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Legendary Karate Kid Screenwriter Robert Kamen On ‘The Fifth Element,’ ‘Taken,’ And ‘Creating’ Jason Statham

It was initially a random question about Mr. Miyagi that led me to Robert Kamen, the writer of The Karate Kid. While The Karate Kid has become a cottage industry unto itself, and made fine careers out of originally small parts for half the cast (a few of whom I’ve interviewed myself), the man who created “wax on, wax off” and “sweep the leg” has stayed well out of the spotlight. This despite the movie being, at least partly, a riff on his own life story. After getting beaten up by bullies on the way to the 1964 World’s Fair, Kamen took up karate, being taught first by a bellicose Marine captain and later immersing himself in Goju-ryu, founded by Okinawan karateka Chojun Miyagi.

There would seem to be an obvious reason for Kamen avoiding the limelight: he doesn’t need it. After The Karate Kid, Kamen went on to write The Fifth Element with Luc Besson, became a prolific “script assassin” on movies like Lethal Weapon 3, Under Siege, and The Fugitive, and collaborating with Besson, created both the Taken and Transporter franchises. The latter was inspired, Kamen says, by how big a pain in the ass Bruce Willis was on the set of The Fifth Element. Besson’s resulting epiphany, according to Kamen: “We have to create our own movie stars.”

It sounds self-aggrandizing on the face of it, but if you look at Jason Statham’s filmography it seems to bear out. Before The Transporter, he was a semi-obscure English indie actor. In virtually every role after that, Jason Statham played Jason Statham from The Transporter. Liam Neeson’s post-Taken arc is much the same.

Who knew that was all because of the same guy? How many movie roads lead back to Robert Kamen? How many times had I written about Robert Kamen without even really knowing I was writing about Robert Kamen? (See Statham voice posts, lists of Taken ripoffs, and love letters to The Fifth Element for evidence of this).

Along the way to the writing the world’s most famous martial arts movie, Kamen traveled to Afghanistan, wrote a novel about it, turned the novel into a screenplay that he sold for $135,000 in 1979, and used the money to buy a vineyard in Sonoma. That vineyard, which Kamen says he bought for $1,000 an acre and speculates is probably worth $500,000 an acre now, became Kamen Wines, which does brisk business. It’s hard not to conclude that he’s led a charmed existence.

This, I figured, was a man who had some stories. From getting his black belt in a Long Island parking lot after a drunken bar fight to ballbusting Liam Neeson, I was not wrong.

I realize I’ve written about a lot of your movies not knowing that they were all you.

That happens with somebody who steers clear of all publicity.

I don’t blame you. I’ve interviewed Billy Zabka and Martin Kove within the last year, just randomly.

I tell you, it’s all very interesting. Here you’ve got Billy, who basically was in, I don’t know, five scenes of the original Karate Kid, and Marty, who was in four scenes, and they made a career out of who they were. They would go around doing autographs at conventions. And then this thing comes up, and now here’s Marty doing Intuit commercials on television, and Billy is like a houseplant that was dead, and he was watered, and he has just flourished. Even the Cobra Kai kids, most of them had no lines, and yet they have dined out on being the Cobra Kai for many, many years.

Martin’s my favorite kind of actor to interview, who just will talk and talk and talk forever and tell you a story about every person in Hollywood.

Yeah, I love Marty, but the problem with Marty is that also when I see his number on the phone, I send it right to voicemail. He’ll just go on and on. Actually, when he would call the Cobra Kai guys to ask them questions, they would refer him to me. And I said, “Dudes, I have nothing to do with your fucking project except I collect residuals. Do not do this to me.” He’ll just talk and talk and talk.

So the reason I reached out initially was that story about this other Miyagi. I have a hard time believing that there was a completely different Miyagi who has the same name, is also a karate champion, had a Hawaiian wife and saved a bunch of people from a cave. Does that seem like an insane coincidence to you?

