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‘The Gatoh Move Experience’ Showcases The World’s Most Joyful Pro Wrestling

While most wrestling programs were either on hiatus or trying to make things work without an audience, Fite TV started airing what might be perfect weekly wrestling show for this pandemic, The Gatoh Move Experience. Shows from Emi Sakura’s promotion Gatoh Move – filmed back when it was completely fine to gather in groups – are set to air for free on Fite on Tuesdays at 6 PM Pacific/9 PM Eastern, and their style of wrestling might be just what everyone’s quarantined brain needs.

Though Gatoh Move’s events rarely have audiences of over a hundred people, it has developed an international reputation. Over the past year or so, more eyes have been drawn to the promotion by Sakura and her protégé Riho performing for All Elite Wrestling, and gifs and videos from Gatoh Move matches (especially ones featuring LuLu Pencil) being shared around on the wrestling internet. The company has also gotten more exposure through a relationship with UK women’s promotion Pro Wrestling EVE, and by hosting guest stars with their own fan bases, including Kenny Omega, Chris Brookes, and recently Minoru Suzuki.

Gatoh Move began in 2012 in Thailand, but its home venue is now in Tokyo at Ichigaya Chocolate Square, a small performing space (the people watching the show through the window are actually watching it from outside in an alley) that’s as much of a character in the world of Gatoh Move as New York is in Sex and the City. The venue contributes to the show’s friendly, cozy atmosphere; the audience seated around the brightly-colored mat is a visual reminiscent of preschool and indie theater.


The first episode of the Fite series shows a Gatoh Move event from December 30, 2018, and after a song from the roster, it kicks off with a match between the newcomer An Chamu and the veteran Riho, a few months before she left Gatoh Move to join AEW and make Stardom her new home promotion in Japan. It’s followed by another vet vs. rookie matchup: Saki vs. the energetic Mei Suruga, who in 2020 is probably the ace of Gatoh Move. After these two pretty straightforward singles matches, the main event is a more comedic intergender fight, Hyakkin Thunders (Emi Sakura and DDT’s Masahiro Takanashi) and Baliyan Akki vs. the superhero team of Mitsuru Konno, Sawasadee Kamen, and Sayaka Obihiro.

Each of the matches has its own tone, characters, and story, but one uniquely Gatoh Move thing they have in common is how the wrestlers utilize the environment of Ichigaya Chocolate Square, using the open windows and the wall similarly to how wrestlers use ropes in regular rings. Less often, the lack of ropes or any other barrier between the wrestling space and the fans means that performers make contact with the audience – but only intentionally, and during some sequences you can’t help but be impressed that they don’t bump into the spectators more.

The Gatoh Move Experience ends in an even more friendly, less traditional way than it begins, with the wrestlers passing out cups of tea to the audience and chatting with them (mostly in Japanese, with English subtitles.) Wrestlers being wrestlers means they obviously hawk their merch, but the roster also updates the fans on what they’ve been doing in their careers and what they have coming up, sometimes with promos thrown in. In this episode, the group celebrates two special occasions during this part of the show: Saki’s sixth wrestling anniversary and Gatoh Move’s last event of 2018, which prompts the company founder to give out end-of-the-year Sakura Awards.

During this segment, Suruga tells some audience members from overseas in English that “Gatoh Move is like a family, so you are my family.” The Gatoh Move experience isn’t quite that intimate through a screen, but the warmth and creativity of the promotion Sakura says promotes a “joyful kind of wrestling” is easily felt. In a time when people are cut off from their communities, it’s that friendly atmosphere, along with the promotion’s fun matches and charismatic performers, that might make The Gatoh Move Experience the ideal wrestling show for the social distancing era.

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‘Better Call Saul’ Truth And Lies: Welcome To The Kim Wexler Show

Better Call Saul is a show with range. Some characters like Jimmy/Saul lie constantly, others like Mike tell the truth to a fault. With that in mind, our coverage this season will be structured as a collection of true and false statements about each episode. Welcome to Better Call Saul Truth And Lies.

TRUTH — Kim Wexler is very good at this

Good news and bad news on the Kim Wexler front this week.

The good news is that Kim Wexler rules. We knew that, admittedly, but it’s nice to be reminded. Watch the scene where she chews out Lalo again. Watch it twice. Watch it all day for all I care. It’s a blast. She tears that man apart, making very good points about his organization and his decision-making and what yahoos might do with an abandoned car they found in the desert. That whole situation was going very poorly for Jimmy before she stepped in, with Lalo being just as menacing as anyone can possibly be, making Jimmy tell the falsified story over and over and tapping on the fish tank like the sociopath he is.

It would have been impressive even if she believed it. She didn’t, of course, at least not that main thrust of it, because she saw the coffee cup and knew there was at least one bullet involved in Jimmy’s adventure. This was the first she heard about the bullets in the car. She could have been forgiven for taking a second to contemplate all of that, from the lie itself to the way it was revealed to how the hell she ended up in that room with those two lunatics in the first place. But she rolled with it, and into it, putting on a performance that even Saul Goodman would have to tip his hat to on his best day. Maybe it was even more than that. Even the best Saul Goodman ruses come with a whiff of the theatrical, a slick magic trick via misdirection. Kim summoned righteous fury, thunder from the gods, in an instant. This was literally life or death and she pulled it off. It was incredible. Look at your queen.

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This brings us to the bad news, sadly. As fun as this was to watch, as great as she was at it, it was… not good. Not long-term, at least. If she was only tangentially in the game before, cussing out Lalo like that has her all the way in. She’s very much on his radar. And that’s before we get to the Jimmy part of it, where he lied to her again after promising not to, and where his actions brought this to their door. To their home. That’s not great.

And even if we strip away all the context, bad omens all around. Maybe I’ve seen too many C+/B- action movies but quitting your lucrative job to follow your dream is rarely a good sign. It’s on the list with “I’m doing one last job” and “I’m two weeks away from retirement.” Not quite as bad as those two but worrying all the same. Kim Wexler is the only character worth rooting for on this show. She is also, in a development that is partially related to that last thing and partially related to Rhea Seehorn absolutely crushing the performance in a way that demands repeated recognition, the best character on the show right now.

I did not see that coming. I worry about her every day. Even though she can clearly handle herself pretty well.

LIE — Mike is a great therapist

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Poor Jimmy. It was one thing to be stuck in the desert with Mike because at least then you have Mike’s A+ survival skills in your corner. But now, this? This will not do at all. Jimmy is falling to pieces, suffering from some very understandable PTSD from the shootout in the desert and questioning what he’s even doing defending Lalo, a terrifying monster who very much killed an innocent man. He needs an actual therapist. One he can discuss his many, many issues with — including all the ones that led him to the desert, going back to childhood — over many, many years. Instead, he has… Mike.

Mike is many things. He is a guy who gets things done. He is an effective sniper. He is, as we learned earlier this season, a fan of my beloved Philadelphia Eagles. He is not, however, a sympathetic ear or great sounding board in times of personal struggle. You could see how much he hated having that talk. He wanted it to be over before it started. He would prefer to communicate with grunts and sighs, please and thank you.

That doesn’t mean there’s nothing in there. Mike has his own issues, largely related to the boy he broke. It’s not just that he’s the strong and silent type, generally, it’s also that he’s a shell of a dude who decided a while ago that he’s only staying alive to provide for his granddaughter. That’s it. No further motivation besides occasionally trying to do as right as possible while doing wrong. Going to Mike for emotional support is not entirely unlike going to a fire hydrant for emotional support. They’re both squat and made of iron and, until Mike’s sunburn fades, bright red all over.

On the bright side for Jimmy, at least he learned that saying “I had to drink my own pee” is a really great way to end a conversation and put a close to an uncomfortable line of questioning. Not many follow-ups coming after that. Something to file away.

TRUTH — If one wanted to, one could make a surprisingly reasonable argument that Lalo Salamanca is Spider-man

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A surprisingly reasonable argument that Lalo Salamanca is Spider-man, in four parts:

1. He has this weird sixth sense that allows him to sniff out both danger and bullshit, which we’ve seen before but especially saw this week when, with no provocation or great reason to be suspicious, he decided at the last possible minute to investigate Jimmy’s story and hunt down the bullet-riddled car he and Mike heaved into a ravine.

2. He leaped into that ravine like a damn parkour world champion, with not a second of hesitation, one season after we also saw him commit a murder by climbing into the ceiling of a travel agency and bursting through the tiles before landing on his feet like a cat.

3. We haven’t not seen him shoot webs out of his wrists.

4. I would like it.

I don’t see how we can rule any of this out just yet.

LIE — Things are going great for Nacho

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Mike tried, man. Mike really tried. He got back from the desert and went to Gus with the pitch to cut Nacho loose before he even got all the sand out of the places where sand tends to linger. He made a decent case, too, a strong one. The only real mistake he made was continuing to push after Gus shot him down. Mike’s a good man. He meant very well. But questioning Gus Fring’s methods, even if you’re doing it because you have a legitimate concern about using a man’s innocent father as leverage, will not get you very far.

And it didn’t! Gus went from a soft but considered “no” to forcefully comparing Nacho to a dog that needs discipline. That does not bode well for Nacho. He was never getting off that easy, I think we all know that now, but the extra push from Mike didn’t help the situation very much. Now he’s hopelessly under Fring’s thumb and in a car with Lalo bound for somewhere in Mexico to do something that will almost definitely cause problems for a substantial number of people north of the border.

At this point his best bet is to grow a mustache and flee to Europe. I think Nacho would like Europe.

TRUTH — Whoever picked out the “Land of Enchantment” t-shirt for Mike Ehrmantraut is now entitled to one ice cream sundae on me

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This is one of those things that Better Call Saul does so well, arguably better than any show on television. They could have put Mike in any crappy truck stop t-shirt they wanted. They’re all ugly and cheesy and usually have the town or state’s name on them. The options were limitless, or at least very close to it. But to pull “Land of Enchantment” and put it on Mike Ehrmantraut of all people… my god. I laughed out loud then and I just laughed out loud again a little while typing this.

My only complaint about any of it is that, I mean, I’m not the only one who wanted to see him in that truck stop buying the shirt, right? The mere fact that he selected it implies it was the best and most suitable option. Which means there were worse options. I want to see those options. I want to see Mike’s face looking at those options. I want to see Jimmy suggest Mike just get the same shirt he bought, then I want to see Mike do the “do I really want to be stuck at a truck stop with this guy in matching crappy t-shirts?” math and let out an all-time Ehrmantraut groan before selecting Land of Enchantment. Maybe a web extra.

You know what? I’m feeling generous. A second ice cream sundae to the person or persons responsible for this shot from the cold open…

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… both because it was also a nice callback to the similar split-screen “Something Stupid” cold open montage from last season and because it is really a heck of an image to behold. Two ice cream sundaes. You’ve all earned them.

LIE — Next week’s season finale should be a very relaxed affair

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Let’s take a brief glimpse at what’s on deck:

  • Kim knows Jimmy lied about his desert adventure and knows he was shot at because of the bullet-riddled coffee cup, but Jimmy doesn’t know for sure that she knows, and it’s going to be a whole thing
  • Suspicious Lalo is screaming toward Mexico with Nacho and bad intentions along for the ride
  • Gus is continuing to do subterfuge, which sometimes involves blowing up chicken restaurants
  • Jimmy is spiraling
  • Kim is in the game
  • Mike has a cool shirt
  • Hector has a party hat

I can’t wait.

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2020 WNBA Mock Draft: Sabrina Ionescu Is The Clear No. 1, But Who Should Go Next?

There are four days until the 2020 WNBA Draft and excitement levels are high for this year’s very talented class of prospects.

The WNBA is one of the hardest leagues for players to enter and stay in — sometimes especially for rookies. Each of the WNBA’s 12 teams have a roster minimum of 11 players, and most opt to sign a 12th player for flexibility and in case of injuries. That makes for just 144 roster spots in the entire league. And if that wasn’t enough, unlike the NBA, the WNBA does not guarantee contracts for first-round picks, meaning that teams are able to cut their first-round picks even before the season tips off.

Oregon superstar Sabrina Ionescu leads the pack in this year’s draft class, but questions remain about the remaining 11 spots. Also, what will the Dallas Wings do with all four of their first round draft picks?

The 2020 WNBA Draft will be happening virtually on April 17, starting at 7 p.m. ET on ESPN. Aside from who gets picked, a lot of uncertainties surround the league due to the spread of the coronavirus. The 2020 WNBA season is currently on hold after training camp, scheduled to start on April 26, and the first games of the season on May 15 were postponed indefinitely. If the season ends up being canceled completely, these draftees may not see the floor until 2021.

Without further ado, here are our picks for the first round of the 2020 WNBA Draft.

1. New York Liberty — Sabrina Ionescu (PG, Oregon)

Sabrina Ionescu. You know the name and you know how great she is. The back-to-back winner of the Wooden Award, the greatest player to wear the Ducks jersey, and the first NCAA player to reach 2,000 points, 1,000 assists and 1,000 rebounds in her career.

The New York Liberty hold the No. 1 pick for the first time in the team’s history, and they have likely never been more excited. With the hiring of Walt Hopkins as head coach and a long-awaited proper home in the Barclays Center, the team is hoping to usher in a new age of progress after a couple years of mediocrity.

When and if the Liberty select Ionescu in the draft, there will be a lot of pressure on the young guard to help turn this team of solid young players into something great. But if anyone can do it, it’s the 22-year-old sensation who never backed down from a challenge at Oregon and embraced the spotlight.

2. Dallas Wings — Satou Sabally (F, Oregon)

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Another Oregon superstar, Satou Sabally is a magnificent talent in this year’s draft and a player many teams in the league would like to have. The Oregon junior announced her intent to go pro in February, and she averaged 15 points while shooting 39% from beyond the arc, six rebounds and two assists per game this year. She also boasts some high-level defensive ability, and was in the top three for Oregon in blocks and rebounds this season.

The Wings drafted guard Arike Ogunbowale last year and started to build around her, but it is hard to see them turn down Sabally. In fact, the 6’4 forward, with her guard-like ball handling and scoring ability, could even be the perfect complement to Ogunbowale and help take off some of the offensive load. Following Skylar Diggins-Smith’s exit in free agency and the team’s last-place finish in the West last year, the Wings are looking to rebuild by scooping up all the young talent they can in this year’s draft.

3. Indiana Fever — Lauren Cox (C, Baylor)

ESPN has Lauren Cox going second in the draft over Sabally, but most other experts think she’ll go to Indiana with the No. 3 pick. Also 6’4, Cox is an elite defender, averaging three blocks and one steal per game this season.

Questions have been asked about her health — Cox missed eight games this season with a stress fracture in her foot — but she can help any team in the league. This season, Cox averaged 12.5 points and 8.4 rebounds, winning Big 12 Player of the Year and leading the Lady Bears to the conference’s regular-season title for the second year in a row.

The Fever have a strong frontcourt presence in Teira McCowan at center — Cox has experience playing with 6’6 big Kalani Brown at Baylor last year — and by adding Cox, they would only get stronger. With a potential starting lineup of Erica Wheeler, Victoria Vivians, Candice Dupree, McCowan and Cox, Indiana looks like a playoff team.

4. Atlanta Dream — Chennedy Carter (G, Texas A&M)

A very high-usage player for the Aggies, Chennedy Carter is a solid shooter who isn’t afraid to let fly but she’s also shown an ability to create her own shot off the dribble. The three-time All-American led her team in points per game with 21.3 this season, although she did so on 45% shooting and just 29% from three-point range. Known mostly for her ability to get a bucket, her passing skills are still flying under the radar.

Not yet a very efficient shooter, Carter does have the kind of heart and intensity that a player needs to succeed in this league. The Atlanta Dream have assembled an almost brand new cast this offseason, with the additions of Courtney Williams, Shekinna Stricklen and more. With all the talent they brought in, they still need some depth at the point guard position, which Carter can provide. Atlanta would do well to have Carter as an offensive-minded sixth woman who can certainly score, but also thrives in creating shots for others.

5. Dallas Wings — Megan Walker (F, Connecticut)

Along with the No. 2 pick, the Wings also hold the No. 5 pick (and the seventh and ninth slots, too). Coming off her best season with UConn, Megan Walker is a strong shooter — especially from beyond the arc. This season, the junior averaged 20 points per game, shooting 48% from the field and 45.1% from three-point range.

Last season, the Wings attempted only 23 corner threes and shot just 32.7% from mid-range. Walker would provide an immediate improvement for Dallas’ shooting and, at 6’ tall, she can slot into the Wings’ lineup in different positions.

6. Minnesota Lynx — Tyasha Harris (G, South Carolina)

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Playing for the electric South Carolina Gamecocks, Ty Harris averaged 12 points, 3.5 rebounds and 5.6 assists per game this season. These aren’t astronomical numbers, but Harris was playing alongside scoring talents like Zia Cooke and Aliyah Boston. Harris is very adept at finding her teammates and she has steadily improved her shooting year after year. Lynx head coach Cheryl Reeves can surely see her strong defensive instincts and shooting potential and develop Harris further.

The Lynx saw mainstay Seimone Augustus leave in free agency and saw main target Diggins-Smith go to Phoenix. Maya Moore is still not returning, Sylvia Fowles is reaching the end of her career and Odyssey Sims is reportedly pregnant. Minnesota needs a strong point guard to lead the floor alongside Lexie Brown and 2019 Rookie of the Year Napheesa Collier, and Harris can be that player for them.

7. Dallas Wings — Te’a Cooper (G, Baylor)

Te’A Cooper is a solid combo guard who can shoot the ball. This season, she averaged 13.6 points, 2.3 rebounds and 4.6 assists. She played for three different schools throughout her college career, but really found her footing at Baylor, helping them win the Big 12 while shooting 41.5% from beyond the arc.

At 5’8, Cooper is slightly undersized but she’s lightning quick and can help the Wings get buckets alongside Ogunbowale. Dallas’ Moriah Jefferson is also coming off an injury and hasn’t played since 2018, and Cooper can help make her return smooth by taking some minutes and carrying some of the scoring load.

8. Chicago Sky — Beatrice Mompremier (C, Miami)

At 6’4, Beatrice Mompremier is a strong post player who looks ready for the WNBA. She averaged 16.4 points and 10.1 rebounds this season and improved her free throw shooting percentage to 73.1%, up from just 57.1% the year before. However, she only played 16 games this year due to a foot injury so taking her at No. 8 could be a bit of a gamble.

Nonetheless, the Sky could use more size in the frontcourt and Mompremier might be the perfect fit, with her solid defensive skills and strong presence in the post. She can easily come in for Jantel Lavender or the recently-acquired Azurá Stevens, both of whom are coming off foot injuries.

9. Dallas Wings — Bella Alarie (F, Princeton)

The talk around Bella Alarie has increased in recent weeks, and for good reason. Alarie is a skilled frontcourt player who averaged 17.5 points, 8.6 rebounds and 2.3 assists this season for the Tigers. She shot 47.4% from the field and expanded her range a bit, shooting 35.6% from three on 2.6 attempts per game. At 6’4, she’s a big who can space the floor, clean up defensively and without the intense Ivy League defensive pressure, she should thrive in the WNBA for years to come.

With four first round picks, the Wings could either trade her or keep her as a future piece with the rest of their young stars.

10. Phoenix Mercury — Ruthy Hebard (F, Oregon)

For the Ducks this season, Ruthy Hebard averaged a whopping 17.5 points, 9.7 rebounds and 1.3 assists per game. She’s a very efficient scorer, shooting 68% from the field — good for second in the country — and was crucial down low for Oregon. She might not be able to shoot from three, but she’s a traditional big who can help the Mercury off the bench.

11. Seattle Storm — Crystal Dangerfield (G, Connecticut)

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If Crystal Dangerfield is still available at the 11 spot, then Seattle should take her. A small but light footed point guard with a high scoring ability, Dangerfield is an efficient and capable player.

This season, the 5’5 guard averaged 14.8 points, 3.4 rebounds and 4.1 assists per game for the Huskies. She’s also one her way to becoming a pretty good three-point shooter, shooting 41.6% this season. Defensively, however, she could be a target with her small frame.

Dangerfield could be the perfect eventual replacement for Sue Bird. Seattle does not need a player that can start right now, and Dangerfield can learn from Bird and Jordin Canada while providing a spark off the bench.

12. Washington Mystics — Mikiah Herbert Harrigan (F, South Carolina)

Coach Mike Thibault has a history of drafting overseas players who fly under the radar — Emma Meesseman, anyone? The Mystics also don’t really need someone who is ready to start immediately — they already have a championship caliber team minus Kristi Toliver.

That being said, I think that the Mystics might take Mikiah Herbert Harrigan. The 6’2 forward averaged 12.9 points, 5.6 rebounds and 1.4 assists this season for the best team in the country while shooting 50.6% from the field. She’s becoming a stronger three-point shooter and the Mystics can develop her for the future.

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A Streaming Guide To Michael Scott’s Most Significant Loves On ‘The Office’

Michael Scott wasn’t misunderstood. He really was a complete jerk in the early going of The Office, but the writers found a way to make him more relatable and even sympathetic by painting him as someone who was perpetually in search of love and constantly getting in his own way. We love Michael’s thorny path to a happy ending, so we wanted to look back at some of the most memorable episodes along the way while also debating the two most prominent loves of Michael’s life: Jan and Holly.

Which match was a better fit? It may not be as clear cut an answer as you assume.

The Deposition Season 4, Episode 12

When Jan’s wrongful termination lawsuit against Dunder Mifflin got nasty, Michael was called in to testify on her behalf where he tested the stenographer’s understanding of a good “That’s What She Said” joke and had his diary read aloud.

Jason Tabrys: There were several signs that Jan was toxic for Michael but this might have been the biggest alarm, completely and totally violating his sanctuary of thought to inch ahead in a legal battle that had the bonus of putting him in a very difficult position with his job.

Jessica Toomer: The truth is very complicated Jason. Jan was simply making sure that Michael remembered their relationship milestones correctly. She was clear with him from the beginning about their romantic status but with a man like Michael, she had to drill it into his head before he risked her million-dollar lawsuit. What woman hasn’t had to manage their doofus boyfriend every now and then? Also, what grown man keeps a diary? She did him a favor by shaming him in that legal battle.

Jason: Michael definitely needed to be managed but isn’t there a difference between that and being used? I feel like you believe Jan took the scorched earth approach under the auspices that a win would change both of their lives but isn’t it more likely that she would have blown her legal winnings on a pop-up candle shop and left Michael to eat his dollar menu dinner by himself?

Jessica: Candles are the fastest-growing product in the scent-aroma market. She made a calculated business decision with those winnings, sir. But yes, the way Jan manipulated Michael felt a little icky though I’d argue that Michael often revealed deeply personal information to their shared corporate overlords before this boardroom debacle. Is there really a difference between Michael sending photos of them in the Bahamas to the entire warehouse and this?

Jason: I mean, his act was sort of accidental but not really because it was born from him trying to conquest brag. These are both terrible people, at least in this stage of their existence.

Dinner Party Season 4, Episode 13

Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf feels are activated as we watch the destruction of Michael and Jan’s already tentative hold on domestic bliss during a dinner party from hell.

Jessica: These were two people who were clearly not ready to cohabitate, especially in such a poorly-carpeted condo, but Jan got the short end of the stick here. There are hints as to what this place looked like before and I can only imagine the amount of mothering a man like Michael needs. When you crash into your glass patio door because it’s been cleaned for the first time in forever, you were probably living in filth.

Jason: I mean, none of this is untrue but the path to a fruitful cohabitation is compromise and respect and it doesn’t feel like that was the profile of their relationship. To be real, this was a fling that married a desperate need to feel loved (Michael) with a penchant for self-destructive tendencies (Jan) and then it had to level jump because Jan got too close to the fire, lost her job, and had no other option. Of course, it blew up, the ingredients were all wrong, but at the same time, it’s easy to see why they struggled to realize that when the situation masqueraded as a stable one until just a little pressure was applied.

Jessica: That’s fair. Neither seemed capable of giving the other the emotional support they needed. My only gripe is that this episode, as hilarious as it was, positioned Jan as the bad guy in the pairing — a trend that would continue for the rest of her time on the show. Up until then, the deposition debate aside, it felt like Jan, while high-strung and given to erratic mood swings, was also a level-headed executive who couldn’t believe she’d found herself attracted to someone like Michael Scott. Once they got together, there was a character shift that targeted her worst flaws.

Baby Shower Season 5, Episode 4

Jan surprised Michael by arriving at the in-office baby shower he threw her with a fully-birthed human butterball. Discovering that Michael had no emotional connection to the child pushed him to finally take the next step in his relationship with Holly.

Jason: It’s hard to argue that Jan wasn’t drawn as a worse person than Michael. Which is particularly clear when recalling this episode. Here, Jan reveals that she kept him at a distance from the birth of her child (though, why he was involved at all is still a question and an example of the writers trying to still tap into Melora Hardin’s specific magic after probably burning through the character). This is awful, but what’s worse is that she then tries to put Michael’s heart in a box, preserving him as an option by forbidding him from dating Holly, who he’s clearly connecting with on a higher level than he did with Jan.

Jessica: And by connecting you mean insulting her in front of the entire office to appease his ex-girlfriend and telling her she smelled “like old tomatoes?” Here’s the thing: Jan didn’t owe Michael anything when it came to that baby. She was kind enough to bring Astrid by, hang out with some ex-employees, and let Michael get some one-on-one time because she knew it meant something to him. (She may have also wanted that nap.) Michael is the one who assumed he needed to troll Holly publicly to make Jan happy, and he willingly did so. What’s worse, Holly let him.

Jason: And by “hang out with some ex-employees” you mean hold them hostage while feeding her ego. As for the theatrics between Michael and Holly, it’s a bit much and broad (as the show often was to a less endearing effect in later seasons), but where you see weakness in Holly’s willingness to be a pin cushion to help Michael maintain a connection to Astrid, because of how much the kid (inexplicably) meant to him, I see consideration and the starting embers of love. Aw, in other words.

Sex Ed Season 7, Episode 4

Prompted by the eruption of a cold sore on his face, Michael goes on a journey of romantic rediscovery, viewing some of his past flings through less than rose-colored glasses thanks to a series of deeply unsatisfying encounters with his deeply unsatisfied (and amply annoyed) ex-girlfriends.

Jessica: You’re too soft Jason. I worry about your naivete when it comes to office romances. Alas, things kind of nose-dive for Michael in that particular department after Holly leaves for Nashua. this episode really highlights Michael’s own failings when it comes to love. He’s so eager to settle down that he often settles for the wrong women, and pushes his better matches away with his alarmingly quick ability to fall madly in love with complete strangers — i.e. Holly. I don’t know if this episode really championed one relationship over the other so much as it proved Michael Scott needs to grow up a bit and figure out what he really wants in a life partner.

Jason: Going to ignore the character assassination attempt atop your answer. This is a middling episode for me but, as you point out, it’s still so important in establishing the final run for the character as he gains a measure of self-reflection. I guess the question is, while realizing that Jan, Pam’s mom, and the Caroline In The City lady weren’t a collection of great lost loves was vital, is the reignited focus on trying to make things work with Holly earned? I think it is, but I know you feel differently even though I don’t know why you are the way you are.

Garage Sale Season 7, Episode 19

Michael spent this episode brainstorming ways to propose to Holly, his HR rep. Setting himself on fire, chucking corpses off a building, they all made the list. But in the end, Michael kept it simple – sort of.

Jessica: This cold dead heart does not stir in the slightest at the thought of Holly and Michael rekindling their romance, and yet, that’s exactly what the show gave us in season seven. With “Garage Sale” we got a peek at this couple’s endgame and it felt bizarrely rushed. Having Michael abruptly propose to Holly and then announce he’s moving with her to Colorado gave me a bit of whiplash. It’s lovely that Michael would make that kind of sacrifice for her, but after their first break-up, when Holly felt like a seven-hour drive (3.5 hours if they’d agreed to meet halfway) was too much work, did she deserve that sacrifice?

Jason: It’s not the most forward-thinking response but I don’t know that I care. We never had the chance to really get to know Holly. She was nice enough and dorky enough to seem like a fit for Michael but the point was that the writers got to give Michael the reward he was looking for: someone who loves him for him. Looking at it through that lens makes it easier to say that Holly was the ideal partner for Michael even if she didn’t push him to be a better person, just a more satisfied one.

Jessica: I think there’s a balance to be struck between what Holly offered and what Jan brought to Michael. Holly was the easier choice, someone who didn’t ask Michael to examine his less-appealing traits or behaviors too much. It wasn’t just that she got his inappropriate sense of humor, she encouraged and fed into her worst impulses. (Personally, I’ll never forgive either of them for that PDA episode.) I think Jan, while combative and certainly sorting through her own issues, represented a chance for Michael to maybe improve himself. She curbed his childish antics a bit and had things lasted, maybe Michael would’ve become more assertive, more in-tune with what he wanted in that relationship. Jan was a strong woman but a strong woman can help build a stronger man. Holly will never do that for Michael. Plus, she didn’t appreciate Threat Level Midnight. Why are we even arguing this Jason?

Jason: There really is no coming back from that Threat Level Midnight atom bomb. But I will say that I agree, in real life, about the importance of a partner pushing us to be better. I live that, but in addition to nudging me toward being more upright and adult-like, I’m also allowed to be me. It’s about being your best self for and because of that partner, not the version that they want you to be. It just doesn’t work. And so, as you said, Michael’s perfect partner is probably someone who is a mix between Holly and Jan. I think the answer is clear: Michael’s perfect match really was the chair model.

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Win Butler Says Work On Arcade Fire’s Next Album Has ‘Intensified’ During The Pandemic

The last time the world heard from Arcade Fire was with 2017’s Everything Now. Over the weekend, though, Win Butler shared a handwritten letter, in which he revealed he and the band have been writing and recording new material.

In his note — which was spread across multiple posts, one for each sheet of paper — Butler says “the writing has intensified” during the pandemic:

“Regine and I have been writing for the last couple of years, and the band was a few months into recording new material when COVID-19 hit…We had been exploring a lot of lyrical and musical themes that feel almost eerily related to what is happening now (we actually have a song called Age of Anxiety written a year ago for Christ’s sake – ha ha ). Needless to say, the writing has intensified, and the work is flowing out… It is challenging as ever, and with just as much purpose.”

He went on to say, however, that their next album won’t be out any time soon, and that he doesn’t see himself performing any livestream concerts either:

“For my part, I’m pouring my heart, soul and all of my precious time into the music and recording. (Not closing the door on doing some online performances, but it feels like many artists have that covered;) But talk to me in August when we are all climbing the walls…consider that a song request Radiohead) 
When you listen to the music that’s coming (…eventually…not soon…if you don’t have patience by now, you definitely aren’t reading this), you will know what we were working on under quarantine.

”

Read Butler’s letter below.

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Jordan Peele Has Explained Why He ‘Wouldn’t Be Any Good’ At Directing ‘Candyman’

On the day Universal Pictures pushed back Candyman from a summer movie to an early-Halloween movie, Variety reported the news with the following headline, “Jordan Peele’s Candyman Postponed Until September.” Nia DaCosta, who actually directed the dang film, retweeted the article, adding, “I have a confession: Jordan Peele’s Candyman is actually moving to September because Nia DaCosta just bought Skyrim.” The joke being, Candyman isn’t a Jordan Peele movie; it’s a Nia DaCosta movie. (Don’t worry, I only said you-know-what four times in that paragraph. Still got one to go.)

DaCosta might not be as well known as Peele — although you should check out her directorial debut, Little Woods, with Tessa Thompson — but in an interview with Empire, the Us filmmaker explained why she was the perfect person for the gig.

“I was working on Us when this would have happened,” Peele said. “But quite honestly, Nia is better to shoot this than I am. I’m way too obsessed with the original tales in my head. I probably wouldn’t be any good. But Nia has a steady manner about her, which you don’t see a lot in the horror space. She’s refined, elegant, every shot is beautiful. It’s a beautiful, beautiful movie. I’m so glad I didn’t mess it up.” In deference to the 1992 film, Peele and DaCosta both also wanted to tell “a black story about black people,” as she put it. “It was very important for all of us to have our main character be black, and for this experience to be through the black lens. Let’s make sure we change the lens now.”

Candyman (oh no!) opens on September 25.

(Via Empire)

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UPROXX 20: Chris D’Elia Fondly Reflects On A Memorable Meal He Had With Tom Arnold At A Houston Shopping Mall

Chris D’Elia is an actor, host of the Congratulations podcast, and a stand-up comic with three one-hour Netflix specials (and an episode of the streaming giant’s comedy series, Comedians Of The World) under his belt. His latest, No Pain, is available to stream now. In the special, D’Elia jumps from talking about growling at babies at the mall to airdrop pranks, bad X-Men mutants, and revelations about sex-crazed dolphins and their lack of boundaries.

D’Elia was nice enough to answer a few questions for us as a part of the ongoing Uproxx 20 series, recalling an all-timer meal in a mall with Tom Arnold, listening to Tupac through the tears, and letting it be known that anything is on the menu if Nic Cage stops by for dinner.

1. You walk into a bar. What do you order from the bartender?

I don’t drink, so club soda. The bubbles are my alcohol.

2. Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter and/or Instagram?

Either Brendon Walsh (@brendonwalsh) or Coffee Dad (@coffee_dad).

3. What’s currently waiting for you on your DVR or in your streaming queue?

Any thriller that ever comes out goes into my queue. I have The Platform in there… and the very thrilling NO PAIN, which is my comedy special.

4. It’s your last meal — what are you going out with?

My dad’s pasta, no doubt.

5. What websites do you visit on a regular basis?

What’s a website? I use Twitter and Instagram.

6. What’s the most frequently played song on your mobile device?

I don’t really listen to music, it makes me cry and I don’t wanna do that. Tupac though.

7. If you could go back and give your 18-year-old self one piece of advice what would it be?

Don’t worry, it’ll work out.

8. What’s the last thing you Googled?

Uproxx

9. Dogs or cats?

Dogs. Come on. Cats? Lol get outta here.

10. Best concert of your life was…?

Johnny Cash was my first. Tough to beat for a first concert. My brother was 5 and screamed “Not another song about GOD.”

11. What book are you most likely to give as a gift?

Catcher in the Rye.

12. What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

My mom and dad raised me. That was nice as shit.

13. South Park or Family Guy?

That’s REALLY tough because they are the two best. South Park is way smarter and impressive. But to me, Family Guy is straight up the funniest. So… Family Guy!

14. You have an entire day to do whatever you want. What would you do?

Coffee, hang with friends and family, do a stand-up show, then hit the diner.

15. What movie can you not resist watching if it’s on?

Oh, that’s easy. Swingers.

16. The sports team or teams you’re most passionate about?

Fuck sports. The Mets though. For my dad and brother.

17. Where did you eat the best meal of your life?

It may have been in Houston at some mall. There was a really nice Chinese food place that Tom Arnold, of all people, took me to. The food was unreal. No clue what it was called. Whitney Cummings was there. Ask her.

18. The last movie you saw in a theater?

It’s been so long. I watch stuff at home. Oh wait, it was Parasite. Loved it.

19. Who was your first celebrity crush?

Heather Graham, maybe.

20. What would you cook if Nic Cage were coming to your house for dinner?

Man, listen here. I’d cook my fuckin dogs if Nic Cage wanted to come over. He can have a fried American bald eagle for all I care. I love Nic Cage. Eat up, Nic.

PREVIOUSLY: Hannah Reid Rubinek

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Kid Cudi Returns With ‘Leader Of The Delinquents,’ Which Is Actually Almost A Decade Old

The last proper solo Kid Cudi album was 2016’s Passion, Pain & Demon Slayin’, but fans haven’t been starved for new music since then. He and Kanye West linked up for their self-titled Kids See Ghosts record in 2018, the same year Cudi released his latest solo track, the Rampage soundtrack cut “The Rage.” Over the weekend, he hopped on Instagram Live and teased a song called “Leader Of The Delinquents,” which has now been shared in full.

He begins the first verse, “Hello friends, Cudder again / Gotta smack ’em with some sh*t before the world ends / Same old denims, worn for days / I been home makin’ jams and many wonderful waves.”

The lyric about the world ending and staying at home might make it seem like the song was written recently during the coronavirus pandemic, but this track (and those words) actually started its life many years ago. Fan-shot concert footage from 2012 shows Cudi performing an early version of the first verse and the song’s chorus, and since then, the track has undergone only minor lyrical changes. Cudi also tweeted some words from the song that year:

The good news is that there is apparently more to come from Cudi soon: He said during the aforementioned livestream, “A lot of exciting things coming up soon… in the next couple weeks, actually. So… stay tuned. A lot of awesome sh*t.”

Listen to “Leader Of The Delinquents” above.

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A Police Chief Allegedly Said A Deputy Died Of The Coronavirus Because He Was Gay


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