Category: Worldwide

Luka Doncic and the Dallas Mavericks dropped their fourth straight game on Sunday in a loss to the Hornets — their second straight loss to Charlotte. With the loss, Dallas is now a full game out of the play-in in the West, sitting in 11th behind the Oklahoma City Thunder, who came back from double digits down to Portland to beat the Blazers on Sunday night.

With just seven games left in the season, time is running out on the Mavs to make a push for the postseason, but their task figured to be even more difficult than expected on Monday night in Indiana after Luka Doncic picked up his 16th technical of the season in the loss to the Hornets, triggering an automatic one-game suspension. After the game, the crew chief from the game explained that Doncic had directed profanity at an official protesting a no-call — which they looked at and confirmed was the correct decision after the game.

Given those comments from the officials, it seemed Doncic’s technical would stand and he would have to serve his suspension on Monday, but the league announced on Monday morning it was rescinding the technical.

That means Doncic will be eligible to play on Monday night in Indiana, rather than having to serve a suspension for picking up his 16th T of the season. There is a fair question of why the technical was rescinded given the explanation of the officials after the game in Charlotte on Sunday, as plenty of players will be wondering if they too can get their T’s taken away for cussing out the refs. Among those is Draymond Green, who couldn’t help but point out how this was funny a week after he served his suspension for a 16th T that was not rescinded.

Doncic’s propensity to get on the officials has become a defining trait of his game, and as such that 16th T and a suspension later this season is unquestionably still in play.

We rank a lot of things around here on Uproxx Life — from jarred marinara to methods of cooking hot dogs and bacon. We’re just trying to make your lives more enjoyable, is all (bad mac & cheese can ruin an afternoon). And now, Despite it having rained for approximately the last 741 days here in California, it’s technically Spring.

Spring theoretically brings warmer weather and warmer weather brings grilling season. You see where I’m going with this? That’s right, I’m here to rank some barbecue sauces.

Ah, but hold your horses, cowboy. If you know anything about the internet, you know that expressing opinions about anything related to “barbecue” (and God help you if you ever refer to “grilling” as “barbecue”) is tantamount to breaking a whiskey bottle over a bar at a crowded saloon and telling the assembled cowpokes that you’re off to go pleasure their mothers unless any of them are man enough to stop you.

Please, fellas, don’t hurt me. I’m just trying to present this here offering to the Sheriff of #Content so that he’ll release my family.

Barbecue is so polarizing partly because there are so many different varieties of barbecue and sauce, and most of them are intensely regional. In terms of sauce, there’s everything from Kansas City-style (molasses, brown sugar), Carolina Gold (mustard-based), “Alabama White” (mayo-based), Lexington Dip (vinegar, red pepper, ketchup), St. Louis (sorta like Kansas City but without smoke), Texas-style (uh… disputed), and… probably about 20 more, depending on who you ask (don’t ask Kevin, you’ll be stuck there 20 minutes).

What We Included:

The sauces you can find at the grocery are largely Kansas City-style, but with about a thousand variations (sugar-free, no sugar added, spicy, bourbon, etc., etc). Meanwhile, more and more labels are branching out into other styles like Carolina Gold and others. That raised the question of what was fair for a test. I didn’t want to be the arbiter of “what’s better, Kansas City or Memphis?” and I had no interest in pitting 12 different varieties of Bullseye or Baby Ray’s against each other.

For this test, I tried to keep the parameters as simple as possible. If the label said “original,” “classic,” or simply “barbecue sauce,” I included it. If it had spice levels, I tried to find a mild or medium. Most other variations I left out. I was trying to compare flagship sauces to flagship sauces, as best as I could. If I left out your favorite, please remember that I did it specifically to spite you, personally.

I ended up with 25 sauces, which does feel like it’s approaching the upper limit of the number of sauces one can taste in a single sitting without getting molasses fever or the sugar leg or whatever. Yes, I made those up, but tasting this many versions of a very similar thing does do strange things to one’s palate.

Methodology:

The matter of whether a barbecue sauce should have smoke flavor or leave that to the meat, along with how sweet it should be, are all highly disputed. There were definitely sauces in this sample that tasted like they were trying to mimic meat flavor and I downgraded them accordingly. There is certainly a difference between a sauce that tastes good and a sauce that tastes good on meat. That being said, there are so many different uses for barbecue sauces, even beyond grilling and barbecuing (I like it on my chicken McNuggets too) that I couldn’t possibly account for them all in a single, fair test. Even speaking solely logistically, I couldn’t taste 25 different sauces on three or four different meats without dying of meat exhaustion halfway through (RIP to your mom, I hear meat exhaustion is how she went, too).

Instead, I went with the old standby for these tests: the squirt and spoon method. I tasted them all plain with a spoon, which certainly has some flaws, but ultimately still seems like the fairest way to do things.

I had my brother-in-law join me for the tasting, both to have another perspective and because he’s a bald guy, so when he starts to sweat from spicy food it’s really noticeable. During our hot sauce test, he had a tea towel wrapped around his head by the end.

The Competitors:

• 365 Original BBQ
• Kinder’s Zero Sugar
• Noh Hawaiian BBQ
• Rufus Teague
• Sweet Baby Ray’s No Sugar Added
• Red Tale Ale
• Best Damn BBQ Sauce (Sweet Lady Love)
• G Hughes Sugar Free Original
• Everett & Jones Super Q
• KC Masterpiece American Original
• Sonoma Ranchers Original
• Charboys Sweet and Tangy
• Noble Made Classic Barbecue
• Kraft Original Barbecue Sauce
• Organicville Original BBQ Sauce
• Trader Joe’s Organic Kansas City Style
• Bull’s Eye Barbecue
• Jack Daniel’s Original BBQ Sauce
• Sweet Baby Ray’s Barbecue Sauce
• Rib Rack BBQ
• Primal Kitchen Classic Organic Unsweetened
• Kinder’s Organic Mild
• Lillie’s Smoky Barbeque Sauce
• Lou Biere Mild BBQ
• Sprouts Organic Bourbon BBQ

The Ranking:

25. Noble Made Classic BBQ (Sample 13)

First Two Ingredients: Water, Apple Cider Vinegar

Price: $9.49 for 13 oz at Whole Foods.

Original Notes:

This one is very red. It has a very apple sauce-esque purée texture, which looks like it’s separating. On the nose, it smells like marinara, with maybe just a hint of brown sugar in there?

Tasting it, this is definitely one of the no sugar added ones. It’s all tomatoes and vinegar. It’s not bad, but definitely hard to compare this to the sweeter ones.

Rating: 3.5/10

Brother In Law’s Notes:

Tart!!! Vinegar like crazy. Just apple cider vinegar. Could see it on ribs over white rice.

Bottom Line: This seems like a “healthy” choice sauce for people watching their sugars and whatnot. I did not particularly enjoy the taste, smell, or texture.

24. Primal Kitchen Organic Unsweetened Classic BBQ Sauce (Sample 21)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Organic Crushed Tomatoes, Organic Balsamic Vinegar.

Price: $6.69 for 8.5 oz at Target.

Original Notes:

This one is also red and very apple saucy, and is separating. On the nose, this one smells like cinnamon, clove, and maybe cardamom. It reminds me a little of Moroccan tagine. Definitely a no-sugar option. I would call this… interesting. It reminds me of Morroccan food, but not really barbecue.

Rating: 3.75

Brother In Law’s Notes: Key lime, Citrus, spice. Forward spice and vinegar finish. All spice.

Bottom Line:

My brother-in-law rated this his fifth favorite sauce, proving that there’s no accounting for taste. It has coriander, cumin, and cinnamon in it, which would account for the Moroccan tagine flavor. It was way too out there for me, I’d say it’s strictly for the Keto weirdos.

23. (Sample 3) Noh’s Hawaiian Bar-B-Q Sauce

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Brown Sugar, Sugar.

Price: $6.89 for 20 oz at Von’s.

Original Notes:

This one is dark brown and more thick and gloppy, looks more like apple sauce. I think I even SMELL apples, though that could just be my eyes playing tricks on me. And of course lots of tomato. Yeah, this one kind of tastes like sweeter apple sauce to me. It’s missing something.

Rating: 4/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Sweet Tomato forward. Tomato paste.

Bottom Line:

This Hawaiian-style sauce simultaneously suffers a bit from being an outlier and lacks anything that would truly distinguish it. It’s tomato-forward and has a lot of the same ingredients as the previous sauce, and is pretty sweet and mildly smoky, but not as sweet or smoky as others.

22. Char Boys Smokey & Tangy BBQ Sauce (Sample 12)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Light Corn Syrup, Molasses.

Price: $9.99 for 18 oz. on Amazon.

Original Notes:

This one is a brown purée. On the nose I get brown sugar and tomato paste, it smells very sweet. On the tongue, it’s a little thin. It’s also definitely sort of one-note sweet, though not necessarily in a bad way. This one doesn’t have a lot going on, but it’s fine.

Rating: 4/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Charred cherries, good.

Bottom Line:

My brother-in-law had this ranked third. To mean it blended into the great amorphous middle section of sauces that weren’t terrible, just sort of shrug-worthy.

21. Sonoma Ranchers Original (Sample 11)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Brown Sugar, Tomato Paste.

Price: N/A

Original Notes:

This one is brown and on the looser side. The nose reminds me of Worcestershire sauce, so vinegar/soy/maybe a hint of fishy funk and black pepper. Tasting it, it reminds me of A1 steak sauce, which I’ve never especially loved.

Yep, this tastes just like A1, with some little chunks in it. Eh.

Rating: 4/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Heavy garlic and grilled tomato with brown sugar. Like it.

Bottom Line:

If you like A1 steak sauce you’ll probably like this one. I don’t especially like that particular variety of tang.

20. Lillie’s Smoky Barbeque Sauce (Sample 23)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Sauce, Brown Sugar, Apple Cider Vinegar.

Price: $6.39 for 21 oz. at Target.

Original Notes:

This sauce is looser and reddish in color, with pepper flecks. Tomato-orange vinegar on the nose. This one is definitely an outlier, it tastes like an orange peppery stir fry sauce. I don’t hate it but it reads more like marinade than barbecue sauce to me.

Rating: 4.1/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Orange Julius. Love it. Sweet. Do it again.

Bottom Line:

This one was heavy on fruit juice followed by black pepper, which to my palate seemed more like a Mongolian BBQ stir fry kind of sauce. Supposedly it’s “Memphis-style.” For me, it didn’t really rate compared to the brown sauces, but it might’ve just been too weird.

19. Best Damn BBQ Sauce — Sweet Lady Love (Sample 7)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Sugar, Tomato Paste.

Price: $6.99 for 20 oz at Target.

Original Notes:

This one is more reddish and syrupy and looks like fast food sweet-and-sour sauce. This one is hard to get anything on the nose, maybe a little vinegar and tomato? It’s barely there. On the tongue it tastes like… orange chicken. Not in a bad way. Just a very specific way. This seems like it’d make a good McNugget sauce.

Rating: 4.4/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Balanced spice. Hint of Hawaiian. Sweet. Orange. Great for a fast food chain.

Bottom Line:

We both got orange from this one, which actually seems to come from pineapple juice and tamarind. More like a tropical fruity option, so it ended up being a bit of an outlier here.

18. Red Tail Ale Original Tangy BBQ Sauce (Sample 6)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Concentrate, Evaporated Cane Juice, and Mustard.

Price: N/A

Original Notes:

This one is one of the darkest, sort of like a grittier ketchup in texture. On the nose, I get molasses, black pepper, and brown sugar, in that order. This one tastes heavy on the fake smoke, with little chunks. I feel like it’s trying to taste like the meat it’s supposed to go on.

Rating: 4.4/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Chunky, more burned oak barrel. Molasses. Not a repeater. Charred.

Bottom Line:

If you like your sauce super smoky, this is the one for you. It was too much smoke flavor for me.

17. Ray’s No Sugar Added Original Barbecue Sauce (Sample 5)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Tomato Paste, Distilled Vinegar.

Price: $3.49 for 18 oz at Target.

Original Notes:

This one is a thick, very homogenous pile, like brown ketchup. The nose is molasses forward, with undertones of tomato paste and black pepper. On the palate this one is very tomatoey and feels like it lacks some complexity.

Rating: 4.5/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Slight smoke. Tomato bisque. Good.

Bottom Line:

With less sugar, there was more room for tomato flavor. The sweetness comes from allulose, “a low-calorie epimer of the monosaccharide sugar fructose, used by some major commercial food and beverage manufacturers as a low-calorie sweetener.”

It did better than I expected the “no sugar added” varieties to do, though not nearly as well as some other no sugar added labels.

16. Kraft Original Barbecue Sauce (Sample 14)

First Three Ingredients: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Tomato Puree, Vinegar.

Price: $1.72 for 18 oz. at Walmart.

Original Notes: Thick, brown, homogenous. On the nose, it’s a smoke-molasses bomb, with some black pepper creeping in. On the palate, this didn’t taste at all like I was expecting from the nose. It’s very A1/Worcestershire flavor, but also sweet.

Rating: 4.5/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Very sweet. Sangria. Did it have a vanilla finish?

Bottom Line:

This one was weirdly complex tasting, though mostly in a cheap processed kind of way.

15. Organicville Original BBQ Sauce (Sample 15)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Organic Agave Nectar, and Organic Tomato Paste.

Price: $4.75 for 14 oz. at Smart & Final.

Original Notes:

This one is brown and pretty thin. On the nose, I get tomato paste and vinegar — standard, but more pronounced here. On the palate, this one is tomato heavy and only medium-sweet, with just a bit of black pepper. Comes on decent but kind of fades into the background without lingering.

Rating: 4.6/10

Brother In Law’s Notes:

Looking for spice that didn’t come. Okay. Apricot? Blah.

Bottom Line:

This one just felt like it lacked identity. The flavors were timid. Part of the fun of a blind taste test is that cheap craft and “fancy” agave nectar sauce can wind up with almost the same ratings.

14. KC Masterpiece Barbecue Sauce (Sample 10)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, High Fructose Corn Syrup, and Molasses.

Price: $1.89 for 18 oz at Target.

Original Notes:

This one is dark and soy saucey, and very homogenous. Fruity-sweet-vinegar on the nose, almost like jelly. On the palate, I get… grape jelly and gatorade plus smoke. Fig! Figs with clove and cinnamon. Actually pretty spicy/peppery on the back end. This one is different, I’m having a hard time knowing how to feel about it.

Rating: 4.6/10.

Brother In Law’s Notes: Great balance. Grape jelly. Smoke. FIG!!!

Bottom Line:

This is one of those OG sauces I would’ve had in my fridge as a kid. It was surprisingly complex for such an old-school sauce, and both my brother-in-law and I went back a few times to try to figure out what we were tasting. Neither of us had it in our top picks though.

13. G. Hughes Sugar-Free Original BBQ Sauce (Sample 8)

First Three Ingredients: Vine Ripened Tomatoes, Cider Vinegar, and Modified Corn Starch.

Price: $5.30 for 18 oz from Smart & Final.

Original Notes:

This one is red and syrupy with some chunks, like sweet chili sauce or sweet and sour sauce. On the nose, I’m getting oranges, pears… maybe canned peaches? On the palate, this is very fruity, with either honey or brown sugar. I like this better than the other Asian sweet and sour tasting one so far.

Rating: 4.75/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Chunks of onion. Definitely Hawaiian flavors. Canned peaches.

Bottom Line:

This one is sweetened with Sucralose, aka Splenda. It’s great if you like the flavor of canned peaches. Otherwise, meh.

12. Rib Rack BBQ Sauce (Sample 20)

First Three Ingredients: Brown Sugar, Tomato Puree, and Distilled Vinegar.

Price: $6.49 for 19 oz from Sprouts.

Original Notes:

Thick, brown, and homogenous. Heavy brown sugar, tomato paste, and molasses on the nose. This tastes ketchupy and cheap. It’s definitely lacking in complexity compared to a lot of them, kind of a sugar bomb.

Rating: 4.75/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Heavy molasses. Cherry finish. Mid-spice that ends. Good.

Bottom Line:

This tasted how I imagined most grocery store barbecue sauce would taste — sugary and cheap.

11. Bull’s Eye BBQ Sauce (Sample 17)

First Three Ingredients: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Tomato Puree, and Vinegar.

Price: $1.87 for 10.7 oz. from Walmart.

Original Notes:

Reddish brown and medium thick and homogenous-looking. I’m getting mostly tomato paste and apple cider vinegar on the nose. Those flavors are thinner on the tongue, now I’m getting smoke and pepper, with a medium spice level. There’s an earthy spice in there that I don’t know how to define, maybe like turmeric. It didn’t taste the way I expected it to but it’s growing on me. Making me sweat.

Rating: 4.75/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Smokey black pepper nose. Orange soda flavor. Prunes? Good vinegar balance. Good.

Bottom Line:

This one was definitely in my refrigerator growing up. Of course, the first ingredient is high fructose corn syrup, I think that was a food group back then. It was spicier than I remembered and otherwise fine-not-great.

10. Sprouts Organic Bourbon BBQ Sauce (Sample 25)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Organic Tomato Paste, Organic Sugar.

Price: $3.99 for 19 oz from Sprouts.

Original Notes:

This one is reddish and is separating a lot. Looks and smells very ketchupy. Tastes like sweet ketchup with a healthy kick of black pepper.

Rating: 4.8/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Sweet and sour. Pineapple and sweet chili. Canned Tomato soup finish. Good.

Bottom Line:

Our notes were sort of all over the place for this one, which tends to happen when you taste 25 barbecue sauces in a sitting. However, we both found it overly tomatoey in a cheap-tasting way. Neither of us got bourbon at all.

9. Rufus Teague (Sample 4)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Sugar, Brown Sugar.

Price: $7.49 for 15.25 oz from RufusTeague.

Original Notes:

Very dark brown, very vinegar-forward on the nose, with pepper and smoke sneaking in there. On the palate, this one definitely has a soy flavor to it, plus a vinegar tang and a moderate amount of spice. Something fruity in there as well, like a pear flavor. This one feels like it would make good beef short rib sauce. Lots of heat and pepper on the back end.

Rating: 5/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Sriracha spice. Garlic. Heavy spice at the end. Great. Try this one again.

Bottom Line:

We both mostly liked this one, which has a few “unusual” ingredients, like Tamari soy sauce and chipotle pepper. My brother-in-law had it ranked third. It was definitely spicy and complex, and at the very least comes in one of the cooler bottles.

8. Jack Daniel’s Original BBQ Sauce (Sample 18)

First Three Ingredients: Cane Sugar, Water, Apple Cider Vinegar.

Price: $4.73 for 19.5 oz. from WalMart.

Original Notes:

Dark brown and on the thinner side, very homogenous. Sort of syrupy. This one smells the way I imagine store-bought bbq sauce would. Molasses and brown sugar. On the palate, sugar city! Sheesh, that’s like hummingbird feed. Maybe a dark cherry flavor in there? Too sweet for my blood, but good.

Rating: 5/10.

Brother In Law’s Notes: Rich dark cherry. Very good. Zinfandel. #1 with a bullet. Kool-Aid.

Bottom Line:

This one is great if you like a really sweet sauce. I have a lower sugar limit, though I still thought it was pretty good. If you asked me to describe the dominant flavors of Jack Daniels, I would also say cherry coke, so it clearly does a good job tasting like what it’s supposed to. My brother-in-law’s number one.

7. 365 Original BBQ (Sample 1)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Brown Sugar, Molasses.

Price: $1.89 for 19.5 oz. from Whole Foods.

Original Notes:

Reddish with some speckles, looks like sweet and sour sauce. Smells like straight smoke on the nose. On the tongue, it’s mostly brown sugar and black pepper, maybe some orange peel. Pretty solid middle-of-the-road option.

Rating: 5/10.

Brother In Law’s Notes: Sweet. Pineapple and golden raisins. Reddish color. Seems Hawaiian. Solid. Revisit.

Bottom Line:

This one definitely has a more sweet-and-sour sauce character to it. Otherwise, it’s fine but not particularly memorable.

6. Sweet Baby Ray’s Barbecue Sauce (Sample 19)

First Three Ingredients: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Distilled Vinegar, and Tomato Paste.

Price: $2.39 for 18 oz at Target.

Original Notes:

Very homogenous and brown. Can barely smell this one at all, just a little tomato paste/molasses. This is pretty sweet, not super smoky with just a hint of pepper. Very cheap tasting but good. Reminds me of McDonald’s BBQ sauce (which is my favorite nugget dip).

Rating: 5.35/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Lemon peel. Pepper. Balanced sweetness.

Bottom Line:

This is an OG and I usually have a bottle of it laying around the house. It’s sort of the cheap, processed-tasting thing you know.

5. Loubier Mild BBQ Sauce — Mild (Sample 24)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Water, Brown Sugar.

Price: $7.49 for 14.8 oz. on Instacart.

Original Notes:

Brown and a little loose, starting to separate a little. Brown sugar and tomato paste on the nose, in that order. This is thin and sweet, but has a nice umami roundness to it, like there’s maybe just a hint of soy. Solid.

Rating: 5.45/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Dr. Pepper. Carrots? Good. Minimal smoke. Bitter. Very good.

Bottom Line:

My brother-in-law had this as his number two, but we both liked it. It has Worcestershire, tamarind, and chili powder in there, which would account for the complexity.

4. Trader Joe’s Organic Kansas City-Style Barbecue Sauce (Sample 16)

First Three Ingredients: Organic Tomato Puree, Organic Cane Sugar, and Organic Brown Sugar.

Price: $2.99 for 19 oz at Trader Joe’s.

Original Notes:

This one is gloppy and starting to separate, a darker brown and reddish color. Tomatoes and vinegar on the nose, very bright. On the palate, it’s sort of bright and sweet, leaving the smoke flavor to the meat. It’s very brown sugar-forward and sweet, but I like it. A little black pepper hits you in the throat on the finish. I went back for more, for whatever that’s worth.

Rating: 5.8/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Orange peel. Balanced smoke. Try again.

Bottom Line:

Most of these sauces were really similar and I was splitting hairs to try to rank them — as you can tell by the decimal-heavy rankings I was handing out. This is where we start getting into the “noticeably a little better” section of the rankings.

3. Everett & Jones Super Q Barbeque Sauce (Sample 9)

First Three Ingredients: Water, Tomato Paste, Brown Sugar.

Price: $6.49 for 18 oz. at Von’s.

Original Notes:

This one is darker and soy-saucy-looking, with a slight reddish tint. Looks like a watery purée. On the nose, very smokey, with some molasses and black pepper. The smell reminds me of brisket. On the nose, it’s that same brisket essence plus sweet and heavy spice on the back end. Maybe the heaviest on the black pepper so far. This sauce is very much for beef.

I don’t think I would use this on pork. Chicken? Yes.

Rating: 6/10.

Brother In Law’s Notes: Blackberry. Long wait for the spice, but it comes. Molasses. Heavy black pepper.

Bottom Line:

I know I said I wasn’t going to reward the sauces that tried to taste like the meat, but this one tasted exactly like brisket and I couldn’t help liking it.

2. Kinder’s Zero Sugar BBQ Sauce — Original (Sample 2)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Puree, Allulose, Natural Smoke Flavor.

Price: $8.49 for 17.5 oz at Von’s.

Original Notes:

This one is a reddish brown, sort of a loose syrup texture. Something deeper and umami on the nose, like soy sauce in addition to the smoke. This one is complex and spicy, I’m getting pepper and chili in addition to the sweet. Texture is maybe a smidge too watery, but very tasty, if you want a spicier option.

Rating: 6.5/10

Brother In Law’s Notes: Spicy. Grape jelly. And Kool-Aid. Spice forward.

Bottom Line:

I don’t think I’ve ever had Kinder before so I didn’t expect to have it this high, let alone the fake sugar version. The only thing that jumps out at me on the ingredients list is roasted garlic and chipotle, which is pretty much my go-to combo for rib sauce, which may explain some things. My brother-in-law didn’t have it in his top five.

1. Kinder’s Organic BBC Sauce – Mild (Sample 22)

First Three Ingredients: Tomato Purée, Brown Sugar, Sugar.

Price: $2.78 for 20.5 oz at WalMart.

Original Notes:

This one brown is thin, homogenous, and… weirdly hard to get on a spoon. Is it sticking to the cutting board? I don’t know. Super smoky and peppery on the nose. On the tongue, it’s mostly brown sugar and molasses that balances out all the smoke and pepper smell. This is very traditional and definitely very sweet, but the balance feels just right.

Rating: 6.6

Brother In Law’s Notes: Pomegranates. Really good.

Bottom Line:

I was shocked that two Kinder labels ended up in my top two, since other than seeing the bottles, I don’t believe I’ve ever had it before. This one also doesn’t have roasted garlic and chipotle in the ingredients, which the no-sugar version did, so my theory there is all shot to hell.

As you can tell by the final rating, none of these really sent me over the moon. Most were average, with a couple slightly above average.

Addendum:

My Brother In Law’s Top Five:

1. Jack Daniel’s
2. Loubier
3. Rufus Teague
4. CharBoy’s
5. Primal Kitchen Classic

After absolutely dominating 2022 with her Mariah Carey-sampling dance hit “Big Energy,” Latto looks to expand her burgeoning empire in 2023. Her latest move (which looks… familiar) is partnering with Apple Music Radio for her own show, 777 Radio. Latto announced the show’s impending debut with a slick video trailer depicting her as a flight attendant giving an announcement. “Welcome aboard 777 Air,” she says. “Make sure to put the BS on airplane mode and leave all your baggage at home.”

The similarity of concepts between Latto’s show — which has been in development for a year, according to one contributor’s tweet — and another former Apple Music production quickly caught fans’ eyes, leading to a flurry of comments comparing and contrasting the two (if anything, it might explain the roots of their conflict given the timeline). Meanwhile, some others attributed Latto’s flight attendant look to Saweetie’s “Closer” video with HER (which, if those fans were being honest, they kinda let flop. Funny to get angry about it now, especially after they cooked Saweetie for doing the same alleged thing to Rico Nasty just like two years ago).

Still, other fans noted that Lil Kim preceded many of her successors into the radio space, trying to short-circuit the inevitable stan war brewing on the horizon. It didn’t work — when have stans ever been convinced by piddling things like facts? — but you have to appreciate the effort.

The first episode of 777 Radio will debut Thursday, March 30 at 11 AM PT on Apple Music with guest Chloe Bailey — another frequent target of controversy from Stan Twitter. Tune in.

A couple weeks ago, it was revealed that Lil Yachty will be the musical guest on the April 1 episode of Saturday Night Live, joining the program alongside host Quinta Brunson. Now, SNL has offered a clearer look at what their April slate will look like by unveiling more upcoming musical guests. Today, they revealed that Molly Shannon and Jonas Brothers are set for the April 8 episode, while Ana de Armas and Karol G are gearing up for April 15.

The upcoming episodes will mark the debut appearances of Brunson, de Armas, Karol G, and Lil Yachty. Shannon, of course, was an SNL cast member from 1995 to 2001 and also hosted an episode in 2007. Meanwhile, Jonas Brothers previously performed on the show in 2009 and 2019.

Karol G is fresh off the February release of her album Mañana Será Bonito, her first No. 1 album in the US (and the first all-Spanish-language album by a woman to ever top the Billboard 200). She’s also one of this year’s Lollapalooza headliners.

Meanwhile, Jonas Brothers are in the midst of continuing their comeback that started with their No. 1 2019 album Happiness Begins. Their sixth album, dubbed The Album, is set for May 12, and the trio just played a five-night Broadway residency earlier this month. They also recently recruited superfan and White Lotus favorite Haley Lu Richardson to star in their “Wings” video.

Gwyneth Paltrow delivered a viral quote for the ages while testifying in court. The actress-slash-wellness guru, who’s been serving up cozy winter looks during the proceedings, took the stand to describe her experience during the ski accident that’s prompted back and forth lawsuits.

Optometrist Terry Sanderson is suing Paltrow for allegedly crashing into him at a Park City ski resort and causing several injuries before fleeing the scene in what he calls a “hit and run.” In response, Paltrow is counter-suing Sanderson for one dollar and legal fees. She claims that it was the retired optometrist who crashed into her from behind, and during cross-examination, Paltrow said she initially thought the incident was a sexual assault.

Via Page Six:

“Was he grinding or thrusting?” [Sanderson’s attorney] asked. “What made you think it was a sexual assault?”

Paltrow simply said that “it was a quick thought that went through my head,” adding, “There was a strange grunting noise and a body behind me so I was trying to make sense of what was going on. My mind was going very quickly.”

However, once it was determined that Paltrow was not being sexually assaulted, Sanderson’s attorney asked what “losses” she experienced because of the collision, and a viral hit was born.

“Well, we lost half a day of skiing,” Paltrow responded via The Independent.

Thanks to a viral clip of Paltrow’s response, people started having a field day with the response, and even Busy Philipps got in on the act. The actress posted an Instagram photo of her and a friend holding espresso martinis with the caption, “Well, we lost a half day of skiing.”

Meanwhile, folks had a field day on Twitter. You can see some of the reactions below:

(Via Busy Philipps on Instagram, The Independent)

Dare I say that there’s still time for you to bingewatch the entirety of AMC’s existing The Walking Dead universe if you have somehow remained immune to Walkers for all this time? If you get started now — and tear through 11 seasons of The Walking Dead (on Netflix), 2 seasons of The Walking Dead: The World Beyond (on AMC+), and the 7 Fear The Walking Dead (on Hulu) seasons thus far — there is no reason why you won’t be prepared for the May 14 return of Fear The Walking Dead.

Then there’s the June 18 premiere of The Walking Dead: Dead City, in which unlikely partners Maggie (Lauren Cohan) and Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) venture into New York City.

That premiere date is official as of this past weekend, and the show has dropped a first bit of footage as a teaser ^^ that confirms the mission: to rescue Maggie and Glenn’s son, Hershel Rhee, who (as Comic Book relays) is at least 12 years old at this point. How did he end up in NYC? No clue yet, but let’s just say that cities remain a bad idea, long after Rick Grimes took his first franchise joyride on a horse.

As Negan declares, “Walkers are falling from the sky,” which does not sound like a good time at all. As well, showrunner Eli Jorne has also boldly promised to unleash “one of the most awesome, disgusting, terrifying walkers that I’ve seen in the history of the show.”

The show’s synopsis points towards definite trouble in “a post-apocalyptic Manhattan, long ago cut off from the mainland.” In this “crumbling city,” there will be a special breed of “anarchy, danger, beauty, and terror.”

Following this limited series, we’ll see Daryl Dixon will wash ashore in his own France-based spinoff, and then we will eventually see Rick Grimes and Michonne reunite and get bloody in their own return to the franchise.

Additionally, AMC released the first railer for the eighth and final Fear the Walking Dead season (back on AMC in time for Mother’s Day), which picks up with Morgan and Madison feeling demoralized on the island, and only Mo (daughter to Morgan) can possibly make this “a better world” one day.

Fear the Walking Dead returns on May 14; Dead City premieres on June 18.

Kendrick Lamar might have completed his Top Dawg Entertainment record deal, but TDE isn’t done yet. If anything, it looks like the Southern California-based label will be doubling down on its remaining roster and increasing its album release cadence this year. Top Dawg himself revealed as much today on Twitter during a fan Q&A that found him addressing everything from a potential Black Hippy project to which of the label’s artists have tours planned this year.

When one fan asked which albums are on the docket, Top Dawg reeled off a list including new acquisitions like Doechii, Ray Vaughn, and Reason, as well as longtime mainstays Jay Rock, Schoolboy Q, and Zacari. However, he also mentioned a condition that needs to be met: “if everybody do their part,” he wrote. “when they turn them in I will release em.”

We’ve seen that process take upwards of four years — just look at Ab-Soul’s last project, as well as Isaiah Rashad’s and SZA’s — but even so, that gives TDE fans plenty to look forward to in 2023. Some of the roster’s newer additions could use the extra exposure and momentum from a potential compilation, while the veteran members’ fans have been waiting a while to hear from them (Jay Rock’s last album, Redemption, was in 2018; Q’s was 2019’s Crash Talk).

In a strange turn of events, Logan Roy’s biggest adversary in Succession’s season four premiere isn’t one of his three conniving children but a Martha Vineyard-dwelling girl boss with a taste for cheap wine and “an appalling headache” she’s managing to push through in order to squeeze the Roy dynasty of every last cent.

Everyone, meet Nan Pierce (Cherry Jones).

Actually, scratch that. We’ve already met Nan Pierce. She was the high-powered matriarch of another legacy media company, PGM, that caught Logan Roy’s eye back in season two. PGM, like Waystar-Royco, is a family-owned company that’s in direct competition with the Roy’s empire but it’s got a more liberal bent which makes it particularly appealing for acquisition. By buying up PGM, the Roys will essentially be taking out the biggest threat to their continued dominance over the airwaves. (Also, Logan just really hates the pretentious, WASPy f*cks that nickname their palatial estate Tern Haven the “city on a hill.”)

But why is Nan such a thorn in Logan Roy’s side?

Who Is Nan Pierce?

Like Logan, Nan Pierce is in charge of her family’s media company, Pierce Global Media. She’s a blue-blooded, old-money elite in New England coastal linens who’s every bit as rich and removed as her boorish adversary — she’s just better at camouflaging her upper-crust upbringing. In season two, Nan entertains the idea of selling PGM to Waystar Royco, using PGM’s CEO Rhea Jarrell (Holly Hunter) as an intermediary to launch negotiations. She invites the Roys to her family’s estate, uncomfortably probing Logan on who his successor might be and making it fairly obvious how much she distains Waystar Royco’s values.

Nan seems to favor Shiv above the other Roy siblings but when Logan refuses to name his daughter as the company’s next CEO, negotiations stall. Things further deteriorate when hit pieces about the company’s attempts to cover up crimes in its cruises department run during a global tech conference that was intended to be the neutral ground for Nan and Logan to revisit their acquisition talks. Since firing Jarrell and cutting communications with the Roys, Nan and company have been pretty quiet — until Succession’s season four premiere, that is.

Why Is Nan Pierce So Important To The Roys?

Succession returned for its final run with a birthday party from hell and a hostile asset takeover by the Roy siblings. Before officially selling his company, Logan wanted to buy out PGM to make sure Waystar-Royco had a firm grip on the market. To screw over their old man, Kendall, Roman, and Shiv abandoned their plans to create a new media company and instead, bid on PGM themselves. They visited Nan Pierce at her place on Martha’s Vineyard and promised billions in exchange for Nan’s company — which they eventually purchased for way over asking price, to the disbelief and disgust of their father.

Thanks to Nan — who managed to bankrupt the Roy siblings and ensure her lifelong enemy couldn’t get his hands on her family’s legacy — Kendall, Shiv, and Roman are now positioned as the co-CEOs of Waystar-Royco’s biggest market competitor. Their plan is to make their father’s life as miserable as possible, likely by building PGM into an organization that steals money and viewers from ATN. Whether they’ll ultimately be successful with their very expensive f*ck you is still in doubt, but either way, Nan Pierce will stay winning.

Sebastian Lletget is coming clean after being caught in the middle of an affair. In a post shared to his Instagram account, Lletget apologized to his fiancée, singer Becky G, for his infidelity.

Amid the scandal, the FC Dallas midfielder revealed he will be attending a mental wellness program. “If I am the man I aspire to be, I have to do better,” he wrote.

While Becky has not publicly commented on the matter, Lletget says he is working on earning the “Mamiii” singer’s trust back.

“Instead of honoring that love every day, I have done the opposite, hurting you, and disrespecting the one person I love more than anything,” he said.

Find the full statement below.

“As an athlete I have always tried to hold myself to a higher standard, recognizing the blessings & privileges in my career. When I reflect on the last 7 years of my life, I know in my heart that I couldn’t have achieved a lot of my personal & professional growth, let alone navigate the challenges in my life without the love & support of Becky by my side.

Yet behind this abundance, there is a reality I’ve hid from everyone around me. I have struggled with personal trauma and acute anxiety compounded by my own denial, pride, and bad decisions.

Over the last several weeks, during a moment I regret deeply, a 10-minute lapse in judgment resulted in an extortion plot. Since this person did not get what they wanted it has now become a public social media spectacle filled with more lies than any truth and false posts aimed at the love of my life, the one person I should never take for granted or put at risk. While this anonymous stalker — who I never met, unlike they claimed — had an ultimate goal that was not clear, for me, it has been a wake-up call. The loudest alarm of my life. I can’t keep running from demons. I know that any actions made that put us here should have never happened to begin with. Pushing right up to the very boundaries of lines that should never be crossed only hurts me and the people I love the most.

This past week of chaos & pain has forced me to face the consequences of my actions, my fears & my lapses from the past. [I] have half-heartedly been participating in therapy knowing I have deeply rooted anger and mental health issues that require the same commitment and treatment that I devote to my physical well-being. If I am the man I aspire to be, I have to do better. I have decided to commit myself to a mental wellness program to work on the parts of me that deeply need healing…

To Becky, you have been the light in my life, my strength, who has always shown me unconditional love. Instead of honoring that love every day, I have done the opposite, hurting you, and disrespecting the one person I love more than anything. I am so sorry and know I have to do whatever it takes to earn back the trust and love you deserve.

To my FC Dallas family, my fans, friends & family, thank you for your love and support. I will do my best to be my best.”

For the first time since 2005, WWE is bringing the Showcase of the Immortals back to Hollywood this weekend. As WrestleMania goes Hollywood again, the promotion has rolled out a series of vignettes, taking a WWE-style spin on cult entertainment similar to what they did for WrestleMania 21.

After rolling out The Miz and Maryse in Top Gun and Rhea Ripley in Stranger Things, Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns, the Bloodline, and their wise man, Paul Heyman, joined together to put their twist on Goodfellas in a trailer that will debut during tonight’s episode of Raw. Check out a first look of that vignette below:

In the build to WrestleMania 21, WWE produced a series of parodies with stars like John Cena starring in A Few Good Men, Triple H in Braveheart, and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin in Gladiator among others.

Both nights of WrestleMania 39 will take place from SoFi Stadium in Inglewood, California, on April 1 and April 2. Three of the four members of the Bloodline will be featured prominently at the show, with The Usos defending their Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships against a recently reunited Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. Reigns will also defend his Undisputed WWE Universal Championship against Royal Rumble winner Cody Rhodes in what’s expected to headline one of the two nights.