“You can kiss this butter buyer’s ass!!”

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The most recent WWE video game, WWE 2K20, has not been a rousing success. It’s mostly known for glitches and questionable graphics, and we first heard last week that there are no plans to do WWE 2K21.

However, today 2K and WWE revealed that there is a new game coming this fall, but it’s something completely different. From 2K’s announcement:

Let’s begin with a surprise… We’ve got two words for you: NEW GAME! We’re thrilled to introduce you to WWE 2K Battlegrounds, a completely new WWE gaming experience that will feature arcade-style action and over-the-top Superstar designs, environments and moves. We’re focusing on social pick-up-and-play fun, but with plenty of depth for those who want to get way into it.

Whether you’re a casual gamer just learning the ropes or a passionate fan ready for all the action, WWE 2K Battlegrounds provides another way to enjoy WWE video game action. The game is being developed by Saber Interactive, the studio behind NBA 2K Playgrounds, who have been hard at work on WWE 2K Battlegrounds and are excited to let you smell what they’re cookin’.

WWE 2K Battlegrounds is scheduled to launch this fall and we look forward to sharing more information about the game in the coming months.

Apparently, by “over-the-top Superstar designs,” they mean everybody kind of looks like a hobbit. Still, there’s nothing inherently wrong with a cartoony style, and the game is clearly still very early in its development. Plus, any wrestling game where you can throw your opponent into an alligator’s mouth is probably worth checking out.

2K also addressed the problems with 2K20, and the scuttling of 2K21:

Next, we want to address WWE 2K20. We’ve heard and appreciate your feedback, and continue to listen to you closely. Since launch, we’ve released five title updates, addressing hundreds of reported concerns, and have released four WWE 2K20 Originals DLC expansions to build on and improve the experience. We’ve also heard your requests to keep the WWE 2K19 servers running; they will remain active for the time being.

All of that being said, we hear you and we know you want more from the franchise, so here’s what we’re going to do: we are applying what we’ve learned to the next WWE 2K simulation game with a renewed focus on quality and fun. As part of that commitment, we are extending the production timeline and will not be releasing a WWE 2K simulation game in 2020 (T2 fiscal year 2021). We want to ensure the development team at Visual Concepts can create a great game that will entertain grizzled WWE 2K veterans, as well as newcomers who want to climb through the ropes and step into the ring for the very first time.

It sounds like there’s a strong possibility of a much stronger WWE 2K22 down the road, but only time will tell. In the meantime, we only have a few months until it’s alligator-feeding time!

It began with Pineapple Express. Then there was Sausage Party. Now, Seth Rogen will complete his food trilogy with An American Pickle. (He should pick better foods, though. Of the three, only sausages are good. Pickles and pineapple are trash. Do not @ me.)

Based on Man Seeking Woman creator Simon Rich’s novella of the same name, An American Pickle stars Rogen in duel roles (or one-fourth of the way to going full Klump), as Herschel Greenbaum, a “struggling laborer who immigrates to America in 1920” and dreams of a better life until he falls into a pickle vat and awakens 100 years later in present-day Brooklyn, and Herschel’s great grandson Ben, “a mild-mannered computer coder whom Herschel can’t even begin to understand,” according to the plot summary.

The film will be released through HBO Max, which is scheduled to launch on May 27.

“I couldn’t be more thrilled to be partnering with HBO Max to release this film. We worked very hard and put as much of ourselves in this story as possible. We’re very proud of the end result, and we can’t wait for people to get to see it” Rogen said in a statement before running through the house with a pickle in his mouth, I assume.

An American Pickle does not have a release date yet.

(WARNING: Spoilers for Netflix’s Extraction will be found below.)

Thanks to our ongoing self-isolating conditions, Netflix may have another hit on its hands with the Chris Hemsworth actioner Extraction. The high-octane film is also receiving a nice bump thanks to its Marvel connections that go beyond featuring Thor getting his John Wick on. Not only is Extraction directed by Marvel stuntman Sam Hargrave, but it’s from an original story by Joe Russo, who directed the epic, billion-dollar blockbuster Avengers: Endgame with his brother, Anthony. (The Russo Brothers are also producers on Extraction.)

