That’s how the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences would prefer it, at least.
When asked about The Slap while speaking with the press this week, newly-appointed Academy CEO Bill Kramer said, “We want to move forward, to have an Oscars that celebrates cinema.” What does that entail? “We want to return to a show that has reverence for film and 95 years of the Oscars,” he explained. “It’s a moment to really reflect on our membership, all craft areas, our changing industry, [and] our fans… There are ways to do that, that are entertaining and authentic, and that are tied to our mission to honor excellence in moviemaking. I don’t think that’s mutually exclusive.”
Here’s another way to “honor excellence in moviemaking”: turn the Oscars into the mid-2000s MTV Movie Awards. Replace Best Director with Best Action Sequence; swap Best Screenplay for Best Kiss; and get rid of Best Picture… actually, Best Picture can stay, as long as Jackass Forever wins. There, I fixed the Oscars. That wasn’t hard, now was it?