Unemployment claims in the US have soared as the coronavirus shuts down large parts of the global economy. Here are some charts we’ll continue to update.

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Jessie Reyez recently released her debut full-length album Before Love Came To Kill Us nearly five years after her breakout single “Figures.” But Reyez had more up her sleeve: Just a few days after the album’s debut, Reyez surprise-released a deluxe version of the record with three new tracks. The revamped album features verses from A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie, Rico Nasty, and more.

In a statement, Reyez addressed how she felt uneasy releasing an album during a global pandemic: “It messed me up because I was like ‘I don’t want to seem insensitive,’” she said. “I’ve grown up thinking about death as something that could easily happen tomorrow. But I know that for everybody else, there’s a lot of fear right now. I’m conflicted. But I’ve decided I’m putting it out because indecision never did anything for nobody.”

Listen to “Ankles” with Rico Nasty and Melii above. Below, check out the Before Love Came To Kill Us (Deluxe Edition) album art and tracklist.

1. “Do You Love Her”
2. “Deaf (Who Are You)”
3. “Intruders”
4. “Coffin” Feat. Eminem
5. “Ankles”
6. “Imported” Feat. 6lack
7. “La Memoria”
8. “Same Side”
9. “Roof”
10. “Dope”
11. “Kill Us”
12. “Love In The Dark”
13. “I Do”
14. “Figures”
15. “Far Away II” Feat. A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie & JID
16. “Ankles” Feat. Rico Nasty & Melii
17. “Worth Saving”

Before Love Came To Kill Us (Deluxe Edition) is out now via Island Records. Get it here.

Some of the artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

If Post Malone is known for two things, it’s for his love of beer pong and face tattoos. Well, also his music. The rapper released his third album Hollywood’s Bleeding last year as a follow-up to the 2018 effort Beerbongs & Bentleys. The singer showed his love for beer pong on an episode of The Tonight Show where he challenged Jimmy Fallon to a friendly game. But Fallon isn’t the only celebrity who has competed in beer pong with the rapper: Green Day’s Billie Joe Armstrong recently revealed his first-ever game of beer pong was played with Post Malone.

On Wednesday night, Posty debuted a virtual beer pong tournament on Adult Swim. The rapper’s manager, Adam DeGross, went head-to-head with Malone during the tournament. The manager shared a clip of the game to his Instagram page. “Post and I are hosting Adult Swim (Cartoon Network) all night,” he wrote in the caption.

The post drew the attention of Green Day vocalist Billie Joe Armstrong. Armstrong recalled the first time he ever played the drinking game, saying his inaugural round was with the beer pong master himself: “I played my first game of beer pong with @postmalone,” he wrote succinctly in a comment.

Check out the clip of Posty playing beer pong on Adult Swim above.

Hollywood’s Bleeding is out now via Republic. Get it here.

Looks like that plan to get fit during quarantine is over because Girl Scout Cookies are going digital. The days of little girls dressed in brown sashes knocking on your door and trying to push cookies on you are over. Which is certainly sad, but is also kind of a blessing in disguise for us Thin Mint and Samoa-heads who have gotten side-eye as we attempted to buy “too many boxes” of girl scout cookies at one time.

“No Ashley G and Carol S, maybe you’re eating too many cookies for a grown man!”

Now all of us can buy as many Samoas as we want totally judgment-free, while still supporting our local community of scouts. This is huge, because in the past if you didn’t have a girl scout connect you either had to bite the bullet and accept you weren’t going to get any cookies or jump in your car and drive around looking for kids selling sweets. Which def isn’t the right play right now. For anybody. On multiple levels.

To get some cookies, simply visit the Girl Scouts website, type in your zip code, and order cookies from the nearest Girl Scouts location. But move fast, just because the cookie sales have gone digital doesn’t mean they’ll be available all year. Some scout locations will only be selling cookies for ten more days, which is about 355 days too short.

No one knows when our current situation will come to an end — and experts have emphasized that the timeline will be set not by the government, but by the virus — but at some point, the economy has to reopen. As Dr. Anthony Fauci has stated, there is a tipping point on lockdown measures in the United States.

Hollywood studios probably do not know any better than anyone else when moviegoers will be able to return to normal, but we are now seeing where they are placing their bets. AMC theaters are hoping to re-open by mid-June, while studios are starting to reschedule some of their tentpoles for late summer in anticipation of a return to normal, or at least normal enough to return to movie theaters.

Paramount Studios for its part is gambling that families will be ready to get out of their homes and return to theaters by July 31st, 2020, which is when the studio has rescheduled The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge on the Run. The studio, however, is being more conservative with Tom Cruise’s Top Gun: Maverick, which originally had a June release date. It’s being pushed all the way to December 23rd, knocking out an untitled Chris Pratt film, which has yet to reschedule its date.

However, I really like what Paramount is doing with A Quiet Place Part 2 by scheduling it for Labor Day weekend on September 4th. Typically, Labor Day is one of the slowest weekends of the year at the box office, but Paramount is betting that audiences will be itching to get into theaters that weekend ahead of what we all hope will be a return to school for students.

It’s worth noting that a couple of studios have not yet abandoned their earlier summer dates. Disney’s Soul is still on the docket for June 19th, while Ryan Reynolds’ still has a the 4th of July premiere date set for Free Guy. Hopefully, we will all feel free enough to get back into theaters by Independence Day. The Wonder Woman sequel, meanwhile, has been reset from June to. August 14th, as Warner Brothers also anticipates an all-clear by August.

(Via Hollywood Reporter)

The first episode of Season 35 of The Challenge premiered on Wednesday night. “Total Madness” opened by going straight into a pretty hellacious opening challenge: All 28 men and women had to reel in barrels of “medical supplies” on a battlefield with puzzles and math equations to solve between each station, and if they didn’t go fast enough, T.J. Lavin would eliminate them by driving a literal tank over their barrel.

It was clearly a tone-setting challenge, asserting that this season is going to be intense from the jump and push the players throughout. The winners of the first challenge weren’t total surprises, as it was a major benefit to be one of the most physically strong players, and Rogan and Jenny took home the first wins of the season, while Fessy — the gigantic rookie from Big Brother and American Ninja Warrior — and Dee finished second. After the win, we learned how eliminations would be determined, as the tribunal returns this season but so does the house vote. The house gets together to vote one player directly into elimination, where they face one of three tribunal selections.

The house this year is a doomsday bunker — but, like, a nice one with a pool table and CrossFit gym and giant kitchen and above ground pool — hence the “Total Madness” subtitle for the season. The players claim their beds and begin their typical nightly shenanigans, which, 40 minutes into episode 1, leads to Nany hooking up with rookie Asaf. House deliberation ends with Asaf being voted in — but not without him calling out Wes, who gets way madder than he should about a throwaway vote — and the tribunal chooses Wes, Jay, and Kyle as the three to meet with.

As happens most every season, it ends up being all-rookie showdown in the first elimination, with Jay getting all three tribunal votes. He gets a win, outlasting Asaf in a pretty cool challenge that forced the two to hang from steel bars dangling in the air from a crane while kicking a pane of plexiglass at each other to try and force them to drop. Jay, who is a mountain climber, realizes from the jump the smartest thing to do was just hang there and let Asaf tire himself out flailing at the glass. Asaf fell twice, ending in a loss, and Jay picked up the win, which is when T.J. announced the twist that was in the preview: to make the Final, you have to win an elimination this season.

Now, let’s get to our stock watch for Episode 1.

Stock Up

Twists

It wasn’t a secret to anyone that saw a preview, but the stipulation that you must win an elimination to make the final is one of the best tweaks to the format they’ve ever done on the show. It is going to make for far more interesting deliberations as alliances will now have to posture to not just throw enemies into elimination, but also get their players in against favorable matchups.

The other twist this episode was the revelation that Wes and Bananas have decided to work together, at least at the beginning, dubbing themselves “Team You’re All F*cked.” I prefer Wesnanas, but to each their own. The two longtime rivals shared a hug in front of the house that raised eyebrows and then shared a confessional to announce their new alliance.

Whatever strategy they hatched before the season will have to be tweaked now that the elimination stipulation is a factor, but it’ll be very fun to see them working together for once to manipulate everything in their combined favor.

Rookies

Aside from Asaf, it was a very good start for rookies. Jay not only won the first elimination, but he became the first person in Challenge history to make a coherent argument for why he shouldn’t get sent in by the tribunal — it didn’t work, but kudos for the effort. Fessy looks the part of a monster after one challenge and has terrified some of the vets enough to not want to anger him, thus not getting a single vote in house deliberation. Swaggy C avoids picking up any votes because somehow every person in the house is already terrified of his fiancee, Bayleigh, a fellow rookie. So, this doesn’t seem like a season where the rookies are going to fall by the wayside early.

