sandy Hook Shooting

The jig is up for Alex Jones. On Monday, in a rare legal move, Judge Maya Guerra Gamble issued default judgments in two of several lawsuits that have been filed against the incendiary Infowars founder by family members of victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, which left 26 people—including 20 children between the ages of six and seven years old—dead. For his part, Jones has repeatedly (and falsely) claimed that the 2012 tragedy was nothing more than a piece of performance art, calling the event a “false flag” hoax and describing the children as “crisis actors.”

As HuffPost reports, Jones was called out by Gamble after failing to produce discovery records, including company emails, in two of several ongoing suits against the man who has relished his reputation as America’s foremost conspiracy theorist. Though Jones has had several years to turn this information over, he has outright refused, which didn’t sit well with the judge. While Jones’ lawyer (the seventh one he’s worked with by the way) told the Austin-American Statesman that a default judgment against Jones would be “hugely excessive,” Gamble wasn’t hearing it, and didn’t see any other way, writing the following:

“[I]n considering whether lesser remedies would be effective, this Court has also considered Defendants’ general bad faith approach to litigation, Mr. Jones’ public threats, and Mr. Jones’ professed belief that these proceedings are ‘show trials.’”

The Daily Beast reported that Gamble also noted how, “An escalating series of judicial admonishments, monetary penalties, and non-dispositive sanctions have all been ineffective at deterring the abuse.” Though Jones has since decried his earlier public stance and said that he does believe the shootings were real, it was a case of too little too late. He’ll now be at the mercy of a jury, which will be convened and asked to determine how much he will need to pay.

Things must have seemed so much easier back in January for Jones, when he proudly took credit for inciting the riot on the Capitol.

(Via HuffPost)

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Here’s Everything New On Netflix This Week, Including ‘The Guilty’ And ‘Britney Vs Spears’

Crank up those furnaces in a few parts of the country, for fall’s kicking into gear for many of us, or at least some cooler temperatures. If you’re wisely staying home already (and even if you’re simply considering getting back into the practice), then Netflix has you covered this week with new TV selections. An A-lister thriller movie, a documentary about one of the biggest pop stars of all time, and a heartbreaking limited series are all ready to roll for the binging.

Among the many options? You’ll be able to settle in for an unpredictable ride with Jake Gyllenhaal, and go behind the curtain for Netflix’s version of the Britney Spears story. Some foreign thrillers await, too, along with a romcom and a project starring Margaret Qualley, who happens to be Andie MacDowell’s daughter, but you might also remember her as a breakout star of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. And a fresh crop of movies arrives on October 1, so get ready to rewatch The Karate Kid ahead of Cobra Kai Season 4 and Ghost ahead of Halloween. There’s too much here for you to possibly watch in one week, and that’s a fantastic dilemma to have.

Here’s everything else coming to (and leaving) the streaming platform this week.

The Guilty (Netflix film streaming 10/1)

Jake Gyllenhaal plays an 911 emergency dispatch operator who walks into a situation that he thinks he’s prepared for, but he has no idea… or does he? This movie’s a remake of a Danish film of the same name, and if you’re not familiar with that work (or perhaps even if you are), you aren’t ready for this. The story takes place during one morning; however, it’ll feel like an eternity for Jake’s character.

Britney Vs Spears (Netflix film streaming 8/29)

Every streaming service is in on the Britney game these days, and Netflix is taking a stab at what really happened during the long, sordid history of the infamous conservatorship. Not only will this documentary paint a tragic portrait of a young woman who became trapped in her fame and family, but there’s also a shocking timeline to be unraveled here while, in real life, the pop singer moves toward (hopeful) autonomy.

MAID (Netflix limited series streaming 10/1)

Margaret Qualley (Once Upon A Time In Hollywood) stars in this heartbreaking adaptation of Stephanie Land’s New York Times best-selling memoir, Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother’s Will to Survive. This will, clearly, be a difficult watch, but Qualley’s raw portrayal (of a woman who flees an abusive relationship to go through exceedingly difficult times to break the cycle for her daughter) yields a burgeoning star.

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Diana: The Musical (Netflix special streaming 10/1)

On the heels of even more The Crown Emmy wins (it’s almost cruel to other contenders at this point), here’s the streaming debut (which undoubtedly also finds inspiration in Hamilton success on Disney+) ahead of this production’s official Broadway debut to shine even more of a light on Princess Diana’s legacy. Unfortunately, the secrecy so far means that we can’t make promises on quality, but this is almost guaranteed to get a rise out of Piers Morgan, so that’s a virtue in its own right.

Attack of the Hollywood Clichés! (Netflix special streaming 8/30)

Rob Lowe brings his handsome to dig into the history and evolution of the most notorious clichés in Hollywood. Expect a plethora of guests to stop by, including Florence Pugh, along with screeners and critics and academics, all of whom deliver their takes on “meet-cutes” and “ladies running in stilettos.” Yes, there’s a “Wilhelm Scream” section, too.

Ada Twist, Scientist (Netflix series streaming 8/31)

Plop the kiddos in front of the TV to enjoy this pint-sized scientist in lead-character mode, who takes on the truth with the help of two very good friends. Together, they explore how science solves the biggest mysteries while they hope to improve the world for all of mankind.

