It’s finally happening. After teasing her fans all year, saying it will be out in the summer and then admitting in October that she’s not rushing the release, SZA’s album seems to be very much on its way. The icon unveiled “Shirt” at the end of last month, and today she shared a breathtaking, explicit preview clip called “PSA.”
In it, SZA sits in a bikini inside a ring of green fire, looking at the camera seductively as her hypnotizing rap plays in the background: “I don’t want nobody calling me anything but number one / I got problems, I don’t know how to take losses.” The sound is ethereal and enchanting. The camera flashes back and forth between that scene and another scene of her pouring a glowing substance onto herself — and that includes her chest, and — NSFW warning — toward the end she goes full-on topless.
SZA tweeted the clip, writing, “happy birthday to me. Clock starts now.” It immediately went mega-viral, but her replies are turned off. The comments on the YouTube video are full of all-caps level excitement.
Last month, SZA disagreed with Punch’s description of her album. @szaoncharts tweeted: “.@sza’s new album is called a continuation of Ctrl but with a completely different sound. While Punch describes the new album as ‘somebody who’s lost and then discovered themselves.’” SZA replied, writing, “Ion agree w this at all.”
Charli XCX is having a great year thanks to the release of her album Crash plus a few great one-offs like “Hot Girl” and “Hot In It.” It looks like things are just getting bigger for her: Now she’s going to be taking on the TV world.
Charli will be starring in a comedy by Amazon Studios called Overcompensating, alongside Benito Skinner. It’s being produced by Jonah Hill’s production company Strong Baby and A24. It centers on Benny, an Idaho football player who struggles with his sexuality and ends up overcompensating because of it.
Last month, Charli talked about the weirdness of fame. “To be famous – a stratospheric level of famous – you have to f*cking want that sh*t to happen to you, and you have to do the deal with the devil,” she said. “You have to f*cking go there and run people over. I’m not saying it’s a negative thing, it’s not, but I think with Crash I definitely wanted to play that game. But I think because of who I am, and the artist that I am and the reference points that I have and the world that I come from, it’s like… there’s just this part of my brain that doesn’t want to function like that.”
Charli XCX is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
What is a guilty pleasure? By definition, a guilty pleasure is anything (movie, TV show, song, food, drink) that you enjoy even though it might not be seen as high-quality by the masses. Or the enjoyment of something that makes others want to “guilt” you — Taco Bell, perhaps. Or In-n-Out.
Today, we’re most interested in guilty pleasure beers. You know, the beer you love that you might not talk about as much as the barrel-aged bangers everyone else is fawning over. While we could write a whole story describing our favorite guilt pleasure beers (we throw back light lagers summer long), we figured we’d let the professionals in on the fun. We asked a handful of well-known brewers and craft beer experts to tell us their favorite guilty pleasure beers.
Keep reading to see if any of your picks made the list.
It had been a minute, but I just had one last night. It was a Miller High Life. Smooth, drinkable, clean, and refreshing. Honestly, this is the experience we aspire to. And that iconic branding and tagline.
The Champagne of Beers? I’m not feeling guilty at all. Would you?
I love a good Pale Ale. And while it might not seem like a guilty pleasure, I can’t get enough of beers like 3 Floyds Zombie Dust, Toppling Goliath Pseudo Sue, or Half Acre Daisy Cutter. I love full, fresh citrus flavor and aroma with a little danky bitterness for balance delivered with a dry, crisp finish.
If I had to pick one, it would be Daisy Cutter with its bold citrus, tropical fruits, and resinous pine.
A Mexican lager fits that bill for me. I like any number of craft-brewed versions, but I have to give a nod to the best known, Corona Extra. I find it ultra clean and refreshing with a surprising amount of hop flavor and aroma compared to others in that arena. It’s consistent and reliable and let’s face it, that’s not easy to do.
Campfire Stout from Highwater Brewing. I’m not really a sweets guy, but the nostalgia of eating a s’more that you just assembled using the marshmallow that you perfectly roasted yourself over the campfire that lies before you really does the trick for me. This beer absolutely nails the flavors. Especially the burnt sugar taste of a marshmallow that actually has been toasted over a campfire. You could make a marshmallow in the microwave but that ain’t it.
Underrated, but an absolute go-to of mine, is Narragansett Lager. A staple New England brew, it’s super crispy and refreshing. It’s always consistent, and mighty affordable.
