A couple of weeks into 2022, and we’re already spiraling. I recently saw a meme that read “2022 is pronounced “2020 too,” but the cushy days of early Covid with its prepaid Visa cards and months off work are long gone. Now we’ve entered a savage phase at the intersection of late-stage capitalism and perpetual pandemic. The show must go on. Meaning, of course, at the expense of our physical and mental health.
While many still associate cannabis use with “laziness,” a deeper understanding of the plant along with an explosion in the types of cannabis products available has made this trope an antiquated one used solely by lames. Cannabis can actually be a great tool for getting shit done just as easily as it can be a method for calming you down.
Here are some uplifting, zest-inducing products to breathe some excitement into the apocalypse. Thriving in chaos is kind of our thing these days, anyways.
The combination of cannabis and caffeine has been clinically proven to f*cking rule. Unfortunately, California has laws that prohibit certain types of caffeine and THC from occupying the same product. Fortunately, there are workarounds that allow us to still get our kicks, or rather, Stix.
MyHi Stix is an actual godsend with an all-natural, energizing high similar to coffee but with more fun and fewer jitters. Each Stix contains five to ten-mg of nano-emulsified THC (meaning it hits you right away), 30mg of green coffee bean extract (about ⅓ a cup of coffee worth of caffeine), and a dash of monk fruit for sweetness. Just pop the lid off or peel the sticker and stir into any hot or cold beverage.
MyHi is a remote worker’s best friend, removing stress from your work day while promoting productivity.
BUY IT HERE: $45-$65 per MyHi Pack
Plus Lemon Jack sativa gummies
Weed gummies are great, but what about weed gummies that make you productive? Look no further than Plus Lemon Jack Sativa Gummies. Plus Gummies are effect-based micro-sized gummies that come in at five-mg THC a pop.
This particular offering bursts with sour citrus to complement its Lemon Jack strain. This cross between Lemon Kush and Jack Herer, which is known for its uplifting and cerebral high, will have you buzzing along in no time.
BUY IT HERE: $19
New Phase Blends Go tincture
While CBD is great, it really works better in tandem with other substances and cannabinoids than it does on its own as an isolate. New Phase Blends patented products combine CBD with other botanicals and substances to create effect-based tinctures, gummies, and soft gels that actually do what they say they’re going to.
My personal favorite is the Go Tincture, which combines CBD with synephrine, a stimulant derived from bitter orange, and feels like a less cracked-out Adderall. It actually had quite a hand in the writing of this article, if you must know.
BUY IT HERE: $66
Fume Sativa Joint Pack
Fume is a new brand out of Napa Valley that hopes to merge the needlessly disparate worlds of cannabis and fine wine. Fume’s sun-grown flower is cultivated with attention to terpene profiles and full-body experience, similar to how one would conceptualize a fine wine. Having grown grapes in Napa for generations, Fume’s founders bring the same high-end energy to their cannabis products.
With eighths, pre-roll packs, and individual prerolls, the most “new year new me” product they have on the roster right now would be the Mango Kush Sativa Joint Pack. Feturing corked glass tubes and wooden mouth tips, the pack is chic enough to replace a bottle of wine as a dinner party gift. And, let’s be real, the best version of yourself always drinks less than the current one — this makes a good substitute.
BUY IT HERE: $60
Bob by Sweetwater Pharms
One of my favorite uplifting strains of the year, Bob by Sweetwater Pharms, is timely in a very tender way. This gorgeous strain is coincidentally named after Bob Saget, and is just as vibrant and giggle-inducing as the ledge himself (RIP!).
A sativa dominant hybrid, Bob is a cross between some super iconic genetics you rarely see anymore — Pre-98 Bubba Kush and Afghani Haze. The high is bright-eyed, exciting, and alive. It makes me feel happy in the morning and relaxed in the evening, without altering my ability to focus and get shit done. Viva, Bob!
BUY IT HERE: $35
Alien Fruit Cake Live Rosin by Cali
The new Alien Fruit Cake Live Rosin by the terp wizards at Cali Stripe Concentrates is cosmic, effervescent, and fun enough to remind me why I love weed so much in the first place.
Cali Stripe is like your favorite extract brand’s favorite extract brand. They’re small, but their attention to detail is unmatched and they produce some of the highest quality concentrates on the market. Period. They’re the type of brand where if you know, you know. And now you guys know, so go check them out.
With its bursting fruit flavor and exciting, focused high, Alien Fruit Cake is a great place to start your love affair with working whilst dabbing.
BUY IT HERE: $77 per gram
The Ispire Daab
Futuristic yet simple, the new Daab by Ispire takes all of the leg work out of consuming concentrates, making it perfect for beginners and dab bros alike. The electronic rig allows the user to fully customize their experience and is closer to the feeling of taking a traditional dab than other e-rigs on the market.
While most e-rigs deliver a semi-flaccid stream of weak vapor, few recreate the feeling of taking an actual fuck-you-up-dab. This is one of those devices.
For experts, take your dabbing to the next level with total control over every aspect of the experience. For newbies, press a button and inhale and be high! This machine is unique in that it allows you to be as involved, or not, as you want with the process of consuming concentrates.
BUY IT HERE: $300
The Dab Rite
While we’re on the dab train, did you guys know how important temperature is when it comes to dabbing? While stereotypically you think of someone coughing into oblivion after hitting a dab rig, that’s really only when the rig is too hot. Not only does it make you cough, you eviscerate all the delicate chemical compounds that get you high instead of vaporizing them.
So not only are you harming yourself, you’re missing out on a lot.
The Dab Rite is a thermometer for your dab rig that ensures you get the perfect hit every time. This takes the guessing out of waiting for the perfect temp to hit it. Let’s make dabbing cute in 2022. No more vomit-inducing coughing fits.
BUY IT HERE: $250
Tower Quest Prerolls
Tower is the preroll brand by Source Cannabis, which grows some of the best weed on the California market. They’ve been around since 2003, which is all but unheard of in this brutal ass industry. So clearly, they know what they’re doing.
You can tell a lot about a brand by what their pre-rolls are like. If they’re loose and shitty, the weed inside probably sucks, too. Towers are a reflection of Source’s meticulous practices.
These are high-quality joints that are perfect in every way. My favorite pack for New Year energy is Quest, a sativa dominant hybrid strain that makes every day an adventure.
BUY IT HERE: $50
Wellfounded Botanicals Relax Tincture
Let’s end out this list with the most utterly relaxing experience the weed world has to offer. Because at the end of the day, it’s hard being us right now. It’s sad, alienating, and we’re all so fucking sick all the time. We deserve to be pampered. This tincture has become one of my favorite ways to self-soothe.
Wellfounded Botanicals is a woman-owned company out of Santa Barbara that grows all their own flower on their farm, which is really important when it comes to products. Always go for the brand that cares enough to really make a product that’s truly their own. It’s a whole different tier than people who just put any old shitty weed in their products. You can feel the love.
The Relief tincture is a ratio tincture with a ton of THC and CBD that makes you feel like you’ve left your body and gone to heaven, and… maybe it’s 2005 again.
BUY IT HERE: $90