I have no idea what that’s all about. You have no idea the kind of stuff that has come out of this. Miyagi is a common Okinawan name. It’s not a very common Japanese name, but whatever. You have no idea how many people have claimed that they were the Karate Kid or that they had something to do with The Karate Kid. Mr. Miyagi’s first name has been changed four different times by people who don’t bother to pay attention to the script.

So yours was based on the founder of your karate style then.

Right. Of the Okinawan Goju karate style, Chojun Miyagi. He was the guy. But he wasn’t kind and gentle, as my teacher was not kind and gentle. He was kind, but not gentle. Karate in Okinawa takes on a different significance than it does in, say, Japan or Korea or someplace else. Karate is part of their culture. When I was in Okinawa, the thing that struck me the most was they don’t say, “Ah, that guy is a great fighter.” What they say is, “He trains hard.”

The movie came directly out of you learning karate?

Yeah, it came directly out of me knowing about this stuff. Jerry Weintraub, the late, great Jerry Weintraub, had bought an article about a nine-year-old kid who got a black belt. Frank Price, who was the chairman of Columbia, bought the article and called me up and said, “What do you think about this?” I said, “Well, considering it took me five years to get my first degree of black belt, I think this nine-year-old kid stuff is very Americanized.” And he said, “Well, what do you know about it?” And I said, “Well, I know this is a lot of nonsense, but I have a story.” And I told him my story, and he bought it, and it had nothing to do with the article. It didn’t hurt that he was my mentor. I started it the day my oldest daughter, Allie, was born, and I finished it September 15th. 13 months later, we were shooting.

That wasn’t your first script that had been produced at that point, right?

No. It was my third. I had this golden, blessed career. I thought this was the way that all screenwriting careers went. I sold a script. Three weeks after I sold my first script, I bought my vineyard with the proceeds from that. And then I was hired to do Taps at 20th Century Fox. Six months later they were shooting the movie. And six months after that, they were shooting another movie called Split Image that I rewrote. And I’m like, “Whoa, this is great!”

Then I did The Karate Kid and, of course, life became much easier. Because I didn’t live in LA., I start meeting screenwriters and hear about guys who have been writing for years, never getting anything made. My friend, Richard LaGravenese, my friend, Tony Gilroy, all these people were working for years before they got anything done. And I’m like, “Oh yeah, la-di-da.” Of course, as the years went on I started seeing how hard it was. I’ve been blessed.

I read that you got into screenwriting because you’d gone to Afghanistan as a grad student and then you wrote a novel afterwards. What was that like?

It was like sometimes you were on a camel, sometimes you were on a donkey. Sometimes you were walking. It was a bunch of nomads. I was with a bunch of Kochi nomads. They went from north to south. They followed the season with their flocks and their kids and their wives and their very vicious dogs, and I was with them. It was great — when you’re 22. It’s not so great if you’re 73. But I just said to my wife the other night, I said, “It was the best 11 months of my life.”

Do you have that one project that didn’t get made that you are most annoyed by it never getting made?

Yeah, I do. We all do. It’s called Oasis, and it’s a love story between a girl with cerebral palsy and a boy who is one slice short of a loaf that takes place in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, in the Italian-American neighborhoods. I call it my cerebral palsy love story. And we have a cast. We have a girl who has muscular dystrophy who is a great actress, Madison Ferris, who co-starred with Sally Fields on Broadway, and she is confined to a wheelchair. We have John Magaro, who just costarred in First Cow as the boy. And we have Adam Salky to direct it, and all we need is 3 million bucks. It’s easier to get $50 million to do one of my action movies than it is to get $3 million bucks to do a disability love story. It’s 15 years now, and we’re still trying to get it made.

I read that you were working on doing a Karate Kid Broadway musical.

Oh, I am. It was going full-steam until the hoax of a pandemic happened, and then Broadway shut it down. But now we’re gearing up again because Broadway will be reopened. We got our first view of the choreography this week. We have all the lyrics written. We have the book written. We have the production designer who was nominated for two Tonys in the same season — Derek McLane. The greatest living theater director in Japan is directing it. We’re ready to go, but the theaters are closed.