The Chestnut Man (Netflix series streaming 8/30)

This Danish psychological-thriller series (from The Killing‘s creator) finds its roots in Nordic noir. The story follows police (within a Copenhagen suburb) who discover a brutal murder, which is accompanies by (bizarrely enough) a small figure rendered with chestnuts. That accessory leads to the possibility of a serial killer at hand, which all might be tied to a politician’s daughter’s fate.

No One Gets Out Alive (Netflix film streaming 8/30)

A young immigrant woman takes up residence in an American boarding house, which turns out to be a much more terrible deal than it seems. The low price arrives with disturbed tenants and nightmares for all and echoes from the basement, and soon enough, she realizes that the house is evil and a living nightmare, all where screams go unnoticed, including her own.

Sounds Like Love (Netflix film streaming 8/31)

This fluffy movie presents a fashion assistant who’s attempting to get over a devastating blow to the heart, all while the man in question keeps surfacing in her life, to screw things up while her best friends are going through similar ordeals. Can they all get their sh*t together? Let’s hope.

Here’s a full list of what’s been added in the last week:

Avail. 9/28
Ada Twist, Scientist
Attack of the Hollywood Clichés!

Avail. 9/29
The Chestnut Man
Friendzone
MeatEater
: Season 10 Part 1
No One Gets Out Alive
Polly Pocket
: Season 3 Part 1
Sounds Like Love

Avail. 9/30
Love 101: Season 2
Luna Park
The Phantom

Avail. 10/1
A Sinister Sect: Colonia Dignidad
Diana: The Musical
Forever Rich
The Guilty
MAID
Paik’s Spirit
Scaredy Cats
The Seven Deadly Sins: Cursed by Light
Swallow
A Knight’s Tale
An Inconvenient Truth
Are You Afraid of the Dark?
: Season 1
As Good as It Gets
Awakenings
B.A.P.S.
Bad Teacher
The Cave
Desperado
The Devil Inside
Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
Double Team
The DUFF
Eagle Eye
Endless Love
Ghost
Gladiator
Hairspray
The Holiday
Jet Li’s Fearless
The Karate Kid
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Léon: The Professional
Malcolm X
Observe and Report
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Project X
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
Rumor Has It…
Seinfeld
: Seasons 1-9
Serendipity
Spy Kids
Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams
Spy Kids 3: Game Over
Step Brothers
The Ugly Truth
Till Death
Titanic
Tommy Boy
Unthinkable
Waterworld
Zodiac

Avail. 10/3
Scissor Seven: Season 3
Upcoming Summer

And here’s what’s leaving next week, so it’s your last chance:

Leaving 10/3
Angel Has Fallen

Leaving 10/6
Real Steel

Leaving 10/14
Cheech & Chong’s Still Smokin

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Bktherula Rages Into The Night With Matt Ox In Their Video For ‘Placement’

Bktherula is almost a year removed from her last full-length project, Nirvana. Luckily, for those who have taken a liking to the Atlanta native’s artistry, she has a brand new body of work on the way for her supporters. However, before fans can get their hands on it, Bktherula returns with “Placement,” her brand new track that arrives with a guest feature from Matt Ox and a new music video. In the visual, the duo hang out in a futuristic Chinatown filled with holograms, flying cars, and flashing lights.

On October 22, Bktherula will deliver her newest project, Love Black. Despite it being labeled as an EP, Love Black will arrive complete with 16 songs which gives fans plenty of music to enjoy from the Atlanta rager. The project will also feature her previously released single, “Santanny,” a track she delivered last spring in the form of a double single that was paired with “Blue.”

Furthermore, Bktherula is gearing up to hit the road as a supporting act for Lil Tecca’s upcoming tour. The Tecca Loves You Tour kicks off February 22, 2022 in Boston, Massachusetts, and continues until April 5, 2022 where it comes to an end in New York.

You can press play on the video for “Placement” above.

Love Black is out 10/22 via Warner Records. Pre-order it here.

Bktherula is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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H.E.R. And Kane Brown Connect On Their ‘Blessed & Free’ Collaboration

H.E.R. and Kane Brown might technically come from different ends of the genre spectrum, but they connect perfectly on their new track “Blessed & Free.” Brown has had an incredible run in the country genre, which tends to be a very white-centric genre, while Brown is multiracial with Black and Cherokee heritage.

Recently, Brown’s been collaborating with a number of artists outside his genre, including blackbear on the track “Memory,” and now H.E.R. As for the “Best Part” singer, this year’s new album Back Of My Mind has already been racking up accolades of its own, earning her the support of Amazon Prime and building off the reputation she’s already built for herself based off her past projects, H.E.R. and I Used To Know Her.

For “Blessed & Free,” which shares a name with Brown’s tour, both artists managed to split the difference between their respective sounds, with plenty of funk, groove, R&B and a dash of country thrown in. For the black and white video that accompanies the track they worked with ACM and CMT Music Award winner Alex Alvga. Check out the video up top, and for more behind-the-scenes on shooting the visuals check out their discussion of it right here.

