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Shady Trump-Loving Dandy Roger Stone Is Having Trouble Finding A Non-Woke, Non-Ukraine-Supporting Vodka For His Martinis

Republicans are in a lot of trouble with voters right now. They’re so extreme, so still in thrall to a guy who dines with anti-Semite bigots on Thanksgiving, that their beloved midterms “red wave” failed to coalesce. Have they read the writing on the wall and simmered down? Of course not! In fact, one of them is doubling down so hard he’s struggling to find hooch that isn’t woke and/or pro-Ukraine.

As per Rum Raiders, longtime fixer and Nixon tattoo-haver Roger Stone went on his podcast and ranted about…vodka. Specifically, he ranted about Roger Sterling fave Stolichnaya, which may be a Russian brand but which recently came out in support of Ukraine. Stone, however, is pro-Putin, like some others in his party, and he unleashed a torrent of conspiracy theories to support his stance.

“That means the people who make Stolichnaya vodka support child sex trafficking, money laundering … and the arming of actual Nazis on the ground in Ukraine,” Stone railed. He declared that he will “will never drink another sip of their swill,” and that instead he’s “going all-American, Titos, made in Austin, Texas, is my new brand.”

Thing is, then he ran into another problem: His party is currently waging war on the LGBTQ+ community, despite the recent Club Q mass shooting in Colorado.

“I decided to switch to American-made Tito’s until I learned that they sponsored a drag queen show,” Stone fumed. “Now I have no choice but to use Russian Standard Vodka in my extra dry Martinis.”

Anyway, good luck to Roger Stone in finding a non-woke vodka, though he probably has more pressing issues to worry about.

(Via Rum Raiders)