[You can call me a terrible journalist here, but I couldn’t tell if “hoax of a pandemic” was a joke or not. And I had so much that I wanted to ask that I didn’t want to derail the whole thing by getting off on some conspiratorial tangent. Later in the interview he mentions hating Trump, so who knows. Ultimately I thought his views on COVID, whatever they may be, are probably the least interesting thing about him.]

I read another story about you getting your black belt in a parking lot in, what was it, Long Island?

Oh my God. Yeah, I got my first black belt. I wasn’t studying Okinawan Goju at the time, I was studying Uechi-ryu karate, which is another Okinawan style, kind of a hybridized style, with a guy named Ed McGrath, who was a great fighter. He didn’t really have a lot of time for the art, but he was a great fighter. He taught me how to be a really tough guy, and for being a short, skinny Jewish guy from the Bronx, learning how to fight was a great thing. He took me to a bar one night in Northport, Long Island, and we went with my friend, Dennis and him. Dennis was my training mate, and he insulted some construction worker by hitting on his girlfriend. And then he just turned to me and said, “Mr. Kamen, dispatch this man.” The next thing I knew, we were in a bar fight, and we were punching and kicking. He had an alcohol problem, Ed McGrath did. He was a drunk, and he was a big guy. Finally, we leave the bar, and he took me to the trunk of his car, had me kneel down in the parking lot and gave me my black belt.

So I guess that influenced your negative mentor character [John Kreese]?

Very charming guy, Ed. Very tough, but he was very charming. There was another guy who taught at a dojo in Queens who was a very hard-ass guy. This other guy wasn’t very charming, and he encouraged people to hurt people. Ed McGrath didn’t encourage people to hurt people, but the art was secondary to the fighting. And Kreese is just an over-the-top lunatic.

Did that or any of your later lessons make it into things that Mr. Miyagi did in the movie?

You mean wax on, wax off?

Sure, stuff like that.

Well, wax on, wax off is actually a real block. Paint the fence is actually a blocking system. Sand the floor is actually a blocking system. But I just made that shit up. I am in the make-shit-up business. That’s what I do.

I’m impressed with how well the movie holds up. When you watch it now, are there things that you find yourself regretting or wishing you’d done differently at all?

No. Not one thing. There are a couple of lines in there I could have done without, but we needed filler lines. And no, everything about the experience, everything about writing the first two films, I don’t regret anything at all. The genius of the Cobra Kai guys is that they shamelessly stole and mined these movies to fit in with what they wanted to do, which, watching season three and how they got the girl who Daniel saved in the watchtower during the typhoon to be the regional head of whatever the auto dealership was, I just thought that was brilliant. I didn’t even remember that sequence. We needed something to lead up to saving Sato and Miyagi’s relationship and needed something for Daniel to do that was heroic. I just made that stuff up. And when we did it, I looked at it, and I turned to John and said, “This is never going to fly.” And he said, “No, this is great.”

On that note, were any specific creative battles that you remember winning or losing during the process?

The big creative battle was to keep the scene with Mr. Miyagi drunk and talking about his ex-wife, which is going to play a very significant part in the stage play. Columbia wanted to cut it out of the movie. And despite what he said later, Jerry Weintraub was all ready to cut it. “I don’t care. It slows the story down, blah, blah, blah.” And I said, “This is the heart of the movie.” John Avildsen and I felt that way. I went right to Frank and I played my mentor card. I said, “Frank, please, I’m begging you. Test it with this. If it doesn’t work, you can take it out.” He did, and it worked. It pissed everybody off. I didn’t go through channels.

I think that’s a big part of the social commentary of the movie that holds up, and that scene is anchoring it.

The reason they wanted to cut it is that it made the running time of the movie so that you could only have one less show a day for the exhibitors. Of course, that’s not what they said. What they said was, “Well, it’s slowing down the story,” and this and that. But I do think The Karate Kid holds up because it’s genuine and the emotional beats are universal. And also because Pat Morita and Ralph Macchio were magic, especially Pat. I can’t see Toshiro Mifune and Ralph Macchio having chemistry.