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Phoebe Bridgers Released A Studio Version Of Her Bo Burnham Cover ‘That Funny Feeling’

Phoebe Bridgers is currently on her sold out tour, but in true Phoebe form still has something new for fans. Along the way during her stops she’s been performing Bo Burnham’s “That Funny Feeling” as a cover, and tonight she’s sharing a formally recorded version of the track. Her version was recorded in LA with Tony Berg, Ethan Gruska, Christian Lee Hutson, Harrison Whitford, Rob Moose, Sebastian Steinberg, Marshall Vore, Nate Walcott and Maria Taylor.

All the proceeds from the cover will be donated to Texas Abortion Funds, split evenly between Texas Equal Access Fund, The Bridge Collective, Clinic Access Support Network, West Fund, Jane’s Due Process, Fund Texas Choice, Support Your Sistah at the Afiya Center, the Lilith Fund, Frontera Fund, and Whole Woman’s Health Alliance, Inc.

Phoebe said the following about the cover in a press release: “This one’s for Greg Abbott.” The song is available for purchase right here. For this 2021 tour, Phoebe scheduled all of her shows at outdoor venues and required proof of COVID-19 vaccination or proof of a negative test for the virus within 48 hours of the show. She also requested that fans wear a mask while attending her shows. Check out the new song below.

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Meek Mill Celebrates His ‘Expensive Pain’ Album With Videos For ‘On My Soul’ And ‘Intro (Hate On Me)’

For the better part of the last three years, fans of Meek Mill have patiently waited for a new album from the rapper and thankfully, the Philly native delivered just that. Expensive Pain is here for fans to enjoy, and along with the new batch of songs, Meek came through with two new videos for tracks off the album. The first is for “On My Soul,” a song laced with the rapper’s autotuned vocals that delivering brief stories about life’s hardships with the promise that these anecdotes are nothing but the truth.

The visual captures Meek in his natural state as he posts up in the studio and enjoys a ride around the city on dirtbikes and ATVs. A number of notable faces like Jay-Z, Swizz Beatz, Bobby Shmurda, Lil Uzi Vert, EST Gee, and more also appear in the video. A short time later, Meek returned with a second visual, this time for the album’s opening track, “Intro (Hate On Me).” This video is similarly shot as it captures Meek outside with his crew, but the song’s content provides a different atmosphere for it. Contrary to the introspection the rapper displays with “On My Soul,” Meek opts for a flashy and boastful tone on “Intro (Hate On Me),” which makes for an ideal introduction track for the rapper’s new album.

Expensive Pain comes complete with 18 tracks and guest appearances from Lil Baby, Lil Durk, Kehlani, ASAP Ferg, Moneybagg Yo, Giggs, Young Thug, Vory, Lil Uzi Vert, and Brent Faiyaz.

You can watch both videos above.

Expensive Pain is out now video Maybach Music Group/Atlantic Records. Get it here.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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Tems Made Her Late Night Debut With A Performance Of ‘Avoid Things’ On ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

After a massive feature on WizKid’s near-perfect “Essence” from his album Made In Lagos, Nigerian singer Tems is coming into her own. A remix of that song, which many considered to be a song of the summer in 2020, featured none other than Justin Bieber. Whenever an artist gets a co-sign like that, it definitely helps the rest of the world notice them.

The Lagos-born musician was also featured on Drake’s Certified Lover Boy for the track “Fountains” and was recently featured as one Apple’s Up Next artists. Needless to say she’s on a bit of a roll, and part of her tear of breakout moves includes an appearance on late night.

She performed “Avoid Things” on Jimmy Kimmel Live, a song off her new EP If Orange Was A Place, which came out just a few weeks ago. “I am excited for everything the future holds,” she said recently in a press release. “My team and I have been working really hard over the years, now we’re in a new season and on a higher level and things can only get better as we reach more people all over the world.”

Check out her late night appearance above and expect to see a lot more from this artist in the future.

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Bartees Strange’s ‘Free Kelly Rowland’ Features Armand Hammer As Part Of His Deluxe ‘Live Forever’

Bartees Strange was one of the biggest breakout stars of 2020, and now the indie rocker is gearing up to celebrate the one-year anniversary of his album, Live Forever. Like plenty of artists last year, Strange had to deal with the strange (heh) impact of the pandemic and quarantine restrictions on his touring and performing schedule. Since his album came out, he’s played a number of festivals, and toured with the likes of Courtney Barnett and Lucy Dacus. Aside from all those live appearances, including an at-home Tiny Desk concert for NPR, Strange has also been releasing new music.

He shared the single “Weights” as part of the lead up to his new deluxe version of Live Forever, and tonight he’s released a new version of the record’s track “Kelly Rowland” — and this new one is called “Free Kelly Rowland” and includes a feature from the hip-hop duo Armand Hammer. Check it out below:

If you’re interested in hearing even more new music from Bartees, then you should also check out his cover of TV On The Radio’s “Province,” a collaborative cover along with Eric Slick and Ohmme. That’s up at the very top of this post if it’s of interest.