The Spurs won a tank battle on Thursday night against the Blazers, 129-127, as even their limited roster was able to take down Portland, which is currently the most aggressively tanking team in the entire league.
In the game, Keldon Johnson scored 24 points to help lead the Spurs to their second win in three games, as they build a little bit of positivity with their young group to close out the season with a bottom-three position secured. Johnson was back in the lineup after missing Tuesday’s loss to the Suns with an illness, but this was not some phony ailment meant to just keep him out. No, Johnson was dealing with one of the most relatable issues an NBA player can have: a stomach bug caused by an ill-fated choice for dinner.
Keldon Johnson had stomach issues last night and thinks it came from a @bucees stop.
But that’s not stopping him from going to one of his local favorites again
“It taste good, really good…Imma go back!”#GoSpursGo | #Spurs @TylerFeldmanTV started this fiasco haha pic.twitter.com/eRYJmf9H2A
— Cory Mose (@Cory_Mose) April 7, 2023
For the uninitiated, Buc-ee’s is a gas station chain you can find across Texas and the south that is well-known for its BBQ — which is genuinely pretty good, particularly given where it’s coming from and the cost — as well as basically being a miniature Walmart. Picking up Buc-ee’s isn’t as sketchy as the phrase “gas station BBQ” might sound initially, but it does still come with risks of upsetting one’s stomach and that put Johnson on the shelf for a night.
Still, have no fear, Keldon will not be deterred from defying the rules of the Spurs’ strength coaches and nutritionists, and will be back for more Buc-ee’s in the near future, declaring “I’m gonna go back” with an incredible defiance against the wishes of both the Spurs staff and his stomach’s general well-being.