As Stephen Colbert fans know, the late night comedian spent years teaching Sunday school, so he had a lot to say when new Speaker of the House Mike Johnson said that the Bible represents his view on “any issue under the sun.” Not only that, but Johnson has direct ties to the infamous Creation Museum, which has some interesting stances on the age of the Earth.
As a Christian fundamentalist, Johnson actually thinks that humans and dinosaurs lived together despite fossil records to the contrary, and Colbert had a little fun with that belief
“Yes, many early humans had dinosaurs as pets ― it’s right there in The Book of Hanna-Barbera,” Colbert joked before reading a passage from the holy tome. “And the Lord spake to Hezekiah: have thou a yabba dabba doo time, a dabba doo time, we’ll have a gay old – wait, not that part!”
Again, as a devout Catholic, Colbert knows The Bible and he peppered Johnson with all of the things he’ll need to do to live a literal life according to the Bible.
“Being biblically faithful is not easy for a guy from Louisiana ’cuz now he has to give up shrimp, crab, oysters and barbecue pork,” he said. “And I’m sure he’s gonna miss his wife when she has to be cast out of town during the time of her blood, only to be allowed to return when she brings two turtledoves to the tabernacle for the priest to sacrifice.”
However, the late night host noted that if Johnson truly is as Biblical as he claims to be, it should be a boon to the Left.
“If the Bible is his worldview on any issue, I don’t know why progressives are nervous,” Colbert said. “He’s clearly gonna ask the rich to sell all their possessions and give the money to the poor.”
You can watch Colbert dunk all over Johnson at the 5:03 mark below: