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We Blind Tested Fast Food French Fries — Here’s The Stone Cold Champ

Name a better side order than French fries. Go ahead, we’ll wait. Still nothing? Yeah, we’re not surprised, because nothing beats French fries — they’re the quintessential fast food side order. That’s why just about every fast food brand (even Taco Bell, when they feel like it) has French fries on the menu. That and the fact that potatoes are dirt cheap and freeze easily.

Since our favorite part of a fast food meal is often the fries, we’ve written about French fries a lot. We’ve ranked as many as we could, we’ve sought out the best-dressed fries and we’ve argued about whether or not In-N-Out’s spuds are good or not. We’ve even made fries — a couple of different ways. But the one thing we haven’t done is put fast food French fries to a blind taste test.

Until today! We’re pitting five of the most famous fast food French fries against each other (blind!) to see which are the best and which fries should never be ordered by human beings ever. Does that sound harsh? Good! If a fast food brand f*cks up fries — the easiest food ever (you need potatoes, hot oil, salt, and literally nothing else) — then that’s a big red flag. Let’s get into it!

PART I — Methodology

French Fry Blind
Dane Rivera

Because the fast food universe has a lot of different types of French fries — you’ve got salted fries, seasoned fries (curly, cajun, Rally’s), and the natural sort you’d find at fast-casual spots — we decided to filter it down to the most famous form, salted. I’m obsessed with making these blind taste tests as fair as possible and since I live in a place where a Carl’s Jr, McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, and Jack in the Box are all relatively close to each other (hell, I live in hell), I knew I could pick up all five French fries and test them without them getting too cold.

Have you ever had French fries cold? They’re inedible! Four of these fast food restaurants are across the street from one another, making this test easy, but Wendy’s was the exception. So I drove to my nearest Wendy’s, placed an order for a small fry, alerted my girlfriend to hit up Carl’s Jr, Jack in the Box, McDonald’s, and Burger King (all ordered simultaneously via each brand’s app), and meet me back at home. From when I left my apartment to when we arrived back in my kitchen, 15 minutes had passed (beat that Uber, Door Dash, and Postmates — which all take an average of 45 minutes for some reason). Each bag was still warm.

I had my girlfriend serve me one random plate of fries at a time, ate a handful, and moved on to the next plate (I also mixed all the fries together at the end into a single bag, and ate them all. This was a bad idea, unfortunately). Anyway, here are the results”

PART II — The Tasting

Taste 1

French Fry Blind
Dane Rivera

God damn, I love French fries. These fries are perfectly salted, bright, and crispy. The outer portion of the fry provides the right amount of crunch, and the inside of the fry is soft, fluffy and flavorful. They’re the sort of fries you can eat without any sort of dipping sauce.

Taste 2

French Fry Blind
Dane Rivera

Eck, texture like cardboard. These fries have a sort of dirty flavor to them, like the skin wasn’t properly scrubbed, and have a strange stale aftertaste that sits on the tongue. They are in desperate need of some sauce.

Not inedible, but aside from the dirt flavor, way too bland to be enjoyable.

Taste 3

French Fry Blind
Dane Rivera

Addicting. These fries offer a similar experience to Taste 1, they’re crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside, but there is just something about the flavor here that tastes elevated. There is a sort of buttery aftertaste on the back end and a tinge of sweetness that hovers just above the primarily salty flavor. I could not stop eating these, I didn’t want to give up the plate.

Taste 4

French Fry Blind
Dane Rivera

Taste 4 offers what I think Taste 2 was trying to go for but failed at — a natural flavor. These French fries taste like someone actually cut a potato in-house and fried them soon after. They don’t have that neutral flavor that peeled fries have, I’m getting a lot of earthy bitterness… but in the best way.

These fries are also a bit thicker than the others, I’m tasting a lot more potato here overall but they can’t quite hit the heights of Taste 3. These are very good, but not addicting.

Taste 5

French Fry Blind
Dane Rivera

I had my girlfriend try a few of these because I thought my taste buds were fried. I drank water between bites and even had some sips of soda and I’ve come to the conclusion that these are absolutely flavorless (she confirmed). All I’m tasting is straight oil! All this fry offers is texture, they’re crunchy on the outside and mushy on the inside, like someone breaded mashed potatoes in cornstarch.

If you love mashed potatoes that might sound good to you, mashed potatoes are great, but these fries don’t have any of that buttery and creamy mashed potato flavor, just the texture. Fries should be fluffy inside, not mushy. I wish I could say these taste bad, because I don’t like them, but they simply don’t taste like anything.

PART III — The Ranking

5. Burger King (Taste 5)

French Fry Blind
Ashley Garcia

If you’ve ever had Burger King this shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. Burger King sucks. I’m sorry to say that — though I’m not really sorry to anyone because there’s no one who likes Burger King enough to be bothered by me saying “Burger King sucks.”

Anyway, Burger King fries generally have one of two problems — either they’re over-salted to the point of burning off your taste buds or they aren’t salted at all and therefore taste like nothing. With this trip to BK, I got the latter. I’m not sure which I would’ve preferred.

The Bottom Line

This blind taste test’s worst French fries and quite possibly the worst fast food French fries of all time.

Find your nearest Burger King here.

4. Wendy’s (Taste 2)

French Fry Blind
Ashley Garcia

Wendy’s is having a bit of an identity crisis when it comes to its French fries. Most recently the chain launched a new recipe of fries they call “Hot and Crispy,” and claimed that the fries would hold up in heat and flavor longer than the competition. We took that claim to the test and didn’t find them to be particularly enjoyable after 20 minutes or so.

There is also no consistency with these fries, in my experience, sometimes they taste good, and sometimes they just don’t. For this blind taste test, I got a set that tasted particularly dirty. Maybe that was the oil, perhaps the fries were sitting around for too long under the heat lamp, maybe the quality of the potatoes just wasn’t very good — I’m not sure, but what I can tell you is that if you get fries from Wendy’s, you never really know what you’re going to get. And for that, it’s going to have to rank fourth.

The Bottom Line

In-consistent, bitter, and dirty tasting.

Find your nearest Wendy’s here.

3. Jack in the Box (Taste 1)

French Fry Blind
Ashley Garcia

I was surprised by how highly Jack in the Box ranked, I almost gave this one the second-place spot. They have that same bright and buttery taste that makes McDonald’s famous, but they taste a little bit too much like oil. Still, it’s very hard to not enjoy these and whether you like them or not will come down to how much you’re turned off by greasy fries.

For me, the greasier the better! If only Jack in the Box fried these in quality oil (doesn’t have to be peanut, but at least clean it out every few hours) they’d have something truly magical on their hands.

The Bottom Line

If you always reach for the curly fries instead, give the salted fries a chance, they’re better than you remember. While it ranked third, this was the biggest surprise of this blind taste test. I’ve been sleeping on JiB.

Find your nearest Jack in the Box here.

2. Carl’s Jr. (Taste 4)

French Fry Blind
Ashley Garcia

Carl’s Jr. gets the award for having the most natural-tasting fries in fast food. These taste like real potatoes in the best way possible. They’re earthy, salty, fluffy, and perfectly crispy on the outside. I’ve long been a fan of Carl’s Jr’s criss-cut fries, but after having the Natural Cut I may have to switch over permanently.

These don’t hold a candle to our number one spot, but depending on what you look for in French fries, these can easily be your personal favorite.

The Bottom Line

The most natural-tasting fries in fast food. If you want your French fries to have a bit of that bitter and earthy skin-on flavor, this is your best bet.

Find your nearest Carl’s Jr. here.

1. McDonald’s (Taste 3)

French Fry Blind
Ashley Garcia

It feels a bit basic to give McDonald’s the number one spot but the blind taste test made it clear as day. These are far and above the best French fries you can get from a drive-thru. I don’t know what McDonald’s is doing to their fries to make them so addicting (I suspect it’s a pinch of sugar???) but whatever they’re doing… it’s working.

It’s telling that of the five fast food chains we tasted in this blind taste test, McDonald’s is the only one that hasn’t really changed their French fry recipe. Sure, there was a time when McDonald’s fried their potatoes in beef tallow, and we desperately long for those days, but aside from that, they haven’t f*cked with the recipe at all. Even with the rise of fast-casual chains like Five Guys — a brand so serious about their potatoes that they list what farms they come from daily — McDonald’s has stayed unwavering in its fry recipe.

These fries didn’t just land the number one spot, they absolutely dunked on the four other tastings. I didn’t know it was McDonald’s when I tasted it blind, but it didn’t surprise me that it landed at number one.

The Bottom Line

McDonald’s is the sort of place you eat at for the fries. Even the burgers and nuggets don’t have anything on these golden spears of perfection. The real question is, how do these fries stack up against a place like Five Guys? We’ll let you know when we put them head to head.

Find your nearest McDonald’s here.

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Rick Grimes And Michonne’s ‘The Walking Dead’ Spinoff Has Released A Tiny Tease With Behind-The-Scenes Images

The Walking Dead spinoffs are coming. That’s the good news that we keep hearing from AMC, which has thus far periodically gifted us with images from three spinoffs due to debut in the coming year or so. First, we saw the unlikely team of Negan and Maggie, who will face ultra disgusting Walkers in Manhattan. Then came images of Daryl Dixon and non-glam Walkers in France for his “Boom Boom” project. Now, we’re finally seeing some tiny glimpses of the Rick Grimes and Michonne show.

This has been a long time coming after Rick Grimes movies were forecast, and then Hollywood switched gears (for obvious reasons) on, well, everything. Yet spinoff filming has finally begun with Andrew Lincoln and Danai Gurira in New Jersey, and although the images are sort-of “proof of life” for characters that we already knew were alive, one of them confirms that the reunion is a warm one:

Rick Grimes Michonne The Walking Dead Spinoff
AMC

Then there’s this uneventful image, but at least it communicates a joint effort. This ain’t simply the Rick Grimes show, people.

Rick Grimes Michonne The Walking Dead Spinoff
AMC

From the synopsis of the yet-untitled spinoff:

The series presents an epic love story of two characters changed by a changed world. Kept apart by distance. By an unstoppable power. By the ghosts of who they were. Rick and Michonne are thrown into another world, built on a war against the dead… And ultimately, a war against the living. Can they find each other and who they were in a place and situation unlike any they’ve ever known before? Are they enemies? Lovers? Victims? Victors? Without each other, are they even alive — or will they find that they, too, are the Walking Dead?

