A dad who goes by @sergey.be.be on TikTok reached out to viewers in hopes of better navigating a perpetual argument with his wife.
In the clip, he shared that his wife is “frequently offended” that he seeks advice from his mother on how to raise their daughter. But since his mom has had “experience raising three children” compared to his wife’s first time at motherhood, he “tends to trust” mom’s advice more.
Unsurprisingly, this has led to frequent quarrels, and has persisted after the baby was born.
The dad went on to explain that, unlike his mother, his wife “insists she knows everything, suggesting we can always look things up on Google if needed.”
He then offered this example: “when I inquired about swaddling for our newborn, my mother recommended swaddling with straightened legs because if you don’t swaddle your baby, his legs will be crooked, while my wife disagreed, saying it was a thing of the past.”
@sergey.be.be My wife is frequently offended when I seek advice from my mother regarding raising our daughter. Our differing opinions have led to frequent quarrels. How can I navigate this situation? #newborn #momanddaughter #baby #babylove ♬ Surrender – Natalie Taylor
Well, not taking sides here, but a quick Google search does in fact list several resources which state that straight-leg swaddling is, in fact, not recommended, and considered potentially harmful. So it’s understandable that this man’s wife might be frustrated that her husband actively chooses his mother’s objectively inaccurate opinion over her own research.
Viewers unanimously agreed with this sentiment, though the responses ranged somewhere between gentle and brutally blunt.
“I guess he is TRYING to get divorced,” one person wrote.
Another quipped, “You should marry your mom 💕 hope this helps!”
Others tried to help illuminate the wife’s point of view, and point out why this husband’s action might be so upsetting.
“Your wife probably did HOURs, DAYS MONTHS of researching the current safe ways of doing things,” one person argued. “If you aren’t’ going to trust her, at least ask to read what she’s reading so you can get insight. Then, if after reading you still have doubts, talk to your wife. Do not bring up your mom’s opinion.”
Another reasoned, “that’s like her asking her dad how you should be a father.”
Professionals also weighed in. A NICU nurse wrote, “things have changed in the last 3 years alone. Your mother doesn’t know. This is the woman you chose, learn and grow with her.”
And finally, I think this warning from a couples therapist really sums it all up: “prioritize your new family over your old family.”
If this man was indeed seeking advice (and not justification for his actions) then he certainly got what he asked for. Either way, the conversation can hopefully help put things into perspective for others.