Also, Morita’s story is more like Miyagi’s than Mifune’s would have been too, right? Having been in internment.

Yeah. They just did a documentary on Pat called More than Miyagi, and he had a sad life even though he was a funny guy. He was the sweetest guy but had a sad life. He was an alcoholic.

So The Fifth Element. It didn’t occur to me that those were both your projects.

A lot of people don’t make that connection. But The Fifth Element is the genius of Luc Besson, who is a fucking genius.

What was getting involved with that like?

I was working for Warner Brothers at the time as their script assassin. I would doctor scripts they were putting into production. Bill Gerber, who produced Gran Torino, who was the executive vice-president or whatever at Warners, 1993, called me in. He said, “We have this script. We can’t make heads nor tails of it, but we think this guy is a visionary.” He sent me the script, and it made no sense. But I watched La Femme Nikita, and I saw a cinematic genius.

And I said, “I’ll come in and meet him.” He said, “Great.” So I come in and meet the guy, and I tell him everything that’s wrong with his script. He doesn’t get all of it because his English wasn’t that great. And he sits there, and I could see that he was getting more and more pissed off. He’s a French auteur, I’m just this fucking Hollywood screenwriter. And at the end of the meeting, Billy called me up, he said, “Dude, you just ruined that relationship.” Because all I had done was I just kept saying what a huge piece of shit this script was.

A week later, my phone rings, and it’s Luc. And he said, “I thought about what you said, and will you work with me on the script?” And I said, “Oh my God, yeah, sure. I’d be honored to work with you.” And he said, “Good. Come to Paris.” I said, “When?” He said, “What are you doing tomorrow?” I should have known right then and there what I was getting myself into because the guy wasn’t going to say no. I went to Paris, and I was supposed to stay for three days. I stayed for three weeks. He takes me directly from the airport on a Sunday, to this studio with no heat in it. It used to be an old foundry, and it was freezing. And he opens up the back of this warehouse, and there’s everything for The Fifth Element — the costumes, the creature, everything. But he doesn’t have a coherent story. So we sat down, and for three weeks we worked, and at the end of three weeks, we had a coherent story. Then it took another four years to get the movie made because he had to get together $90 million.

I read that his original draft of The Fifth Element was 300 pages or something, and it was like a novel.

It was actually 180 pages, and then he added a second part to it, which made no sense either. We were going to do it as a sequel, but it made no sense, and The Fifth Element wasn’t big enough here. It was huge in the rest of the world, and it’s a classic, but it only did $75 million here or $80 million. It was way ahead of its time. So we never did the sequel, and the sequel would have been taking the other 180-page thing he had and working it into a script. He and I worked for a long time, we’ve since done 15 or 16 films together.

He used to say, “I don’t see that. I don’t see that.” And at first I don’t know what the fuck he was talking about. He didn’t see it because he’s a camera on legs. He’s a visualist. Once I understood that, he was easier to work with. He’s a genius. And Leeloo, he made up a whole language, and he and Milla used to speak the language to each other! It was bizarre. And then he married her. Then he went off and married her.

Bruce Willis now has a reputation as being a pain in the ass.

He was very difficult, and Luc worked around it. But Luc wasn’t used to it. After he did that, he came to me and said, “We have to create our own movie stars.” And that’s what we did with The Transporter. We created Jason.

And then what was Taken? How did that come about?

Luc told me a story about this guy who was auctioning off women in a chateau in Belgium or something. And then we read an article in the paper about a bunch of Albanians who, instead of doing what all the other thugs were doing, which was going to small towns in eastern Europe when the iron curtain fell and recruiting women, these guys were just kidnapping women, backpackers. But they were so stupid they didn’t realize that backpackers have families, and it didn’t last very long. So we took the two things. We mixed them together, and Taken came about.

It seems like there have been at least 20 movies that tried to do exactly what Taken did.

Liam Neeson has made a fortune doing Taken 1, 2, 3. I always kid him about it. I say, “Oh, where are you?” “I’m in Australia.” “Are you doing Taken 12?” He figured out that he’s a great actor, but he wanted to make money. This is a money machine for him. Liam picks up a gun, and they pay him a lot of money.

Are you proud that you created something that’s become such an industry of its own?

No. I’m not getting paid for it. What do I care?

Do you have lines that you’re particularly proud of that you feel like people don’t remember?

No, I don’t. Once something is gone from me, it’s gone from me. In Karate Kid 2, I had a sweatshirt that said it, “A lie becomes truth only if you want to believe it.” And that is more telling today than ever with this creature we just got rid of in the White House. He lied so often and so much that people started believing the lies. I loved that line, and nobody else loved it. But it is. A lie becomes truth only if you want to believe it. Then it’s the truth, even though it’s a lie.

Vince Mancini is on Twitter. You can access his archive of reviews here.

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Phife Dawg Trades Witty Wordplay With Busta Rhymes And Redman On ‘Nutshell Part 2’

When Phife Dawg passed away in 2016, he was a few months into recording a new solo album — his first since 2000’s Ventilation: Da LP. While the album was originally slated for release in 2017, it was shelved for unknown reasons until very recently. In November of 2020, A Tribe Called Quest announced that the album would finally come out sometime in 2021, and today, the first single was released. “Nutshell Part 2” is a sequel to the 2016 J-Dilla-produced track “Nutshell” and features two of Tribe’s oldest and most frequent collaborators: Busta Rhymes and Redman.

The beat over which the trio rhymes is a vintage Tribe combination of cracking drums and sparse sample hits, putting the focus on the three MCs’ intricate wordplay. All three use the fun tactic of repeating their words’ prefixes multiple times each bar, stressing the echoing sounds for emphasis. Phife flips the “re-” sound to start out with, while Busta plays with “un-” words. Redman bats cleanup by hammering the word “keep” over and over again, finding more and more clever ways to stretch the word’s utility throughout his verse.

The song turns out to be an effective preview of what’s to come on Phife’s album, titled Forever: The sort of wholesome, nuts-and-bolts throwback rap Tribe was known for throughout its tenure in the 1990s. Forever is slated for release through indie distributor AWAL sometime this year.

Listen to Phife Dawg’s “Nutshell Part 2” featuring Busta Rhymes and Redman above.

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Another Missouri Newspaper Is Taking ‘Pathetic’ Josh Hawley To The Woodshed For Relentlessly Lying To His Constituents

Missouri Senator Josh Hawley is once again in the crosshairs of a home state paper for his continued support of Donald Trump in light of the violent assault on the U.S. Capitol building. Hawley has already faced intense criticism for his infamous raised fist salute to the insurrectionist crowd on his way to do Trump’s bidding and “Stop the Steal” by objecting to the certification of the 2020 election results, which Hawley still believes are fraudulent. Or in other words, the same “Big Lie” that prompted the attack on the Capitol.

Now, as Trump’s impeachment trial proceeds in the Senate, Hawley has continued to defend the former president despite damning evidence that he incited the January 6 assault. In a scathing op-ed, the Editorial Board of the St. Louis Dispatch blasts Hawley as “pathetic” and an “embarrassment” for his false statements that the impeachment trial is unconstitutional and partisan:

Missourians must not allow themselves to be fooled by the weak boilerplate defenses by Hawley and [Missouri Senator Roy] Blunt. Hawley tweeted on Tuesday: “Today Democrats launched their unconstitutional impeachment trial while President Biden cancels thousands of working class jobs across this country. Americans deserve better.” In fact, a bipartisan majority of senators have deemed the proceeding to be constitutional. And the attempt to divert attention to Biden, who has not canceled a single job, is pathetic but oh-so-typical of Hawley.

Getting roasted by Missouri newspapers is starting to became a habit for Hawley. The day of the Capitol attack, the senator was taken to the woodshed by the Editorial Board of the Kansas City Star who accused Hawley of having a direct hand in the insurrection that is second only to Trump. “No one other than President Donald Trump himself is more responsible for Wednesday’s coup attempt at the U.S. Capitol than one Joshua David Hawley,” the op-ed reads. “Hawley’s actions in the last week had such impact that he deserves an impressive share of the blame for the blood that’s been shed.”

(Via St. Louis Dispatch)

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John Oliver Busts The ‘Complete Myth’ That Trump Was Somehow Good For Comedy

Maybe John Oliver didn’t mention Donald Trump during every episode of HBO’s Last Week Tonight over the past four years, but it felt like he did. Can you blame him? Trump dominated the news cycle in a way few others ever have, but now that the former-president has permanently left D.C. for Mar-a-Lago, Oliver is ready to cover other topics.

And boy is he relieved (he’s not the only one).

“It’s a complete myth and it’s kind of genuinely insulting,” Oliver told the Washington Post about the false belief that Trump was good for comedy. “Wow, how little do you think of me? Because partly it comes from, ‘Oh, it must’ve written itself.’ Really? You f*cking think that? You try injecting poison into your body every week and get a joke out the other side that Twitter hasn’t already come up with. The happiest I was at the end of last year was we finished our final show and started working on our new list of shows. And it was great to be able to think about wonky stories.” Finally, more time to obsess over Adam Driver.

Oliver also teased what his show plans to cover this season:

“The long gestating problems this virus has shone a spotlight on that have been ignored for a long time. Human history has shown we’re pretty adept at choosing to forget about them again as soon as it’s convenient. So I think the virus will be an interesting hook into some interesting stories this year.”

Last Week Tonight returns to HBO this Sunday, February 14.

(Via the Washington Post)

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What Streaming Service Offers The Best Options This Weekend?

Streaming services love us, and we love them, too, so why not head into the so-called holiday of love with that mutual affection in mind? Yet don’t forget all of the rivalry going on with the streaming wars, which keep growing more heated as various streaming platforms can’t stop trying to one-up each other, and we’re all reaping those benefits. With that said, we’re back to pick the best of what those platform has to offer while weighing quantity and quality and every quality in between to pick a winner.

Once again, Hulu, Amazon, and Peacock are coming into the game with fewer new selections, but what they’ve got packs a punch. Meanwhile, Netflix is giving us all of the things, even though not everyone will love everything on the list. Disney+ is still winning over the nerds, this time with a Halloween-themed WandaVision, and HBO Max comes in with the prestige titles, including the return of one the one and only John Oliver, who scores all of the (highly subjective) points here. Sure, he needs a hiatus to freshen things up for us each year, but we didn’t have to enjoy his time away, right? Let’s tackle the guy because he’s swinging the entire week’s competition in HBO Max’s favor.

We’ll discuss all of these top streaming services below, beginning with HBO Max’s newest offerings, including an Oscar-buzz generating movie, Oliver’s aforementioned return, and true crime horrors to your heart’s delight.

HBO Max

HBO Max

Judas and the Black Messiah (HBO Max movie) — This Awards-tipped movie can’t stop with the talent. Starring Daniel Kaluuya, LaKeith Stanfield, and Jesse Plemons, this film could be an awards contender. The story revolves around William O’Neal, who infiltrates the Black Panther Party in Illinois after being offered an FBI plea deal. His mission? To gather intelligence upon the head honcho, Chairman Fred Hampton.

Last Week Tonight: Season 8 Premiere (HBO Series, Sunday On HBO Max) — Everyone’s favorite sarcastic and satiric late-night host has finally returned (after blowing up 2020 and getting weird with poor, sweet Adam Driver), and not a moment too soon. A while lot has happened since we last saw John Oliver break down exactly what’s wrong with our society in a way that only he can do, and let’s hope that he brings back that award-winning hoodie, so we can all get fancy with him.

Very Scary People: Season 2 (HBO Max series) — This wild series revisits recent history’s most frightening and diabolical characters. This batch of episodes places focus upon Charles Manson and Aileen Wuornos, and Donnie Wahlberg’s here to give things a ceremonial flavor in stories that lead to justice after tracing the winded and twisted paths of elusive miscreants.

Netflix

Netflix

Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (Netflix series) — Director Joe Berlinger (Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile, the Ted Bundy movie starring Zac Efron and Paradise Lost, the HBO documentary trilogy about the West Memphis Three) launches this new anthology series that explores why some notorious crime locales gain their reputations. This season’s all about L.A.’s so-called “hotel death” and what happened when a young woman named Elisa Lam disappeared without a trace and after behaving bizarrely. Along the way, Berlinger seeks to crush conspiracy theories and vanquish ghost theories, although the whole affair is still a spooky ride.

To All The Boys: Always And Forever (Netflix film) — Noah Centineo’s reign as the Internet’s Boyfriend may be coming to an end with the conclusion of Netflix’s smash-hit, romcom trilogy. Lana Condor’s still keeping Lara Jean’s head on as tightly as possible while things get dreamier with her boyfriend, although everything could change with their oncoming plans for college. Will they both go to Stanford and keep their love alive, or will Lara Jean depart school in New York City? Long distance love isn’t so lovely, and god only knows what else can be revealed in this film that they haven’t shown in this trailer (this franchise is a master at the art of revealing the whole movie in a few minutes), but fans will be excited to find out whether Peter and Lara Jean can actually make it beyond their idyllic high school setting.

Red Dot (Netflix film) — This might be a cautionary tale for people who decide it’s a great idea to rekindle their marriages in the unforgiving wilderness — who knows? For sure, though, this is a claustrophobic tale about what happens when a sadistic killer points a red laser dot into Nadja and David’s tent, and that act sends them fighting for their lives. Naturally, a lot of marriage drama will happen along the way, as they attempt to save themselves in the snowy terrain. I guess couple’s counseling was a no-go, but that’s not nearly as entertaining as escaping into other people’s hell when they find themselves feeling like they’re on the other end of a video-game gun. Also, there’s a dog in this trailer, and nothing had better happen to him, or I’m gonna call for John Wick vengeance.

Squared Love (Netflix film) — This romcom follows a teacher who’s moonlighting as a model, all to pay off some debt, but then she meets a womanizer/journalist, who’s being blackmailed to appear in some advertisements. They become worst enemies, and we can probably guess (given the whole romcom thing) how these two will proceed, right?

Hate by Dani Rovira (Netflix stand-up special) — Netflix’s stand-up well generally runs deep, and that’s the only place they’ve slowed down the content during this pandemic. Fortunately Dani Rovera is here with a non-filtered version of humanity, and he’s here to hate on vegans, pet owners, Instagram users, and, uh, Antonio Banderas’ mom? Alright.

Buried by the Bernards (Netflix series) — This family dramedy revolves around a funeral-home owning brood that focuses on care, service, and comfort, but they gotta remember to care for themselves, right? We’ll see about that, but in the meantime, this series is dishing out sarcasm and honesty and an unorthodox approach in an already tough-to-navigate business.

Malcolm & Marie (Netflix film) — Zendaya and John David Washington are getting “achingly romantic,” not to mention dramatic, in this black-and-white film shot during lockdown. Sam Levinson directs and Marcell Rev is on cinematography, so the film looks achingly beautiful as well. Washington’s character is celebrating his movie premiere, and Zendaya portrays his girlfriend, and something goes wrong once they return home with revelations flying and their love put to the test. Levinson meant to send an ode to the Hollywood romances of yesteryear with this one, so Happy (early) Valentine’s Day.

Amazon Prime

Amazon Prime

Map Of Tiny Perfect Things (Amazon Prime film) — Time loops somehow don’t get old, especially after Palm Springs and Russian Doll freshened-up the concept once more. In this film. two teens find themselves reliving the same day while inexplicably drawn together. It’s a love story, of course, where they weigh how and whether to escape their never-ending yet ultimately perfect day.

Disney+

Disney+

Wandavision: Episode 5 (Disney+ series) — The Marvel Cinematic Universe has launched into Phase Four with abandon, and now, it’s time for the Halloween episode after getting seriously dark before Kevin Feige cranked out the best episode of the series so far last week. The show’s more inventive than most superhero-oriented fare that we’ve seen in the past few years, and it’s fantastic to finally see the Marvel titles coming our way once more.