With Extraction out in the wild, fans are already speculating about what the film’s ending means, and in a new interview with Collider, Hargrave provides a somewhat definitive answer and also reveals that a different ending was shot, but it left test audiences split down the middle.

In the film’s climactic battle, Hemsworth’s character Tyler Rake seemingly dies after completing his mission and getting Rudraksh Jaiswal’s Ovi to safety. But in the final moments of the film, Ovi emerges from a swimming pool to see a dark silhouette standing there waiting for him before the credits roll, which raises the question, is Tyler Rake alive? According to Hargrave, the answer is… maybe? “What would hopefully happen is people will be discussing that afterwards, and you get to say which one you feel is right for you,” he tells Collider.

If that seems frustratingly ambiguous, Hargrave explained the process behind the decision. Turns out, they originally shot an ending where Rake is unquestioningly dead. No questions asked. The problem is test audiences were divided on the outcome:

People were torn; it was almost down the middle. We want to appeal to as many people as possible without compromising the integrity of the story. And so, we think a pretty good compromise is to make an ambiguous ending. If people on one hand feel like the story is complete and is a story of redemption through sacrifice, then for them, it’ll be where the kid is imagining [Rake standing there], and then now you go, ‘Yes, I’m satisfied.’ If you feel like you love Tyler Rake, and you love Chris Hemsworth, and you want a sequel, and you’re like ‘There’s no way, you can’t kill him!’ then that’s Tyler Rake standing there looking at you. So we kind of purposefully did not pull focus to the character standing there.

Personally, Hargrave preferred the ending where Rake died and made the ultimate sacrifice to save Ovi. But there were also factions on the filmmaking side who wanted Rake to live, so he’s satisfied that the ending appealed to both camps. “We’ll give you the best of both worlds.” Hargrave said to Collider. “We’re gonna have this ambiguous ending where you can choose your own adventure.”

(Via Collider)

Billie Eilish’s music has clearly impacted millions of fans around the world, based on her millions of streams and her ever-growing trophy collection. Her fellow artists have been moved by Eilish’s music as well, including Selena Gomez, who says one of Eilish’s songs actually brought her to tears.

Gomez spoke with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe about the “At Home” playlist she curated for the streaming service, and she discussed some of the tracks on her list, saying of Eilish’s “Everything I Wanted,” “I just sobbed because I’ve been doing this for so long and it’s like, damn, that’s so true. There’s so many moments where I was just like, ‘Oh, it doesn’t matter who you are.’ There’s moments in my life that’s like, ‘Is this it?’ She deserved every single thing that she got and has. She’s an amazing, amazing artist.”

She also spoke about the playlist more broadly, saying, “There’s so much storytelling in each of these songs. I sat back and I was like, ‘That’s so interesting,’ because I have these pivotal songs that leave me in this trance and inspire me to then listen to other type of music. It’s about lyrics, strong lyrics, a lot of love and pain and then there’s just some party songs that just make me feel like I’m a kid again.”

Watch the full interview here.

Kevin Parker was supposed to be touring arenas around the globe following the release of Tame Impala’s highly-anticipated fourth studio record. Instead, the singer is at home along with the rest of the world. While Parker pushed his touring dates back until December, the musician is still offering fans a taste of his live music, albeit with far less psychedelic light installations. To benefit relief funds, Parker performed acoustic renditions of his music for the Music From The Home Front livestream.

Parked joined 50 other Australian and New Zealand musicians like Tones And I and Courtney Barnett for the Music From The Home Front performance. Armed with just an acoustic guitar and a vocal delay, Parker performed a stripped-down version of his The Slow Rush song “On Track.”

Sitting on his home couch, Parker delivers the song’s lyrics. Though the musician penned the verses quite some time ago, they hold a striking relevance to what the world is currently facing. “But strictly speaking, I’m still on track / And all of my dreams are still intact / ‘Cause strictly speaking, I’ve got my whole life,” Parker sings.

Watch Parker perform a stripped-down version of “On Track” above.

The Slow Rush is out now via Modular. Get it here.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

And here’s everything you need to know.

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Previously on Jesus Christ, Superstars: Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler made his WWE debut on commentary, Doink the Clown did an extended Harlem Globetrotters bit, and we said goodbye to Nailz, the ex-convict who just didn’t know how to integrate back into society.

If you’d like to watch this week’s episode, you can do that here, and you can support the column (so we’re allowed to keep writing it) by reading previous installments on our Jesus Christ, Superstars tag page.

If you like these, and our break from the normal Best and Worst format, make sure to share it around so it gets read and drop us a comment below.

Here’s what you missed 28 years ago on WWF Superstars for December 19, 1992.

Jobbers Of The Week

Meet my beautiful, twisted Dark Destiny. He’s a terrifying masked murderer tasked with getting his head crushed by Smush. Sorry, getting his head smushed by Crush.

In case you’re wondering, that’s Duane Gill under the mask. How do I know? Well, I was first tipped off when I noticed he’s wearing Gill’s gear with a long-sleeve black t-shirt under it, and when he forgot he was playing a mysterious masked man and did Duane Gill’s introduction pose.

I love jobber names like this, by the way. DARK DESTINY. THUNDERFOOT. THE EXECUTIONERS. The next time a 140 pound guy with a name like “TYLER STEVENS” shows up on Raw in bicycle shorts and kickpads to lose to Aleister Black or whoever, imagine how much cooler they’d be if they had a mask and cape, and were billed as the STAR BEAST.

No, this isn’t Barry Windham if he hadn’t made any money, it’s Richard Myers, seen here roughly 90 seconds before Yokozuna uses him as a bean bag chair. Yoko takes Dick to Suplex City while Vince McMahon incredulously shouts about the Royal Rumble and how impossible it would be to eliminate a 500-pounder who carries roughly 450 pounds of it in the ass. My words, not his, but he’s got a point.

RIP Rich Myers. Cause of death: too much booty in the pants. Heaven needed someone to bother them at a record store to explain why ‘Tales From Topographic Oceans’ is actually the best YES album.

Who has two things and remembered to look at the hard cam this time? THIS guy! He loses to Kamala the Ugandan Giant after getting hit with a Tamina Snuka superkick.

Lavern McGill (now without the “e” at the end of his name) is back, now teaming with Chris “Shirley” Hawn in a team I’m calling “MC Chris.” This is fitting, because they get their Christmas fucked up by Money Inc. The narrative of the match is that Jimmy Hart is bad at keeping his teams together and hasn’t signed up IRS for the Rumble yet, peppered with footage of one of Hart’s former teams, the Nasty Boys, talking about how they’re going to John the Baptist him for the holidays. Decollation is the reason for the season! Gilldy Hawn manage to escape with their heads intact, but just barely.

Infinity Mirror Of The Week

Here’s Damien Demento after his match with Reverse Richard Myers, posing in front of the video screen to show you that he’s [hits self in head with mallet, begins making cuckoo noises]. Demento is now hearing voices in his head. They talk to him, they understand. They talk to him. THEY TALK TO HIM. They tell him things that he will do (wear a Venus flytrap as shoulder pads), they tell him things he’ll do to you. A knee drop. A normal knee drop, as a finisher.

The only other characters I can think of who “hear voices” are Randy Orton, who’s all slow stomps and even slower chinlocks, and The Ultimate Warrior, who made Steve McMichael look like Dean Malenko. Maybe WWE’s version of God hates wrestling? It would explain why he no-showed that tag match at Backlash 2006.

Have A Nice Trip Of The Week

After the Big Boss Man defeats Dark Destiny’s friend “Light Competition,” Doink The Clown eschews his normal routine of low quality magic tricks and Curly Neal homage to hilariously interrupt a cop’s post-brutality jog.

Welcome to the resistance, Doink.

Holiday Wishes Of The Week

Here’s former beloved American institution Integrated Conditioning Program wishes everyone a “happy, healthy, holiday season” instead of wishing them a Merry Christmas, because of Vince McMahon’s liberal agenda. If you can’t trust the bonemeal and drywall dust the World Bodybuilding Federation tried to sell to children between Tatanka matches, what CAN you trust??

In all seriousness, this is the final episode of Superstars before Christmas, which means the graphics all have wreaths around them, and two incestuous, sheep-fucking cousins are promising to break into your home in the middle of the night and lick your children.

Please enjoy the Bushwhackers singing Christmas carols with Shane McMahon’s real father:

You better not shout
you better not pick your bloody nose
oh and you better make sure you eat all your bloody sardines
and if you’re very very good
oh you’ll get a bloody
big
licking

I want to go back and try to submit that as a poem to my college literary journal.

Finally, the New Generation gets together in GLOW formation to wish me and mine a merry Christmas. Damn, Tatanka, you couldn’t have put on some clothes for this?

Next Week Of The Week

What did you get for Christmas? I got WWF SLAM, featuring the hit song ‘WWF SLAM,’ from Arista Records®. We’ll listen to it next week!

A focal point of Sunday night’s episodes of The Last Dance was the rivalry between the Pistons and the Bulls. Michael Jordan said he still hates the Bad Boys Pistons to this day, and the player that draws the most of his ire is Isiah Thomas.

There is still some very clear, deep-seeded anger Jordan feels towards Thomas and the Pistons for walking off the floor without so much as acknowledging the Bulls in the 1991 Eastern Conference Finals. Thomas explained the decision and why they’d do it differently now in the documentary, but Jordan wasn’t buying it and insisted there was nothing you could show him to convince him Isiah “wasn’t an asshole.”

For Thomas, the ramifications of that decision lingered beyond just the end of the Bad Boys run, but to him not getting an invite onto the Dream Team — something he seems to have just figured out, even though it’s been the general assumption of most for decades.

Thomas made the rounds on ESPN on Monday, speaking with First Take and Get Up!, and on the latter, he discussed what he learned from last night’s episodes — and also couldn’t help but jab at the Bulls for finally doing what they were supposed to and realizing they needed to lift weights and get tougher.

Now, Thomas is not exactly an objective party to all of this, but he’s right in this situation that it’s pretty wild that Jordan and the Bulls didn’t really commit to weight training until they’d lost twice to the Pistons and realized they needed more physical and mental toughness. That’s a part of the game that’s taken for granted as the expectation now that wasn’t necessarily as big a part of the game in the 1980s, but it’s still incredible that they hadn’t taken getting strong that seriously until then.

Newly-minted Philadelphia power-pop group 2nd Grade introduced themselves with the singles “Velodrome” and “My Bike.” Composed of members from Friendship, Remember Sports, and Free Cake For Every Creature, the group aims to make breezy pop-adjacent tunes. Further previewing the upcoming record Hit To Hit, 2nd Grade releases the carefree track “Dennis Hopper In Easy Rider.”

It’s not too hard to pick up on what exactly inspired the sound of “Dennis Hopper In Easy Rider.” A catchy guitar riff provides an open space for lead singer Peter Gill’s lighthearted musings where he recites his ABC’s and lists off the cast members in the 1969 cult classic film.

In a statement, Gill said the band has no ulterior motive with their debut record other than to make fun pop songs. “That’s one way I can see this whole thing now,” Gill said. “I wanted to write a bunch of really catchy songs and at the end of the day that would have been enough for me, just to put out an album with a bunch of great pop songs that doesn’t have to have some sort of deeper meaning.”

Listen to “Dennis Hopper In Easy Rider” above.

Hit To Hit is out 5/29 via Double Double Whammy. Pre-order it here.