Jenny

Jenny was expected to be a beast last year and made it to the second-to-last elimination as a rookie, and to open her sophomore campaign, she dominated the first challenge. She notes she did flashcards to get better at math before the season, so it’s nice to see at least one person recognizing their weakness and preparing for the mental side of the show for once. It paid off and she has to be considered among the favorites among the women.

Rogan

Rogan’s win in a very physical first challenge was impressive and after being one of those that “skated by” in the words of T.J. to a win last year without even seeing an elimination, he could use to assert himself more this season and prove that wasn’t a fluke. This was a good start, but that target might grow having just won a season as part of Team U.K. and now winning the first challenge.

Above Ground Pools

There has never been a group of adults more excited about an above ground pool than the Challenge participants this year. This is going to do wonders for above ground pool PR, an industry that’s long been the mockery of the aquatic world.

Stock Down

Math

The most lopsided rivalry in Challenge history is Math vs. Contestants. Watching them try to do simple equations is painful to watch, and this episode is no different. Five of the women got their barrels run over by T.J.’s tank because they were stuck on the math problem, and the men didn’t fare a whole lot better. Everyone should follow Jenny’s lead and do the nightly flashcards.

Nany’s Love Interest

First, shouts to Nany for knowing what she wanted and going and getting it. She says in the very first confessional before the men’s challenge even starts that she digs Asaf and by that night she’s making out with him. The bad news, the young man takes the first L and now she’s stuck with an empty bed and no Israeli playboy to cuddle with.

Wes Playing Possum

Wes insisted he was going to lay low and “play possum” this year and then makes a huge scene when Asaf decides to call him out randomly and burn a vote at his expense. Playing possum =/= screaming at someone in the very first deliberation for a throwaway vote. Lock it up, man.

Normal Challenge Strategy

Speaking of strategy, anyone who had a plan coming into this season is now going to have to recalibrate it on the fly. Folks like Ashley, whose main strategy is getting by without ruffling feathers and, generally, being friends with the rest are going to now have to figure out when to get themselves into an elimination and how to get their preferred opponent voted in as well. My guess is the biggest pivot point is going to be using alliances to get tribunals to send in the person they want to face (or send them in if the house votes in an opponent their confident in beating).

Spring is here! Sure, it doesn’t feel like it with us spending every damn day of our lives indoors for the last few weeks (and the foreseeable future), but the warming weather is practically begging us to go outside. We spent the first week of quarantine strictly staying inside and avoiding public gatherings like the grocery store at all costs, but by the end of last week? We were Zooming with our enemies, just dying for a little connection.

The bad news — if you don’t follow the news, in which case we envy you — is that life is going to be like this for a while. And while we don’t have spring parties to look forward to or music festivals to flash our fists at, we still have the ability to go on walks in the neighborhood in fly kicks. Treat your daily walk like you’re navigating a club line and stay stylin’ with all the best footwear and apparel fits dropping this week.

Adidas UltraBOOST DNA

If you love the general shape, comfort, and design features of the UltraBOOST but don’t need the runner-focused tech, the DNA is for you. Swapping out the lightweight mesh upper for a thick patent-leather make-up, the UltraBOOST DNA is like an UltraBOOST crossed with the Adidas Superstar, giving you an old-meets-new design aesthetic that’ll appeal to UltraBOOST fans and fashion over function people alike.

The leather upper makeup drops in both a white and black colorway.

The Adidas UltraBOOST DNA is out now for a retail price of $200. Pick up a pair through the Adidas online store.

Adidas 4D Run 1.0

If on the other hand, you’re digging the white and black Superstar-esque UltraBOOSTS but are still looking for a performance-based sneaker for your running routine, consider grabbing the 4D Runners. The sneakers feature elegant gold-foil branding and a lightweight future-leaning synthetic semi-translucent upper atop the 4D’s signature textured midsole. The translucent upper is much more apparent on the black pair, giving the sneaker an overall muted look that isn’t quite as intense as it’s UltraBOOST counterpart — something to consider if you’re all-in on black colorways.

The Adidas 4D Run 1.0 is set to drop on April 2nd for a retail price of $220. Pick up a pair at the Adidas online store.

Casablanca x New Balance 327

Our collective quarantine has made it so we’re not really appreciating spring to its fullest extent. It’s hard to embrace a season that’s all about going outside when, you know, we can’t go outside. So remind yourself of the season by slipping on a pair of these New Balance 327s made in collaboration with Casablanca. The two colorways — a green/orange combo and a green-on-green — are sure to be a visual reminder of what the outside world is like, and the elegant design is sure to stay in pristine quality until the summer when you’ll finally be able to rock them in public.