The Walking Dead‘s Rick and Michonne party will debut… sometime.

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48-Year-Old Da Brat Is Pregnant With Her First Child After Believing She’d Never Have Kids

Da Brat has done a lot in her life. The rapper has had albums and songs reach the top 10 of the Billboard charts and achieve platinum certification. She’s earned Grammy nominations. She’s otherwise cemented herself as a key figure in hip-hop history. Now, at 48 years old, she’s trying something new: pregnancy.

Da Brat confirmed with People that she and wife Jesseca “Judy” Harris-Dupart are expecting a baby. Harris-Dupart previously had three children before her relationship with Da Brat, and for Da Brat, this is her first time carrying a child. She is currently 18 weeks pregnant.

She told People, “I never thought I was going to have kids. I just thought it wasn’t in the cards for me. I’ve had a great career, a full life. I felt like, because I didn’t get pregnant earlier on, then it just wasn’t going to happen for me.”

Da Brat also noted, “It’s been quite a journey. There’s a lot of stuff we learned about women over the age of 40.”

She also said of how her mindset shifted after meeting Harris-Dupart, “I started looking at life so differently,” says Da Brat. “I was like, I want a little me with you. Something special from the both of us that we can share and raise and love unconditionally.”

Read more from Da Brat about her pregnancy here.

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Please Watch ‘You’ Superfan Drew Barrymore Lock Herself In A Glass Cage And Lose Her Mind Over A Birthday Surprise

It’s easy to forget that stars are just like us. They, too, have favorite shows to obsess over and binge in three days then make it their entire personality for a month or so. Hey, just because you’re rich and famous doesn’t mean you can’t sit down and watch some good peak TV, even if you are on TV. Drew Barrymore, despite being a Hollywood icon with a prolific career, is not immune to getting star-struck every once in a while, especially if the star is from You, her favorite show.

Penn Badgley stopped by The Drew Barrymore Show to surprise the host for her birthday by giving her some cleaning products and keeping her in a glass cage like his character Joe on You. If you are unfamiliar, Joe is a murderer that everyone loves because he reads books and has a beard. Keep up!

Barrymore was brought into a carefully constructed glass box where she was then surprised by Badgley, who remarked, “You’re not supposed to want this!” referring to being held prisoner by a man from Brooklyn. Barrymore, ignoring the warning, exclaims, “You know me so well!” Barrymore is known for hosting chaotic moments on her show, so this isn’t too bad.

Fans may remember that last year, Barrymore was gifted with a virtual visit from Badgley for her birthday, where she ended up crying on the floor. So that’s probably why they wanted to keep her contained in a box this time, but it also goes along with the theme, so it works.

The full episode, in which we see if Drew really survives, will air tomorrow.

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Nick Cave Offers A Young Fan Some Incredibly Touching Advice On How To Live Life To The Fullest

Nick Cave received a touching letter from a young 13-year-old fan, as he noted in a recent Red Hand Files blog post — where he responded with some sound advice that was requested.

“I’m 13. In a world ridden with so much hate, and disconnect; How do I live life to its absolute fullest, and not waste my potential? Especially as a creative. Also, what is a great way to spiritually enrich myself? in general, and in my creative work,” Ruben, the fan from Melbourne, Australia, asked.

“Dear Ruben. When I read this question, my initial thought was that the kid who wrote this has nothing to worry about, they’re going to be all right,” Cave opened his heartfelt response. “Ruben, you are very smart, you are engaged with the world and I’m not sure what your creative interests are, but you can certainly already write. Not only that, you are also reaching out for answers. At thirteen, this is all brilliant! Luckily for you, Ruben, I have some! So here goes!”

“Read. Read as much as possible,” Cave added. “Read the big stuff, the challenging stuff, the confronting stuff, and read the fun stuff too. Visit galleries and look at paintings, watch movies, listen to music, go to concerts — be a little vampire running around the place sucking up all the art and ideas you can. Fill yourself with the beautiful stuff of the world. Have fun. Get amazed. Get astonished. Get awed on a regular basis, so that getting awed is habitual and becomes a state of being.”

The Bad Seeds musician offers more sweet advice to the fan looking for a bit of hope, and those looking to read the full thing can find it in the link above. Cave also accepts questions that he just might answer someone else next.

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Marjorie Taylor Greene, Who Swears She’s Not Calling For A Civil War, Laid Out Rules For Her ‘National Divorce’ That Sound Kinda Civil War-y

Marjorie Taylor Greene spent President’s Day getting dragged over her tweet calling for a “national divorce,” and to the surprise of no one, she’s doubling down. In a new Twitter thread posted Tuesday, Greene outlined her plan for the “legal agreement,” but she clearly saw some of the criticism being hurled her way. The Georgia congresswoman made it a point to note that she’s not calling for a “civil war,” which is a pretty incredible thing to say while writing a point-by-point plan to secede from the freaking union.

