By now everyone’s familiar with the term quiet quitting. Doing the bare minimum of your job requirements to not get fired but don’t really go above an beyond to secure promotions or pay increases. The term has been applied to areas outside of the workplace as well, specifically dating relationships but in a recent Newsweek article, it’s expanded to marriage.
Except, Newsweek’s article and accompanying video are implying that the quiet quitting of a marriage is more prevalent for the woman in marriages. Statistics are pretty indisputable—nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women and men, according to the article are often blindsided by the filing.
In the case of quiet quitting marriage, the wife often continues to do the daily responsibilities of a partner and continue having a sexual relationship while planning their exit. But are women actually quiet quitting because women have other opinions on the matter.
A TikTok creator that goes by Indie Jones shared her thoughts on quiet quitting marriage as someone who is twice divorced.
“As a survivor of two marriages, that I did not quietly quit sh**. You see, I was too busy working, taking care of the children, doing all of the house work, doing the yard work, doing minor repairs around the house,” Jones says. “Trying to scrape together money to pay the bills. Trying to find people to fix things that go wrong in the house. Literally doing everything because my partner expected to be able to work and come home and do nothing.”
Her comment section was filled with similar disputes of the term “quiet quitting” being applied to women planning to leave their husbands.
“We never quiet quit but we eventually choose ourselves after talking to a brick wall,” one commenter writes.
“My ex was shocked when I left. I emotionally disconnected years earlier after decades of telling him ad nauseam that I existed in this marriage too. If he was surprised it’s because he was too self absorbed to hear or consider me and my needs. Just listen already dudes,” another woman explains.
“We haven’t quiet quit, they called it nagging and never listened now shocked we discovered we do not need them,” someone says.
“I communicated my dissatisfaction LONG AND LOUD for years and my husband was still shocked when I quit my marriage,” another commenter revealed.
So it doesn’t seem that women aren’t being vocal about being unhappy, needing help or wanting things to change. The revelations under Jones’ video makes the notion of quiet quitting marriage seem more like one partner ignoring the issue until it’s too late because it works for them.
According to a recent Pew Research Center report, even when women make just as much as their husbands or are the primary breadwinner, they still do the bulk of the housekeeping and childrearing. In the same report, it reveals that women in these relationships also spend less time on leisure activities than their husbands.
“Even as financial contributions have become more equal in marriages, the way couples divide their time between paid work and home life remains unbalanced. Women pick up a heavier load when it comes to household chores and caregiving responsibilities, while men spend more time on work and leisure.”
From the sound of things, women are still bearing the brunt of the household and childrearing responsibilities and being pretty vocal about the imbalance. If there’s vocalization of displeasure for months, sometimes years, then are women really “quiet quitting” or are they advocating for a balanced relationship but being ignored? It seems that more research may need to go into this “quiet quitting” marriage phenomenon to get to the bottom of what’s happening. But until then, you can check out Jones’ video below, though beware of some colorful language choices sprinkled throughout.
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