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‘The Late Show With Stephen Colbert’s Fake Melania Trump Can Barely Contain Her Dry-Heaving Glee Over Donald’s Arrest

Laura Benanti brought back her Melania Trump impression for a hilarious, dry heaving interview with Stephen Colbert on Monday night. The pretend First Lady fielded questions about her post-White House life and how she’s reacting to Donald Trump’s arrest for allegedly making illegal hush money payments to Stormy Daniels. (Melania’s secret? Doing “breathing exercises” a.k.a. busting out the party favors.)

“It is so good to get away from Washington and get back to normal life,” Benanti’s Melania told Colbert to kick things off. “Spending time with my family, enjoying roped off brunches at my live-in golf prison, and disposing of top secret documents.” She then proceeded to literally eat a document before noting, “You can really taste the national security.”

From there, the late night host got into the touchy subject of Trump’s legal matters:

COLBERT: Madam First Lady, I know the topic may just a little sensitive, but I have to ask you about your husband’s arrest.

MELANIA: Stephen, I just hate hearing that word.

COLBERT: Arrest?

MELANIA: No, husband. [dry heaves]

The conversation then turned to Melania’s noted absence from Trump’s post-arrest rally at Mar-a-Lago. According to the fake Melania, she was in attendance. “I was there, Stephen, but nobody saw me because I happened to be in the bathroom. If he can spend half an hour spewing crap, then so can I.”

When asked if she’ll support Trump’s 2024 campaign, Benanti’s First Lady revealed she’ll be working hard by being everywhere Donald is not.

“We will be going to all the battleground states,” she said. “When he goes to Iowa, I go to New Hampshire. When he goes to New Hampshire, I go to Pennsylvania.”

And if Trump goes to jail? “I go to Vegas, baby!” Cue the party favors.