Category: Viral

Vladimir Putin pulled out his big boy pants while complaining about a lack of respect for Russia’s (non-)military prowess. This is very funny, yes, for the same reason that it’s simply too ridiculous that Viagra and Botox concerns are floating around while Putin’s war on Ukraine mounts staggering deaths and casualties on the regular. Putin is, however, still insisting that he’s going to win this conflict, despite the evidence, but he has also continued to substantially blame the U.S. for being “American warmongers” who “incite the Kyiv regime to further escalate the war.”

With fingers firmly pointed, Putin has now decided to stomp his feet in a dangerous way: by pulling out of a nuclear treaty while suggesting that he’s not above using those weapons. He’s also expressing irritation at how the West doubts his ability to win his war. Via Reuters:

“The elites of the West do not hide their purpose. But they also cannot fail to realise that it is impossible to defeat Russia on the battlefield… I am forced to announce today that Russia is suspending its participation in the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty.”

Interestingly enough, Putin’s pulling this card right as President Biden has shown up in Poland for a surprise address on Ukraine. This will surely only prompt more harsh words from the Kremlin, so there’s that to look forward to, unlike the nuclear threats, which are never fun.

(Via Reuters)

Marey Carey may be the unofficial “Queen Of Christmas” due to her record-breaking song, “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” Still, apparently, there’s another festive title the decorated songwriter has her eye on. Carey and all her fabulosity have continued to embrace the social media platform TikTok, thanks in part to her daughter Monroe Cannon’s love for the app.

As the singer’s 2009 song “It’s A Wrap” remains atop the trending sounds on the platform, Carey and her daughter have found joy in creating short TikTok videos using the audio clip. In their latest video, they enlisted the help of another famous mother-and-daughter duo, Kim Kardashian and North West. North West is no stranger to the platform, having gone viral for several of her videos, including one in which she dressed up as her father, rapper and fashion designer Kanye West.

As North and Monroe hit their simple choreographed moves while lip-syncing along to the song, their mothers join in just before the video wraps up. The video, uploaded to Carey’s official TikTok page with the caption, “It’s a wrap! But never for us,” has earned an impressive 3.5 million views and over 500,000 likes. That is not bad for a song released over 10 years ago.

Watch the video above.

Space might be considered the final frontier, but right here on planet Earth, entire universes remain unexplored beneath the water’s surface.

Every year, the prestigious Underwater Photographer of the Year contest highlights stunning images from all over the world that offer a small glimpse into this mysterious world, reminding us of its breathtaking beauty, fascinating wildlife and—perhaps most important of all—the need to respect and care for its resources.

American photographer Kat Zhou won the title for 2023. (Technically, she also won Up & Coming Photographer of the Year—way to go, Zhou.) Her image of a rare Amazon river dolphin, captured at the perfect moment of smiling while poking its nose out from under the water, rose to the top in a sea of 6,000 entries. Due to river contamination and being killed or injured by fishermen, the species is listed as vulnerable in certain areas by the World Wildlife Organization, making this apparently happy interaction all the more impactful.

As judge Alex Mustard wrote, “In dark, tannic waters, Kat has created a striking composition capturing this rarely photographed and vulnerable species at the perfect moment…By far the best image we’ve ever seen of this species.”

Zhou also explained the river dolphin’s folklore in her entry.

---

Underwater Photographer of the Year 2023 Winner: “Boto Encantado” by Kat Zhou (USA)

Brazilian Amazon

“There’s a legend among locals in the Amazon that river dolphins, or ‘botos,’ can transform into handsome men known as ‘boto encantado’ at night to seduce women. Though I did not witness this elusive boto transformation, at dusk I was enchanted by these beautiful mammals in a different way. After seeing how botos would sometimes bring their beaks above water, I knew I want a split shot at sunset. Though the water was so dark that I was shooting blind, this dolphin gave me a perfect pose and smile!

As indigenous communities settled by rivers in the Amazon, river dolphins began living in closer proximity to human populations, even making use of food scraps. Frequent dolphin sightings led to tales like boto encantado, but there’s a darker side to the legend, as it was often used to excuse pregnancies after women were assaulted or forced into prostitution. While botos are generally revered as mythical creatures, many scorned husbands have killed dolphins because of these stories. Furthermore, many river dolphins have also been killed for use as fish bait. Though there have been bans on this practice, it has not been eradicated. With this, alongside even bigger impacts like mercury poisoning due to the gold mining industry and large development projects that have disrupted the river ecosystems, I fear that one day botos will truly become no more than mythical creatures.” – Kat Zhou

Take a look below at the winners from other categories:

Wide Angle Winner: “Fade” by J. Gregory Sherman (USA)

Stingray City, Cayman Islands

“My dive partner and I chartered a boat to arrive at Stingray City on Grand Cayman before dawn so as to capture the morning light and undisturbed sand ripples. Just as the sun broke the horizon, a line of southern stingrays headed straight for me and I captured this image as they glided across the sand. Using a large dome port allowed me to create a split image showing the intensely colorful dawn sky contrasted against the nearly monochromatic stingrays and sand beneath the surface chop.” – Gregory Sherman

Wrecks Winner: “Engine with a Saddle” by Brett Eldridge (USA)

Point Loma, California

“We were out scanning targets in June when we saw a very small, but promising sonar blip 230 feet deep. I geared up and jumped in hoping for something special. After some searching, my heart started racing when I first saw fish then the propeller of an almost completely intact, single-engine WW II airplane! It turned out to be a F8F-1 Bearcat, a rare aircraft that Neil Armstrong famously once said was his favorite and has been described as ‘An Engine With a Saddle.’ Alone on the first dive with limited bottom time, I took enough photos to build a ‘draft’ model and identify the wreck. Needing a better photogrammetry model for the UPY contest and with deadlines quickly approaching, I booked December 19th and crossed my fingers. We fortunately had epic conditions and I got the photos I needed. It was my last dive of 2022.” – Brett Eldridge

Behavior Winner: “Make Love Not War” by Yury Ivanov (Indonesia)

Tulamben, Bali

“A couple of coconut octopuses ‘making love’ (mating). I knew that I can find this species of Octopus at one of dive sites near Tulamben village (Bali, Indonesia) and they are active only at night time in that place. I dive there only after 7pm hoping to photograph something unique – their mating. I’ve done more than 30 night dives at the dive site and finally I got lucky. The photo shows the end of their love.” – Yury Ivanov

Portrait Winner: “The Trunk” by Suliman Alatiqi (Kuwait)

Phuket, Thailand

“The elephant’s trunk is one of the most distinctive anatomical features in the natural world and this photo aims to emphasize it. Luckily, he was curious about my camera and was happy to feel it out which gave me the opportunity to capture this perspective despite otherwise bad conditions for an over-under photo (choppy water and poor visibility). In my first attempts, the nostrils were not fully lit because of how close they were to the lens (which was necessary for the intended photographic effect). So I returned at a specific time window when I thought the sun’s angle would be optimal and managed to fully light the nostrils. This added a lot more detail to the key part of the image without which the photo would not be as effective.” – Suliman Alatiqi

Save Our Seas Foundation Marine Conservation Photographer of the Year 2023 Winner: “Hopeless” by Alvaro Herrero (Spain)

Baja California, Mexico

“A humpback whale dies a slow, painful and agonizing death after having its tail entangled in a ropes and buoys, rendering its tail completely useless. A reflection of what not only our oceans are suffering, but also our planet, the product of man’s selfishness and lack of responsibility. Taking this photograph was, for me, the saddest moment I’ve experienced in the ocean. Especially because I have spent so much time with humpbacks underwater, experiencing eye contact, interactions, and seeing with my own eyes how they are sentient and intelligent beings. But I’m ‘happy’ to being able to capture that moment and show the world what is happening, what we are doing. I really hope this image make us aware , open our eyes and drive us in to make real changes.” – Alvaro Herrero

Black & White Winner: “El Blanco – The White One” by Don Silcock (Australia)

Península Valdés, Argentina

“The image was taken on the last morning of a five-day trip to Peninsula Valdés in Argentina, in August 2022, under a special permit to enter the water with the Southern Right Whales that gather there between June and December each year. The mother, who can be seen in the background, accepted our presence and allowed the calf to interact with us. It was very playful but careful not to hit us with its tail and seemed to be really enjoying it all – almost as much as we were! White calves are very rare and referred to locally as ‘El Blanco’ or the white one!

Peninsula Valdés is an incredibly important safe haven and breeding ground for the Southern Right Whales of the southern Atlantic and Argentina has done an excellent job of managing it. It was, without doubt, my best ever underwater experience!” – Don Silcock

Compact Winner: “Klunzinger’s Wrasse In Motion” by Enrico Somogyi (Germany)

Marsa Alam, Egypt

“When I was snorkeling in Marsa Alam I saw countless Klunzinger’s Wrasses. One of them was particularly curious and very interested in my lens. I was able to take some good classic wide angle pictures. After a while I figured it would be a good idea to try a long exposure. So I set my camera to the smallest aperture f11, the ISO value to 64 and the exposure time to 1/13s. For this picture, I moved the camera forward a bit while the shutter was released. This created the zoom effect in the lower part of the image. I was very happy with the result.” – Enrico Somogyi

Macro Winner: “Unsung” by Shane Gross (Canada)

Location: Vancouver Island, Canada

“Walking along a rocky shoreline we would peer under rocks using a probe lens and my camera’s LCD screen to check for plainfin midshipman nests. Once found I would lay on top of the barnacle-covered rocks, cutting my elbows, trying to compose images of fish most people have never heard of despite having one of the most interesting lifecycles of any animal. Plainfin midshipman are deep water fish that travel to the intertidal zone to spawn. The males sing to attract females and she will lay as many eggs as his singing deserves before moving on to the next singer. Now, the male has a chance to fertilize the eggs, but only if he is not beaten to the punch by a sneaker male who looks like a female. The singer male will then guard the nest never knowing the kids may not be his. Drama!” – Shane Gross

There are even more incredible images swimming around on the UPY website. You can even download a free yearbook featuring all the winning images and their captivating stories here.

As the never-ending debate over the pros and cons of method acting rages on, it seems like noted method actor Jeremy Strong is still integrating Kendall Roy into life, which has sparked some debate among his co-stars in the past.

Strong’s Succession co-star Brian Cox has expressed concern about Strong’s methods over the years, praising his performances but remaining worried about how it affects the actor. “I just worry about what he does to himself. I worry about the crises he puts himself through in order to prepare,” the actor told Seth Meyers in 2021. But Strong does not seem too concerned with Cox’s comments, or anyone’s for that matter!

In a new profile with GQ, Strong says that he thinks that the whole ordeal was blown out of proportion. “Everyone’s entitled to have their feelings,” Strong began, adding that Cox can have whatever feeling he wants, which probably happens after you win enough Emmy awards.

The actor continued, “I also think Brian Cox, for example, he’s earned the right to say whatever the f**k he wants. There was no need to address that or do damage control… I feel a lot of love for my siblings and my father on the show. And it is like a family in the sense that — and I’m sure they would say this, too — you don’t always like the people that you love. I do always respect them.” It’s obvious he respects his TV show family, plus it’s not like he was mailing dead rats to his coworkers like some method actors.

Despite the backlash to his methods, Strong insists he will continue to keep up his method approach. “Am I going to adjust or compromise the way that I’ve worked my whole life and what I believe in? There wasn’t a flicker of doubt about that,” Strong explained. “I’m still going to do whatever it takes to serve whatever it is.” Even though he doesn’t like it, Cox will have to live with it, at least for another season or two. Maybe he himself should try method acting? It would make him even more approachable.

(Via Variety)

Jimin is now the next BTS member that’s adding some new solo music, since the band is currently on hiatus until 2025 because of Jin’s mandatory military service. His debut solo album, Face, is dropping next month — and fans have a lot to be excited for.

“BTS member Jimin will be releasing his first solo album Face,” the label, BigHit Music, shared in a statement (via Soompi). “Face is all about Jimin facing himself head-on as he gets ready for his next step as a solo artist. Jimin will see the fans through various activities including the Face release, so we ask for your continued interest and support for Jimin’s first official solo activity.”

While Jimin had previously hinted at its arrival during a WeVerse stream earlier this month, it had yet to be official. The announcement was also accompanied by a mysterious trailer, which features ocean waves and drops of water.

Last year, BTS’ J-Hope and RM both released their solo albums, Jin collaborated with Coldplay on “The Astronaut,” and Jungkook dropped his new song, “Dreamers.” Meanwhile, Suga is gearing up for his new world tour — making him the first member of the band to do so alone.

With Jimin now rounding out the bunch, it shows that each member intends to be a powerhouse force.

Face is out 3/24 via BigHit. Pre-orders for the album are available starting tomorrow (Feb. 22).

Liam Neeson stopped by The View last week to promote his new movie, Marlowe, where he found himself being fawned over by Joy Behar, who’s not exactly subtle about her thirsting. During the interview, she joked that she wanted to be cremated and have her ashes spread all over Neeson. Basically, it was peak Joy, which Michael B. Jordan knows about all too well.

Apparently, Neeson was not a fan of the experience. In a new interview with Rolling Stone, the actor shared his blunt thoughts about being caught in the middle of Behar’s thirst. He didn’t like it. In fact, Neeson would’ve much rather talked about gun violence or literally anything that didn’t involve Behar’s loins burning with passion:

“I was in the dressing room drinking a cup of tea, turned the TV up, and I thought, oh, this will be great. They’re talking about gun violence in America, and I agree that it’s an American problem. I go onstage and join the ladies during the break, and I was congratulating them on this discussion. And then our segment starts and it’s just all this BS with Joy [Behar] and Liam Neeson and having a crush, and I’ve known Whoopi for years and Joy a little bit, but I just wasn’t impressed. I’m uncomfortable in those situations, you know? One of the ladies [Sunny Hostin] is a prosecutor and we had a little chat afterward and it was a good, intelligent conversation, but then the segment’s all about this — oof — thirteen, fourteen-year-old crush. It’s just a bit embarrassing.”

In The View’s defense, Neeson actually did get to discuss a much more serious topic and via Behar no less. The randy co-host simmered down after the previous segment and steered the conversation towards Neeson’s role in Schindler’s List. After mentioning the film’s 30th anniversary, she asked Neeson for his thoughts on the increased spate of anti-semitism in America and the prevalence of Holocaust denial. Again, both are very serious topics, so his appearance wasn’t all thirsting. Although, there was a lot of it.

You can watch Liam Neeson discuss Schindler’s List below:

(Via Rolling Stone)

Diddy may have built his empire on a variety of businesses including liquor companies, television shows, and apparel, but he’s finally returning to his music roots with the launch of his R&B-focused record label, Love Records. Today, Love Records revealed the release date for its first project, the debut EP from singer/songwriter Jozzy. Titled Songs For Women, Free Game For N****, the eight-track EP is due February 24.

In a statement, Diddy praised his new protege, saying, “Jozzy is a very special and dynamic talent that only comes around once in a generation, so I’m excited to see how her music sets a new standard for R&B. Her skills as a writer and performer, matched with her style and energy has the potential to make her one of the greats and I’m proud to play a part in shaping the next chapter of her career.”

Jozzy’s writing credits include hits from across the last several years such as DaniLeigh’s “Lil Bebe,” Internet Money’s “Lemonade,” and Metro Boomin & 21 Savage’s “Mr. Right Now.”

Diddy launched Love Records last year after claiming that “R&B is dead,” walking back that statement after a widespread backlash from fans. As he explained in a press release for the label, “I feel like R&B was abandoned and it’s a part of our African American culture.” He also said he wanted to try out a new business model, saying, “I’m not signing any artists. Because if you know better, you do better. I’m doing 50–50 partnerships with pure transparency.”

This week in pop found a bunch of artists on this list either dropping their anticipated albums or the first singles from a newly-announced era. Basically put, it’s the continuation of an already strong year, and it’s not even the end of February.

Here is Uproxx’s roundup of the best new pop music from this week.

Lana Del Rey – “A&W”

Fans have been going crazy over Lana Del Rey‘s newest song, “A&W,” which doubles as a presumed nod to the root beer restaurant and an abbreviation for “American whore” — so very Lana-core. The seven-minute track has two distinct parts, starting as a slow take on her life before transforming into an incredibly-catchy section that’s been compared to Nelly’s “Country Grammar.”

Niall Horan – “Heaven”

Niall Horan’s “Heaven” is the lead single from his forthcoming summer album, The Show. As he’s described, he doesn’t want to conform to societal standards and just lives in the moment on a carefree track. “I wanted to write about how we all should just focus on enjoying our lives and doing what feels right, instead of worrying about what might be expected of us,” Horan noted in a statement.

Caroline Polachek – “Butterfly Net”

“‘Butterfly Net’ is maybe the most narrative storyteller moment on the whole album,” Polachek described to Apple Music “And also, palette-wise, deviates from the more hybrid electronic palette that we’ve been in to go fully into this 1960s drum reverb band atmosphere. I’m playing an organ solo. I was listening to a lot of ’60s Italian music, and the way they use reverbs as a holder of the voice and space and very minimal arrangements to such incredible effect.”

Skrillex, Missy Elliott, Mr. Oizo – “Ratata”

“Ratata” is the second collaboration between Skrillex and Missy Elliott, as she previously remixed Jack Ü’s “Take Ü There.” However, despite Elliott and Oizo’s presence carrying this fun take, it appears on the DJ’s new album.

Bebe Rexha – “Heart Wants What It Wants”

Bebe Rexha emulates her biggest pop icon inspirations, including Madonna and Cher, in the music video for her bubbly “Heart Wants What It Wants.” As it’s the first preview of her new album, Rexha told Rolling Stone that she just wants listeners to have a good time.

Nessa Barrett – “Bang Bang”

Barrett is back for blood on her vengeful new “Bang Bang.” Detailing her aggressions as a scorned lover, she fantasizes about cutting a man’s breaks — simply because she hates how he drives his car, among other things.

Role Model – “A Little More Time”

“A Little More Time” follows Role Model’s 2022 album, as a continuation of his softer side. “I could use a / Rainshower, blue hour, two-hour drive upstate,” he sings on the chorus, backed by a light guitar.

Kelsea Ballerini – “Blindsided”

Kelsea Ballerini’s new EP, Rolling Up The Welcome Mat, dropped on Valentine’s Day — but is a heartbreaking take on her divorce. One of the tracks, “Blindsided,” finds her wondering if the other person saw it coming, despite all the issues that were loud and clear.

Tini – “Cupido”

“This song is the drop that spilled the cup,” Tini told Billboard about her new song “Cupido,” the title track of her new fourth album. “There’s a crash with my own self. It was very interesting to experience this at the time of writing my songs.”

Omar Apollo – “3 Boys”

Omar Apollo’s “3 Boys” isn’t exactly what the title might seem. Instead, he rejects the option for a romance with just one person. “What should I do? / I can’t even choose / I’m tethered to you,” he questions on the chorus.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The nearly 4-minute Fast X trailer that dropped a few weeks ago had so much going on that it was hard to keep track of. Everyone is rightfully excited for Jason Momoa as the villain, as we learn five movies later that the Brazilian drug lord from Fast Five has a son who is hellbent on revenge and wants to, you’ll never guess it, tear Dominic Toretto’s family apart. There’s all kinds of callbacks — the bridge in Brazil, the tunnels in Mexico — and the returns of Charlize Theron, John Cena, Helen Mirren, Jason Statham, and all of our favorites from the crew.

However, what I’m most excited for in Fast X is to see what new area of expertise Tej Parker, played by the great Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, has developed. I would argue there is no character in film history that has had a more outrageous arc than Tej, which is made even more incredible because Ludacris was never even supposed to be in the Fast & Furious franchise. Ja Rule was meant to join Paul Walker as a returning character from the original (NO, MONICAAAAAA) in 2 Fast 2 Furious, but famously turned down the role, leading to Ludacris getting his foot in the door in what has now become the most lucrative action movie franchise on the planet.

When we first meet Tej Parker in 2 Fast, he’s a mechanic who also handles the money for underground jet ski races out back at his garage in Miami. Fast forward to F9, Ludacris’ sixth appearance in the franchise, and Parker is one of the world’s best hackers, a master of electromagnets, and knows the science behind what’s needed to go to space in a Pontiac Fiero. Of all the absurdities in the Fast & Furious universe, and there are many, there are none that I am more fascinated and enthralled by than the trajectory of one Tej Parker. This is in part because his counterpart from 2 Fast, Tyrese aka Roman Pierce, has more or less been the exact same character for two decades (comic relief, driver, hot head, now solo Greek Chorus) on his own journey to outer space.

Here, I will attempt to explore how we got to this place, and if nothing else, list out — movie by movie — all of the various roles and responsibilities Ludacris has held in the franchise, as the most versatile member of Dom’s crew, as we get ready for Fast X, where we can only hope to see Tej add another skill to his bag.

2 Fast 2 Furious

Responsibilities: Garage owner/mechanic, leader of street and jet ski races, organizer of car-related chaos, wearer of tremendous jumpsuits, a person who throughout the entire movie does not use a computer even one (1) time.

In his debut, Tej Parker does many things. He runs street and jet ski races, as one does being the owner of a waterfront car garage. He does mechanic things, like helping to put ejector seats into Brian and Roman’s cars. He is the best-connected man in Miami, per Brian, with his hands in “everything,” so he’s able to get literally hundreds of street racers to help them shake the cops by filling a garage and then scattering all at once. He pulls off looks like the one above.

He also exists in a world that Ludacris, the rapper, does as well, as evidenced by “Act a Fool” playing before the opening race as everyone dances around him. This isn’t really relevant to Tej, the character, but it is to my ongoing hope that one day Ludacris will play both Tej and himself in a Fast & Furious movie. Maybe make them long-lost twins or something. It would be a more realistic sibling reveal than John Cena being Vin Diesel’s brother. Sorry, I’m getting off track.

Back to Tej, who is the don of Miami street racing. He’s already an incredible character, and, I cannot stress this enough, at no point does he ever touch a computer. The most advanced technology we see him use in the whole movie is a flip phone and a walkie-talkie. At best, you would have expected that if Tej came back in another movie, it was as some kind of secondary character that helps them out in Miami at some point given his connections. However…

Fast Five

Responsibilities: Surveillance expert, hacker, general tech guy, mechanic (?)

At some point between 2003 and 2011, Tej learned a lot about computers and surveillance technology. This is never explained and honestly it’s one of my favorite things about the franchise. They’re often really good about offering at least some form of an explanation for their most ridiculous leaps — people dying and coming back, Dom Toretto having an evil brother we haven’t even heard of until the ninth movie of the franchise that is all about family, etc. — but Tej’s jump from a person who literally doesn’t touch a computer throughout the entire first movie he’s in to becoming a hacker extraordinaire in the second movie he shows up in is never explained.

My best rationalization of this shift is that cars started to become more automated and CPU focused, so it would make sense for a garage owner with street racing ties would start learning more about them and maybe become obsessed with it to the point of learning how to crack security cameras. That’d be helpful for someone who runs street races. A stretch? Sure, but let’s just go with it.

The real answer is, their whole plan for the movie was to bring back old favorites and Tej already had an explanation for why he didn’t drive — remember, he hit a wall going 120 — so he was the most logical person to become “the guy in the chair,” and goddammit if he doesn’t pull it off. After the initial shock of hearing that the jet ski race guy is now a computer expert, it’s actually incredible how well Ludacris plays this role. Like, it very well could’ve all gone wrong trying to make this thing work but we are now a decade into Tej Parker, elite international hacker, and it’s hard to remember what it was like before we had him in our lives.

Fast & Furious 6

Responsibilities: Surveillance expert, hacker, general tech guy, high-end car auctioneer embarrasser, harpoon gun expert

“See their version works cool, but mine? A masterpiece. See, I reversed the gears, torqued the motor, and added this tank to the back…”

This is a line that has been stuck in my head for eight years, as Tej explains to Roman how he took a harpoon gun from the bad guys and made it better by, what else, adding NOS. This is actually the thing Tej does in the post-2 Fast world that makes the most sense for his past. I 100 percent believe the mechanic who runs jet ski races in Florida would do something like trick out a harpoon gun with NOS. That is the most consistency the franchise has ever shown with Tej.

The rest of what he does in this movie is mostly in line with his role in the fifth. Having not-yet-rogue The Rock involved lets him gain access to London’s camera systems without having to hack into them. He also gets back to his roots as an organizer, serving as the play-by-play man for the crew in their highway chase scene in which he delivers the legendary line: “Uh guys, they’ve got a tank.” This is cinema.

Furious 7

Responsibilities: Surveillance expert, hacker extraordinaire, general tech guy, guy capable of wielding the greatest digital weapon known to man (God’s Eye), fighter

As my esteemed colleague Brian Grubb has written previously, the Fast & Furious franchise is best broken into three trilogies. The first three are, mostly, about cars and racing. The second trilogy are blockbuster action movies using cars to facilitate the action, with Fast Five being the shining example of how good the series can be as a standalone action movie. The most recent trilogy is simply about seeing how big they can go.

Tej follows that same trajectory. In the second movie, he’s all about the cars and the racing community. By the fifth and sixth movies, he is your stereotypical action movie tech genius, hacking into security systems and setting the table for everyone else to do what they do. He is the Benji to Dom’s Ethan Hunt, if we want to use a Mission Impossible analogy. (We do.) That leap in and of itself is hysterical but is nothing compared to what happens in the third trilogy.

In films 7-9, we are just pushing boundaries to see what people will go for, and the answer to everything since has been a resounding yes. Can we jump cars through the world’s tallest buildings? Yes. Can we take down a nuclear submarine with cars? Yes. Can we go to space in a car? You’re goddamn right.

Tej is the manifestation of that in character form. You were accepting of a mechanic becoming a tech guy? Alright, now he can work side-by-side with the person we are told is the most dangerous hacker on the planet without skipping a beat. Oh, and he also has martial arts training.

Look at Ludacris! This is an important development because this opens him up to no longer being “the guy behind the screen,” a la Benji in Mission Impossible. He can now venture out into the field for action scenes as well. Without this, I firmly believe we never get Ludacris in space, which might be the most important thing that happened in all of 2021.

Fate of the Furious

Responsibilities: Surveillance expert, hacker extraordinaire, general tech guy, nuclear submarine expert (!)

In Fate of the Furious, Tej is mostly the same guy up until the point they get to the nuclear submarine in Russia, where we learn that Mr. Parker has been studying up on foreign war machines and knows exactly what they need to be looking for to disable the nuclear sub — “it should be labeled ‘Guidance Go.’”

How does he know this? Don’t worry about that. This is just standard information your friendly auto mechanic turned hacker knows. He’s still helping outfit cars with NOS and roll cages and all the things that make him a valuable mechanic on the car superhero team, but he also is a quick study and can tell you how to disarm a nuclear sub, if you need that sort of thing.

F9

Responsibilities: Surveillance expert, hacker extraordinaire, general tech guy, fighter, land mines expert, giant electromagnets expert (!!), space travel science expert/astronaut (!!!)

Tej really gets to stretch his legs and show his range in F9, as he gets to flash his knowledge in a variety of areas, from land mines to electromagnets to space travel. It’s really the pinnacle of his involvement in the franchise, as he helps outfit cars with giant magnets so they can attract and repel other cars — and eventually, flip the unstoppable tank tractor-trailer thing that the bad guys are in.

While all of that is happening, though, Tej and Roman are in space, taking out a satellite. For years the running joke was that the Fast Saga would eventually end up in space, and in the ninth move, they finally did it, with Roman and Tej becoming the first astronauts of the Fast & Furious crew. They do this by reuniting with the fellas from Tokyo Drift, as Twinkie and Sean now build rocket engines (which, to be clear, is something I would watch an entire spinoff about), and have figured out how to strap one to a Pontiac Fiero.

Why do they have to go to space, you ask? Well, because they need to take out a satellite, of course. (Reminder: this franchise started with Dom’s crew stealing DVD players.) And Tej knows how to turn old scuba suits into space gear and all “the numbers” — as Roman keeps saying — behind what it’s going to take to destroy the satellite, which, sure. And, naturally, the initial plan doesn’t work, so Roman just drives the space Fiero into the satellite, with the help of what appears to be rocket fuel NOS.

A perfect movie scene, really. I don’t know how they can possibly one-up this for Tej and Roman, but seeing those two together in the Fast X trailer has me very excited for whatever shenanigans they get into. My only hope is that, whenever this ends, we go full circle and Tej is just running his garage — and jet ski races — in peace in Miami.

When Lonzo Ball first injured his knee in January 2022, the expectation was for him to miss 4-6 weeks. More than a year later, Ball remains sidelined as he deals with pain and discomfort, and the star guard appears no closer to a return amid numerous setbacks.

On Tuesday morning, the Chicago Bulls announced Ball was being shut down for the season, making official what many feared after recent updates revealed he was still experiencing pain.