“Tragically, I think we, the left and right, have reached irreconcilable differences,” Greene wrote while continuing to use divorce terminology. “I’ll speak for the right and say, we are absolutely disgusted and fed up with the left cramming and forcing their ways on us and our children with no respect for our religion/faith, traditional values, and economic & government policy beliefs.”

Greene then proceeded to lay out how the red states would differ from the blue states, kind of like how the South wanted to differentiate itself from the North by continuing to own people like property. In a predictable move, most of Greene’s rules revolved around denying rights to transgender citizens:

Red states would ban biological males from all girls/women’s sports and all girls/women’s places of privacy.

Red states would maintain the truth that there are only two genders and would require the biological identity of each person’s gender on their identification, not how the person identifies.

If you choose to identify differently you can, but if you want it on legal record you’ll need to move to a blue state in order to be legally free to lie to yourself and others about your identity.

On top of a laundry list of culture war issues, Greene also vowed that the newly formed red states would “not have to abide by climate cult lies.” So basically a whole lot of bigotry and air pollution. Sign up today!

If you hate your brain, you can read Greene’s call for secession here.

(Via Marjorie Taylor Greene on Twitter)

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Jayda G’s ‘Guy’: Everything To Know Including The Release Date, Tracklist, And More

Grammy-nominated writer, producer, and DJ Jayda G may have grabbed music lovers’ attention thanks to a few high-profile dance remixes, including one of Taylor Swift’s chart-topping single “Anti-Hero.” Still, once you dive into her solo work, it is sure to keep you locked in. The Canadian but now-London-based musician’s forthcoming album, Guy, draws on her House music roots with a flare of disco, R&B, and soul music.

The album was named after her late father, William Richard Guy, who inspired the project.

“I wanted the album to be a blend of storytelling about the African American experience, death, grief, and understanding,” Jayda explained in a statement. She went on to add, “It’s about my dad and his story, and naturally, in part my story, too, but it’s also about so many people who wanted more for themselves and went on a search to find that. This album is just so much for people who have been oppressed and who have not had easy lives.”

Learn more about the album, co-produced with Jack Peñate, below.

Release Date

Guy will arrive 6/9 via Ninja Tune. You can pre-save it here.

Tracklist

  1. “Intro”
  2. “Blue Lights”
  3. “Heads Or Tails”
  4. “Scars”
  5. “Interlude: I Got Tired Of Running”
  6. “Lonely Back In O”
  7. “Your Thoughts”
  8. “Interlude: It Was Beautiful”
  9. “Meant To Be”
  10. “Circle Back Around”
  11. “When She Dance”
  12. “Sapphires Of Gold”
  13. “15 Foot”

Features

The album’s official tracklist doesn’t include any featured guest vocalist, but the project is being co-produced by Jack Peñate and will feature musical contributions from Lisa-Kaindé Diaz (of Ibeyi), Ed Thomas, and more.

Artwork

You can see the artwork (photographed by Farah Nosh) for Guy below.

Jayda G Guy Album Cover 2023
Farah Nosh

Singles

So far, Jayda G has only released one single from the album titled, “Circle Back Around.”

Tour Dates

Jayda G hasn’t announced a formal tour to support the album. However, she does have several international shows already lined up. You can see the full list below.

02/25 — Paris, France @ Badaboum
03/10 — London, UK @ Printworks London
03/11 — Leeds, UK @ Headrow House
03/17 — Bognor Regis, UK @ Southport Weekender
04/07 — Amsterdam, Netherlands @ DGTL Amsterdam
04/08 — Edinburgh, UK @ Terminal V
04/10 — Mayrhofen, Austria @ Snowbombing
06/01 — Barcelona, Spain @ Primavera Sound Festival
06/08 — Arganda del Rey, Spain @ Primavera Pack
06/08 — Arganda del Rey, Spain @ Primavera Sound Festival

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The Absolute Best Scotch Whisky Between $90-$100, Ranked

Scotch whisky gets really good when its price lands right under $100 per bottle. This is where the bottles start going beyond “entry-level” and toward longer aging, special finishing, and that little something extra that make them special and (quite often but not always) delicious. Also, there’s more Scotch whisky on the shelf at this price point since Scotch whisky is inherently more expensive in the U.S. than, say, bourbon or rye whiskey.

That makes deciding which bottle to buy a little bit more of a question mark. To help you, I’m going to list 15 Scotch whiskies — single malt and blended expressions — that you absolutely should buy, drink, and perhaps even add to your regular rotation. For this list, list I’m covering peated and unpeated whiskies. As mentioned above, there are blended whiskies (a blend of grain and single malt barrels) and single malts expressions. In essence, there’s something for everyone listed below. My advice is to read the tasting notes, find something that speaks to you or sparks your curiosity, and hit that price link to see if you can find it in your neck of the woods.

A quick note, these prices are set for delivery (Total Wine, Drizly, ReserveBar) in Lousiville, Kentucky. Local prices and availability with vary depending on your region. Let’s dive in!

