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The ‘Best Novel’ That Stephen King Never Wrote Would Have Been About A Horror Movie Icon

Who’s killed more people over the years: Stephen King or Jason Voorhees? It’s King (The Stand alone wiped out 99.4% of the world’s population), so let’s re-frame the question: who’s killed more horny teens, King or Voorhees? Now it’s a toss-up. The horror author has published over 60 novels and hundreds of short stories, but on Sunday night, he was preoccupied with the “best novel” he “never wrote.” It’s about Jason.

That would up both their body counts, horny teens or otherwise.

“The best novel idea I never wrote (and probably never will) is I JASON, the first-person narrative of Jason [Voorhees], and his hellish fate: killed over and over again at Camp Crystal Lake,” King tweeted to his 5.9 million followers. “What a hellish, existential fate!”

King continued, “Just thinking about the legal thicket one would have to go through to get permissions makes my head ache. And my heart, that too. But gosh, shouldn’t someone tell Jason’s side of the story? Blumhouse could do it as a movie.”

Happy Death Day meets Friday the 13th? Would watch.

King’s idea has the support of comedian Patton Oswalt, who offered his own horror novel suggestions. “Aaaaaaaand… I want this novel RIGHT NOW,” he tweeted. “Let’s do one of those Ace paperback ‘doubles.’ My half will be either LEATHERFACE: HOW TO MAKE AN AMERICAN QUILT or MICHAEL MYERS: BABYSITTERS, CLUBBED.” C’mon Patton, Pinhead should obviously be the one to teach how to make a quilt.

Alas, it’s unlikely King’s I, Jason will ever hit bookstores, as the rights to the Friday the 13th franchise have been stuck in a place scarier than actual Hell: legal hell.