It also doesn’t hurt that they have an absolute badass female head brewer.
I like to support live music endeavors. Depending on the venue, you don’t get many options. It’s not a guilty pleasure as such, but I suppose whenever I order a Bud Light without hesitation, some of my friends could react in a dramatic way.
What makes it great? I think it’s drinkability and availability for the occasion. It’s all about context.
Being born and raised in Colorado, it would be hard for me to say anything other than Coors Banquet. You can get it just about anywhere, but it tastes the best right from a cooler full of ice on a cool evening by a campfire. It’s an aptly named beer since it’s the kind of beer you want to pair with a hearty meal or just drink while you sit in a lawn chair outside on a nice night.
My guilty pleasure is usually Miller Light. That stuff is just too refreshing. When it comes to light beers, some are more flavorful than others. Miller Lite is low in calories and alcohol content, but high in crisp, sweet, easy-drinking flavor. Why would you even feel guilty drinking a simple, no-frills beer like this?
Genesee Cream Ale is my guilty pleasure beer. I think this is what people are talking about when they say they love Banquet or PBR or Yuengling (I don’t love any of those). It’s just a sort of “whatever” beer for many, but I grab a fresh pack of Genesee from time to time when I see it, and it really hits the spot. It’s malty, slightly sweet, and highly refreshing any time of year.
What’s not to love?
Drekker Braaaaaaaains Orange & Banana
Drekker
Garth E. Beyer, certified Cicerone® and owner and founder of Garth’s Brew Bar in Madison, Wisconsin
My guilty pleasure beer is the Chonk sour series from Drekker. My favorite right now is the Orange and Banana. It’s guilty because I can rationalize to myself that I’m having a smoothie when I open one up to have with Sunday morning breakfast.
Maybe I still feel a little guilty enjoying a sour beer that early in the day. Maybe I don’t.
Rick Ross often makes weird headlines. The rapper revealed last month that he’s afraid to try almond milk: “Is they squeezing it out of the peanut?” In May, he made a lot of people jealous by admitting that he’s never had an email account. Now, he’s attempting to convince fans that he’s not a hoarder after a video circulated of his home that is… well… a little cluttered.
The video, posted by XXL, shows a lot of clothes and shoes, lining the hallways and covering up the floors. “I’m trying to organize some of this sh*t. Man, I got this sh*t spilling out every goddamn way,” Ross says. “Should Rozay have a damn yard sale?” He adds, “This ain’t no hoarder. This rich boss sh*t going on.”
The video went viral with lots of quote-tweets arguing that he is in fact a hoarder.
Rick Ross wants to know if he should have a yard sale for his excess clothes and shoes pic.twitter.com/63IYZpBOXp
Ross often calls himself a hustler, which is his excuse in this situation. In February, he wanted 10 oak trees in his backyard cut down but the price was $1,000 each, amounting to a grand total of $10,000. Instead of paying that fee, he put on a cowboy hat and did it himself. “They must’ve forgot who the f*ck I am,” he said in a video.
The 1950 screen classic All About Eve follows a Hollywood star (Bette Davis) who realizes too late her career is being usurped by a young, ambitious ingenue (Anne Baxter). Is the same thing happening to Donald Trump? For months, the former president has watched as a brash copycat — Florida governor Ron DeSantis — has angled in on his 2024 presidential aspirations. Recently Trump has amped up his attacks on him, even giving him a particularly lame nickname. Now he’s basically blackmailing him.
As per The New York Times, Trump spent part of Election Day 2022 — when the GOP might make a comeback after embracing a leader who helped foment a violent attack on the Capitol building — doing what he does best: trash-talking his many enemies. That includes DeSantis, who’s threatened to steal his second attempt at re-election.
“If he runs, he runs,” Trump told journalists, trying to seem cool. The detente didn’t last long. “If he did run, I will tell you things about him that won’t be very flattering. I know more about him than anybody other than perhaps his wife, who is really running his campaign.”
What skeletons will Trump summon from the closet? Will they be worse than the recent NYT piece that made some unsavory claims about DeSantis’ brief stint as an arrogant high school teacher who partied with kids and argued with Black students about the motivations behind the Civil War? Or is it all Trumpian bluster?
Trump himself has spent ages declining to formally throw his hat in the ring for 2024 — although he’s been happy to tease the inevitable, over and over and over again. Then again, he might have to run for office from the slammer.
It’s a new day and there are new bourbons to try, rank, and argue over. With the holidays just around the corner, now’s the time to start thinking about which bottles you’ll be taking to that Friendsgiving party or gifting in some secret Santa at work (always give booze at those). To that end, I grabbed eight new bourbons (either brand-new expressions or this year’s batch release) and tasted them blind.
I kept this panel of bourbon away from the mainstream to help find you something a little more “crafty.” Quite often, very small bourbons like Square 6 (tasted below) come from behemoths Heaven Hill but that particular expression is made entirely in their tiny craft distillery in a visitor’s center as a “craft” product. Other bourbons on this list are made at MGP of Indiana but then sent to specific regions where those whiskeys become something else via tinkering by a craft bottler or blender. The throughline here is that these are small-time and unique brands instead of overtly mainstream ones. (This is also in contrast to “crafty” flavor notes in a whiskey that denote “wet graininess” or “porridge” aspects popular in craft whiskeys these days).
To rank these bourbons, I’m going by the taste alone. Price is neither here nor there this time of year. This is simply about finding good new bourbon to drink and enjoy with friends and family. The point is to find something a little different and unique to try.
Our lineup today is:
Starlight Distillery Carl T. Huber’s Bottled-In-Bond Indiana Straight Bourbon Whiskey Batch no. B2205
Olde Raleigh Small Batch Honey Barrel Finished Bourbon
Bespoken Spirits Straight Bourbon Whiskey
Square 6 High-Rye Bourbon
Dunce Whiskey
Cathead Distillery Old Soul 7-Year-Old Bourbon TinType Series #1
The nose opens with a dark cherry bomb next to spiced prune jam over cinnamon and pecan waffles with real maple syrup, dark chocolate powder, and a hint of vanilla cream. The palate leans into Cherry Coke spicy vibes with a hint more of that dark chocolate leading to freshly fried apple fritters, eggnog creaminess, and a mix of orchard woods. The end has a soft warmth thanks to the wintry spices that lean toward sour, sweet, and spicy mulled wine with a whisper of fresh pipe tobacco laced with dates, dark cacao, and cedar bark.
Well, this is brilliant. Can we call this ranking now? This is going to be hard to beat.
Taste 2
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
There’s a tannic nature to the nose with dark and woody spices (cloves, allspice, anise) next to a mild sense of Honey Nut Cheerios. The palate has a honey candy feel next to Hot Tamale candies, singed toffee, and dark red berries with a dry edge. The end has a sense of honey vanilla wafers next to more of that bold cinnamon and woody allspice, a hint of cherry/vanilla, and a twinge of charred oak with honey tobacco backing.
This is pretty damn nice too. It’s subtle but has a bold woody/honey feel to it that’s very enticing.
Taste 3
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This has a very light nose with hints of winter spices, mocha lattes, and maybe some sourdough bread crusts with hints of orchard fruit and nuts. Those nuts lean toward peanut brittle on the palate with a whisper of gingerbread, Almond Joy, and maybe some more of that sourdough with a hint of salted butter. The end is ultimately pretty light but creamy, full of vanilla, and hints at apple tobacco.
This was fine. It feels like something you’d mix with more than a sipper though.
Taste 4
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This is a grain bomb on the nose with thick lines of wet oats, bran muffins, and cornbread batter mixed with pancake batter and maybe even some wet grass with hints of cherry soda and vanilla cookies lurking underneath with a dash of dark winter spice. The palate is largely the same with a massive dose of Cream O Wheat and buttery white grits next to molasses-laced bran muffins and vanilla white cake.
This is very much in the new wave of super grain/porridge forward craft bourbons. This one is especially pronounced in that way.
Taste 5
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
There’s a sense of orchard fruits next to dried cranberry, a hint of pear candy, and cinnamon/vanilla cookies dipped in waxy milk chocolate. The palate leans into the pear with a drizzle of caramel, chocolate, and vanilla sauces all spiked with mild winter spice. The end has a soft sweetness with a hint of Hot Tamale candies, chocolate tobacco, and pear juice.
This was also just fine. It was well-balanced but a little “meh” overall.
Taste 6
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
There’s a subtle boot leather on the nose with a hint of caraway on rye crust next to salted caramel sauce, and old oak staves with a hint of musty earthiness. The palate leans into the salted caramel with a buttery underbelly next to warm winter spices — cinnamon, cardamom, star anise — next to burnt orange and a whisper of marzipan. The end is fruity, vanilla-filled, and just kissed with woody tobacco spice.
This was a pretty nice pour overall. It felt like a solid sipper that’d also make a killer Manhattan thanks to that rye vibe.
Taste 7
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
There’s a whole fruit basket of fruitiness with stone fruit really shining through — think apricots and peaches — next to old tart apples, cinnamon sticks, toffees dusted with crushed almonds, and a murmur of chamomile tea. The palate has a crafty graininess that’s akin to oatmeal cookie dough with a hint of nuttiness, brown sugar, cinnamon, and something slightly floral but woody. The end brings the apricot back as a spicy jam with a little vanilla creaminess and tannic florals.
This was pretty good. I’m not quite sold on the floral note but it’s still well-balanced overall.
Taste 8
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This opens pretty tannic and a little plasticky with a sense of cinnamon sticks, allspice berries, and licorice root next to cans of fruit salad, vanilla extract, and a hint of caramel. The palate leans into the caramel sweetness before hitting a pretty tannic bitterness tied to a woody spiced nature and some burnt orange. There’s a hint of banana bread and clove next to more tannic vibes.
I don’t know. This felt off. There’s an artificial vibe on the nose and the palate is so woody that it’s hard to get much else.
Part 2: The Ranking
Zach Johnston
8. Oak & Eden Wheat & Spire Fired French Oak — Taste 8
This Indiana whiskey is sent down to Texas where it’s batched and bottled. The juice in this blend has a mash of 51% corn, 45% wheat, and only 4% malted barley. The whiskey is finished “in the bottle” with a toasted French Oak spire.
Bottom Line:
This one is a pass for me. It’s too overly done with that spire in the bottle.
Square 6 is Heaven Hill’s bespoke craft whiskey that’s made at the Evan Williams Experience on Louisville’s Whiskey Row. The very small batch juice is made with a mash of 52% corn, 35% rye, and 13% malted barley. It’s pot-distilled on-site and aged right there on Main Street.
Bottom Line:
This is a grain bomb and very indicative of craft bourbon right now. So if you’re looking for something completely different, this is the play.
This whiskey from Tamworth Distilling technically isn’t a bourbon even though the mash is 70 percent corn with rye and malted barley as support. The whiskey (that they don’t call a bourbon for some reason) is batched by Tamworth and bottled with a pretty accessible 90 proof.
Bottom Line:
This was very much in the “fine” section of the tasting. It didn’t really capture my interest.
This Northern California distillery is all about making “craft spirits.” The juice in the bottle is a standard straight bourbon that’s distilled at MGP and aged for two years before being finished/blended in California.
Bottom Line:
Again, this was very much in the “fine” section. This was nice enough, and had classic bourbon vibes, but was ultimately a little light.
This Colorado whiskey is made from a mix of local corn, malted wheat, malted rye, and beech-smoked malted barley. As per 291’s classic aging methods, the whiskey is aged for about two years with aspen wood staves in the barrel to accelerate the aging process. Finally, this is batched and bottled as-is.
Bottom Line:
This is where we get into the good stuff on this ranking. Overall, this was quality whiskey that had a nice depth to it. it was a little fruitier, which I think makes for a great mixing bourbon — especially with sours or flips.
3. Cathead Distillery Old Soul 7-Year-Old Bourbon TinType Series #1 — Taste 6
This whiskey was distilled in Indiana with a high-rye mash bill of 75% corn, 21% rye, and 4% malted barley. Those barrels were then sent to Jackson, Mississippi, where they spent a few years aging. Finally, the team at Cathead batched the barrels and bottled them as-is.
Bottom Line:
This is a solid whiskey all around. There’s great depth and balance. It’s also nice to try an MGP that was aged in the deep south instead of the Ohio Valley. It’s unique and tasty. You can’t ask for more. Well, maybe it could be a bit cheaper.
The juice in this bottle is a four-grain of corn, malted barley, rye, and wheat from barrels of whiskey sourced from Colorado, Indiana, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Wyoming. Those barrels were five, nine, and 17 years old when they went into this blend and were finished in an old honey barrel.
Bottom Line:
This was very nice. It was super easy to drink with a clear honey vibe. Overall, I’d 100% use this for my next Gold Rush or whiskey sour.
1. Starlight Distillery Carl T. Huber’s Bottled-In-Bond Indiana Straight Bourbon Whiskey Batch no. B2205 — Taste 1
This new release from Huber Farm’s Starlight Distillery (the distillery to know if you’re in the know) is made from their high-corn mash with a sweet mash method (each batch is fresh) in their old copper pot still. The whiskey is barreled in Canton barrels and left to age on the farm for four years before it’s batched (only 20 barrels) and proofed down to 100 proof for bottling.
Bottom Line:
This was the best bottle of whiskey today and it wasn’t even close. This was both classic and fresh with a deep bourbon feel. It was lush and silky and enticed you back for more. It also feels like it’d make an amazing cocktail while being an easy sipper.
Part 3: Final Thoughts
Zach Johnston
Brass tacks, numbers four, three, and two are worth seeking out. Look back at those tasting notes and see what speaks to you. Five through eight are probably pretty skippable at the end of the day.
In the end, none of these came close to Starlight’s Bottled-in-Bond bourbon. It’s a damn near perfect whiskey in that category and really hits the flavor profile outta the park. Hurry though, it’ll sell out quickly on Seelbach’s.
The John Wick franchise began with a simple premise: What if a retired assassin killed everyone because someone murdered his dog? From these humble origins has sprung some increasingly byzantine worldbuilding, yielding not only numerous sequels but two in-the-works spinoffs. One of them, the female-centric Ballerina, just added franchise regular Ian McShane to the mix. But while they’re at it, they might just add star Keanu Reeves as well, even if just for a bit.
As per Variety, Reeves is in talks to make what may only be an appearance in Ballerina, which stars Ana de Armas as a young female assassin seeking revenge upon those who killed her family. (Real heads may recall that de Armas helped gleefully torture Reeves in Eli Roth’s 2015 film Knock Knock.)
Reeves’ involvement in Ballerina has not yet been finalized, but at least it’s a done deal for McShane, who was there from the start as Winston, the debonair manager of the assassin friendly hotel The Continental (which is also getting its own spinoff, albeit as a series). Details about the film’s plot are scant, but McShane — beloved for charming but rogueish antique dealer Lovejoy and cuss-happy Old West entrepreneur Al Swearengen on Deadwood — is said to play a “pivotal” role in whatever violent tomfoolery is afoot.
Again, Reeves’ Ballerinas involvement may be minimal, which at least ought to be good news for Matthew Perry.
Did you know Chris Evans has a bunch of tattoos? And that some of them are chest tattoos? Last year, while casually doing a virtual interview, the erstwhile Steve Rogers dressed down just a little too much, enough that some chest tats peaked out from under his undershirt. Evans had shown them off before, but apparently most people didn’t get the memo, and the internet all but melted down. Now that Evans is People’s latest Sexiest Man Alive (to the horror of John Oliver), it was all but inevitable that they’d be back in the news.
People zeroed in on the Marvel alum’s many new tattoos in a separate piece, deducing that he has eight. One is an eagle tattoo, emblazoned on his chest. Another, also on his chest, commemorates his dog Dodger, whom he adopted in 2017. Yet another, on his stomach, honors his late friend Matt Bardsley, who died in an off-roading accident in 2003.
Thing is, there used to be nine tattoos. One of them he got removed. It was the Chinese character for “family,” and it used to run down from his right shoulder down his arm. It’s visible in some older photos. In a 2014 interview with The Hot Hits, he didn’t explicitly explain why he got it removed, but he did strongly hint at his motivation.
— Chris Evans Forum – FANSITE (@ChrisEvansForum) May 1, 2018
“I really like tattoos, but the problem is, when you wear a short-sleeve shirt in a movie, that’s an extra hour in the makeup chair. It’s not worth it,” he explained. “I’m all for tattoos, but just somewhere they can be hidden.”
Still, eight out of nine ain’t bad. Anyway, congrats to Chris Evans for the honor — and congrats to those who wanted him to nab it last year, when it went to another Avenger instead.
Nothing beats the crispy fizz of a cold bottle of sparkling water. It has the satisfying snap and bite of a can of Coke without all the calories and sugar, it’s just as refreshing as a bottle of water (though not as hydrating), and can take a few ounces of alcohol and elevate it into a straight-up cocktail. It’s one of the most versatile beverages you can have in your fridge!
Over the past few years, the range of sparkling water brands widely available at stores has exploded. Just take a peek at the refrigerated aisle at your local gas station or corner store and you’ll find more brands of sparkling water than all of the energy drinks and bottled water brands combined. And that’s not even including the flavored varieties.
Do we really need that many different brands? Probably not, but while most sparkling water brands taste the same, where they differ is in the texture, mouthfeel, and carbonation level. So who makes the best sparkling water? Before we figure that out, let’s lay out what exactly makes for great carbonated water in the first place.
First and foremost, it has to have a good fizz level. We’re not looking for moderate bubbles, we’re looking for that refreshing blast of carbonation that sizzles on the tongue. After that, the most important aspect is the aftertaste. Does it leave your palate and throat feeling stale and dry or does it have you wanting another gulp?
Methodology
The rule for this blind taste test is simple: if it has bubbles and no added flavors, it’s fair game whether it brands itself as club soda, mineral water, or sparkling water. In our search we found 10 brands that seem to be the most common, here is our class:
Canada Dry — Club Soda
La Croix — Pure
Liquid Death — Sparkling Water
Jarritos — Mineragua Sparking Water
Perrier — Carbonated Mineral Water
Proud Source — Sparkling Water
San Pellegrino — Sparkling Mineral Water
Saratoga — Sparkling Spring Water
Schweppes — Club Soda
Topo Chico Mineral Water
I tried each of these bottles in an unmarked glass and jotted down my impressions. Unlike our alcohol-blind taste tests, there was no fear of getting drunk or exhausting my palate, so I made sure to drink at least six ounces of each. Here is how it all played out.
Part 1: The Tasting
Taste 1:
Dane Rivera
It fizzes in the glass but strangely calms as soon as it hits your tongue. The flavor has a slight sweet lift on the backend with a soft and smooth mouthfeel, but there isn’t enough fizz for this to really satisfy.
Taste 2:
Dane Rivera
Weirdly bitter on the initial taste. The fizz is enough to feel on the tongue, but it’s still not pronounced enough. It lacks… crispness.
Taste 3:
Dane Rivera
This is what I’m talking about. A nice fizz with small carbonation bubbles that snap on the tongue. The aftertaste is a bit blunt and bitter. Loving the fizz but not loving the flavor.
Taste 4:
Dane Rivera
Another tasting with a satisfying level of fizz but the aftertaste is worryingly metallic. Seriously, it tastes almost like I’m drinking something out of a… can? Is this Liquid Death?
I didn’t drink more of this than I had to in order to get a handle on the experience. It left me with a weird bitterness on my palate.
Taste 5:
Dane Rivera
I’m really torn on this one. On one hand, it tastes great, a tinge of sweetness lingers on the aftertaste and it’s very soft and silky on the palate but the fizz leaves a lot to be desired. It’s almost like the bubbles are too small, they’re not present enough.
I can see this being someone’s personal favorite but for me, that lack of fizz is going to hurt it.
Taste 6:
Dane Rivera
Wow, this one is really really nice. It practically sizzles on the tongue! It strikes the perfect balance between fizz and flavor, with a soft mouthfeel that goes down really smoothly. It starts with a snap and crackle and settles as it bathes the palate in this perfect way. I can see this being the perfect soda to use in a cocktail.
Taste 7:
Dane Rivera
This hits you with a nice fizz that settles into a soft and satisfying mouthfeel. It’s very similar to Taste 6 but doesn’t have that same snap. On its own it’s delicious, but I can’t see this fizz translating once mixed in a cocktail so it seems a lot less versatile than the last taste.
This is a close second for me so far though.
Taste 8:
Dane Rivera
Flat. Totally fizzless, it has that bitter and blunt quality that is characteristic of sparkling water, but none of the mouth sensation. Truly one of the worst sparkling waters I’ve ever had.
Taste 9:
Dane Rivera
Very bitter. The fizz is good, but the overwhelming bitter flavor of this makes the overall experience pretty subpar. This one is sure to land somewhere in the middle for the ranking.
Taste 10:
Dane Rivera
Look at the bubbles on this thing! This was by far the fizziest, hitting the palate with an initial sizzle that continued to burn down the throat. I like it, but the flavor is a bit more bitter than Taste 6, with a slightly rusty quality to it. It also gave me instant burps, maybe it’s because I drank about a liter of club soda before I got to this one, but this one definitely pushed me over the edge into gassiness.
Canada Dry has been in business since 1904 and is one of the easiest brands of club soda you can find. I’ve seen this everywhere in markets, liquor stores, gas station snack fridges, and bars and prior to this blind taste test it would probably be one of my first choices if I needed to pick up a bottle of club soda. Never again. I can’t believe just how flat this bottle tasted in comparison to everything else on offer.
It’s incredibly cheap and you can find it everywhere but that’s not always a good thing.
The Bottom Line:
Avoid this one at all costs. It might be cheap, but it’s way too flat to be satisfying and outside of the fizz, it’s too bitter.
Everybody loves La Croix. It’s the brand that helped to put sparkling water as a soda substitute on everyone’s radar, but the unsweetened Pure flavor is the brand’s absolute worst. The overwhelming metallic taste of this one makes it undrinkable, which is a shame because it has a nice fizz. Pure is only available as a 12-pack which means if you ever pick up a case of one of these, you’ll probably end up having 11 cans in your fridge until the day you die.
It’s so bad that you probably wouldn’t even offer it to thirsty guests.
The Bottom Line:
Way too metallic to be enjoyable. Just reach for one of La Croix’s fruit-flavored cans, they’re still 0 calories but taste significantly better.
With one of the worst names of any sparkling water, Proud Source touts itself as mineral-rich spring water from Idaho springs that is filtered by nature through layers of ancient volcanic rock. Does any of that matter when it comes to fizzy water? We’re not so sure. It certainly doesn’t lend itself to tasting better. Not only did this one have a weak fizz, but the flavor was blunt and bitter.
Maybe the spring water is good, but the sparkling water is sub-par at best. To be fair to Proud Source, the can does state that it is “lightly carbonated” and this is one of the few sparkling water brands to contain electrolytes.
Cool, but that doesn’t result in better-tasting water.
The Bottom Line:
Bitter with a weak fizz. This one, while not bad, doesn’t have anything going for it either.
Schweppes has been around since 1783. As long as sparkling water has been a thing, Schweppes has been there, and as such this brand is everywhere. If a store doesn’t have Canada Dry, it has Schweppes. The brands are nearly interchangeable in looks and price, making them easy pick ups for budget buys. But if you want the better flavor, you’re going to have to go with Schweppes.
Both have the same bitter flavor, but Schweppes has the better fizz and that’s all it takes to land near the middle of our ranking.
The Bottom Line:
It tastes cheap and is cheap, but it provides a nice fizz that’ll pair well with your favorite spirit.
It’s your favorite podcaster’s favorite sparkling water! Liquid Death is a prominent sponsor on a lot of podcasts and I’m not sure if that has to do with the insane popularity of this fairly new brand or if it’s the tall-boy resembling can, but people seem to love this stuff. Liquid Death doesn’t just look like a can of beer though, according to the website it’s actually carbonated like one as well.
Liquid Death contains 5 grams of carbonation per liter, while the typical club soda contains anywhere between 6 and 7 grams. That means Liquid Death is less fizzy than most brands, and that was apparent in the tasting — the fizz isn’t very pronounced here, though it is still snappy and satisfying.
The Bottom Line:
A nice subtle fizz with a pleasing flavor that doesn’t come across as bitter.
5. S. Pellegrino — Sparkling Mineral Water (Taste 5)
S. Pellegrino is the most pretentious sparkling water on the market. This is the brand that is often served by restaurants when you ask for water and they reply, “sparkling or still?” I get it. The brand is sourced from the Italian Alps and it does have a silky smooth mouthfeel and a satisfying flavor, but for me, it’s not nearly fizzy enough.
If you’re after flavor and a subtle fizz, this will probably be your favorite brand, but if you like a sparkling water that has snap and bite like a can of cold Coca-Cola, this is going to leave a lot to be desired.
The Bottom Line:
A nice flavor and a silky mouthfeel, but a very unsatisfying fizz.
Perrier is another brand that has been around for a long time — since 1863, to be exact. The brand originates in France and features what it calls a ‘balanced amount of bubbles and mineral content.’ I really like the crispiness on this one, it’s very similar to the experience of drinking S. Pellegrino but with a much more satisfying fizzing bite. I’m not sure how much there is to this, but I’ve noticed that Perrier tends to be a bit fizzier from a glass bottle than the cheaper plastic bottles.
We used the glass bottle variety in this tasting, I’m not sure if the plastic version would’ve resulted in a lower ranking but it’s just something to keep in mind if you’ve got multiple options!
The Bottom Line:
The same luxurious mouthfeel as S. Pellegrino with a much more pronounced fizz.
3. Jarritos — Minerague Sparkling Water (Taste 10)
Made by Jarritos brand (makers of the delicious Mexican sodas) Mineragua has a stunningly satisfying bite. It burns the tongue and the throat in this really pleasing way but ultimately what held it back for me is the flavor. It’s fizzy but comes across as a bit too bitter for its own good.
The brand’s tagline is “life with sparkles” and it definitely doesn’t sparkle louder than every other brand in our tasting.
The Bottom Line:
Satisfyingly fizzy with a burning aftertaste but it leans too heavily on the bitter side for its own good.
Prior to this tasting I had never tasted nor come across Saratoga’s Sparkling Spring Water but now I consider myself a fan. This stuff is great! Made and bottled in Saratoga Springs, this is an American take on fancy sparkling water ala S. Pellegrino and Perrier. It has the same silky smooth mouthfeel but tastes noticeably cleaner without any bitter aftertaste whatsoever.
The brand touts itself as “the perfect balance of light taste with just the right amount of carbonation,” and I’d say the nail that self-description. It has a subtle bite to it but doesn’t stain the palate with a bitter or stale aftertaste, making this the perfect palate cleanser.
The Bottom Line:
Refreshingly fizzy with a silky smooth flavor that washes the palate clean. If you’re looking for a carbonated water to pair with your meal, this is the best choice.
Bottled at the source in Monterey Mexico, Topo Chico is one of the only sparkling water brands that come with a legend attached. According to Topo Chico, a long time ago an Aztec princess was ill and carried hundreds of miles to the spring where she drank the water and bathed in it, later experiencing a miraculous recovery. That’s a wild f*cking story, especially because Topo Chico is essentially saying is that their sparkling water is Aztec Princess bath water. Yum?
Crazy origin story aside, Topo Chico is far and above the best sparkling water we tasted in our blind taste test. It has the perfect snap and crackle on the palate, first greeting you with a sizzle that settles into a smooth and subtly sweet finish. I can’t get enough of this stuff.
The Bottom Line:
If you like the snap, bite, and crackle of a can of Coca-Cola but want something unsweetened, this is your drink. It is, as far as we’re concerned, perfect. It starts fizzy and ends smooth and comes across as more versatile than the other brands, whether you’re looking to mix it or simply drink it straight.
America looks — and feels — a lot different today than it did six years ago, when Donald Trump was running for president for the first time. One thing that hasn’t changed, however, is Russia’s interest in our democracy, along with their wish to see sh*t-disturbing Republicans like Trump in office in order to create a more chaotic United States.
As The Daily Beast reports, Dmitry Abzalov, director of the Center for Strategic Communications, appeared on Russian state TV on Tuesday and confirmed that: “Of course we depend on the U.S. elections. Anyone who is doubting that should take a look at today’s dominating news topics. Every field commander is reporting that they’re plugged into American elections, planning to watch them at night. Why would they need to watch if everything was decided over here?”
It’s a fair, albeit disheartening, question. But Abzalov is hardly the only Kremlin mouthpiece saying the quiet part out loud.
Andrey Sidorov, Moscow State University’s deputy dean of world politics, has been a fiercely vocal opponent of Joe Biden and his desire to see Russia come to the table to negotiate with Ukraine following Putin’s invasion of the country back in February. Which he made clear over the weekend while appearing as a guest on Kremlin TV’s Sunday Evening With Vladimir Solovyov.
After sharing a clip of Trump launching a verbal attack on Biden, Solovyov described the former president as a “smart person who openly says everything that many Americans are thinking.”
But it was Sidorov who really brought the point home when he explained that part of their affinity for Trump is the discord that follows him. “We couldn’t care less how they feel about each other,” he said, referring to Trump’s critics. “But Trump generates a lot of hatred in America’s society. From my standpoint, the more they hate each other, the better it is for us.”
And if that wasn’t enough to convince viewers of exactly how Russian lawmakers feel about American chaos, perhaps Sergei Luzyanin, a professor at the Moscow State Institute of International Relations under the Russian Foreign Ministry, said it best when he basically described Russia as the Michael Jackson eating popcorn GIF:
“After the midterm elections, we’ll see a glass jar full of poisonous American spiders, tearing each other up. Go ahead and eat one another! It will be a frightening political process… It may also lead to tactical or strategic changes in their foreign policy… Get lots of popcorn and let’s watch.”
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