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Scotch Whisky Posts of The Last Six Months

15. anCnoc Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Rascan

Inver House

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $94

The Whisky:

Hailing from the famed Knockdhu Distillery, this single malt (pronounced “uh-KNOCK”) is named after the rake-like tool that breaks up the sod so harvesters can dig out some peat. The whisky is made from malt that’s barely been kissed with the smoke from a peat fire, keeping the phenols (that’s the smoke compound in the barley) very low. The juice is loaded into ex-bourbon barrels where it’s allowed to rest for “nearly” 10 years before proofing and bottling.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: There’s a rush of fresh Granny Smith apples on the nose next to Honey Nut Cheerios with the smallest spritz of orange oils.

Palate: The fresh honey sweetness builds, as a slight and almost woody bourbon vanilla sneaks onto the palate with a sharp edge of eggnog spice.

Finish: The sip slowly fades towards smoked dried apple tobacco with a touch of old, soft leather and dried heather.

Bottom Line:

This is a great place to start for American whiskey palates. The bourbon aging adds a nice and soft vanilla backbone and sharp spiced edge that plays really well with malty honeyed sweetness and orchard fruit vibes. The peated “smokiness” is so dialed back, that you might miss it on the first sip, which is great for anyone who’s a little peat hesitant.

14. Tobermory Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 12 Years

Tobermory
Tobermory

ABV: 46.3%

Average Price: $97

The Whisky:

This unpeated malt from the Isle of Mull spends 12 years aging in first-fill ex-bourbon barrels (those are barrels that haven’t had anything but bourbon in them so far). Once that whisky is just right, the malt is transferred to new American oak barrels for nine more months of mellowing before bottling at cask strength with no fussing whatsoever.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Bourbon vanilla comes through on the nose with a deep creaminess that’s punctuated by orange zest, woody cinnamon, and a light hint of granite.

Palate: The palate leans into warm and soft malts as soft hints of orchard fruit lead to pencil shavings and a touch of chili-chocolate tobacco.

Finish: The end is a mix of winter spices with a woody edge next to soft suede, more vanilla cream, and soft maltiness that’s nearly chocolate custard.

Bottom Line:

This is another great “bridge” whisky that’s also niche enough that you’ll get some serious whisky street cred for knowing that it exists. That bridge is, of course, between bourbon and unpeated single malt. There’s a deep sense of chocolate malts that are wonderfully accented by rich bourbon vanilla and chili-spiced bourbon oak staves. It all really comes together well, making it a great pour for a bourbon fan looking for a good starter single malt.

13. Laphroaig Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky Càirdeas Warehouse 1

Laphroaig Cairdeas Warehouse 1
Beam Suntory

ABV: 52.2%

Average Price: $99

The Whisky:

This year’s Càirdeas release celebrates the Friends of Laphroaig and how they keep the brand going. The whisky in the bottle is made from Laphroaig’s high-phenol peated malt right next to the sea on Islay. The hot spirit was then filled in first-fill limited edition single barrel Maker’s Mark bourbon barrels. The barrels were then stored in the famed four-story Warehouse 1 right next to the crashing sea until they were just right and then bottled as-is after vatting.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose opens with a huge note of smoked grainy malts next to an un-opened box of Band-Aids, peppery smoked brisket with plenty of smoked fat, and smoked sea salt counterpointed by vanilla sheet cake with a honey icing and dusted with cinnamon and nutmeg.

Palate: The palate opens with burnt yet buttery toffee next to white wildflowers, dried fennel, and rich and creamy honey smoothness and sweetness.

Finish: The end gets a little woody with a fatty smoked peppery vibe next to more toffee and a dash of seawater-washed granite.

Bottom Line:

This is for the peat seekers. This stuff is bold and unforgiving if your palate is not ready for hefty ashy peat and deep medicinal whisky vibes. That said, if you build your palate over time, this whisky will bloom and reveal beautiful layers of buttery sweetness, soft florals, and spiced honey sweetness with a nutty creaminess.

12. The Singleton Single Malt Scotch Whiskey 18 Years Old Glendullan Distillery

The Singleton of Glendullan 18
Diageo

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $99

The Whisky:

This Speyside whisky rests mostly in ex-bourbon casks. The final product adds in a few finishing barrels from Europe to mellow out the heavier bourbon barrels. That blend is then cut down to a low 80-proof for bottling.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose opens with hints of cedar and winter spice underneath caramel candies, roasted almonds, and a hint of stewed orchard fruits.

Palate: The palate largely carries on those flavors with a subtle hint of bourbon vanilla and spicy tobacco warmth attached to the maltiness, with an echo of dark chocolate-covered hazelnuts.

Finish: The finish leans into the cedar and tobacco with a slightly mineral water base.

Bottom Line:

This is a very easy-sipping whisky experience. You don’t need a rock to calm this one down, it’s already as mellow as can be. Mellowness aside, this is still a complex and rewarding whisky that’s well-built and pretty damn tasty. If you’re looking for an easy start to your unpeated single malt journey, this is about the softest landing/easiest entry point that you can find in the whole single malt game.

11. Longrow Peated Campbeltown Single Malt Scotch Whisky

Longrow Peated
J&A Mitchell & Company

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $99

The Whisky:

This Campbeltown whisky is distilled at the iconic Springbank Distillery. The whisky is a no-age-statement release that leans into the peatier end of the Springbank offerings. The whisky is bottled with a bit of water added to cut the proof down but without filtration or added color.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Vanilla pudding mingles with a line of smoke from a smoldering backyard firepit while a savory herb garden grows nearby and then the nose veers toward singed marshmallows and burning fruitwood.

Palate: The palate leans into that burning fruity wood before creamy vanilla leads to a brand new Ace Bandage.

Finish: That medicinal note gives way to a wet clay with a nice minerality before the sweet and fruity smoke kicks back in and layers together vanilla, winter spice, and leather on the finish.

Bottom Line:

This is funky and fresh with a nice balance of peated ashiness and medicinal qualities front and center. This isn’t as unforgiving as a Laphroaig, but it is 100% and acquired taste that’ll take time for your palate to truly enjoy. So take your time with it. If you’re already far down your peated whisky road, then this is simply a must-have bottle that you can actually find from a pretty un-gettable whisky distillery.

10. Glenmorangie The Cadboll Estate Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 15 Years

Louis Vuitton Moët Hennessy

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $94

The Whisky:

Glenmorangie has finally made this a regular drop on the North American market. The whisky is made from Highland barley grown exclusively on the 440-acre Cadboll Estate, which surrounds the distillery. The hot juice is then filled into French casks which held Muscat and Sémillon wines. It’s then left alone for 15 years to mature. Finally, those barrels are batched and brought down to a low 86 proof with local highland spring water.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: There’s a sense of buttered scones with lemon curd next to a good dose of vanilla and a touch of savory herbs on the nose.

Palate: The palate really holds onto that biscuity nature while adding in a caramel candy note next to a bit of butter with a white sugar cube vibe.

Finish: That lemon comes back on the short finish with hints of old straw and strawberry jam.

Bottom Line:

This is a quintessential unpeated single malt that’s a little extra thanks to that single estate barley in the mix. This is soft and inviting and a great example of the beauty brands like the Glenmorangie can achieve. That makes this the perfect bottle to add to your bar cart if you’re looking to take a big step up from the standard 12-year expressions out there.

9. Grand Old Parr Aged 18 Years Blended Scotch Whisky

Old Parr 18
Diageo

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $93

The Whisky:

This old-school brand just expanded into 18-year territory for the U.S. market. The whisky is made from malts and grain whiskies mostly pulled from the famed Cragganmore distillery. Those whiskies are vatted/batched, proofed, and bottled in this old-school stubby bottle.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Dark and meaty dates and figs are countered by a hint of vanilla cream, woody cinnamon, and … I want to say … oyster or clam shell.

Palate: The palate is a classic malty experience with a touch of sage over caramelized root vegetables with a whisper of vanilla cake filled with spicy stewed plums.

Finish: The end has a mild woodiness that’s attached to the spices with a hint of oak and mustiness.

Bottom Line:

This feels old-school, kind of like you’re drinking endless Scotch on the rocks pours in the 1950s in a dark and dank club somewhere in Edinburgh. Nostalgia aside, this whisky is a great on-the-rocks pour that’s funky and classic at the same time. It’s a nice balance. If you’re looking for something old that feels new, this is the bottle to buy.

8. Bowmore Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 15 Years

Bowmore 15
Beam Suntory

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $99

The Whisky:

This bottle from Islay’s Bowmore is a 15-year-old whisky that’s a blend of American and European oak. For the first 12 years, this whisky rests in ex-bourbon barrels. For the last three years, the whisky is transferred to Oloroso sherry casks. The whisky is then finished with local spring water, bringing it down to a very approachable 86-proof.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Bowmore’s low peatiness shines through on the nose with a hint of smoked chocolate malts next to raisins, dates, and plums with a hint of smoked fig next to mild sourdough scones.

Palate: The palate leans into a cedar box full of spicy tobacco that’s dipped in Karo syrup with more of those dried fruits lurking in the background of the sip.

Finish: Those sweet and dried fruits move the mid-palate towards oat cakes touched with cinnamon and a dry yet sweet tobacco vibe on the end.

Bottom Line:

This is another peated whisky that you’d be forgiven for missing that it was peated at all. The smokiness is tied to the sweet chocolate malts and dark fruits. There are no “ashy” or “medicinal” peated vibes at all. This is a bourbon-forward single malt that has serious depth and really serves as a great introduction to the beautiful subtly of Bowmare as a distillery.

7. Clynelish Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 14 Years

Diageo

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $95

The Whisky:

Up on the cold northern coast of Scotland, you’ll find a little town called Brora. There used to be a distillery there of the same name, which made peat monsters up unit the 1980s. Clynelish took over the location and started making their own peated malts, this time while leaning more into the sea than the peat. And in this case, they’ve created a very lightly peated single malt that spends a decade and a half resting near that sea until it’s just right.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: This has a nostalgic sense of a cold, rainy beach. You’re not necessarily on that beach but you can remember to sea spray, the salt on your lips, the smell of dried seaweed, and a touch of old smoke from a nearly dead fire.

Palate: The taste dances between notes of burnt orange peels, old leather tobacco pouches, and this soft mineral water mouthfeel that carries with it a creamy vanilla just touched with sea salt.

Finish: The end is medium-length, salty, and has this mildly bitter edge that’s akin to a cocoa bean pith.

