Hard to believe it’s been a week since Ted Cruz launched a sustained attack on a fictional 8-foot bird. Last weekend, the Texas senator got big mad at Big Bird, all because the character dared to tell kids to get vaxxed. (Oh, for the days when Republicans were trying to save Mr. Potato Head.) There was no way SNL wouldn’t mock him, and they made sure to give him prime real estate in a jam-packed cold open.
The sketch finds Aidy Bryant as the badly bearded politician, appearing on “Newsmax for Kids” in a far right version of Sesame Street. (The announcer tells kids to stand by at 1 for “White Power Rangers.”) We then get to visit “Cruz Street,” a “gated community” and a show with twists on characters who’ve long taught kids nice things, as well as special guests.
“For 50 years I stood by as Sesame Street taught our children dangerous ideas, like numbers and kindness,” Bryant’s Cruz says. “But when Big Bird told them to get vaccinated against a deadly disease, I said enough.”
Cecily Strong’s Marjorie Taylor Greene — who made news over the last week with approximately 10,000 deranged news items — swung by. “I’m just taking a break from releasing the phone numbers of Republicans who voted for the infrastructure bill so they and their families get death threats,” she said.
Strong’s Greene also reveals the letter for the day: Q. “Not the letter, the man,” her Greene told the kids. “He will tell us when JFK Jr., who is alive, will reveal himself and help President Trump reclaim his rightful throne.”
Kyle Mooney shows up as a sickly Bird Bird, made ill by the vaccine. “My feathers fell out, my nuts got huge, and my doink don’t work,” he says.
There’s a lot more where that came from. Joe Rogan (Pete Davidson) pays a visit to hawk horse medicine. There’s Bert and Ernie, as Proud Boys who are definitely hooking up. There’s Oscar the Slouch (“He’s been trained by the Democrats to suck off the teat of the government”). Even the newly freed Britney Spears swings by. And we get an idea of how twisted Sesame Street would be if it were in the wrong hands.
You can watch the sketch in the video above.