The Casablanca x New Balance 327 is set to drop on April 4th for a yet-to-be-announced price. Pick up a pair through New Balance.

Stüssy x Nike Air Zoom Spiridon Caged 2

If you missed out on the Stüssy-exclusive Spiridon Caged 2 drop last week, you’ll have a second chance to pick up a pair through Nike SNKRS, which probably won’t inspire too much confidence given how often the app fails people. Dropping in either a “Pure Platinum” or Fossil” colorway, this special collaboration between Stüssy and Nike is just dripping with tossed-off no-fuss Dad-vibes, but still packing some forward-thinking tech for support. Featuring a caged Zoom Air unit in the heel, for a responsive cushioning, and a full-length foam midsole that is lightweight, flexible, and durable for added traction defense.

Considering all we can do these days is go for a walk, you might as well look fly while you’re doing it.

The collaborative Stüssy Nike Air Zoom Spiridon Caged 2 Fossil and Pure Platinum are set to drop on April 3rd for a retail price of $160. Pick up a pair through the Nike SNKRS app.

Air Jordan 1 Retro High OG Court Purple

Get on your King sh*t with this royal colorway of the Air Jordan 1 Retro High OG. A classic sneaker in a classic colorway, While a royal purple was never Jordan’s thing, the sneakers are a reminder of who the true king of the court is and always will be. Subtle black accents on the collar, laces, and swoosh bring the whole thing together for a dope colorway of one of the best sneaker silhouettes in the game.

The Air Jordan 1 Retro High OG Court Purple is set to drop on April 4th for a retail price of $170. Pick up a pair through Nike SNKRS on April 11th.

Supreme Lamborghini/ Spring 2020 Collection

Supreme is once again teaming up with Lamborghini for a new spring-color focused collection that implements Lamborghini’s iconic raging bull logo. The seven-piece collection features jerseys, short-sleeve t-shirts, branded skateboards and beanies, mechanic coveralls (because Supreme always has to be right on the nose) as well as hooded worker’s jackets.

Admittedly, I’m always a little torn when it comes to luxury car company clothing collabs — is this meant only for people who drive Lambos? What if you’re just a Lambo fan? Is it corny to like the iconography and design aesthetic of something you can’t afford?

But also… who cares? Life is too short to get hung up on stuff like that. If you dig it, pick it up!

If you’re not down for the Lamborghini collaboration, Supreme is also launching it’s week 6 drop, which features early spring essentials like hooded sweatshirts, sweatpants, corduroy jackets, and cargo pants.

The Supreme Lamborghini/ Spring 2020 collection will be accessible exclusively online and drops on April 2nd at 11 am EST. Due to the coronavirus lockdowns, Supreme is offering free shipping on all orders over $150.

Palace x EVISU Spring Collection

For the last couple of weeks we’ve been covering Palace’s near-endless clip of spring drops, and now they’re linking up with EVISU for a spring collection that pays homage to the London club scene of the late ’90s and early ’00s. That look translates to lots of heavy denim, in the form of a pocket-heavy jacket, jeans, and of course the London club staple — the bucket hat. For the denim-averse, the collection also consists of dual-branded pullovers, crewnecks, and t-shirts, which are on a more subtle tip.

The Palace x EVISU Spring collection is set to drop on April 3 online at 8 am PST. Shop the looks at the Palace or EVISU webstore.

Mark Gonzales x Adidas Shmoofoil

Skate legend Mark Gonzales is dropping his “Shmoofoil” graffiti-inspired apparel line through Adidas and the result is one of the most fun apparel collections out of the three-stripes in some time. Highlights of the collection include the Shmoofoil pattern hoodie and matching sweatpants, and the spring-appropriate mint hoodie. The complete collection is rounded out by t-shirts, shorts, and track jackets for a skate-friendly line of spring essentials.

The Mark Gonzalez x Adidas Shmoofoil collection is set to drop today and is available at the Adidas webstore.

Thundercat’s new album, It Is What It Is, releases this Friday, April 3 and today, ‘Cat shared the dreamy new single “Innerstellar Love” to give fans a taste of what’s to come. The jazz-centered production is built over a stuttering drum roll with a groovy bass line and mellow brass accentuating Thundercat’s ode to finding love and accepting mortality. He’s joined on the song by longtime collaborators Kamasi Washington (on sax, as usual), Flying Lotus, and his own brother, percussionist Ronald Bruner Jr.

“Innerstellar Love” follows “Black Qualls,” “Dragonball Durag” and “Fair Chance” as promotional singles, with “Dragonball Durag” getting a hilarious video featuring comedians Quinta Brunson and Zack Fox, as well as pop trio Haim. Thundercat also brought FLyLo, Steven Lacy, and Steve Arrington to Jimmy Kimmel Live! to perform “Black Qualls” from the upcoming album, which quickly evolved into a rendition of “What’s The Use?” from Mac Miller’s final album Swimming.

Thundercat was also recently featured in Zack Fox’s hilarious parody of Gal Gadot’s celebrity “Imagine” cover, which found Fox, Thundercat, Guapdad 4000, Eric Andre, and more rapping lines from Three 6 Mafia‘s 1999 song “Slob On My Knob.”

Listen to “Innerstellar Love” above.

It Is What It Is is out 4/03 on Brainfeeder. Pre-order it here.

Welcome back, NBA isolationist! As always it is the highlight of my week to be here with you, reporting on the high stakes world of NBA players stuck in their homes. There was a time when saying something like that would be at best depressing and at worst the deepest kind of self-own, but no more.

This week, as players (like us) settle into these routines for the foreseeable future — because they (also like us) are caring, responsible and community-minded people — some things became apparent. First, isolation can be lonely. Second, in days that can occasionally feel like drifting, establishing a routine helps. Pets, always a gift but especially now, help to mitigate both of these things and featured heavily in the lives of players this week.

Kyle Kuzma

Kuz got a puppy and sheesh is she cute. Loyal readers, meet Snoh! She looks kinda like a little husky pup but could also be a Pomsky, a poodle husky mix, of which Normal Powell is a double owner. Either way, she loves to snooze and also poop, Kuz confirmed, and probably smells so good and is so soft and falls asleep with her little puppy belly sticking up and god I’m glad you can’t hear the sounds I’m making right now.

Rating: Can’t wait until Snoh goes to town on Kuzma’s closet but she’s so cute he can’t stay mad and dresses her up in her own little matching outfit.

CJ McCollum

This emotional rollercoaster started at the end of last week’s NBA Self ISO Watch (NBA SIW). McCollum fostered a puppy and put out a call for help because the poor pup wasn’t drinking water and seemed hella stressed out. Mario Hezonja came to the rescue. He wisely advised his teammate to take it slow, because the dog was likely overwhelmed and needed some time. But it didn’t end there, because CJ was a part-time dog dad now, and he was invested.

While beautiful, it was a little heartbreaking, because McCollum was only fostering. He’d eventually have to give up the puppy and everything he acquired on Amazon for her while going down the rabbit hole.

Listen, I take this seriously, so I was going to do my due diligence no matter how much it stung. I’d scour McCollum’s social feeds until he said a sad goodbye, no matter how much it was going to hurt. But, because we all need some good news, something wonderful happened.

CJ adopted the dog! Her name is now Fiona, and he carries her outside to go to the bathroom. He’s cooking her meals, beef and rice, and also describes at length her bowel movements, which any pet owner can tell you comes with the freak territory. A very happy ending.

Rating: Isolation just got a whole lot cuter.

Kevin Love

Love’s Vizsla, a very spunky dog named Vestry, has been his near-constant companion for almost a year now. He and girlfriend Kate Bock got her as a puppy last summer, and took her on vacation to some glacial lakes in Northern British Columbia, Canada as soon as she was old enough to travel. Love has been honest about how tough the loneliness that comes along with self isolation is, and it’s heartening to see he’s got such a weighted, living heating pad disguised as a dog to help with that feeling.

Rating: Would love to talk to Kev about all the different smells the top of his dog’s head can have in a week. For example, mine cycles through popcorn, corn chips, fresh ocean, and gross garbage.

John Wall

John Wall dressed his depressed, but nevertheless up for it, best friend up in his clothes for a photoshoot.

Rating: They are both missing basketball, for different reasons.

Larry Nance Jr.

Larry has two dogs, Reggie and Ellie, and this is Reggie looking like an expressive human man dressed up like a dog.

Rating: You’ll remember that Reggie is also the one who intercepted Nance Jr.’s attempts to balance a roll of toilet paper like a soccer ball in the first NBA SIW, because Reggie hates trends that might upset people.

Enes Kanter

We knew that Kanter got a little kitten named Bere, but what we didn’t know was that it was a tiny wittle strawtegic geniwus!

Rating: Every kitten’s just a tiny demon you don’t know yet.

Alfonzo McKinnie

A familiar experience for any pet owner is getting your pet something you are really excited to have, something that is going to make them so happy and so comfortable and so well cared for, and then having them destroy that thing. Alfonzo McKinnie’s French Bulldog did just that. In the video, McKinnie tries to sternly admonish the dog for destroying the brand new bed it “just got four days ago,” but as soon as the dog stubbornly settles into its new nest of annihilation, he can’t stay mad.

Rating: If you love something, rip it to shreds and make a home of the poly-fill stuffing, I always say.

Jordan Bell

https://www.instagram.com/jbell/?hl=en

Bell hit the gym with his two dogs who were good spotters so long as they marked each rep with a lil kiss.

Rating: Bonus points for the husky heading out of frame pronto to probably go lie on a couch somewhere, good dog.

DeAndre Jordan

These aren’t traditional pets, maybe, but if you use your imagination like DeAndre did, well, I guess they’d be even more terrifying rendered to life and enhanced to twice the size.

Rating: Anyway it’s always good to give your imagination something to do instead of letting it create new and anxiety-ridden ways to think about the next few months.

Wayne Ellington

Wayne’s had a big week in paradise. First, he set up a Slip N Slide in his backyard, rigged that thing up with an extra long runway, and went slipping first so he could spin, mid-slide, to catch his son as he started his little slide. You can see in the background there’s a big and mini basketball hoop and a half court, plus various Tonka trucks I assume are used as obstacles for ball handling drills. A couple days later, Ellington went to whatever quadrant of his yard the pool is in and watched his bright green iguana slowly saunter along, just tickled by it.

Rating: Good news, all’s well in Wayne’s World.

JaVale McGee

The big guy’s really been missing his friends, like the rest of us, so one was nice enough to come by for a window dap.

Rating: It’s weird that the nicest thing you’ve seen all week can also be the most heartbreaking, but here we are!

Aaron Gordon

Isolation is doing really weird things to all of us; revealing long buried truths or making us come to honest revelations that speak to our very souls. For me, that’s been admitting I see myself more in Aaron Gordon than I ever could have, or allowed myself, to imagine. Fishing off the swamp dock at sunset wearing a mask but also, going topless? Sitting on my balcony and making someone take a paparazzi-style photo of me as I read my book with a psychedelic tie-dye towel on and my other knee with the melting peace sign tattoo poking out just so?

Rating: Embrace these times of self-awareness, of your third eye being opened and realizing it’s blocked by a terrycloth headband you’re wearing for no particular reason.

Paul Millsap

Oh god, he’s at it again, being the perfect candidate for NBA Self-Isolation Watch MVP (NBA SIW MVP). It seems critically unfair to call things this early, but when you’ve commandeered a child-sized car and are taking suggestions on where you should joyride it to, it gets tough to imagine how anyone dare compete.

Rating: Grand Theft ISO.

P.J. Tucker

Just when you think it’s impossible to fall any harder for P.J. Tucker, you get to picture a little P.J. Tucker, watching Space Jam, getting quote chills (!!) whenever the scene came around of Michael Jordan arriving at the cartoon gym to whip Taz, the Mr. Big and Tall chicken, the formal pig et al. into shape.

Rating: You also get to picture the current P.J. Tucker in a no doubt matching and luxurious sweatsuit, getting chills to the same scene. Lucky.

Carmelo Anthony and Jimmy Butler (and Mark Wahlberg?)

Melo hosted Butler for an episode of “What’s In Your Glass,” a show that, I’m very ashamed to report, has not won or even been nominated for an Emmy or an accolade of any kind. The two, after Butler insisted to Melo that they weren’t friends, admitted their suspicion of white wine before Butler, vulnerable, admitted he came around to it “on a trip to Bordeaux last summer.” They then did a “virtual cheers” and Butler said he’s been nothing but “drinking wine and working out.” You can watch the whole 50 minutes if you like, but you’ll never recover from those first five, promise.

Rating: Hey sommeliers, here’s a brain buster, what vintage pairs well with Melo’s heart piercing smile and Jimmy Butler’s beguiling eyes?!

D’Angelo Russell

These were different days and different modes of transportation but there is no doubt that D’Lo is not isolating like you or I and also not in Minnesota. This comes very close to my other area of expertise, NBA Summer Vacation Watch, but please, let’s get through the regular self-isolation season before we get to its well-earned postseason, thanks.

Rating: If, while on his nautical joyrides, Russell could get a big bullhorn out and shame people off of California’s crowded beaches, that would be some real NBA Cares-level of public service.

Giannis Antetokounmpo

Giannis pretending to be embarrassed his longtime partner, Mariah Riddlesprigger, got TikTok is going to be good when he’s for sure going to be the one making them do the Renegade over and over until they get it right.

Rating: Sorry if that dance reference is embarrassing and very old now.

Dion Waiters

I know I said Millsap had this, but Waiters is another contender for NBA SIW MVP. It could be that the guy is just very good at operating on wheels (roller skates indoors, now popping a wheelie), but I have a feeling that boredom is going to reveal his other hidden talents.

Rating: I hope the Lakers are thrilled. No, really, I do!

Tim Hardaway Jr.

The chill king of self iso returns with a new meditative exercise for us this week. All you need is a dock that goes out into aquamarine waters, a pair of wild and majestic manatees who have gently bumbled their way along into that water, and a regular garden hose. Then, just hose those guys down for a good five to ten minutes.

Rating: What if nature IS nurture?

Buddy Hield

Let me let you in on something about Buddy Hield: the guy isn’t capable of doing anything halfway. He is literally the only person who I could not chastise for running along the beach to work out during his summer vacation this past year, because he would run down to the water intermittently and frolic around. Likewise with this, setting up a regular half court in his driveway, it was not enough to throw up a hoop, he had to get somebody out there to paint the lines. You know before he let this guy touch paint to pavement he had him measuring.

Rating: If the next All-Star three-point contest is held remotely, with guys in their driveways, Hield’s getting a head start.

Jae Crowder

Crowder took a night swim.

Rating: Plenty of lighting, very safe.

Terrence Ross

T Ross took a day swim, or at least thought about it.

Rating: It’s ok to not feel too bad for T Ross right now.

Patty Mills

Patty’s still strumming away, but he’s doing this nice thing where he shreds a snippet of a song without singing, because he says his voice is no good (it is, Patty!) and asks his followers to name that tune and he posts their replies. It’s called Thrills With Mills. You got some real John Mayers in there, but for the most part, it’s pretty wholesome and good and shows how hungry just about everyone is for community right now.

Rating: But I’ve been saying, we gotta get the band back together.

Steven Adams

Speaking of John Mayers in the replies, here’s Steven Adams. Big Kiwi answered the siren song of Thrills With Mills with an acoustic rendition of a literal John Mayer song, regulation size guitar turned child’s toy in his hands.

Rating: If only we could get a glimpse of the wild man’s face!

Bryn Forbes

Forbes did a rousing rendition of “Chopsticks” and asked Patty Mills for a feature.

Rating: With a keyboard called BIGFUN you always know what you’re gonna get!

Myles Turner

Turner did another one of these puzzles for NASA candidates.

Rating: Does he do them first in pencil, do you think? Is that rude to ask?

Bojan Bogdanovic

It is very comforting to picture a 6’6″ basketball player standing in the lambent glow of his refrigerator, deliberating as quietly as possible is he going to take a little hunk of cheese, maybe a scoop of whatever pasta bake is in there as leftovers, maybe some juice, a yogurt? The very same way that you probably did last night.

Rating: Quarantine 15(lbs), baby!

Jaren Jackson Jr.

Here’s Jackson, just RIPPING a fit, with a tiny tartan bag that maybe represents the absence of basketball and the shoes he once carried, artfully geotagged with Wash Your Hands and a look that would make Wintour enter into quarantine but because she is so humiliated to ever declare herself adjacent to fashion again.

Rating: More backyard fashion shows as we get deeper into this, please.

Dennis Smith Jr.

I want to draw Steph Curry’s attention to Dennis Smith Jr., who has assisted in digging a hole at one end of a concrete court for what we can only assume is going to be a pole for a backboard for an eventual hoop. Curry got frustrated putting together a pre-made hoop in his home, so this really goes to show that there are two kinds of people in this world when it comes to tenacity and patience: Dennis Smith Jr. and the rest of us.

Rating: Like, there’s no Allen key in sight.

Malcolm Miller

Ha ha, yes totally, the only time I’ve done this is definitely now, on day whatever of government-mandated social distancing measures and not ever normally when I still had the gift of friendship, going out, human touch, higher learning, or emotional betterment.

Rating: What I’m saying is I did this all the time but to Miller’s point, it is a great option if you’re running low.

Mario Hezonja

Let’s go live to Hezonja still isolating at the Palace of Versailles, handling himself publicly in a way that will by no means backfire.

Rating: “You can be assured that I need no one’s guidance in anything concerning propriety. No harm will come to me.” — Marie Antoinette and Mario Hezonja, probably.

Paul Pierce

Jimmy Butler and Carmelo Anthony aren’t the only ones who can talk at length about wine, Paul Pierce is right there with them. The only difference is that Paul Pierce is alone in a jacuzzi, giving a thumbs up to his wine glass, not another soul in sight.

Rating: Is this a blatant dis to LeBron, who still can’t find someone to drink wine with him?

Rudy Gobert

Rudy’s out! It’s ok, he’s allowed out. Gobert just wrapped his quarantine and decided to celebrate by taking a hike to the highest vista, which is coincidentally what many of his teammates and players around the league probably wanted him to do immediately after he rubbed his paws over all those mics and inadvertently got the season suspended.

Rating: The air must truly smell sweet when you’ve earned it with global penance.

Josh Hart

Josh Hart asked a question that is telling of a towel baron.

Rating: Of course you reuse your towel, of course you do.

Lonnie Walker

Lonnie picked up some light reading.

Rating: Defensive strategy is one thing but invention of modern day military tactics is entirely another. Anyway, this explains a lot about the Spurs.

Zach LaVine

LaVine set up his snacking station.

Rating: Good to have about a thousand things of Big League Chew on deck when you’re settling in for a relaxing another entire day at home.

Mo Bamba

Bamba binge watched Tiger King, just like you.

Rating: But the look, folks, suits him?

Chris Bosh

Bosh did this on behalf of public safety, but he also flossed his way into a space-time vortex.

Rating: That’s not an editing feature, Chris Bosh’s body was made to floss that fast.

BONUS: OTHER TRENDS!

A big trend that emerged this week, after the toilet paper soccer ball thing died down and the pushup challenge continued into oblivion or else people’s arms snapped off so they could no longer @ anyone to challenge them, was this filter that made it look like you were in the middle of a truly bumpin’ party, but also above it? So crowdsurfing, but standing.

Jordan Clarkson did it first:

Trae Young and Rodney Hood soon followed suit:

Zac Efron should officially be allowed to now claim the status of “former teen idol” because, duh, that’s what happens when one portrays Ted Bundy. However, he’s still much farther behind in shedding that label than Titanic star Leonardo DiCaprio, who did his time on that beat before eventually graduating to Quentin Tarantino films and tussling with a bear on the frontier and such. The two actors are now friends, and they have been since the time they were first photographed together at a 2008 LA Lakers game. While appearing on First We Feast’s “Hot Ones” YouTube series, however, Efron revealed that they didn’t actually speak with each other until that point. Then the magic happened.

Breakfast magic, that is, which means the second-most enticing meal other than brunch. We can fight over that topic another time, but here’s how the star of Quibi’s upcoming Killing Zac Efron series relates that things went down during the game:

“We weren’t talking at that point, and I was just kinda gonna wait for him, and sure enough, he had his hat down low, and when the ball went to the other side, he was like, ‘Hey man, do you wanna go get breakfast tomorrow?’ And I was like, ‘Yeah, dude!’”

The rest is beautiful history. DiCaprio then invited him over and cooked breakfast, which turned into burnt waffles and un-burnt pancakes. Sounds delicious, actually. They also chatted about the paparazzi, and DiCaprio admitted that Efron’s was receiving a “little bit different” version of the paparazzi than he did. And then they looked at Leo’s monitors, and he said, “There’s never this many cars here, that’s insane, dude.” Then DiCaprio added, “Don’t worry about it man, you’re good.”

Interestingly enough, DiCaprio also recently appeared on Marc Maron’s WTF podcast, where revealed that he used to deal with a massive amount of paparazzi, but “not as much anymore.” He added, “I’ve been able to escape a lot more which is great, and walk around outside.” To that, his Once Upon A Time In Hollywood co-star, Brad Pitt, admitted to being “a little disgruntled with you now that I hear that.” Yep, PItt’s still tailed regularly. “I’m just like trash-mag fodder,” the Troy star declared. “Because of my disaster of a personal life probably.” Somehow, Leo’s off that kind of radar, so good for him.

(Via Hot Ones & Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast)