It was, as with any time in which Donald Trump and/or his minions still loom large over the culture, a busy week. Steve Bannon was indicted. Kyle Rittenhouse launched into a perhaps unconvincing crying jag on the stand. Taylor Swift performed on SNL. And the hosts of Weekend Update was there to talk about all of it.
On Friday, Bannon — the on-again-off-again Trump adviser with the wackadoodle podcast who ignored congressional subpoenas requesting testimony and documents related to the Jan. 6 Capitol siege — was actually held in contempt of Congress. SNL used that famed photo of him looking like total crap, which co-anchor Colin Jost described as looking like it was taken “moments after shooting out of a sewage pipe.” He also made sure to use his full name: Stephen K. Bannon, “the K stands for KKK.” If convicted, Bannon could receive a two-year jail sentence, “which from the looks of him might be a life sentence.”
Then there’s Rittenhouse, the 18-year-old who last summer crossed state lines armed with an illegally obtained AR-15 and shot three protesters, killing two. In the second week of his trial, he took the stand, and prompted to cry, albeit without what looked like actual tears. But Michael Che was among the many who didn’t buy it.
“Man, is there a white tears law school that I don’t know about,” he joked. “I noticed that every time y’all get in trouble, you start crying, and everything just works out for you, whether you’re trying to beat a murder charge of trying to be a supreme court justice.” The latter prompted a cut to a picture of Brett Kavanaugh, who did just that after being accused of sexual misconduct, also as a teen.
The two anchors also had words for the night’s musical guest, Taylor Swift, who launched into a 10-minute rendition of “All Too Well.” It’s been widely assumed that the song is about Jake Gyllenhaal, whom she briefly dated all the way back in 2010.
“I think the lesson we all learned this week is: Never break up with Taylor Swift,” Jost joked. “Or she will sing about your for 10 minutes on national television.” He added, “At the very least, return the scarf.”
You can watch Weekend Update in the videos above as well as below.