It’s been only a few weeks since Elon Musk purchased a platform where lots of people make fun of him, and it’s not been going great. Bigoted slurs went up instantly. Advertisers are fleeing. There are fears it could go down any minute. Not even the former president who was booted from Twitter wants anything to do with it (though maybe for a pragmatic reason). What is Musk doing to save face (and his investors’ money)? Tweeting through it. Sometimes he even uses it to float wacky ideas that don’t seem prudent or even achievable. On Friday, he had another of his brilliant half-baked ideas.
Last week, Musk vowed to reinstate a mess of banned accounts, long as they don’t break the law. That could mean Twitter would be once again flooded with trolls, death threats, and other unsavory characters. It could also mean places like Google and Apple will ban it from their stores. But don’t worry, because if that happens, Musk has a Plan B.
I certainly hope it does not come to that, but, yes, if there is no other choice, I will make an alternative phone
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) November 25, 2022
As per Mediaite, right-wing podcaster Liz Wheeler advised Musk to simply “produce his own smartphone.” She claimed that half the country “would happily ditch the biased, snooping iPhone & Android.” After all, Musk, she claims, “ builds rockets to Mars, a silly little smartphone should be easy, right?”
Musk thought Wheeler was onto something. “I certainly hope it does not come to that,” Musk he wrote in a reply, “but, yes, if there is no other choice, I will make an alternative phone.”
The idea was warmly appreciated by Musk’s army of weird sycophants. Others, though, were less stoked. In fact, many made the same joke about Musk’s history of cars that catch fire and rockets that blow up on takeoff.
My favorite feature of an Elon smartphone would be them randomly catching fire.
— Fuck You I Quit (@fuckyouiquit) November 26, 2022
In order to prop up the failing company I just bought, I will sadly be forced to create a smartphone that melts at room temperature https://t.co/ghuICJOZIG
— Paul Blest (@pblest) November 26, 2022
Using Elon Musk’s alternative smartphone to buy some coffee in Costa like pic.twitter.com/1EL0MQxYNh
— Pabst Blue Musk (@owwmypeepeehurt) November 26, 2022
Elon Musk’s new smartphone. pic.twitter.com/ud6mWcueLx
— Mark Bartlam (@MarkBartlam) November 26, 2022
Let’s not lose sight of the hilarity here before Elon’s reply:
1. The idea he could easily overtake market share of the two most popular phones in history
2. The idea Elon himself builds the rockets
3. The idea that building a rocket is at all applicable to building a smartphone pic.twitter.com/3OoFLqr5TP— mitch cumstein (real) (@mustachetoilet) November 26, 2022
After one call: https://t.co/LRTMqmsieT pic.twitter.com/iCrJUEQmb1
— David Rose (@happydragondave) November 26, 2022
POV: you tried to call your grandmother off the new Elon phone https://t.co/lj7FvnDML8 pic.twitter.com/1a1VKNVBLj
— noctis. (@itsNXCTIS) November 26, 2022
Phones exploding in millions of Maga Chud’s pants in 2024. https://t.co/ig1T7pWx8g
— Rob Israel (@robisraelart) November 26, 2022
All his rockets blow up on take-off. His cars catch fire. What kind of hell would his phones put us through? https://t.co/liTXERElFI
— Queen Elizabeth Ruler of the Isles of Zorn (@FaerieWhings) November 26, 2022
Some pointed out that it’s not entirely likely that Musk would follow through on an idea someone gave him on Twitter.
My thought on Elon threatening to make his own smartphone if Apple bans him is the following.
First of all, the man has a Loooooooong track record of dumb ideas and not following through. There’s no need to take it seriously. Any media reporting on this is being hacky. https://t.co/rZC5EYVVbe
— Brianna Wu (@BriannaWu) November 26, 2022
Let’s not lose sight of the hilarity here before Elon’s reply:
1. The idea he could easily overtake market share of the two most popular phones in history
2. The idea Elon himself builds the rockets
3. The idea that building a rocket is at all applicable to building a smartphone pic.twitter.com/3OoFLqr5TP— mitch cumstein (real) (@mustachetoilet) November 26, 2022
to be serious for a moment: building and launching a smartphone that meaningfully takes market share from Apple & Google is harder than making rockets
Building rockets is all math and science and iteration. You test new rockets until they work the way you need them to work. https://t.co/bwdKx4HeIh
— Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) (@IwriteOK) November 26, 2022
His investors, others pointed out, are probably even less happy than they. Have been.
the banks elon owes 40 billion: you’re gonna make a what now https://t.co/raR36VgpZC
— raandy (@randygdub) November 25, 2022
But at least the Elon dorks came out in droves.
just the saddest people to ever exist pic.twitter.com/JpIb2hu6bb
— the hype (@TheHyyyype) November 25, 2022
In the meantime, Twitter continues to bleed out users. But at least one of the finest Twitter accounts is planning to stay until Musk kills it.
(Via Mediaite)