Bottom Line:

This is the perfect blend of sea and roasted malt that’s creamy and salty more than ashy or funky. It’s so subtle and soft with a sense of rich creaminess thanks to the vanilla and choco aura that you can’t help but adore it from the first nose and sip. If you’re looking for a truly elevated and subtle peated malt experience, this is the bottle to dive into.

6. Glenkinchie Single Malt Scotch Whisky Distillers Edition

Diageo

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $98

The Whisky:

This limited edition expression from last year’s Diageo Distiller’s Editions is expertly crafted Lowland whisky. The malt is finished in a specially made barrel that is constructed from used and new American oak that’s then filled with Amontillado sherry for a month. Once that fortified wine is dumped, the whisky goes in for its final maturation.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose is a soft mix of cedar, red berry, and vanilla pods next to a bowl of fruity candy with a hint of caramel and raisin.

Palate: The palate starts off watery but then explodes with flavor — black pepper, brie rinds, sour candy, a dirt cellar floor, smooth malts, and a hint of sour apple tobacco all make appearances.

Finish: The finish continues to build with a cheese cellar vibe next to fresh cream touched with winter spices, dried red fruits, soft cedar, and vanilla on the back end.

Bottom Line:

This is a rare-ish whisky that the whisky authorities will rave about (like me) but is still pretty under the radar. Part of that is that Lowland whisky is a tiny region relatively. Another part of that whisky is a limited edition. All of that aside, this is a great option for anyone to truly up their Scotch whisky game with a delicious whisky that will 100% gain them some serious esteem as a whisky drinker in the know.

5. Johnnie Walker Aged 18 Years Blended Scotch Whisky

Diageo

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $99

The Whisky:

This blend used to be called Johnnie Walker Platinum, which was also aged for 18 years. You might still see some of those bottles on shelves where scotch sells slowly. This is the same whisky comprised of 18 whiskies — all of which are a minimum of 18 years old. The primary distilleries in the bottle are Blair Athol, Cardhu, Glen Elgin, and Auchroisk.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Applewood and buttery toffee draw you in on the nose with nice notes of fresh and ripe fruit, worn jacket leather, and soft malts just touched with winter spices.

Palate: Caramel leads the palate toward rich marzipan, vanilla pudding, and freshly peeled tangerines.

Finish: Sweet yet dark cacao drives the mid-palate toward the softest line of sweet smoke just touched with dry chili spice and that applewood.

Bottom Line:

This is another great bottle of whisky from Johnnie Walker. When you get into these higher expressions from the brand, you really start to see why Johnnie Walker is so beloved around the world. It’s just really freaking good whisky and this bottle is no different. Buy this if you’re looking for a great blended whisky that delivers as a slow sipper on par with the best single malts (at this price point) out there.

4. Old Pulteney Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 15 Years

Old Pulteney
Old Pulteney

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $99

The Whisky:

This seaside Highland whisky is a whisky lover’s brand. The unpeated juice in this case is made from local malted barley. That spirit goes into ex-bourbon barrels for 15 years before it’s refilled into first-fill ex-Oloroso sherry butts for a final rest. Finally, the whisky is vatted and proofed before bottling.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Soft stewed pears in honey with a hint of saffron open the nose next to a touch of raisin, dried apple chips, and maybe some dried roses and orange rinds.

Palate: The palate touches on a chocolatey coffee with hints of vanilla bean, minced meat pies, and mulled wine spice with a smidge of sour red wine in there.

Finish: The end is part sticky toffee pudding and part salted dried berries with a hint of marzipan and dark chocolate tobacco on the finish.

Bottom Line:

This is an essential pour of unpeated single malt. There’s a wonderful balance of dark flavor notes with bright orchard and floral vibes that just works. If you’re looking for an exemplary unpeated single malt for just under $100, this is it.

3. The Dalmore Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky Aged 14 Years

The Dalmore 14
The Dalmore

ABV: 43.8%

Average Price: $99

The Whisky:

This Highland single malt is classic malted whisky from The Dalmore that spends 14 years mellowing. Then The Dalmore’s Master Whisky Maker Gregg Glass hand-selects specific barrels for vatting and re-barreling in very rare Pedro Ximénez casks from the House of Gonzalez Byass in Spain. Once Glass deems those barrels just right, they’re vatted, proofed, and bottled exclusively for the U.S. market.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: The nose opens with a sense of subtle citrus — almost bitter orange and lemon — next to salted black licorice, caramel malted ice cream, toffee candies, and marzipan cake covered with poppy seeds and vanilla wafers.

Palate: The palate is pure sticky toffee pudding fresh out of the oven with a little bit of orange zest and flaked salt next to black-tea-soaked dates, sweet cinnamon, fresh nutmeg, rum-soaked caramel sauce, and a dollop of brandy butter with a twist of dark chocolate nibs.

Finish: The end leans into the dates and marzipan with a touch of spiced fig jam and prunes dipped in creamy yet very dark salted chocolate.

Bottom Line:

This is where we get into the best of the best at this price point. This is essential unpeated single malt whisky that’s dark, delicious, and unbelievably well-balanced. If this doesn’t make you fall in love with single malt from the first sip, then maybe nothing will.

2. Aberlour A’bunadh Speyside Single Malt Scotch Whisky

Pernod Ricard

ABV: 56.2%

Average Price: $94

The Whisky:

A’bunadh (ah-boon-arh) means “the original” in Gaelic and the whisky in this Speyside bottle represents that idea for Aberlour. The whisky is matured in old Oloroso sherry casks exclusively. The whisky then goes into the bottle at cask strength, unfussed with.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: That sherry plumminess is evident right up top, with hints of bright orange oils, clumps of dark chocolate, honey, and nuts, and a hint of oak.

Palate: The taste shines with notes of dark, ripe cherries, prunes, more bright orange zest, dark chocolate, and a good measure of svelte vanilla.

Finish: The slow finish leaves you with a creamy mouthfeel next to bitter chocolate next to sweet cherries and plums, all of which lead towards a warming spice on the tongue at the end.

Bottom Line:

Re-read the “bottom line” above, the same applies here. What I’d add to that about this delectable Aberlour expression is that this really speaks to bourbon drinkers. This is one of the best bridges between unpeated Scotch single malt and Kentucky bourbon that money can buy. That’s so true that this even makes an amazing Manhattan and old fashioned.

1. Lagavulin Single Islay Malt Whisky Aged 16 Years

Diageo

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $97

The Whisky:

This is the most recognizable Lagavulin out there. The malts are smoked just down the road from the distillery at Port Ellen and the mash is crafted expertly by the sea at Lagavulin Distillery. The whisky then spends 16 long years mellowing in old American and Spanish oak before vatting, proofing, and bottling.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Imagine a beach fire that’s using dried seaweed as fuel next to mugs of honeyed black tea and a clump of wet moss on the nose.

Palate: The taste of this dram meanders through dried pipe tobacco smoke laced with hints of vanilla and tart apple while notes of briny caramel lead towards an oyster shell minerality.

Finish: The finish is pure silk as the seaweed grows wetter and the smoke sweetens towards that caramel, vanilla, and apple.

Bottom Line:

This is the perfect balance of approachable peated whisky and deep Islay flavors that are welcoming to all. Yes, this has deep peated vibes, but those are subtly layered into a bigger idea of this whisky’s orchard notes, creamy sweetness, and honeyed bitterness with a soft briny aura. It all just works, which makes this an essential advanced whisky to have on your bar cart. Plus… you need this around to make Smoky Cokeys — so don’t skip this one.

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A ‘Yellowjackets’-Themed Camp Is Coming To SXSW (Minus The Cannibalism… Hopefully)

If you can’t wait until all your favorite things come back during the same weekend in late March, you should book your ticket to Austin, Texas, now.

Showtime is hosting Camp Yellowjackets, a pop-up experience themed around the hit horror series. It will take place at Fair Market during the first weekend of the South by Southwest festival, from Friday, March 10 to Sunday, March 12. There will be ax throwing, camp activities, and barbecue. Hmm, maybe skip the food, unless organizers claim the succulent meat is from la Barbecue. Then I’m willing to take the chance.

“Camp Yellowjackets is an exclusive, excitingly unsettling, Yellowjackets-themed destination,” said Puja Vohra, executive VP of marketing at Showtime Networks. “It’s been our passion and our privilege to open up the world of this amazing series to viewers everywhere, and we can’t wait for ‘Campers’ to immerse themselves in clues of what really happened out there.”

You can learn more about Camp Yellowjackets here.

Yellowjackets returns for season two on March 26, the same night as the Succession season four premiere — and two days after John Wick: Chapter 4 finally hits theaters. Cancel your plans now, or maybe get killed at Camp Yellowjackets. On one hand, that would free up your schedule. On the other, you’re dead. It’s a real toss up.

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Jonathan Majors, Fresh Off Of Movie Fights With Paul Rudd And Michael B. Jordan, Spills On Who Punches Harder

Michael B. Jordan might have a rigorous exercise routine that includes three hours of hardcore training and a strict diet, but Paul Rudd is friends with the Stay Pufft marshmallow man, so there is one obvious winner here when it comes to who is cooler. But in terms of, you know, real strength and ability, it seems like Jordan and Rudd are both experts in combat!

Both Jordan and Rudd have to battle it out against Jonathan Majors in two very different movies, Creed III and Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania, respectively. This guy has had a really busy year so far. But when it came to the actual fights, Majors was pretty torn between his two opponents. Jordan’s character Creed is a hard-hitting (literally) legendary boxer, while Rudd plays an ant. Their match-up is pretty even, here.

In an interview with NME, the actor was asked who of the two hits harder, and he obviously said the person on everyone’s minds. “I think Paul Rudd hits in softer spots which hurts more.” the Kang actor quipped, before adding, “Mike hits harder. Mike hits hard.” You do not want to be punched in the face by former quarterback Vince Howard.

Even though Jordan might have the speed, agility, and strength, Rudd has that quick wit that only comes with years of practice and failed franchise reboots and appearing in every corny romantic comedy from 2001-2009. He deserves some time to play a little action hero and throws some punches! He only has a few more years before he turns…40…? It’s actually unclear how old he really is.

(Via NME)