Every once in a long while, a whiskey comes around that feels essential. A dram you have to be able to discuss with expertise if you want to call yourself “in the know.” But also something that is so deeply enjoyable and full of classic notes that it draws you in. Approachable. Michter’s has a knack for nailing that feeling with many of its releases. Their Michter’s 10-year Bourbon and Michter’s 10-year Rye drops are much-beloved and sought after because they’re prime examples of how good those styles of whiskey can be. Michter’s 20-year Bourbon was our favorite bourbon of 2022 and we were not alone in that take.
This year, the team at Michter’s did it again with the release of their much-anticipated Celebration Sour Mash, which I can assure you will be on nearly every “best of” whiskey lists come November and December of this year.
Not long ago, I was lucky enough to get an invitation to Michter’s Kentucky distillery in Shivley to taste the latest edition of Michter’s Celebration Sour Mash with Michter’s Master Distiller Dan McKee. It was a quiet and enlightening experience. Dan and I sat and chatted about whiskey while he presented the bottle and I sipped the whiskey. We talked through nose notes, palate notes, and the feeling you get from the whiskey. Spoiler Alert — it’s freaking delicious.
Then we spoke about something deeper. After all these years of tasting thousands of whiskeys, I’ve noticed one throughline that arises in all great whiskeys. Passion. The truly great whiskeys have truly passionate people making them. There’s a sense of depth and care that comes through in the profile — nose, taste, finish, and feeling — that speaks to something more than just an average pour. And that’s created by the people who make the whiskey caring so deeply about the product — in every step of its lifecycle — that it just… as if through alchemy or osmosis… makes the whiskey fundamentally better.
Look, the first half of whiskey making — the grain malting, the fermentation, the distilling — is heavy science. It’s following recipes that the whiskey makers (hopefully) know work for that they want to make. There is nuance in this step, of course. But then that whiskey goes into a barrel and is stacked in a warehouse somewhere. And that’s where something more mystical happens. Microorganisms, local ecosystems, atmosphere, weather, evaporation, and a million other factors take over and can create two completely different whiskeys inside two barrels that sat right next to each other and were filled moments apart with the exact same base spirit coming off the stills.
This stage is where passionate people come in. People like Dan McKee and Andrea Wilson — Dan’s partner at Michter’s and their Whiskey Hall of Fame Master of Maturation. Dan and Andrea have decades of experience between them and they care deeply about what they put their names on. That level of knowledge and care manifests in the bottle and every drop that hits your senses when poured. It is in that level of care and craft that people like Dan McKee and Andrea Wilson are able to create a whiskey that truly transcends the ordinary and becomes something more.
There’s a point to my sermonizing…
Often with whiskey at this level, people ask “how could it possibly be worth that price?” That’s fair. We are talking about a grain spirit that’s left in a barrel and then mixed into a bottle. That sounds basic because… it is. But the quality of the juice in that bottle is where things go beyond what’s basic into something less tangible, at least at first. But one sip in and you feel the quality that comes from the people behind the scenes who are constantly testing, pushing boundaries, experimenting, and questioning everything that is in a single barrel of whiskey and then doing that again and again and again until they create something bigger and better than any of its individual parts.
That’s what goes into a whiskey like Michter’s Celebration Sour Mash. Days turn into weeks that turn into months and years of fretting and perfecting a whiskey like this from a scant few barrels that actually meet the sky-high demands of people like Dan McKee and Andrea Wilson. And all of that — a true sense of care and love by a few stone-cold experts — is what presents on the nose, palate, and finish of a whiskey like this. Truly. I absolutely believe there should be a flavor note called “love.”
When love is there, a question like “how could it possibly be worth that price?” feels almost … meaningless. How could it not — after all that pain and effort of creating this expression — be worth it? After all, once the bottles of this one are gone, we’ll never see something exactly like this ever again. It’s a moment of whiskey captured in a few bottles that we get to experience.
That’s damn near priceless. Now, let me get off my soapbox and read my review…
Zach Johnston
Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of The Last Six Months
The fourth ever Michter’s Celebration release — and the first one since 2019 — was released in February 2023 after a slight delay. This American whiskey is a collaboration between Michter’s Master Distiller Dan McKee and Master of Maturation Andrea Wilson. The duo chose seven whiskey barrels for this special blend that ranged from 12 to 30+ years old. Those barrels were batched and bottled without any cutting with water, creating only 328 bottles for the whole world.
Tasting Notes:
Nose: The nose subtly opens with a sense of dark chocolate cut with brown butter, Saigon cinnamon bark, and a light note of crème brûlée made with just a drop of cognac and a hint of old champagne cellars.
Palate: That boozy vanilla opens the luxurious palate toward a dusting of winter spices — clove, anise, nutmeg — next to stewed peached and burnt orange over singed marshmallows, old smoldering hickory, and orchards full of falling leaves next to whisper of creamy black cherry and candied pecans.
Finish: Those pecans meld with woody maple syrup, more cinnamon bark, orange-studded cloves, and a sense of bushels of orchard fruits mixed with nuts and dried fruits in an old wooden basket and wrapped with thick old twine and leather next to a spiced chocolate-cherry tobacco leaf dropped in the middle of it all.
The Presentation:
The latest Celebration Sour Mash comes in a tailor-made box that reveals a beautiful bottle of whiskey inside. There’s a small drawer with a personalized note at the bottom. The whole thing is luxe to the max and very plush.
How To Buy Michter’s Celebration Sour Mash 2022?
This is an extremely heavily allocated bottle of whiskey. That means only the biggest and best clients of Michter’s have received bottles. That includes bars, restaurants, some very high-end liquor stores, and a few state-run liquor stores.
Your best bet to actually try this is to buy a pour at the Fort Nelson Michter’s Distillery on Whiskey Row in Lousiville, Kentucky. State-run liquor stores will sell these via a lottery only. Otherwise, you’re just going to have to know someone (or pay dearly for it on the secondary market).
Bottom Line:
This is an excellent American whiskey. It’s the sort of whiskey that you enjoy slowly over a good conversation. It slowly blooms in the glass as it rests in the open air and with the steady addition of drops of water. The nose, palate, and finish just keeps going deeper and deeper.
All of that said, this is a bottle you get for the vault as an investment or for showing off during the biggest occasion(s) of your life.
Ranking:
99/100 — This is as close to perfection as any American whiskey can get both in flavor/profile and in presentation.
After a promising 2022 with her hit single “Mamiii” and acclaimed album, Esquemas, Becky G is keeping fans fed with new music. Today (March 10), she has shared a new single called “Arranca,” which features Dominican singer Omega.
On her new song, Becky has had it with an inconsistent man who keeps trying to work his way back into her life.
“¿A ti qué te pasa? ¿Pare qué estás llamando? / Sin mí la estás pasando bien, pero no tanto / Ya tu falso amor no va a joderme otro verano
Ponte las llantas y arranca para el carajo, ja, arranca,” sings Becky on the song’s chorus, which translates to, “What’s wrong with you? / Why are you calling me / Without me you’re having fun, but not so much / Your false love is not going to f*ck me over for another summer /
Put on the tires and go to hell.”
On Omega’s verse, he insists he is contrite with what he’s done, singing, “Que aunque yo soy un infiel / El que se va para el carajo es él
Yo sé que te quillas y que te llenas de odio / Por eso es que tú te vas con otro,” which in English means, “Although I’ve cheated /
The cheater goes to hell / and I know that it kills you and that it fills you with hate / That’s why you leave with another man.”
In the accompanying visual, she is seen singing and dancing in the ocean, as two young ladies pay homage to Dominican culture by dancing the heartache away in Boca Chica.
Rae Sremmurd, the brotherly rap duo from Tupelo, Mississippi, is back with another new single from their newly announced album, Sremm 4 Life. It’s called “Tanisha (Pump That),” and it’s an upbeat, pulsating club song — think the Miami bass-style R&B of Ghost Town DJs’ “My Boo” — and finds the Brown boys admiring a special young lady at the function and encouraging her to “poke it out” before offering to “take you on a private vacation.”
The song is produced by the Ear Drummers’ longtime collaborator Mike Will Made-It, who co-produced alongside veteran hitmaker Pharrell Williams. On Twitter, Mike Will promised that “Ear Drummer Summer is loading,” which is a welcome relief for those fans who’ve had to wait almost five years for a follow-up to Swae Lee and Slim Jxmmi’s last album, 2018’s SR3MM.
Fun fact : I worked with my brother @Pharrell on @RaeSremmurd new single dropping tonight… Big ol
Ahead of announcing the release date for Sremm 4 Life, the sibling act shared a string of singles that included “Denial,” “Torpedo,” and “Sucka Or Sum,” displaying their usual well-worn chemistry. Earlier this week, they also showed off the album’s cover artwork, which continues their tradition of minimalist covers while updating it to show off their style.
Listen to “Tanisha (Pump That)” above.
Sremm 4 Life is due April 7 on Ear Drummers / Interscope. Get more info here.
Florence Pugh doesn’t seem like a too-serious or intense person offscreen. She’s a joy to behold in her cooking videos, and she won’t take garbage over any freeing of the nipple. The Oscar nominee also keeps a healthy attitude about the circus around her, even when that includes ending up in a movie that stirs up more behind-the-scenes drama than attention devoted to the film itself.
Florence is currently promoting A Good Person, directed by ex-partner Zach Braff, who wrote the lead role with her in mind. It’s a heavy film, given that Miss Flo‘s character becomes addicted to opioids following a tragic car accident. Variety reports upon a Q&A screening from London, where Florence declared, “[R]eading something that is dedicated for you written by someone who knows you so well is a wonderful gift.” Granted, Braff wrote the project during a particularly intense grieving period, not too long after deaths in his family, followed by the Covid-induced demise of friend Nick Cordero.
When quizzed about whether Florence felt odd to have such a dark role written with her in mind, her answer indicated that she was actually flattered. Besides, these complicated roles are right up her alley, and she’s up for the challenge:
“It’s no secret that I only pick very intense roles. This isn’t the first time I’ve been reduced to tears pretty much every single scene that I’ve been in. I like finding the ugliness in humans. I love being raw. I love being given a script where it challenges myself and I have never picked a role unless I’ve been scared of it. And this is someone that knew me, knew my potential and wanted to work with me. I think it would have been strange if he wrote a Nancy Meyers thing for me to be like, ‘So… you’re not going to cry in this movie.’ I’d be like, ‘Oh God!’”
In other words, don’t expect Florence Pugh to pull off a string of romcoms. It also sounds like we won’t see her make a JLaw-style pitstop into raunchy romcom territory, which probably feels like a nice change of pace for Jennifer Lawrence, who also tends to gravitate towards intense parts. However, Florence sounds like she’s completely happy where she’s at, and audiences are satisfied to see her there.
With John Wick: Chapter 4 locked and loaded for theaters, Keanu Reeves is making the promotional rounds and opening up about everything from his thoughts on artificial intelligence to dream projects that the actor would love to star in. Apparently, the screen legend would totally be open to a guest spot on the hit TV series, Yellowstone, which has set Hollywood on a mad scramble to tap into the renewed interest in Westerns.
When asked about starring in the burgeoning Taylor Sheridan universe, Reeves sounded ecstatic at the thought. Via Parade:
“Would you ever be interested in a surprise role in something like ‘Yellowstone?’ I would love to see you in something like that,” ET Canada‘s Keshia Chanté asked The Matrix alum.
“I’d love to do a Western!” Reeves enthusiastically responded, adding, “So yeah! Yeah, sure!”
With Yellowstone reportedly having some behind-the-scenes drama with Kevin Costner, who could be exiting the flagship series way ahead of schedule, Sheridan might want to give Keanu a call.
On top of dreams of starring in a Western, there’s one other genre that Reeves would love to tackle: A musical. The actor made the revelation during a recent Reddit AMA where he was completely honest about his singing abilities.
“I would love to be in a musical,” Reeves posted, “But I can’t sing so I’m not sure anybody else would want me in a musical.. but I sure would try. I mean I could sing, but not really well. I can always dream.”
Five weeks ago, the Los Angeles Clippers appeared four minutes away from weathering Giannis Antetokounmpo’s 54-point explosion and notching an applause-worthy road win over the Milwaukee Bucks. After Kawhi Leonard busted out a fake and stepped around his man to loft in a short push shot, Los Angeles led, 105-99, with under three minutes remaining.
Yet those would be the final points of the evening for Los Angeles. Milwaukee scored the next seven and won, 106-105. Down the stretch, the Clippers’ offense stalled into an isolation contest fueled by Leonard and Paul George, as Wesley Matthews and Jrue Holiday relished the challenge and stymied the star duo.
That loss dropped L.A. to 29-26. A month later, they’ve done nothing but tread water, sitting at 35-33, fifth in the West and only two games up on the 10th-seeded New Orleans Pelicans. For a club that entered the season with justifiable title hopes, the first 68 games of 2022-23 have been a colossal disappointment. While Leonard and George missing a combined 45 games doesn’t help matters, this team touts glaring flaws even when they do suit up. They’re 25-15 when Leonard plays, but competent teams are good when their superstar is available; that record alone is not a boarding pass for title contention. His presence does not absolve the Clippers of their flaws.
Broadly, Los Angeles cannot seem to merge effective two-way play. Through 31 games, it ranked 29th in offensive rating and fourth in defensive rating, according to Cleaning The Glass. Over the past 37, it’s 11th in offensive rating and 23rd in defensive rating. On the year, it’s 23rd in offensive rating, 17th in defensive rating and 24th in net rating,
This dissonance, to some extent, stems from the concessions the Clippers constantly have to embrace with their rotation choices. The majority of options give something back substantially on one end or lack in critical areas that exacerbate team-wide shortcomings.
Russell Westbrook, Norman Powell, Mason Plumlee, Marcus Morris, and Eric Gordon can all provide offensive gusto, but create significant defensive issues. Luke Kennard was the same way prior to being dealt to the Memphis Grizzlies. Ivica Zubac, Nicolas Batum, and Robert Covington provide defensive boosts but can all hamstring the offense. There’s not much two-way talent outside of Leonard and George.
To a massive fault, the Clippers are overly reliant on jumpers. Slow developing offensive sets amplify the problem and leave them without much wiggle room on many possessions, as they scarcely create quick-hitting chances. Their crunch-time foibles last month against Milwaukee aptly summarized that white-knuckled, jumper-heavy ethos.
They rank fourth in long midrange rate and 15th in accuracy, per Cleaning The Glass. On a singular play, those midrange shots are generally acceptable and they’re comfortable reps for Leonard and George. Stretched out to a wider sample, however, and the issues that shot profile indicates surface, especially given the middling efficiency. They need diversity, but can’t engineer it. They’re 23rd in rim frequency and long for a viable pick-and-roll big to release tension on the interior. Their brigade of shooters ensures they’re well-spaced horizontally, yet they’re insufficiently spaced vertically. One without the other is sinking these Clippers.
Zubac has certainly progressed offensively, but it feels like he eats up space to the detriment of the offense rather regularly. When he rests, his own team’s rim frequency jumps 3.1 percent, while opponents’ rim frequency spikes 6.9 percent, a dichotomy that speaks to the dilemma the Clippers face in determining his ideal playing time.
They rarely coax the defense out of its shell and into scramble mode, allowing the opposition to guard them straight up. They spend so much time stagnant, play at the league’s ninth-slowest pace and are often forced into settling for suboptimal late clock looks at the end of aesthetically displeasing sequences. This is a rigid team offensively and its primary means of flourishing is already tenuous.
The dearth of quality decision-makers and passers is another major hurdle. George is a tremendous player who’s been overextended into lead ball-handling duties for lengthy stretches. He’s simply not the playmaker or slasher required to assume those responsibilities so prominently for this team.
Leonard’s amid a dominant 30-game run, but he’s also susceptible to missing openings or identifying them late, once they’re no longer available. Powell’s immediacy as a slasher and shooter are vital boons, but he’s not an adept passer. When they were still on the roster, Reggie Jackson and John Wall added to the decision-making trials.
Whether it’s reading the floor slowly or firing inaccurate passes, Los Angeles’ offensive hubs (current and former) are prone to disrupting the flow built on a given possession with gaffes. Defenses are enabled to recover or nab takeaways when recipients of passes have to go out of their way to collect them. A 17th-ranked turnover percentage derails opportunities as well. The passing and processing speed simply aren’t at the requisite levels for this offense to hum on a nightly basis.
Although the offense is the leading culprit of Los Angeles’ perils, its defense is not without blame either. Regardless of scheme and personnel, the connectivity has contributed to the struggles. The Clippers typically switch and the execution hasn’t been pristine all the time, as offenses can often find driving angles.
That’s particularly troubling during the 19 minutes Zubac sits each game because the interior depth behind him can’t defend the rim effectively. I’d wager some of the cohesion suffers from various absences and a carousel of rotations. Adding three new players to the rotation (Plumlee, Westbrook, Gordon) around the trade deadline only heightened that challenge.
Then, this circles back to the concessions they’re cornered into. Head coach Ty Lue is devoted to grant Morris heavy minutes, though the veteran forward’s declining mobility causes breakdowns on the perimeter in various fashions, not to mention his offensive decision-making is dubious.
Plumlee’s passing and finishing are welcomed aspects inside, though he’s an ineffectual rim protector. Westbrook’s passing and breakneck cadence are beneficial, though his risk-taking at the point of attack and ball-watching away from the action are worrisome. Gordon’s lateral quickness has regressed the past couple years. Powell doesn’t smoothly navigate screens or cover ground East-West. A lot of players designed to elevate the offense come into conflict with the defensive output.
When the personnel is limited, the synergy must be sharp. That’s not the case. The result is a 17th-ranked defense on the downswing. The margin for error on a roster short rim protection depth is small. Los Angeles’ errors routinely eclipse such a margin.
The other angle residing over the Clippers’ recent slide (2-5 in their last seven) is Westbrook’s domineering style. His arrival prompts a reorientation from other integral role players. He is certainly not the leading or lone factor in their demise since he joined the rotation and has in fact produced some good outings.
Yet he is not a seamless addition. Powell and Terance Mann must adapt. There’s also the reality that he is maximized as an on-ball creator whose playmaking can fill clear gaps in the offense. His scoring ineptitude renders him a less effective initiator than George and Leonard, while his shooting constraints and finishing hiccups muddy his off-ball fit.
Navigating that entire dynamic as players, Westbrook included, and coaches is arduous, let alone doing so the final six weeks of the regular season as a team yearning for consistency. Westbrook seeing 30 minutes per game intensifies the tribulation. Had his integration occurred around the holidays in a 20-minute, reserve capacity rather than late February in a 30-minute, starting gig, the transition would be easier. The decision to sign him at this point in the season and hand him such a grand role is risky and ripples across the roster, and the complications of his addition are not solely tied to his skillset.
The Clippers are headlined by two stars, one of which is performing like an All-NBA player the past three months. Their rotation is stocked with dudes who most would consider viable ancillary cogs. And yet, with only a month remaining in the regular season, they sit much closer to the outside of the playoffs than rubbing shoulders with the West’s elite.
It’s largely the product of a team-building method that neglected valuing specific skills, which prove themselves paramount after every underwhelming result. Schematically or individually, this group doesn’t have a nucleus to unify possessions on either end and provide a roadmap each trip down the court. As the playoff landscape crystalizes, those mistakes and holes will likely be the reason this franchise again falls short of its aspirations during the Leonard and George Era, one that began so optimistically and is currently hazy as ever.
In a move that’s sure to go over great with Elon Musk, Meta is reportedly developing a text-based social media platform that sounds an awful lot like Twitter. According to an initial report by Moneycontrol, the app will reportedly be “Instagram-branded,” and its development was later confirmed by Meta. If Mark Zuckerberg can’t conquer the Metaverse, taking a big chunk out of Elon Musk is one way to assert his social media dominance.
“We’re exploring a standalone decentralized social network for sharing text updates,” Meta confirmed in a statement. “We believe there’s an opportunity for a separate space where creators and public figures can share timely updates about their interests.”
Platformer also corroborated Moneycontrol‘s report, and apparently, Meta’s Twitter substitute could fulfill both Musk and Jack Dorsey’s dream of a decentralized platform:
While the company would not elaborate beyond its statement, in a decentralized network individual users are typically able to set up their own, independent servers and set server-specific rules for how content is moderated.
Building a decentralized network could also give Meta the opportunity for its new app to interoperate with other social products — a previously unheard-of gesture from a company known for building some of the most lucrative walled gardens in the industry’s history.
As of this writing, Elon Musk hasn’t reacted to Meta’s new project, but he did reply to a tweet about the QAnon Shaman “getting the shaft.” The man has his priorities straight.
The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.
ITEM NUMBER ONE – Let’s think this through
Something kind of important happened on this week’s episode of The Mandalorian. Baby Yoda — I will never call him Grogu — went tumbling through the air and landed in the arms of Amy Sedaris, where he proceeded to coo and babble as he always does. But she, in a fit of misguided hope, thought she might have heard something. Like… a word? Maybe the little guy’s first word? This had not even dawned on me until that moment, the thing where Baby Yoda might start talking someday. I mean, it makes sense, probably, because the other Yoda we know talked kind of a lot. Will this guy talk like that, with his words all out of order? Is that a biological thing how all Yodas talk? Or will he talk the way the people around him do, kind of a nurture over nature thing? I am now fascinated by this in a way I never expected to be. I don’t even care about Star Wars that much! But the brain is cranking now and there is no going back.
I’m not the only one who is thinking about it. Entertainment Tonight wrangled producer Dave Filioni and asked him about it, too. And his answer, as caught by ComicBook dot com, proved… well, not very helpful. But still.
When asked by Entertainment Tonight how old this species is when they start speaking, Filoni replied, “It’s a good question. I mean, I would suppose fairly young. We don’t know that he’s not talking in his own way, and, obviously, he can communicate with Ahsoka where she can at least divine from him some type of communication.”
He added, “What would his first word be? We’ll see, I don’t know.”
Great!
Anyway, a few notes here, which I will address in order of importance…
— The betting favorite here has to be Baby Yoda looking Pedro Pascal straight in the, uh, helmet, and saying something like “dada” or “papa,” just because the show has really been leaning into the cuteness factor lately — DID YOU SEE HIM WALKING THROUGH THE CAVE IN THE LAST EPISODE? — and that would be almost weaponizing it all in a way that will turn your average viewer into a puddle on the floor.
— There is also a chance he blurts out some important Star Wars thing. Like, some word or phrase that ties into the multi-decade universe in a way that winks at the diehard fans and/or advances the plot in some new and unexpected way. The funniest way to do this would be for him to open his mouth and deliver a full paragraph worth of Jedi history with perfect pronunciation and maybe a British accent for some reason. I would probably enjoy that.
— The downside of Baby Yoda talking someday is that it’ll be a lot less fun for the people who write the captions at Disney Plus. These are all from this week’s episode alone. I swear there was a “sputtering” in there, too, but I couldn’t find it the second time through. Maybe I hallucinated it.
DISNEYDISNEYDISNEY
— How great would it be if the audience waits seasons and seasons to hear Baby Yoda’s first word, tearing themselves apart over what it might be and how it could affect the story going forward, and then one day, smack in the middle of an episode, he bumps his little floating saucer into a chair and says “Ah, shit.”
This last one would make me happier than any of you can possibly imagine. I don’t think I would ever stop laughing. I’m laughing now just thinking about it. People would lose their minds a little bit. I live for that kind of thing. If you or anyone you know has any kind of influence at LucasFilm, please, I am begging you, pitch this idea. They’ll say no, sure. At first. But be patient. Let them tucker themselves out with all their other serious ideas. Let them spin themselves into indecision by fretting over the pros and cons of the various “real” options. Wait a good week or two. Just sit there and be quiet and nod and sip your coffee. Maybe toss out a pseudo-helpful “That could work” once in a while. And then, with the deadline approaching like a freight train, just when they’re all exhausted and punchy and vulnerable… pitch it again.
For me.
For us.
For the people.
Let Baby Yoda cuss.
ITEM NUMBER TWO – It is cool that we are trying to do comedy again
This is the red band trailer for a new movie called No Hard Feelings. Please do not click on it if you are in a place where Jennifer Lawrence saying the word “wiener” will get you in trouble, or even if it’ll get you looked at funny by people you don’t want looking at you funny. Because that happens in this trailer. Pretty much right away. Put your headphones in or tell people to mind their own business. Or wave them over and tell them to check it out, too. It looks fun. Here’s the description from the movie’s official website.
On the brink of losing her childhood home, Maddie (Lawrence) discovers an intriguing job listing: wealthy helicopter parents looking for someone to “date” their introverted 19-year-old son, Percy, before he leaves for college. To her surprise, Maddie soon discovers the awkward Percy is no sure thing.
Let’s be clear about what is happening here: This is a silly comedy about a kid’s parents offering Jennifer Lawrence a Buick to sleep with their dorky kid before he zips off to Princeton. That’s… it’s something! I don’t know if it’ll be any good. It could be awful. We’ll have to wait a little while to figure that out. I don’t even care all that much about this aspect of it right now. I just want to point out how cool it is that it exists.
I mean that in two ways, too. The first is the bigger and more obvious one, which is that it’s nice to see Jennifer Lawrence out here doing a full-throated comedy. Jennifer Lawrence is funny! She’s been funny forever! It’s weird that she’s only ever been in serious dramas and action movies, with small exceptions made for the type of winky jokes you’ll sometimes get in an awards-y movie. I’m glad to see her doing this. We need more big movie stars doing big studio comedies.
Which brings me to the other cool thing: We need more big studio comedies, like, period, especially fun little raunchy ones. It feels like we — as a society — have this conversation every 10 years or so. American Pie, Superbad, Easy A, that kind of thing. But any comedy works if we devote the resources to it. This is where I remind everyone that Confess, Fletch was a freaking blast and it’s infuriating that it just got buried on VOD last year. And that Game Night is a fun movie. These kinds of mid-budget gems get lost when everything is sequels and existing IP, which bums me out a little bit. I’m glad we’re trying again. I don’t know how I feel about Matthew Broderick having this haircut, but everything else feels good.
SONY
In conclusion, I hope this movie works, in part because I love a good comedy and in part because I want to see more. Thank you.
ITEM NUMBER THREE – I would like to discuss the Keanu fungus
abc
Huge news out of Germany this week. No time for an introduction. Straight to the blockquote.
Upon their discovery that certain bacterial compounds kill fungus, scientists at a German research institute were reminded of lethal action of a Hollywood proportion: specifically, Keanu Reeves in his starring role in the thriller franchise “John Wick.”
The compounds, which the researchers called “keanumycins,” withered away both fungi harmful to plants and humans with deadly precision.
KEANU FUNGUS
THERE IS A KEANU FUNGUS
ALSO KEANU FUNGUS WOULD BE A GREAT NAME FOR A BAND
OR A DOG
OR A BABY
TELL ME MORE
“The keanumycins create holes in the surface of the pathogen and it ‘bleeds’ to death,” said the study’s lead author, Sebastian Götze, a postdoctorate in paleobiotechnology at the Leibniz Institute.
“Like Keanu Reeves in his many roles as a proficient killer, the newly discovered molecules can also very efficiently, at low concentrations, kill different human fungal pathogens, by riddling them with holes,” he said.
This is… wonderful. It’s honestly just wonderful. I don’t think there’s a better word for it. Scientists found a new kind of fungus that kills things as efficiently as Keanu does in the John Wick movies and they went ahead and named it after him. That’s all just very… yeah, wonderful.
In fact, now that I think about it, I’m not even sure I can think of a way to improve on any of this. Maybe… and this is admittedly a long shot… but maybe if Keanu was doing like a Reddit AMA and someone brought it to his attention and he gave some incredibly Keanu response. Like, if he called the scientists “scientist people” or something. But now I’m just being gr-…
REDDIT
It’s so beautiful I might cry.
ITEM NUMBER FOUR – This is hilarious to me
hbo
Succession is coming back for a final season later this month, which is both something we talked about last week and something I do not want to think about much more until I have to. I mean, I get it, but it makes me sad. So… let’s move on! To this! The thing where there’s a big huge article out this week — tied loosely to Succession’s return — about how all these rich people shows go to great lengths to make things as accurate as possible. As if I would notice or care. But some people do. I guess! Because these people are really serious about it!
There’s a lot in there about how all these shows — Billions and The White Lotus, too, to cite other examples — source things to make sure everyone is drinking the right wine or wearing the right watch or using the right phrase on the heliport so that real rich people watching at home won’t scoff into their brandy. (Do rich people drink brandy? I honestly have no idea.) I guess it makes enough sense. I have a spinal cord injury and use a wheelchair and it drives me crazy when movies mess up your basic wheelchair stuff, so there’s a degree to which me finding this all silly makes me a hypocrite, but also… come on.
Fanny Pereire, who worked on the pilots for Billions and Succession, has a full-time job securing art for TV and film. Her process starts with a wish list of original works. She then secures single-use permission to feature each piece from the copyright holders, generally by paying out fees to artists or estates. The works shown on-screen are mostly very good official copies of sometimes priceless originals, laser-printed on canvas and touched up by the show’s art department to add brushstroke texture. After shooting wraps, Pereire usually films herself slashing the approved fakes—she’s contractually obligated to destroy or return the works—and sometimes sends them back to the artist in pieces, as proof of destruction.
I’m sorry. I really am. But you can’t just have a woman whose job is to source high-end art for rich people shows and tell me her name is Fanny Periere and expect me to let it go. I’m only so strong.
I’m not that strong.
I’m kind of weak, actually.
But I’m definitely not strong enough to let this go. That much I know for sure. So here we are.
ITEM NUMBER FIVE – WE DID IT
I don’t need a good excuse to post the “Focus Group” sketch from I Think You Should Leave. It’s just really good. I could post it in this column every single week and I don’t think anyone would get mad at me. They might roll their eyes a little, maybe, like “Okay, Brian. We get it. You like the sketch.” But they wouldn’t get mad.
It doesn’t matter at all this week, though, because I do have a good excuse. A real, actual good excuse! The federal government is taking a close look at Tesla for a bunch of reasons, some having to do with the self-driving apparatus causing accidents, and some having to do with… uh…
Earlier Wednesday, the agency posted documents revealing an investigation of steering wheels that can detach from the steering column on as many as 120,000 Model Y SUVs.
THE STEERING WHEEL WHIFFED OFF…
In one complaint filed with NHTSA, an owner said he was driving with his family in Woodbridge, New Jersey, when the steering wheel suddenly came off on Jan. 29, five days after the vehicle was purchased. The owner wrote that he was able to pull toward the road divider. There were no injuries.
… WHILE HE WAS DRIVING.
I know I just did the “block quote a news story and reply with a bunch of capital letters” bit a section or two ago, but I don’t really see how it could have been avoided here. One of the funniest sketches on one of our funniest shows, one with a pretty openly ridiculous premise, wound up kind of predicting an issue that would pop up for a car company owned by the richest man in the world.
In a just society, we would take all of Elon Musk’s money and give it to Tim Robinson. Or me. Either way.
READER MAIL
If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at brian.grubb@uproxx.com (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.
From Ryan:
Please tell me you saw the interview with the director of Fast X where he said the title is supposed to be pronounced “Fast Ten” and not “Fast Ex.” I know it makes sense. I don’t know why I didn’t consider it until now. We were so close to getting “FasTen Your Seatbelts” as a title. There’s still time to make it the tagline. Please use your connections to make this happen.
So, a few things here, which I’m going to knock out via bullet point:
Ryan, it is very sweet of you to assume I have “connections,” but lol
I had somehow also not considered this, which I feel really stupid about now
I mean, it’s the tenth movie and X is the Roman numeral for 10, so…
Like, we see Rocky IV and say it like “Rocky Four”
In my defense, the titles of these movies have been enough of a mess that it’s not exactly outlandish to assume they would just up and call a movie Fast X but pronounce it Fast Ex
An 82-year-old Colorado man was charged Wednesday with selling and trading fake Michael Jordan basketball cards in a scheme that prosecutors said resulted in him making more than $800,000 over four years.
Hmm. Yes, I love him.
Mayo Gilbert McNeil was arrested in Denver, where he lives, after a complaint was unsealed in federal court in Brooklyn charging him with conspiracy to commit wire fraud, according to the Brooklyn U.S. Attorney’s office.
Let’s pause here and make sure we are all on the same page: An 82-year-old man named Mayo was making $200k a year by selling counterfeit Michael Jordan basketball cards to sports memorabilia dorks and the federal government wants to put him in prison for it?
Nope.
No, sir.
Not if I am on the jury.
McNeil was accused of making numerous fraudulent deals beginning in 2015, including the 2019 sale of a counterfeit card to a victim in Manhasset, New York, for $4,500, and a 2017 deal in which he traded two counterfeit cards for two authentic Tom Brady football cards.
I need one of two things — or both — to happen in the very near future.
ONE: I need someone, maybe FX/Hulu, to make a loosely fictionalized limited series about this, maybe as a season of Fargo or maybe a season of American Crime Story or maybe we just throw a bunch of money at the Justified guys and let them run wild. I can be flexible. A little. I do need it, though.
TWO: A docuseries about all of this where one of the law enforcement talking heads is my beloved Agent Doug from McMillion$. You know he’d love this stuff.
HBOHBO
Please. I’ve been very good.
Kind of.
I’ve been kind of good.
In a brief phone call, McNeil said he was released without bail after an initial appearance in U.S. District Court in Colorado.
“I did nothing wrong,” he said, declining to comment at length.
Last year, The Cure’s frontman Robert Smith announced a new album was in the works. Although the rock band didn’t drop a project of original music, they did share a remastered version of their breakout album, Wish, to celebrate its 30th anniversary. Now, the group is heading out on their first North American tour since 2016.
Kicking off in New Orleans in May, supporting them on tour is Scottish post-punk band The Twilight Sad. Consisting of vocalist James Graham, guitarist Andy MacFarlane, bassist Johnny Docherty, keyboardist Brendan Smith, and drummer Grant Hutchison, the group has successfully toured with The Cure in the past, as recently as 2016, for international dates.
While The Twilight Sad hasn’t reached peak popularity in the States, alternative music fans consider their 2014 album, It Won’t Be Like This All The Time, to be groundbreaking in the indie rock scene. The Twilight Sad and The Cure’s discography pair well with each other, making them ideal for touring companions.
Continue below for the complete tour schedule. Find ticket information here.
5/10 – New Orleans, LA @ Smoothie King Center
5/12 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center
5/13 – Dallas, TX @ Dos Equis Pavilion
5/14 – Austin, TX @ Moody Center
5/16 – Albuquerque, NM @ Isleta Amphitheater
5/18 – Phoenix, AZ @ Desert Diamond Arena
5/20 – San Diego, CA @ NICU Amphitheatre
5/23-25 – Los Angeles, CA @ Hollywood Bowl
5/27 – San Francisco, CA @ Shoreline Amphitheatre
6/01 – Seattle, WA @ Climate Pledge Arena
6/02 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena
6/04 – Salt Lake City, UT @ Vivint Smart Home Arena
6/06 – Denver, CO @ Fiddler’s Green Amphitheatre
6/08 – Minneapolis, MN @ Xcel Energy Center
6/10 – Chicago, IL @ United Center
6/11 – Cleveland, OH @ Blossom Music Center
6/13 – Detroit, MI @ Pine Knob Music Center
6/14 – Toronto, ON @ Budweiser Stage
6/16 – Montreal, QC @ Bell Centre
6/18 – Boston, MA @ Xfinity Center
6/20-22 – New York, NY @ Madison Square Garden
6/24 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Arena
6/25 – Columbia, MD @ Merriweather Post Pavilion
6/27 – Atlanta, GA @ State Farm Arena
6/29 – Tampa, FL @ Amalie Arena
7/01 – Miami, FL @ Miami-Dade Arena
Earlier this week, we learned that Donald Trump is publishing a book about his favorite topic: himself. Letters to Trump “captures the incredible, and oftentimes private correspondence, between President Donald J. Trump and some of the biggest names in history throughout the past 40 years,” including former The Tonight Show host Jay Leno. The thing is, Trump apparently never got permission to publish Leno’s letter, which — have you heard about this? — could get him into legal hot water. That’s so unlike Trump.
“Jay did not release, nor authorize any use of any letter to Mr. Trump,” a representative from Leno’s production company, Big Dog Productions, told Newsweek. The rep isn’t even sure which letter will be in the book. Maybe it’s about trucks, or as Leno likes to call them, big cars.
Trump also never cleared his letters to/from Hillary Clinton, because “of course he didn’t,” her spokesperson Nick Merrill said. “Nothing says deeply-insecure-has-been quite like publishing private correspondence with the hope that people will believe you once garnered respect,” he told Newsweek. “Feels like the adult equivalent of when a toddler proudly presents you with what they’ve done on the potty.” Here’s more:
He may face potential lawsuits in doing so. It is unclear whether Trump has the legal right to publish the letters without the sender’s permission… The principle that the writers of the letters, not the recipients, retain the copyright has been “well-established in copyright law” for hundreds of years according to Jane C. Ginsburg, professor of literary and artistic property Law at Columbia University School of Law in New York.
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