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Mom bluntly lists the things she thought she’d enjoy as a parent but absolutely hates

Parenting comes with lots of magical moments, unlocking a newfound sense of joy, love, wonder and purpose with each completed milestone. However, as any parent would tell you, it’s not a never-ending Disney movie. Far from it. In fact, many of the things parents thought they would enjoy the most about raising a family can end up being the thing they dread the most.

That’s why so many parents are loving Hayley DeRoche’s now-viral TikTok listing all those things she thought she’d love as a mom that turned out to be…a living hell, to put it mildly. As a comedy writer, DeRoche (aka “That Sad Beige Lady”) knows how to deliver some ultra relatable content in a hilariously deadpan way.

“A list of things I thought I would enjoy as a parent that actually I do not,” she says at the top of her video. “These are jokes…for legal reasons.”

First thing on DeRoche’s list of disappointments? Family dinner.

“I thought it would be a lovely bonding experience at the end of the day. Jokes on me because it is not,” she jokes. “Imagine inviting multiple wild mongoose to your dinner table. They’re ravenous, but they are also immediately full because they do not like what has been placed on the table.”

“Also, they have no bones—just flopping right out of those seats. I don’t know why you even have seats, honestly. Do you get to enjoy your meal at least? No. No, you don’t,” she adds.

@sadbeige #parenting #parentingfail #fyp ♬ original sound – That Sad Beige Lady

Vacations are equally disappointing. “Did you know that once you have children, vacations are just ‘trips’?” DeRoche asks. Yes, I think many parents have come to know this truth the hard way.

“You will be vacating your sanity,” she jokes. “Otherwise all of the normal frustrations of parenting will be coming with you. In fact, that’s probably the only thing that does get packed.”

DeRoche attests that the only true relaxation you might be lucky enough to get is “between the hours of 10 and 11 p.m.” but odds are you’ll just collapse on the bed from exhaustion, and you’ll happily take the rest because “you’re gonna need it.”

Nope, not even hiking is what DeRoche thought it would be, which apparently moves at an even slower-than-glacial pace thanks to the kiddos.

“I have had some success with the Hansel and Gretel method where you take some of your trail mix and you just drop it along behind you ,and the child will eventually catch up because they want to catch up to the M&Ms. But yeah, otherwise, do not recommend,” she quips.

Also, “reading anything out loud”…not enjoyable, apparently. Though DeRoche is happy she’s passed her love of graphic novels down to her kid, lately they’ve been into reading the graphic novel “Dog Man” out loud.

This, DeRoche explains, means that all one hears is the dialogue really, since it’s basically a more nuanced picture book. Hearing dialogue with zero context “is confusing for everyone involved, including me, frankly. It’s just, I don’t know, it’s not enjoyable.”

“I don’t wanna burn books, okay? But the thought has crossed my mind,” she says.

Last but not least—and not gonna lie, this one stings a bit—is baking. Rather than a wholesome, Hallmark-worthy activity, DeRoche likened it to “A flour factory exploding in your house.”

Did this video resonate with other parents? You betcha. Many chimed in with their own rude awakenings.

“I spent my entire pregnancy and the 1st year of my son’s life looking forward to spending time in the kitchen together. I hate it so so much,” one mom wrote.

“I thought I would love chaperoning field trips. NOPE,” added another.

With all the less-than-glamorous aspects of parenting, it’s no wonder that more and more people are opting out. Needless to say, raising a family is a big commitment, and many don’t view it as the ultimate outlet for happiness. Honestly, all life decisions come with pros and cons. All we can do is try to go for whatever we think will bring us the most fulfillment, and try to appreciate what manifests.

Even with family dinners, hiking, vacations and baking being ruined, DeRoche confirms that she still wouldn’t trade it for the world. In her words, she doesn’t really “hate it as a whole recipe…just some ingredients.”

By the way, there’s a part two to DeRoche’s list of parenting things she does not actually enjoy, which you can find here.