Categories
News Trending Viral Worldwide

A Judge Reportedly Ruled In Favor Of The Game’s Sexual Assault Accuser In ‘Shell Company’ Lawsuit

the game summertime in the LBC 2018
Getty Image / Scott Dudelson

Just as Cardi B refuses to let up on Taska K in pursuit of her court-decided judgment, “How We Do” rapper The Game has found himself in the same piping-hot financial waters. According to Radar Online, The Game lost his latest legal battle against his sexual assault accuser, Priscilla Rainey.

On December 29, Rainey argued that The Game has been imploring sneaky business tactics to avoid paying out his $7 million judgment. In the paperwork, Rainey alleged that The Game transferred several high-value assets, including his California mansion (estimated at $2.8 million), trademarks, and even cash funds to shell companies (JTT Holdings, Inc, F12 & Associates, 5th Amendment Entertainment, and Pass Go 2 Win LLC) then his manager Wack 100, to avoid being seized by the courts on Rainey’s behalf via a lien.

Even though Wack 100 testified that he received these items due to debts The Game previously owed him, the judge ruled in Rainey’s favor, urging The Game to resume payment towards the remaining balance. Rainey stated in court that The Game has only paid $500,000 toward the massive seven-figure total so far.

The Game maintains that he did not sexually assault Rainey during the filming of his then-reality show, She Got Game, which aired in 2015.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Categories
News Trending Viral Worldwide

Immigrants explain why they personally celebrate the Fourth of July each year.

Some 300 million people live in the United States. And over 40 million of them are immigrants.

Now, some people might have you believe that too many immigrants might cause us to lose our identity as Americans or that we ought to be fighting and clinging to “the way things were.”

But if you look around, you’ll see that more than 1 in 10 Americans were born somewhere else — meaning they have their own unique set of amazing experiences to share and their own amazing stories about why they’re here.


They each have their own ideas about what being an American means to them, too. And they each have their own reasons for celebrating American independence on the Fourth of July.

So if you want to feel proud, excited, and maybe even a teensy bit emotional about being an American, this one’s for you.

Meet five immigrants from all over the country (and all over the world!) who are showing their American pride in many, many shades of red, white, and blue this year.

Mexican American experience, traditional, celebration

1. Nayeli Ruvalcaba’s Fourth of July is full of traditional Mexican food and mariachi music.

Ruvalcaba, who was born in Mexico but moved to Chicago when she was 4, spent her early childhood in a mostly caucasian neighborhood called Lakeview. There, she says the Fourth of July was pretty much what you’d expect.

“Everyone would be making ribs and burgers and mac and cheese. And my dad would be drinking Budweisers and Coors Light,” she said with a laugh.

Nayeli with her parents.

But when she was 16, she moved to a more diverse area of the city filled with families from Mexico, Puerto Rico, and Poland.

There, she says, their holidays are much more vibrant. Neighbors gather in the alleys and share their customs and cultures with one another. They sing along with music (her boyfriend, who is in a mariachi band, often gets the party going). They play games. And then there’s the food: Nayeli says she loves to chow down on delicious Fourth of July dishes like arrachera (a Mexican skirt steak), polish sausage, guacamole, and, of course, burgers.

“I know it’s an American holiday,” she says. “Buteveryone has their own culture. You just mix it in with what everyoneelse does.”

Nayeli and her boyfriend in full mariachi get-up!

watermelon, English tea, mishmash of culture

2. Johanna Dodd and her family celebrate their Fourth of July the “old fashioned way” but with a small U.K.-based twist.

A one-year work contract for her husband brought the Dodds to Connecticut from the U.K. years ago. 12 years later, they’re still here.

The Dodds!

On their Fourth of July, she says, “We tend to do what everyone else in town does. We’ll head to the fireworks display with our cooler packed full of food, and, occasionally, we’ll sneak in some alcohol.”

Sounds pretty American to me!

Johanna’s young daughter watches the fireworks.

“The kids run around, there’s lots of glow sticks, lots of football (both kinds) being played, lots of fun stuff happening. As it gets darker, there’s the national anthem, and then out come the fireworks.”

But there is one slightly British twist to the Dodds’ holiday: “We don’t really do the tailgating thing. We bring what we would call ‘an English tea.’ There’s watermelon, yogurts, cheese sandwiches. Kind of a mishmash of both cultures.”

grilling, fish, Liberia, American experience

3. Martin Matthews says he never misses a Fourth of July parade and for a powerful reason.

Matthews was 8 years old when he first came to America to escape a civil war in his home country of Liberia. One of his first memories? A huge Fourth of July parade in New Jersey.

“I had never seen anything like that. The flags, the drums, everything. I remember watching in awe.”

Martin with his wife.

He returned to Africa later on but came back to live in America again when fighting broke out in his home country. And when he returned, that big parade stuck in his memory.

“I always loved that about America. It was a place I could be safe. A place I could enjoy freedom,” he said. “To celebrate the independence of the United States holds a deep place in my heart.”

These days, Martin is big on having barbecues with friends to celebrate Independence Day. There are a lot of burgers and hot dogs, but he’ll sometimes mix in traditional African dishes, too, like African-style kabobs, to introduce his friends to his heritage.

“It’s a big thing in Africa for people to put fish on the grill, like the whole fish,” he added. “You put the whole thing on there. It was the first time some of my American friends had ever tried fish on the grill that wasn’t salmon.”

But his favorite thing about the holiday is still the parades. “We get there early and wave our American flags. Every year I always wear some kind of American shirt. We sit there and watch everything. It’s my way of saying thanks to my adopted country.”

cricket, India, celebrating holiday, University of Michigan

4. Jay Pockyarath mixes cricket with an American-style barbecue on Independence Day.

“Ever since I was in eighth grade, all I wanted to do was come to the United States,” he told Upworthy. After finishing college in India, he finally got the chance when studying nuclear medicine at the University of Michigan. From there, he married an American woman and started a family.

“The thing that works [in America] is that it’s a meritocracy,” Pockyarath said. “July Fourth is a celebration of that, in my mind. Of independence. Of the freedom to succeed.”

Jay, who was born in India, proudly flies an American flag outside his home for July Fourth.

Pockyarath has lived in the United States for over 40 years, so it’s no surprise that his holiday celebration looks pretty familiar: steak, hamburgers, and hot dogs on the grill. To him, what’s really important is spending time with family.

“Usually we make up games,” he laughed. “We play cricket — not the way it’s supposed to be played, but with a tennis ball. We make up our own rules.”

American flag, Fourth of July, friends and family, decorating

5. Natalia Paruz is originally from Israel, and she decorates everything in red, white, and blue.

Natalia is now a musician in New York City.

“First I came here with my parents [about 20 years ago] for a year. At the end of the year, they went back to Israel, and I wanted to stay here,” she told Upworthy.

Now she works as a musician in New York City. And she absolutely, positively loves the Fourth of July.

“It’s a really fun day. It’s a day where you can put politics aside. It’s a day for celebrating the joy of this country.”

Natalia and her husband host friends every year for a big meal. “I love decorating the house for the holiday with the flags. There’s always a big flag hanging from the flagpole. In the back, that’s where I really go all out. Every tree gets some kind of decoration!”

“We make hot dogs, hamburgers — how can you not?” she said. “We also make tahini, which is a traditional Israeli food. It’s made of sesame seeds and it becomes a paste and you spread it on pita bread. Our friends here love it.”

Natalia says an overabundance of food “as if you’re going to entertain a bunch of soldiers” is a nod to her Israeli roots.

This year, she’s going out with friends to watch fireworks. “I wear a T-shirt that has an American flag on it and a bracelet with the colors of the flag. If you’re celebrating, you might as well go to the maximum.”

It turns out, celebrating America means different things to different people. And that’s kind of the point.

In my mind, the only thing better than a Fourth of July party filled with burgers, steaks, beer, and fireworks is a Fourth of July party filled with all of those things plus Mexican food and African music and “English tea” and tahini and mariachi bands and more.

So whether we choose to embrace the “American way” of celebrating Independence Day (red meat and fireworks) or to use it as a chance to celebrate the unique melting pot of culture that is our country today or something in between, I think we can all agree that the America we have now is already pretty great.

This article originally appeared on 07.01.16

Categories
News Trending Viral Worldwide

The Cardinals Stunned The Eagles To Give The 49ers The 1-Seed In The NFC

james conner
Getty Image

The Philadelphia Eagles came into Sunday’s game against the 3-12 Cardinals needing to win their final two games of the season and get a little help from the San Francisco. 49ers opponents if they were going to repeat as the NFC’s 1-seed and earn a first round bye in the playoffs. With the Lions controversial loss on Saturday night in Dallas, the Eagles also needed to win out to guarantee themselves the NFC East division title over the Cowboys.

Given the Cardinals record, they weren’t supposed to be a particularly big road block to the Eagles on Sunday, but as has been the case much of this season, Philadelphia insisted on making it difficult on themselves. The Eagles defense had no answers for Kyler Murray, James Conner, and the Cardinals offense all game, so when they arrived in the final two minutes needing a stop to preserve a 31-28 lead, there wasn’t much optimism.

Sure enough, the Cardinals moved deep into Philly territory on a long pass play to Greg Dortch, who broke free on a crossing route and got the ball inside the ten.

Then Arizona gave the ball to Conner, who had 128 yards rushing on the day, for his second total touchdown to put the Cardinals up by four.

Philly would move the ball out to midfield, but could only muster a Hail Mary attempt that got picked off in the end zone.

It was a brutal loss for the Eagles, as the defense has not seemed to take any strides forward with Matt Patricia now calling the plays and some pretty dreadful vibes around the team. They now find themselves tied with Dallas atop the NFC East standings entering the final week of the season (with the Cowboys owning the tiebreakder), and allow the Niners to go into Week 18 with the top seed wrapped up.

Categories
News Trending Viral Worldwide

15 tweets that only married people will understand

Being married is like being half of a two-headed monster. It’s impossible to avoid regular disagreements when you’re bound to another person for the rest of your life.

Even the perfect marriage (if there was such a thing) would have its daily frustrations. Funnily enough, most fights aren’t caused by big decisions but the simple, day-to-day questions, such as “What do you want for dinner?”; “Are we free Friday night?”; and “What movie do you want to see?”


Here are some hilarious tweets that just about every married couple will understand.

grievances, irritable interactions, dissastifsfaction

texting, resentments, bummer

competition, team, newlyweds

misplaced items, vanished, missing keys

altercations, , remedy, healing

breakfast in bed, bickering, quarrels

deliberation, disputes, agitations

espoused, mated, joined in holy matrimony

united together, walking the path, joined at the hip

little forms of affection, affectionate, considerate

tolerant, understanding, all heart

inside jokes, tweets, frustration

funny marriage jokes, marriage memes, marriage tweets

marriage, couples, relationships

married life, wives, husbands

This article originally appeared on 09.06.17

Categories
News Trending Viral Worldwide

Grimes Blasts ‘Nazi’ Labeling After Expressing Her Deep Pride In The Musician’s White Culture Online

Grimes
Getty Image

I Wanna Be Software” musician Grimes has never been one for labels. Typically, Grimes doesn’t care to clarify any online chatter linked to her name (especially surrounding her relationship with Elon Musk). However, regarding her children and ideology, she is always ready to clap back.

Today (December 31), Grimes took to her official X (formerly Twitter) page to blast users for labeling her a Nazi after expressing her appreciation for white culture. “I’m called a Nazi because I happily am proud of white culture. But every day, I think fondly of the brown king Cyrus the Great, who invented the first ever empire, and the Japanese icon Murasaki Shikibu, who wrote the first novel ever. What if humans just loved each other,” wrote Grimes.

She added, “History teaches us that we have all been, and always will be – great.”

Users online chimed with further criticism hurling other damning designations, including referring to Grimes as a white supremacist. “I’m a human suprematist – humans are amazing,” wrote Grimes in response to the claim.

After her initial post caused a firestorm of backlash, followers begged Grimes to delete the statement and step away from her account for a while. Both of which, she admittedly refused to do, writing, “I don’t care. I will always ride for the beauty and ingenuity of all humans. It is only those who refuse to look at history who think anyone superior or inferior, and I will happily die on this hill.”

When Grimes fans said they wanted to start 2024 with a bang, I’m sure this isn’t what they had envisioned.

Categories
News Trending Viral Worldwide

A ballet company’s response to one football fan’s sexist insult on Facebook was epic

When the Philadelphia Eagles’ season came to an unceremonious end last weekend, many fans were, understandably, more than a little pissed.

Take the rest of the night off to sleep in your shame, boys. Photo by Elsa/Getty Images.

After the final game, one fan allegedly commented on Facebook that the team had “played like they were wearing tutus!!!”

Photo by David R. Tribble/Wikimedia Commons.

…according to the Pennsylvania Ballet, which reported encountering the post on the social media site.

The Pennsylvania Ballet, whose company members regularly wear tutus, had a few choice words for anyone who thinks their light, frequently pink costumes mean they’re not “tough.”

Commence epic reply…


(full text transcribed under the post).

A Facebook user recently commented that the Eagles had “played like they were wearing tutus!!!”

Our response:

“With all due respect to the Eagles, let’s take a minute to look at what our tutu wearing women have done this month:

By tomorrow afternoon, the ballerinas that wear tutus at Pennsylvania Ballet will have performed The Nutcracker 27 times in 21 days. Some of those women have performed the Snow scene and the Waltz of the Flowers without an understudy or second cast. No ‘second string’ to come in and spell them when they needed a break. When they have been sick they have come to the theater, put on make up and costume, smiled and performed. When they have felt an injury in the middle of a show there have been no injury timeouts. They have kept smiling, finished their job, bowed, left the stage, and then dealt with what hurts. Some of these tutu wearers have been tossed into a new position with only a moments notice. That’s like a cornerback being told at halftime that they’re going to play wide receiver for the second half, but they need to make sure that no one can tell they’ve never played wide receiver before. They have done all of this with such artistry and grace that audience after audience has clapped and cheered (no Boo Birds at the Academy) and the Philadelphia Inquirer has said this production looks “better than ever”.

So no, the Eagles have not played like they were wearing tutus. If they had, Chip Kelly would still be a head coach and we’d all be looking forward to the playoffs.”

Happy New Year!

In case it wasn’t obvious, toughness has nothing to do with your gender.

Gendered and homophobic insults in sports have been around basically forever — how many boys are called a “pansy” on the football field or told they “throw like a girl” in Little League?

“They played like they were wearing tutus” is the same deal. It’s shorthand for “You’re kinda ladylike, which means you’re not tough enough.”

Toughness, however, has a funny way of not being pinned to one particular gender. It’s not just ballerinas, either. NFL cheerleaders? They get paid next to nothing to dance in bikini tops and short-shorts in all kinds of weather — and wear only ever-so-slightly heavier outfits when the thermometer drops below freezing. And don’t even get me started on how mind-bogglingly badass the Rockettes are.

Toughness also has nothing to do with what kind of clothes you wear.

As my colleague Parker Molloy astutely points out, the kinds of clothes assigned to people of different genders are, and have always been, basically completely arbitrary. Pink has been both a “boys color” and a “girls color” at different points throughout history. President Franklin D. Roosevelt — longtime survivor of polio, Depression vanquisher, wartime leader, and no one’s idea of a wimp — was photographed in his childhood sporting a long blonde hairstyle and wearing a dress.

Many of us are conditioned to see a frilly pink dance costume and think “delicate,” and to look at a football helmet and pads and think “big and strong.” But scratch the surface a little bit, and you’ll meet tutu-wearing ballerinas who that are among toughest people on the planet and cleat-and-helmet-wearing football players who are … well. The 2015 Eagles.

You just can’t tell from their outerwear.

Ballerinas wear tutus for the same reason football players wear uniforms and pads:

To get the job done.


This article originally appeared on 01.05.16

Categories
News Trending Viral Worldwide

Did Toni Braxton And Birdman Get Married?

Toni Braxton Weinstein Golden Globe Party 2016
Getty Image

Is “Hurt You” singer Toni Braxton going into 2024 as a married woman? Yesterday (December 30), her younger sister Tamar Braxton certainly made it appear that way. During an Instagram Live broadcast, fans bombard Tamar with questions about the status of Toni and Cash Money Records CEO Birdman’s relationship, brought forth by a rumor spreading across social media that the duo eloped in a private ceremony in Mexico.

Joined by her fiancee Jeremy “JR” Robinson, Tamar joked, “Let me find out they (Toni and Birdman) got married before us,” adding, “But, they’ve been together 14,000 umpteen years!”

So, did Toni Braxton and Birdman get married? According to Toni, the answer is flat-out and unequivocally no. The notoriously private singer rushed to her official Instagram page to shut down the chatter. “My dear friend Birdman and I are not married. [We’ve] never been married. We are both single,” wrote Toni.

Not only are the pair not husband and wife, but based on Toni’s note, the duo are no longer dating. Toni and Birdman established a working relationship in 2022 after working on the song “Baby You Can Do It.” Their friendship remained over the decade until they took things to another level in 2016, when they confirmed their relationship. By 2018, they were engaged. It is unclear when they officially split.

Categories
News Trending Viral Worldwide

Her son came out. She called a gay bar for advice. The delightful conversation went viral.

Kara Coley, a bartender at Sipps in Gulfport, Mississippi, got an unusual phone call on the job last week.

“Good evening,” Coley answered. “Thank you for calling Sipps!”

A woman on the other end of the line asked, “Is this a gay bar?”

Sipps welcomes everyone, Coley explained to her, but indeed attracts a mostly LGBTQ crowd.


“Can I ask you a question?” the caller followed up. “Are you gay?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Coley said.

Then things got interesting.

“What was the one thing you wanted from your parents when you came out?” the woman continued.

Coley, who’s tended bar for about 17 years, was a little caught off guard. In all her years of experience fielding requests and helping others working in the service industry, she’d never received a question like that.

“My son just came out to me,” the woman continued on the other end of the line. “And I don’t want to say anything that may mess him up in the head.”

Coley thought for a moment. Then she asked the woman if she accepted her son for who he is.

The woman answered “yes.”

“You should definitely let him know that you love and accept him!” Coley said. “I think everything will be OK from there!”

The woman thanked Coley for her input and they parted ways.

Later that night, in the early hours of Jan. 19, Coley decided to post the entire interaction to her Facebook page, noting how “random” it all had been.

In the days following, her post went viral, amassing over 1,500 likes and hundreds of shares.

So I got the most random phone call at the bar tonight! 😀Me:Good evening Thankyou for calling Sipps!Lady on phone: Is…
Posted by Kara Coley on Friday, January 19, 2018

The post’s comment section soon filled with love and gratitude for Coley’s simple but endearing answer.

“My heart is truly touched by this,” one Facebook user wrote. “A parent wanting to support correctly, and a beautiful response. This is progress. This is love and acceptance in the rawest form.”

“Kara, this old granny lesbian is so grateful for you, and for a parent that thought outside the box to get advice!” another user chimed in. “Keep being you!”

“[The response] has been amazing,” Coley writes. She believes her post struck a chord with friends and strangers alike because people are looking for encouraging news: “Every day people wake up and there’s so much negativity in the world — people just need a breath of fresh air!”

For parents to an LGBTQ child, it’s still vital to understand the facts too, Coley noted: “Educate yourself [on LGBTQ issues] and do a little research.”

Ideally, parents should have access to better resources than their local gay bar when it comes to getting help with LGBTQ parenting. At the end of the day, though, the best thing you can do as a parent is make sure your kid understands you’re there through thick and thin.

“Just knowing you have someone in your corner takes a little weight off your shoulders,” Coley wrote.

Learn more about being a good ally as a parent of an LGBTQ child at PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). If you’re a young LGBTQ person who needs help, resources are available at The Trevor Project.


This article originally appeared on January 24, 2018

Categories
News Trending Viral Worldwide

Badass bikers show up for abused children, offering advocacy and protection

When you are a child who has been abused by people who are supposed to protect you, how do you feel safe?

That question is the heart of Bikers Against Child Abuse International (B.A.C.A.), an organization dedicated to creating “a safer environment for abused children.” With specific training and extensive security checks, the frequently big and burly members of B.A.C.A. serve as protectors of chid abuse survivors, giving vulnerable children people to call on when they feel scared, and even showing up in court when a child asks them to.


In short, they become an abused child’s “biker family,” and they let the child—and everyone else—know that no one messes with their family.

As the B.A.C.A. mission statement says:

“We exist as a body of Bikers to empower children to not feel afraid of the world in which they live. We stand ready to lend support to our wounded friends by involving them with an established, united organization. We work in conjunction with local and state officials who are already in place to protect children. We desire to send a clear message to all involved with the abused child that this child is part of our organization, and that we are prepared to lend our physical and emotional support to them by affiliation, and our physical presence. We stand at the ready to shield these children from further abuse. We do not condone the use of violence or physical force in any manner, however, if circumstances arise such that we are the only obstacle preventing a child from further abuse, we stand ready to be that obstacle.”

B.A.C.A. members do whatever they can to make abused kids feel safe, which is huge for children who have been hurt, especially by the adults who are supposed to love and protect them.

First, they set up an initial ride to welcome a child into the biker family. Kids are offered a vest and a patch, which they have the option of accepting or not—there’s never pressure put on a child. They take a photograph with the child, which the child keeps to remind them that they have family to call on whenever they feel afraid. They serve as escorts when kids feel frightened to go somewhere. They show up at court hearings to help kids feel less intimidated. They come to kids’ houses when called to help support the family or serve as a deterrent for further abuse.

Though B.A.C.A. absolutely does not physically confront perpetrators, simply their presence provides the message that a child has a band of protectors behind them. Watch these bikers in action:

2019 Bikers Against Child Abuse International informational video. Visit www.bacaworld.org or find us on Facebook – Bikers Against Child Abuse International

And check out the B.A.C.A creed to see how dedicated these folks are to this work:

“I am a Member of Bikers Against Child Abuse. The die has been cast. The decision has been made. I have stepped over the line. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past has prepared me, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I’m finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by the faith in my works, and lean on the strength of my brothers and sisters. I love with patience, live by prayer, and labor with power.

My fate is set, my gait is fast, my goal is the ultimate safety of children. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are tried and true, my Guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won’t give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and showed up for all wounded children. I must go until I drop, ride until I give out, and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me, for He will see my B.A.C.A. backpatch and know that I am one of His. I am a Member of Bikers Against Child Abuse, and this is my creed.”

This article originally appeared on 03.05.20

Categories
News Trending Viral Worldwide

Why this grandmother’s advice went viral and is so very needed right now

There’s no shortage of advice for getting through difficult times. Unfortunately, most of that advice is either painfully unrealistic or reeks of toxic positivity. Solid advice that is both helpful and comforting is hard to come by, which is why this advice is going viral for all the right reasons.

The advice comes from Elena Mikhalkova—or rather her Mikhalkova’s grandmother—and it goes like this:


My grandmother once gave me a tip:

In difficult times, you move forward in small steps.

Do what you have to do, but little by little.

Don’t think about the future, or what may happen tomorrow.

Wash the dishes.

Remove the dust.

Write a letter.

Make a soup.

You see?

You are advancing step by step.

Take a step and stop.

Rest a little.

Praise yourself.

Take another step.

Then another.

You won’t notice, but your steps will grow more and more.

And the time will come when you can think about the future without crying.

Can we all just pause for a minute to take a deep breath and maybe wipe the tears from our eyes? Because I don’t know about you, but this advice is just what I’ve needed to read almost every day lately.

I suspect I’m not alone in this either because Mikhalkova’s advice is being shared all over the internet.

.

With COVID-19 raging again and many of us (dare I say, all of us?) struggling with one thing or another, this quote hits. Unlike the clichéd “one foot in front of another” advice that can seem both demeaning and overwhelming, this advice offers concrete steps to take.

Wash the dishes. Make soup. Rest, and praise yourself.

These are things I can do. Well, maybe not soup, per se. But cookies. I can make cookies. And maybe you can make soup. Or knit a scarf. Or sweep the kitchen floor. This is enough.

What this advice taps into that other tidbits lose sight of is that when we’re in the midst of a calamity, even the most simple and everyday tasks are more difficult. Making lunch can seem monumental and the mere thought of doing virtual school for another few weeks can make us take to our beds, sobbing in the fetal position. Advice to “look on the bright side” can be patronizing and counterproductive. This advice does none of those things but, instead, acknowledges that even a small step matters. It doesn’t dismiss the pain, but recognizes that even thinking about the future can be painful and that progress sometimes looks like making it through the day without crying

This advice also goes beyond the “sun will come out tomorrow” reminders and acknowledges that things might not be better tomorrow or the day after that. It will take time for wounds to heal and difficult times to pass, but we need not passively wait for this time to come. We can make soup, rest and be kind to ourselves.

In the early days of the pandemic, I remember feeling like there was so much more I should be doing with all this extra “at home” time. Yet I found even the most basic tasks to be more difficult. In turn, I felt guilty for not being more productive. But what I’ve learned—or rather am learning—is that allostatic load and decision fatigue are very real. Productivity looks different on different days, and sometimes being patient with ourselves is the most productive thing we can do.

Mikhalkova’s advice taps into a mantra that I often recite when I’m struggling: Just do one good thing. Unload the dishwasher. Return an email. Fold the laundry. Hug my kids. Then do the next good thing. Eventually these things add up. Time passes and small steps turn into something bigger.

What I love most about Mikhalkova’s advice—and what is easy to forget in difficult times—is the reminder to praise ourselves along the way. Because sometimes that pat on the back we need the most is our own.

This article originally appeared on 02.07.22


Christine Organ is a writer who lives in the Chicago area with her husband, two sons, and rescue dog. You can find her on Facebook and Instagram.