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Rudy Giuliani Is Certain He Could Finger The Dastardly White House Cocaine Smuggler Using ‘Lie Detector Analysts,’ If Only Biden Would Let Him

Just when the White House cocaine story couldn’t be milked any further by the right-wing media, Rudy Giuliani has entered the scene. Donald Trump’s disgraced former attorney and America’s Mayor stopped by Newsmax where he basically vowed to use his unique crime-stopping skills to hunt the culprit to the ends of the earth.

“You give me a couple of New York City detectives, we’ll get this thing figured out,” Giuliani boasted before offering to work pro bono. “Bernie Kerik and I will be willing to do it for nothing” (As of this writing, the White House hasn’t put Rudy on the case.)

Despite the fact that former Trump press secretary Kayleigh McEnany reported that the area where the cocaine was found is “heavily trafficked,” making the task of finding the culprit even harder, Giuliani isn’t buying that story. He even went so far as to call McEnany a liar.

Via Mediaite:

Why don’t they appoint me and give me a couple of um, of um, lie detector analysts, and a couple of— couple of forensic experts, and I’ll catch them. First of all, we’ll first figure out everybody that went through that area. It is not heavily trafficked. That’s absurd. That lying press secretary made it sound like it’s Grand Central Station. Of course there are people that come in there, it’s the waiting room, but it’s not heavily trafficked.

Giuliani ended his rant by blasting the Secret Service for not finding the culprit already.

“If you can’t figure out who did this, the entire Secret Service should resign and new people should come in,” Giuliani said. “This is a relatively narrow group of people. It’s not the whole world we’re investigating.”

(Via Mediaite)