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Eben’s Holiday Playlist Helps Him Get Into A State Of Zen

Eben doesn’t have to go far for an epic holiday light show. “We have the best light show in the country at the Cincinnati Zoo and I go every year,” he tells Uproxx over email. It’s part of an annual celebration that starts with the traditional Christmas breakfast and ends with the entire family lounging around the house in matching pajamas “Last Christmas me and my Meemaw got super drunk off of mimosas before 10 am. My mom came in and yelled at us to pull our shit together so we could open presents.”

Holiday music is a comfort blanket for Eben that helps him to get in what he calls “a state of zen.” “Nothing more nostalgic than Christmas music.” To get in the holiday spirit, Eben sat down to list his favorite seasonal tunes in the final Uproxx holiday playlist series. Check out all of his picks, as well as the full playlist, down below.

Brenda Lee – “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree”

This is my favorite Christmas song ever it reminds me of every happy childhood Christmas memory.

Bobby Helms – “Jingle Bell Rock”

This one reminds me of walking through Macy’s around Christmas and taking a picture with Santa at the mall.

Justin Bieber – “Mistletoe”

This one is just undeniably incredible. If you don’t have this in your Christmas playlist it’s disrespectful.

Frank Sinatra – “Let It Snow! Let Is Snow! Let It Snow!”

If this song had a smell it would be a warm home-cooked meal.

Perry Como, The Fontane Sisters – “It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas”

This song reminds me of baking cookies with my meemaw when I was younger.

Burl Ives – “Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer”

When I was younger I was in a show called A Christmas Carole and we would always sing this song after the show in the park for families.

Eartha Kitt – “Santa Baby”

This one straight gets me going.

Nat King Cole – “Deck The Halls”

I remember singing this in my school choir in 6 grade our harmonies were elite.

Eben is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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Vocal Anti-Vaxxer Marjorie Taylor Greene Owns Stock In All Three Major Vaccine Companies

Like most hyper-partisan Republicans in Congress, Marjorie Taylor Greene has a been fierce critic of the COVID vaccine and basically any sort of pandemic restrictions. (She’s reportedly racked up an insanely large amount of fines for refusing to mask on the House floor.) However, despite being such a vocal anti-vaxxer that she was suspended from Twitter for spreading misinformation earlier in the year, Greene doesn’t seem to have a problem with owning stock in three major pharmaceutical companies who make the COVID vaccine.

Via Business Insider:

Greene holds stock in AstraZeneca, Pfizer, and Johnson & Johnson, each worth between $1,000 and $15,000, according to an August 13, 2020, filing from Greene with the clerk of the House of Representatives.

The discovery was made as part of Insider’s Conflicted Congress project, which revealed that multiple US lawmakers held stock in vaccine makers as the pandemic raged in 2020.

Earlier in the year, Greene told Insider, “I have an independent investment advisor that has full discretionary authority on my accounts. I do not direct any trades.” While that may be true, it speaks to Greene’s hypocrisy that she hasn’t made an effort to divest herself of the stocks considering her stance that the vaccines are a societal evil.

Just this past weekend, Greene told a crowd at the Turning Points USA AmericaFest, “I’m not vaccinated, and they’re going to have a hell of a time if they want to hold me down and give me a vaccine.” And, yet, she doesn’t seem to mind profiting from those vaccines.

(Via Business Insider)

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Black-Owned Brands That Are Changing The Drinks Space

The Western drinks industry is painfully white. A large reason for that is that our modern ways of making and selling beer, wine, and spirits all derive from European commerce that spread around the world on the back of Indigenous and Black labor (and often ideas). But 2021 isn’t 1605 and the world of beer, wine, and spirits are (finally) changing, with more Black-owned breweries, wineries, and distillers (and blenders) working to reshape their respective industries than ever before.

To help you find and support Black-owned drinks brands, we’re calling out some of our favorites to add to your rotation. Buying your beer, wine, rum, or whiskey from these brands offers a chance to 1) drink something truly delicious, 2) engage in the history of these unique companies (while buzzed!), and 3) support the movement for Black equity and ownership in the drinks space. Check out the seven entries below and let us know in the comments if you’ve got a Black-owned brand that deserves more shine in 2022!

Weathered Souls Brewing Co.

Weathered Souls Brewing Co.
Weathered Souls Brewing Co.

The Brand:

In all of Texas, there are less than a handful of Black brewers. Among them, Marcus Baskerville of Weathered Souls Brewing Co. is the only Black-owner. In 2020, Baskerville wanted to not only make a change in the beer industry but combine that passion with social change. So in response to the killings of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, Baskerville decided to bridge the gap between the Black community and beer by creating a beer literally called Black is Beautiful.

The Change It Brings:

Black is Beautiful is a stout recipe that Baskerville created and then freely shared with other brewers with one condition. However brewed, the beer had to give 100 percent of the proceeds to local organizations that support equality, inclusion, and social justice reform. At the same time, Baskerville encouraged brewers to put their own spin on the recipe and to have the beer inspire conversation and awareness about the issues affecting the Black community and lack of inclusivity in beer.

It’s taken off. More than 1200 breweries are participating and have raised more than 2 million dollars so far. Weathered Souls chose 100 Black Men of Sant Antonio, TX as their beneficiary and have raised over 35 thousand dollars to provide mentorship and safe spaces for young Black men in their community. Others have donated to Humanize My Hoodie, California Innocence Project, Austin Justice Coalition, the NAACP, and many more.

You can find a version of Black is Beautiful all over the country at various breweries and select Walmarts.

McBride Sisters Collection

McBride Sisters
McBride Sisters Collection

The Brand:

McBride Sisters Collection, helmed by sisters Robin McBride and Andréa McBride John, has become an empire in the wine world. As soon as they could, the McBrides decided to give back with the hope of empowering other women to become leaders in the very male-dominated space. They created SHE CAN Wine in 2019, which is both a delicious line of canned wine and a way to support their foundation, The McBride Sisters SHE CAN Fund.

The Change It Brings:

The SHE CAN Fund awards scholarships to close the gender and race gap in wine production. To date, 42 women have been awarded scholarships worth over 340 thousand dollars. Look, I didn’t want to sip delicious Rosé all day, but I’m a good feminist. So, I’m just doing my part!

Shop The McBride Sisters Collection here.

Du Nord Craft Spirits

Du Nord Craft Spirits
Du Nord Craft Spirits

The Brand:

Chris Montana’s Du Nord Craft Spirits was America’s first Black-owned distillery and their motto says it all, “Make good. Do Good.” Montana set out to make spirits in the middle of Minneapolis that blended his wife’s rural farm upbringing with his own love of the city while using his platform to diversify alcohol distilling. Since 2020, he’s stepped up even more. When George Floyd was murdered in Minneapolis, the following protests and unrest led to the Du Nord warehouse being burned down. As he looked to bounce back from the damage, Montana decided to help rebuild his city as a whole, rather than just his own little corner of it.

The Change It Brings:

In response to the tragedy, Montana founded the Du Nord Foundation to help BIPOC business owners and address racial inequities in the Twin Cities. Since then, they’ve worked to invest in rebuilding the community by providing financial support for minority small business owners and promoting BIPOC business and property ownership while still crafting some damn fine spirits.

Shop DuNord Craft Spirits here.

Crown & Hops Brewing Co.

Crowns & Hops Brewing Co.
Crowns & Hops Brewing Co.

The Brand:

Beny Ashburn and Teo Hunter, Crowns & Hops’ co-founders, don’t want to copy culture, they want to be the culture. And as such, they’ve made it their mission to blend their love of craft beer with their community. The Inglewood-based beer brand even named a beer, “Black People Love Beer,” to raise awareness and spark conversation about the lack of inclusion for both consumers and brewers in the craft beer industry.

The Change It Brings:

Ashburn and Hunter want to change beer culture to its core by being a central part of their community as a brewery and brand. They’re helping build their neighborhood by creating family-friendly spaces and providing economic growth for communities of color all while having a pretty fantastic beer in hand.

Shop Crown and Hops here.

Uncle Nearest

Screen-Shot-2021-06-09-at-2.41.47-PM.jpg
Uncle Nearest

The Brand:

Uncle Nearest Premium Whiskey’s namesake is a fantastic part of whiskey history. Nearest Green started distilling as an enslaved laborer. After being freed, Green became the first master distiller for Jack Daniel and taught him how to make whiskey. While this history is little-known outside of the whiskey-drinking community, it’s always been at the core of Jack Daniel’s brand.

When Fawn Weaver read about that in 2016, she knew she wanted to honor “Uncle” Nearest Green, so she bought land in Tennesee to found a distillery. Since then, the award-winning Uncle Nearest whiskey has become the fastest-growing American Whiskey brand in U.S. history with Victoria Eady Butler, Nearest Green’s great-great-granddaughter, in the role of the brand’s Master Blender.

The Change It Brings:

Uncle Nearest is about more than just making award-winning whiskey. Weaver is working to make whiskey more inclusive for women. 50 percent of Uncle Nearest’s customers are women, chiseling away at the idea that whiskey is for men (honestly, who still thinks like this?).

This year, on the 100th anniversary of the Tulsa massacre, Weaver pledged a 50-million-dollar fund to invest in minority-founded spirit brands. They’ve given out 2 million dollars so far. You can read about that program and support it here.

Lastly, any descendent of Nearest Green is entitled to a full college scholarship from Uncle Nearest’s proceeds. That’s a powerful statement in an industry that relies heavily on heritage.

Shop Uncle Nearest here.

Black Momma Vodka

Black Momma Vodka
Black Momma Vodka

The Brand:

Vanessa Braxton is one of the first African American women to become a Master Distiller/Blender, owner, and operator of a nationally distributed vodka in the United States with Black Momma Vodka. The former engineer and Harvard graduate decided to pursue her passion for alcohol in 2012 and since then her brand has spread throughout the whole world.

The Change It Brings:

In 2020, Braxton stepped up to produce hand sanitizer, using her Long Island distillery to support the greater good. It’s a brand you can feel good about supporting as they’ve actively been a part of the solution to the pandemic we all wish would end.

Shop Black Momma Vodka here.

Brough Brothers

Brough Brothers
Brough Brothers

The Brand:

Brough Brothers is Kentucky’s first black-owned distillery. The brothers — Victor, Bryson, and Chris Yarbrough — have been working tirelessly to build a distillery and brand in the heart of whiskey country. And they’re killing it. Their first bourbon release made it onto our list of the 50 best bourbons of 2021. Beyond the beautiful whiskey they’re putting out, the brothers are also working to revitalize West Louisville and their community.

The Change It Brings:

West Louisville is the most economically depressed section of the city. The Yarbrough brothers decided to build their distillery right in the middle of the neighborhood to both infuse jobs and bring in tourism (for distillery tours). While the whiskey is great (we stand by that), when you buy a bottle of Brough Brothers Bourbon or take a tour of their distillery, you’re helping a neighborhood’s revitalization without supporting gentrification. That’s a win-win-win all around.

Buy Brough Brothers here.

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Bourbon Whiskeys (And One Rye) We Should Have Talked About More This Year

It’s no secret that we talk about whiskey a lot around here. But even with lists of our favorite bourbons, ryes, and scotches reaching into triple digits, we still miss a bottle or two. That’s why I’m calling out nine more bourbon whiskeys — and one more rye! — that I’ve personally underhyped this year.

Look at it this way, I’ve tasted somewhere around 1,000 whiskeys this year (and that doesn’t even count other spirits, beer, wines, cocktails, etc.). Sometimes, bottles simply fall through the cracks. That doesn’t mean they’re not worthy of our attention, time, or money. It just means that there’s a lot out there, folks, and covering it all is… pretty much impossible.

The nine bottles of bourbon whiskey below are bottles that I think deserve a little more attention than they received. I also added a rye whiskey at the end because I really think it’s worth a little more attention too. I may have reviewed other bottles from some of these brands but these are bottles of whiskey that I haven’t written about previously but still definitely dig.

Cool? Let’s dive in.

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of 2021

Smoke Wagon Uncut Unfiltered Bourbon

Smoke Wagon Uncut Unfiltered
Smoke Wagon

ABV: Varies

Average Price: $75

The Whiskey:

Smoke Wagon is one of those brands that suddenly seems like it’s everywhere. That’s thanks, in part, to co-founder Aaron Chepenik for killing it on IG. The other part of the brand’s meteoric rise is that Smoke Wagon’s crew is masterfully blending some of the best barrels from MGP of Indiana that were made available.

Case in point, the latest batch from the company was a high-rye bourbon (60 percent corn, 36 percent rye, and four percent malted barley) that was an instant hit.

Tasting Notes:

Based on Batch 29 from early this year, expect a nose full of classic bourbon notes of orange oils, cinnamon stewed apples, caramel with a touch of salt, and peachy wood chips. The palate really embraces the fruit and moves from that peach vibe towards a blackberry crumble that’s just kissed with nutmeg and clove that leads towards a hint of old leather, singed cedar planks, and a late hint of cherry-touched tobacco. That leather, berry tobacco, and cedar drives the finish towards a dry end.

Bottom Line:

This is classic bourbon that’s just generally cool (bottle, vibe, flavor notes). The price point isn’t too high for the quality of this blend. For those who mix drinks, this works wonders in an old fashioned thanks to that orange and berry vibe.

Yellowstone Select

Yellowstone Select
Luxco

ABV: 46.5%

Average Price: $44

The Whiskey:

Stephen Beam is working some serious magic from his tiny Limestone Branch Distillery. While we really love his limited-edition releases, we’ve slept on his standard-bearer, Yellowstone Select. The whiskey is a blend of four to seven-ish-year-old barrels with a mash bill Beam keeps to himself. While the whiskey is mostly produced by Beam at Limestone Branch, the barrels are stored at Luxco’s massive property down the road.

Tasting Notes:

This is a classic on the nose as soft and sweet oak mingles with vanilla pods, caramel apples, a hint of singed marshmallow, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The palate lingers in a bowl of fresh peaches and rich cream infused with vanilla as almost sweet suede leads towards a tiny note of spicy streusel. The finish is straightforward and dries out with a cedar box full of vanilla-laced tobacco leaves, a hint of Cherry Coke, and a dusting of fine white pepper.

Bottom Line:

This feels like a great “table bourbon” or everyday sipper and mixer that’s taken up a notch. It’s refined but approachable. It’s light but well-hewn. It’s just nice, folks.

Penelope Bourbon Barrel Strength

Penelope Barrel
Penelope Bourbon

ABV: 57.6% (Batch 7)

Average Price: $65

The Whiskey:

Penelope Bourbon is another great example of what a master blender can do with MGP whiskey. In this case, three barrels were blended — aged three to five years — to create a barrel strength expression that highlights the quality of those casks. The final product ended up being a four-grain bourbon with a mash bill of 74 percent corn, 16 percent wheat, seven percent rye, and three percent malted barley.

Tasting Notes:

The nose on this bursts forth with peaches, red berries, blueberry, and an almost savory gooseberry next to cotton candy, a touch of toffee, and very light-yet-sweet oak. The palate shines as the peaches and berries combine to make a sort of summer fruit crumble with plenty of butter, dark sugar, and spice alongside a thin line of soft leather, rich vanilla, and more of that sweet oak. The mid-palate sweetens with more cotton candy before diving into a warming and spicy finish that keeps the spice sweet and subtle.

Bottom Line:

If you’re looking for a unique MGP bourbon to try, this is the bottle for you. It’s so bright and fruity while still feeling like a rich and classic bourbon. It’s also an excellent highball whiskey thanks to that bright fruit.

Basil Hayden Toast

Basil Hayden Toast
Beam Suntory

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $55

The Whiskey:

This year, Beam released a new Basil Hayden’s that changed the brand’s finishing game as well as the mash bill. While Hayden’s was generally the same high-rye mash bill as Old Grand-dad Bourbon, this expression is built around brown rice instead of rye with a mash bill of 63 percent corn, 27 percent brown rice, and ten percent malted barley. The final product comes with no age statement and is proofed down to Hayden’s signature 40 percent after a secondary maturation in a toasted oak barrel.

Tasting Notes:

There’s a burnt marshmallow note on the nose that’s very inviting next to buttery cinnamon wheat toast, a touch of dry pine, and a light wet brown sugar sweetness. The taste bursts with rich butterscotch hard candy next to roasted almonds, cherry-soaked cinnamon sticks, and an almost smoky note of cedar bark. The finish arrives pretty quickly and has an almost Nutella vibe with hints of raw leather and dry and dark spices lingering on the short end.

Bottom Line:

This is one of those sips that feels all over the place at first but then somehow comes together like the prestige of a magic trick. It just makes sense and tastes pretty damn unique overall, while still feeling like a very easy-drinking bourbon. Again, though, I’d really recommend this more for mixing and sipping on the rocks than a neat dram by the fire.

Chattanooga Bottled-In-Bond Vintage Series, Spring 2017

Chattanooga BiB
Chattanooga

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $55

The Whiskey:

Just to be clear, yes, this is Tennessee whiskey. But, remember, all Tennessee whiskey is bourbon by definition and law. This particular whiskey was made back in spring 2017 and released this year. The whiskey is a blend of four mash bills that all feature specialty malts ranging from honey malts to peated barley to naked oats to chocolate roasted barley to caramel malts and many more. The throughline is yellow corn, bonded warehouse aging, and proofing down to 50 percent ABV.

Tasting Notes:

You get all those grains on the nose with rich toffee, dark chocolate-covered sweet and tart berries, malted vanilla milkshake, and a hint of yellow masa. The palate sweetens like honey dripping on a buttery southern biscuit while hints of soft leather mingle with cherry tobacco and this very distant whisper of hickory smoker smoke. The sweetness of that woody smoke dissipates quickly as hints of dry cedar mix with cherry tobacco leaves and a mix of vanilla pods and allspice berries bring a mild warmth.

Bottom Line:

This sip is a bit of a rollercoaster of flavors that’s, well, thrilling. You’ll definitely want to let this bloom with a little water or a rock, but you’ll be in for a great ride.

Elijah Craig Beer Barrel Finish

Elijah Craig Beer Barrel
Heaven Hill

ABV: 47%

Average Price: $40 (200ml bottle)

The Whiskey:

This very limited edition, distillery-only release from Heaven Hill takes their classic bourbon (78 percent corn, 12 percent malted barley, and ten percent rye) and finishes in a beer barrel for about nine months. In this case, Elijah Craig Small Batch barrels were sent to Goose Island Brewery to age their famed Goose Island Bourbon County Stout. Those barrels were sent back to Kentucky and re-filled with Elijah Craig Small Batch for those aforementioned nine months before proofing and bottling in cool little 200ml bottles.

Tasting Notes:

The stout comes through immediately on the nose with a matrix of chocolate malts, rich and buttery toffee, light eggnog spices, oily vanilla beans, and a hint of beer-soaked wood. The palate lets that chocolate malt shine as chocolate-infused Graham Crackers lead towards an almost creamy vanilla-laden eggnog with plenty of nutmeg and allspice mingles with a hint more of that wet wood. The finish really delivers on the “stout-aged” vibes as the chocolate bitters towards a long end full of subtle dark spices, toffee candies, and sweet oak with a hint of old leather.

Bottom Line:

This is technically a late 2020 release, but I got to try it this year, so here we are. Anyway, this is really solid for a beer-barrel-finished bourbon. In fact, I’d rank this amongst the best in the category. Now, actually finding one of these is a totally different story.

Wild Turkey Aged 13 Years Father & Son

Wild Turkey 13
Campari Group

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $400

The Whiskey:

This is classic Wild Turkey left alone for over a decade before father and son team Jimmy and Eddie Russell build this whiskey together. The juice is standard Turkey with a mash bill of 75 percent corn, 13 percent rye, and 12 percent malted barley that’s left to age in their rickhouses until they’re just right. The whiskey is made to lean into Wild Turkey notes more than the Distiller’s Reserve 13 and this year’s Russell’s Reserve 13.

Tasting Notes:

The whiskey opens with this medley of rich cherry tobacco next to well-worn leather gloves, singed dried rose petals, dried peach skins, smudged sweetgrass, and orange blossoms with a hint of dark and powdery spice. The palate turns the cherry into a cobbler with plenty of toffee and vanilla pudding next to a slight note of crafty root beer that’s more sassafras than sugar while an almost mossy and black-dirt-ground tree bark arrives late. The finish takes on the darkness and earthiness and builds towards a sweetened yet still slightly bitter black tea, smoked honey, and maybe a hint of dried mint, Tellicherry black peppercorns, and more of that worn leather.

Bottom Line:

If you can find this, it’ll be pretty mind-blowing. This is the bottle I bring out when I want to take someone on a great journey while also championing Wild Turkey as a brand of whiskey that always wows. Just make sure to let some water let this one bloom in the glass so you can really dive deep into all those flavors.

Four Gate Whiskey Company Batch 4 Split Stave by Kelvin

Four Gate Kelvin
Four Gate

ABV: 57.8%

Average Price: $175

The Whiskey:

Four Gate is one of those brands that whiskey nerds will throw you under the bus to get their hands on. The juices’ source is kept under wraps and the bottles are usually only released in Kentucky and maybe Tennessee, adding to the mythos. This batch really ups the ante by having famed cooperage Kelvin Cooperage step in to finish the whiskey with a special mix of their staves. The short story is that Kelvin’s team dismantled toasted barrels with #2 and #4 char levels and used those staves to build new barrels alternating the char on the staves.

Tasting Notes:

The barrel 100 percent comes through on the nose with a light bitter char next to sweet oaky notes, a buttery burnt caramel sauce, and a load of rich vanilla that feels like pods soaked in vanilla brandy before being wrapped up in vanilla-laced tobacco leaves and stored in an old cedar box. Red Hots and clove buds arrive late and drive the finish towards a woody, spicy, and slightly sweet toffee end with plenty of nuanced warmth to keep you feeling this sip for a while.

Bottom Line:

This is one of the most wood-forward whiskeys I’ve had in a while. It’s unabashedly in your face with that dark toasty wood but it sort of works. The sweet balances that bitter char really well and you’re left with a one-of-a-kind whiskey tasting experience.

George Remus Bourbon

George Remus Bourbon
Luxco

ABV: 47%

Average Price: $42

The Whiskey:

While we loved Remus Reserve V this year, this entry-point bottle deserves a lot more attention. The juice is MGP’s bourbon but they don’t let us know the mash bill or how long these barrels age before they go into the batch. We can guess it’s a low-rye mash bill due to this being very fruit-forward. But that’d just be an educated guess at this point.

Tasting Notes:

The nose is full of berry brambles heavy with sweet, tart, and dark berries, thorny stems, green leaves, and even a little dark soil next to Cherry Coke with a hint of spicy and a touch of sweet oak. The cherry morphs into a syrupy and spicy cherry pie with a lard crust next to hints of vanilla pudding, brittle toffee, and more of that soft and sweet oak. The finish is short and sweet and really highlights that cherry while layering in new leather, more oak, and nice and lush vanilla cream.

Bottom Line:

This is just a solid all-around whiskey. It’s great in a cocktail but also works easily as a sipper on the rocks. You can’t beat the price or the quality of this one.

Plus One More Rye: BLACKENED x Willett

BLACKENED x Willett
BLACKENED

ABV: 54.8%

Average Price: $155

The Whiskey:

This new release from Metallica’s BLACKENED is a masterful collaboration with Willett. The rye is a blend of whiskeys that were aged around six or seven years (with one barrel up to eight years old) that are vatted and then finished Madeira casks. After an undisclosed amount of time mellowing in those casks, the whiskey is then bottled as-is at cask strength.

Tasting Notes:

This is a berry bomb on the nose with raspberries mingling with Bing cherries, blackberry, and maybe even some tart red currants while this strawberry-mint vibe veers the nose towards a hint of burnt spices. The taste leans into fruit with a strawberry-rhubarb cobbler feel next to plenty of vanilla, bitter cacao nibs, cherry-kissed oak, and a hint of, I want to say, Chardonnay. The savory and tart end of the fruits really kicks in late with figs and more rhubarb leading the charge towards a subtly sweet and spicy end that’s like a spicy plum pudding wrapped in a cherry tobacco leaf.

Bottom Line:

Yes, these are expensive. But they’re also so unique and well-crafted, especially this rye. There’s really nothing else quite like this out there and that alone makes it worth seeking out — even if only to expand your palate.

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A Florida Man Who Was Arrested With Coke And Meth Wrapped Around His Penis Swears It Isn’t His

If you’re ever caught smuggling drugs on your person (not that we’d ever condone that), we can all learn a little somethin’ from Patrick Florence—namely, that junk on your junk is a bad idea. As Raw Story reports, the 34-year-old Florida man was pulled over by police early Saturday morning for driving a car that that did not have its lights on. But things only got worse from there when, according to Orlando Weekly, Florence was “arrested by police for DUI and possession of marijuana. A search of the car uncovered a gun under Florence’s seat.”

The discovery of these items led police to search further, right down into the suspect’s pants, where deputies discovered bags of cocaine and methamphetamines wrapped around Florence’s phallus. According to the police report, however, the suspect “stated the package wrapped around his penis was not his.” Florence apparently did not elaborate much further, meaning that he did not say who the drugs in question belonged to and/or if he was aware that he was driving around with a crotch full of coke.

One has to imagine that it would have been hard for a stranger to gain access to the man’s member without him noticing, but we are not here to make assumptions or judge.

As Raw Story helpfully notes: “Hiding drugs in the crotch is not a new practice. In 2012, one case made national news after a Philadelphia man was found with 89 bags of cannabis tied to his penis.”

And to all a good night…

(Via Raw Story)

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Tom Holland Mocks Mark Wahlberg’s Mustache In The New ‘Uncharted’ Trailer

Tom Holland had an eventful 2021. He’s in what’s likely to become the highest-grossing movie of the year; he’s dating Zendaya (even though they were both told not to); and he made a young Spider-Man fan’s dream come true. His 2022 will be packed, too, including playing Fred Astaire in a biopic about the legendary actor/dancer/singer and starring in Uncharted, based on the popular video game series of the same name.

On Thursday, Sony released a new trailer for the action-adventure film, which is a step-up from the first trailer. Not only does Holland get to do Spider-Man stuff, what with all the jumping, but we also see Mark Wahlberg’s Sully mustache for the first time. This is important for people who care too much about video games (me).

Here’s the official plot synopsis:

Street-smart thief Nathan Drake is recruited by seasoned treasure hunter Victor “Sully” Sullivan to recover a fortune lost by Ferdinand Magellan 500 years ago. What starts as a heist job for the duo becomes a globe-trotting, white-knuckle race to reach the prize before the ruthless Moncada, who believes he and his family are the rightful heirs. If Nate and Sully can decipher the clues and solve one of the world’s oldest mysteries, they stand to find $5 billion in treasure and perhaps even Nate’s long-lost brother… but only if they can learn to work together.

Uncharted, which also stars Sophia Ali as Chloe and Antonio Banderas, opens on February 18.

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Tom Lennon On Making A ‘Horny Weirdos On A Boat’ Movie With ‘Reno 911! The Hunt For QAnon’

QAnon conspiracy cosplay is front and center in Reno 911! The Hunt For QAnon, the latest chapter of the Reno 911! saga… saga, I like that. It has been 18 years since Tom Lennon, Robert Ben Garant, Kerri Kinney-Silver, and company kicked off their weird meditation on police work (and whatever else has come into their orbit). Now, the former Comedy Central standout turned movie turned Quibi and Roku headliner is heading to Paramount+ for its 2nd film with a focus on tracking down the infamous Q. But according to Lennon, we shouldn’t take this as a political film. It’s more an exploration into the ridiculousness of some of the “larger than life” characters that have filled the news recently and what happens when they run into the gang from the Reno Sherriff’s Department.

We spoke with Lennon about all of that, getting flat out denied in efforts to film on a specific cruise ship, never trying to write what he thinks other people will think is funny, and the nude British people who had a formative effect on him and his career.

What were some of the changes and challenges of doing this versus the season with Quibi? I think when we had talked last time, it was almost sketch-based where this is more of a full narrative story.

I love that. Thank you for saying it’s a full narrative story because that’s definitely a tiny bit true. I feel like whenever we make a movie, which is twice now, there is a pretty solid argument that it really is also a sketch movie. Which in many ways goes back to what the show was always meant to be.

The very weird way that the movie has a plot is Paramount came to us and they said, “Do you want to make a feature-length movie for Paramount+?” We’re like, “Obviously, of course we do.” And then they said, “Great. So it’s called Reno 911! The Hunt for QAnon.” And we’re like, wait a second. Did you just tell us what the title of the movie is? No one does that. You can’t do that, right? Can you? That’s crazy.

Does that come out of a machine? How do they generate a title?

Did one of the manatees bump it by the nose into a tank? There was a big debate between me and Ben [Robert Ben Garant] and Kerri [Kenney-Silver]. It’s like, is that something we could, that’s funny? What are we doing? Can we even… Is there any universe that we could turn Reno 911: The Hunt for QAnon into something that both feels like a kind of satisfying movie and is hilarious? But also, if you know us, we’re not particularly political people in this show. So I think the biggest surprise to all of us, was reverse engineering a movie from a batshit crazy title. I feel like, and obviously, I’m a little close to it, but I feel like it completely worked.

It really does. But I imagine another part of the challenge is just making the fiction more outrageous than the reality.

Right. Which is, you know, we walk a very close line. And one thing that’s great is some of the Q folks that showed up this last year are a little bit larger than life, I think is a good way to put it.

Absolutely, yeah.

And in a weird way, as the Reno characters are also kind of larger than life. I feel like it could have been Reno Vs Q, or it could have been Reno 911! Vs The Muppets, because we all definitely exist in a world where the characters are bigger. You know what I mean?

I would like to see that if we can make that happen.

Hey, let’s see how this one goes, but so far, it seems like it’s going pretty well. So the challenges were… For us, doing this show, it’s always like, what have we not done before, mixed with what are we very good at? Which is sort of like inappropriate stuff. The stuff that’s always my favorite in Reno is usually not the biggest flashiest stuff. It’s like the deputies talking around a table. You’ll hear the weirdest… None of those conversations are ever written. None of them would ever be approved by anyone, ever. But that said, Paramount+… And even this last run that we’ve been doing, which is Quibi, Roku, to Paramount+, no one’s given us any content notes. At all. It’s been really kind of a joy.

The one thing that does frustrate me tremendously is like, I’ll put up the poster for the new movie on Paramount+, and people would be like, “I miss that show.” And then I’d have to say, there are 25 brand new of the best ones we’ve ever done on Roku right now. We didn’t hide them. They’re right there. I weirdly feel like we’ve hit sort of the golden era of Reno 911, between the Quibi shows which, while not that many people saw them, they got four Emmy nominations. We got a fan letter from Steven Spielberg, which was very cool. That was one of the coolest things that ever happened. And then of course it led to doing this new movie. So as much as Quibi seemed like a weird idea at the time, it led to, I think, some pretty cool stuff that’s coming out. Especially some of the Roku episodes, which there definitely are more coming out. I’m not allowed to say when they come out, but there are more.

So as you said, you guys don’t usually get too political.

We do not.

With this stuff (QAnon), it almost feels like it outpaces the word political. It is political by its nature, but also it’s just, there’s a reality versus fantasy sort of thing at play.

I think the only way you could think the movie is really political in some way is if you’re standing like one inch away from it, or if you just look at the title. But in a weird way that… The way that we do everything, is that what it’s actually about? Or is it about a bunch of horny weirdos on a boat? Ultimately we kind of take anything… We reduce everything to its absolute stupidest. We’re like the opposite of the Large Hadron Collider. [Laughs] We just smash shit until it becomes worse and worse and smaller and smaller. And then everything’s just about icky interpersonal relationships and horniness and a bunch of sad weirdos.

What was it that made the boat the right setting?

A lot of times we just kind of work backward. We’re like, how could you possibly make a Q movie work? Well, what if, and I can’t say verbatim this has probably happened, but I think it must have… If due to posts on message boards, Q, or somebody from Q, were to get accused of slander or libel? And sometimes you have to serve papers literally to a physical person for then show up in court. So we’re like, well, that makes just barely enough sense that we could hang a movie off of this. Just barely enough sense. And then we had been talking for a while about doing sort of a Poseidon Adventure type movie that was sort of based on a cruise line that I won’t name, because they would not like it. Because we actually asked if we could film on this really nice cruise line that shall remain unnamed. And they were like, “A million percent, you may not.” We’re like, “Hey, we’re going to do this funny scene where Dangle’s got diarrhea, but he’s also trapped in the water slide. So like, I’m nude in the water slide.” And they’re like, “There’s no universe where you’re doing this on any of our cruise ships.” And we’re like, “Well, wait a second, your cruise ships are closed for COVID and they’re full of viruses. And they’re like, “You would still be the worst thing on our empty cruise ships. No, you may not film on them, you gross, gross weirdos.”

It’s really just an excuse to surround ourselves with people like Kulap Vilaysack, who plays a pretty amazing role. Jay Pichardo, Gary Anthony Williams. I find if you look at most of the Reno films, which is just now two, and a lot of the show, most of the fun is when we are somewhere and people are just yelling at us. If you notice, every single thing… I think in this movie, Kulap, like the second I open my mouth, she slaps me so hard across the face. And I think those are my favorite kind of scenes to play.

Before you go, tell me a little about what’s going on with Ronan?

Ronan Boyle, the book series, the third one is done. The first one made the New York Times bestseller list. The second one has done well. And now Fergal Reilly, who directed a movie called Angry Birds, a great Irish animator, artist, and director is directing the Dreamworks feature. Little spoiler, which is just that, as the Smiths song goes, these things take time. So currently, it’s completely honest to tell you that Ronan Boyle And The Bridge of Riddles, the movie, will come out on Christmas Day, or Christmas Eve, maybe… I think Christmas Eve 2025.

So that’s a ways away.

The first book is dedicated to my son when he was little and now my son will hopefully be able to drive me to the premiere of the film when it comes out, even though he was a tiny child.

Your career is so diverse in terms of the tone of your work, what’s the hierarchy for you?

Well, I think what’s interesting is how much I don’t sort or compartmentalize what I generally do. And that’s gotten some, definitely some… Sometimes in the books, there’s some criticism, oh, like, hey, they’re like, “Hey, these Ronan Boyle books aren’t really for little kids.” And I’m like, “So what? Maybe not.” But when I was a kid, I always enjoyed the things that I was not necessarily invited to, but got to go to. This may go back to a very strange story. Which is when I was seven years old, we were in London. It was 1977 and I was seven. We would always go see plays every night. We saw a lot of plays. They were big theater people. So one night we saw Evita, and then the next night we saw the original production of Equus in London. And there are naked people on stage for like 20 minutes in Equus. And I remember as a kid thinking show business is amazing. I’m going to have something to do with this. But yeah. So I guess I got to see things early that were not always the most appropriate thing. The thing about comedy is once you’re there for a long time… I never divide my stuff for grownups or for kids. I just don’t. There is no difference to me. And I guess it’s because I’m a very immature grownup. Or I was a very mature kid. But I’ve been laughing at the same things.

You’ll find that kids laugh at the same things that you’re laughing at. I think actually some of the biggest misses that you see when people are attempting to do stuff is when they think… The main thing where people fail is they think, “Oh, someone would think that’s funny.” And you can say what you want about my writing career and my career for the most part, I almost never, if it was something I wrote, you’ll never see me trying to guess what someone else thinks is funny. And in the Reno movie, I think it’s a great example of, this is very funny to us. We wouldn’t pander to anybody nor would we really whitewash it. I mean, there’s some weird shit in this movie. But of course in the Reno 911 movie, it makes weirdly perfect sense.

‘Reno 911! The Hunt For QAnon’ is available to stream on Paramount+ and there are additional, recent episodes of ‘Reno 911!’ on Roku. Here’s an exclusive clip from the film.

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The Music World Pays Tribute To Iconic Writer Joan Didion Following Her Death

Joan Didion, iconic writer known for her works like Play It As It Lays and The White Album, has passed away at the age of 87. A groundbreaking journalist covering counter culture in the ’60s, ’70s, and beyond, Didion’s writing influenced generations after her, including many of today’s musicians. Mourning her passing and reflecting on her life’s work, many musicians took to Twitter to pay tribute to the iconic writer.

Some musicians had very heartfelt and touching response to the news about Didion’s passing. Phoebe Bridgers shared a passage from Didion’s essay “Goodbye To All That” about being in an unfamiliar place while adding “RIP Joan.”

Artists like Maggie Rogers, Best Coast, and Illuminati Hotties’ Sarah Tudzin reflected on how much Didion’s writing has meant to them over the years.

Charly Bliss had their own way of remembering the iconic writer. The band retweeted one of their tweets from last month that read, “Joan Didion should go on Hot Ones,” and simply added a few hearts for good measure.

Several other musicians also shared some thoughts on Didion’s passing including Aly & AJ, Speedy Ortiz’s Sadie Dupuis, Jenny Lewis, and more.

Some of the artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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Jazmine Sullivan’s ‘Heaux Tales’ Is A Classic Work Of Black Feminism

Upon posing on the daring album cover for Heaux Tales -– with a statuesque Jazmine Sullivan in her translucent biker shorts glory -– the Philly-bred singer-songwriter put longtime fans on notice that they were in for a new era. On Heaux Tales, Sullivan’s first effort in six years that comes in 5th in the 2021 Uproxx Music Critics Poll, she unlocks personal terrain through unflinching narratives of insecurities, sexual conquests, and materialism. Leading a fellowship of close friends who share spoken vignettes of their most esteemed and regrettable experiences as women, Heaux Tales finds Sullivan becoming a new vanguard of feminism in music, giving voice to Black women who are still in search of themselves.

On previous albums Fearless, Love Me Back, and Reality Show, Sullivan had all the makings of a rising soul icon, with ambitious songwriting, genre-bending production, and belty vocals. In comparison to Heaux Tales, her content was bereft of intimate portraits that she sought for Black women listeners, an intention that she aimed to reach during her post-Reality Show hiatus. Taking a breather from music to shake the aftereffects of leaving an abusive relationship, Sullivan returned with profound strength, seeking to interview her friends about their own trials in love and loss. With her sister circle willing to record their innermost thoughts and conversations as interludes on Heaux Tales, their words give an intrinsic, meditative texture to the EP.

In an Essence interview with Issa Rae, Sullivan spoke about the collaborative purpose behind Heaux Tales:

“For this project, it was important for me to share the stories of the women I love and hold dear to my heart. I feel like they are just as banging and dynamic as me. And I want to give space and opportunity to women, period. I feel like we get caught up in thinking there’s “only one” of us.”

Rapt with harrowing interludes that center one woman at a time — with gospel-tinged “Donna’s Tale” practically being a sermon on ‘tricking’ in relationships –- Heaux Tales is an R&B canon of solidarity. Mirroring spoken interludes in piercing, soul-baring song form, Sullivan honors the resilience of Black women, with respect for their most vulnerable musings. On album opener “Bodies,” she acts as a guilt-ridden conscience following a drunken night out and sobering morning where Sullivan doesn’t recognize who she’s woken up beside. While triggering, “Bodies” resonates with Black women who endure their own personal misogynoir about “pilin’ up bodies on bodies on bodies.”

Sullivan’s vocals act as a sinew for the expressive, conversational therapy of Heaux Tales, where listeners are invited to relate to honest monologues without shame. Raised by a playwright mother and poet grandmother, Sullivan closely followed her matriarch’s teachings, scripting emblematic ballads that trace each tale. Instead of Sullivan titling her friends’ ruminations as interludes, she lauds them as ‘tales,’ preserving their messages and putting them center stage.

In the introductory interlude, “Antoinette’s Tale,” Sullivan’s friend and podcaster Antoinette Henry tackles the patriarchy by revering women’s ownership over their sexuality. The interlude shifts into lead-single “Pick Up Your Feelings” a searing call to men to let go of control and broken relationship ties. Like the beatnik production on “Pick Up Your Feelings,” during the Heaux Tales performance round-up earlier this year, Sullivan was occasionally seen donning ’60s-esque mod attire and hairstyles, which can be interpreted as an homage to the legacy of Black women in R&B and soul.

Segueing into “Ari’s Tale,” narrated by Shea Butter Baby delight Ari Lennox, the singer recalls being mesmerized under the sexual dominance of a former partner, praising various deities and hypnotically repeating “this is just my truth.” Before joining Lennox on the salacious, sex-amped anthem “On It,” Sullivan grapples with sexual infatuation over haunting a Key Wane production on “Put It Down.” While controversial for its message of sponsoring undeserving men, “Put It Down” rings true with women who’ve been disoriented in the throes of lust.

Following “Donna’s Tale,” where Sullivan’s godmother Donna Anderson reveals lessons in ‘tricking,’ Heaux Tales lands into its sole collaboration with a male artist. Featuring Anderson .Paak, one-half of Silk Sonic, “Price Tags” is a raspy, harmonic ode to women getting their money up by taking advantage of naïve men.

“Price Tags” is trailed by “Rashida’s Tale” where Sullivan’s friend Rashida Northington describes a moment of infidelity where she cheated on her former fiancée with a friend of the couple. Sullivan’s vocals softly cascade in the background of Northington’s account, arriving at “Lost Ones” where the singer reveals that “sometimes it’s too late to make amends.” On Heaux Tales, there’s no room for judgment, just women coming face-to-face with deep-rooted taboos. There’s power in acceptance.

In an interview with Pitchfork, Sullivan spoke about women taking accountability for their mistakes in order to give themselves grace:

“In order to move on and heal and enjoy the life that you’re still living, you have to forgive yourself. I was going through that process while making the project, and I want other women who I know are feeling the same way to know that it’s okay. Learn from your mistakes and move the eff on.”

Heaux Tales takes those mistakes and turns them into passages of healing. With Sullivan’s robust vocals being an anomaly in the current age of R&B. the album is an embodiment of #ProtectBlackWomen, venturing through unguarded stories that transform into empowering wisdom.

As Sullivan’s strongest effort yet, Heaux Tales instantly garnered widespread critical acclaim for its truth, the singer nabbing two 2021 Soul Train Awards for Album of the Year and Best R&B/Soul Female Artist. At the 2021 BET Awards, Sullivan won Album of the Year, and in the 63rd Grammy Awards in 2022, the vocalist will be up for Best R&B Album, Best R&B Performance, and Best R&B Song, the latter two nominations for “Pick Up Your Feelings.”

With minimalist soundscapes, Jazmine Sullivan’s evocative impact shines through. Leading a crusade of Black women through their plights, Heaux Tales is a stirring gaze into the unapologetic future of feminism.

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Just Days After Advising Young Republicans To Drop Out Of School And Marry Young, Madison Cawthorn Says He’s Divorcing His Wife Of 8 Months

Do as Madison Cawthorn says, not as he does. Just days after he urged a group of young conservatives to drop out of college and get married, the North Carolina congressman and staunch anti-vaxxer has announced that he and his wife are getting divorced after a whopping eight months of marriage.

As Raw Story reports, Cawthorn released a statement via his rep on Twitter announcing his impending divorce, explaining that:

“When my wife Cristina and I were engaged, I was not a member of Congress, I felt called to serve and we both agreed that I should run. Our victory was unprecedented, but overnight our lives changed. That change has been both hectic and difficult, it’s neither the pace nor the lifestyle we had planned for. From the outset, we committed to make things work, to fight for our marriage, and seek counsel for balancing the enormity of such a transition in life. Together, we realized that balance was not attainable, and that we had irreconcilable differences between us. While it was an enormously difficult decision, Cristina and I have mutually decided to divorce. We ask for privacy as we work through this privately.”

The fact that reading that statement took about as long as Cawthorn’s marriage lasted was not lost on people. Especially since, on TUESDAY of this week, he urged a group of young Republicans at the Turning Point USA’s America Fest to be like him and be home-schooled, then forget about college and get married instead!

“I am proudly a college dropout,” Cawthorn told the crowd. “Unless you are becoming a doctor or lawyer or engineer, I highly encourage you to drop out. It’s a scam!” He also encouraged people to marry young, though one might want to tread lightly when following Cawthorn’s relationship advice.

Oddly, diehard Trumpist Charlie Kirk was also pushing the idea of marrying young at the same event. And he, too, was married earlier this year… could Cawthorn be starting a new Republican trend?

In his short time in politics, Cawthorn has managed to be a magnet for controversy and criticism—and was labeled a “racist” by Corey Booker in late 2020, after the Cawthorn accused the senator of trying to “ruin white males.” Oh, and there’s also his whole weird fascination with Hitler and the Nazis.

So: Congratulations to the new ex-Mrs. Cawthorn.

(Via Raw Story)