Life Below Zero: The Next Generation: Season 1 (National Geographic series on Disney+ — The wilds of Alaska is ground central for this off-the-grid group of ruffians, who are all willing and able (at least at first) to leave their contemporary lifestyles to confront a challenging new world, which will include bracing for the ghosts of winter, which is much, much longer (and with short-short or nonexistent days) than we’re used to in more moderate latitudes.

Hulu

Hulu

Into the Dark: Tentacles The monthly horror-movie series returns with a psychosexual horror-thriller about love, or love gone wrong at least, when a young Los Angeles couple falls deeply in love, only to find that their intimacy takes an enormously dark turn. Happy holiday of love, y’all.

The New York Times Presents: “Framing Britney Spears”: New Episode (FX on Hulu) — The seemingly unending saga of mega pop star Britney Spears’ controversial conservatorship is only one focus of this docuseries that aims to do a deep-dive, retrospective view on how Spears’ life and career has also been shaped by public perception and the press. It’s been a long twelve years for Britney under her father’s financial thumb, and that followed a few years of public chaos, which I’m sure you will never forget. Her fans rally in this series for her “freedom,” given that Britney has vowed not to work again until she can make her own decisions again.

Peacock

Peacock

So Much Stand-Up Comedy (Peacock) — Not too much in the way of new content comes to NBCU’s streaming service this weekend, but they’re a contender with bold moves in their library (The Office, Modern Family) and soon becoming the exclusive streaming home of WWE. In addition, comedy is proving to be one of their strengths with The Amber Ruffin Show bringing a new late-night episode this weekend, and they recently added all of these new stand-up specials.

Bob Saget: Zero to Sixty (2017)
Brody Stevens: Live From the Main Room (2018)
Brother Sam: A Tribute to Sam Kinison (2005)
Cameron Esposito: Marriage Material (2016)
Colin Quinn: Unconstitutional (2015)
D.L. Hughley: Clear (2014)
D.L. Hughley: Reset (2012)
Darrell Hammond: Mayhem Explained (2018)
David Cross: Oh, Come On (2019)
Eddie Griffin: You Can Tell ‘Em I Said It (2011)
Finesse Mitchell: The Spirit Told Me to Tell You (2018)
Harland Williams: A Force of Nature (2011)
Henry Rollins: Keep Talking, Pal (2018)
Iliza Shlesinger: Over & Over (2019)
Iliza Shlesinger: War Paint (2013)
Janeane Garofalo: If I May (2016)
Jasper Redd: Jazz Talk (2014)
Jay Pharoah: Can I Be Me? (2015)
Jermaine Fowler: Give ‘Em Hell, Kid (2015)
Jimmie JJ Walker & Mike Winslow: We are Still Here (2018)
Joel McHale: Live From Pyongyang (2019)
Joe Coco Diaz: Sociably Unacceptable (2016)
Kathleen Madigan: Madigan Again (2015)
Kevin Hart Presents – Keith Robinson: Back of the Bus Funny (2014)
Kevin Hart Presents – Lil Rel Howery: Relevant (2015)
Kevin Hart Presents – Plastic Cup Boyz (2014)
Kevin Nealon: Whelmed…But Not Overly (2012)
Kevin Smith: Silent, But Deadly (Extended Edition) (2018)
Larry the Cable Guy: Remain Seated (2020)
Lavell Crawford: Home for the Holidays (2017)
Louie Anderson: Big Baby Boomer (2012)
Marc Maron: Thinky Pain (2013)
Margaret Cho: Psycho (2015)
Maria Bamford: Weakness Is the Brand (2020)
Michael Ian Black: Very Famous (2011)
Mike Birbiglia: My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend (2013)
Sam Kinison: Family Entertainment Hour (1991)
Sasheer Zamata: Pizza Mind (2017)
Sinbad: Make Me Wanna Holla (2014)
Sinbad: Where U Been? (2010)
Tim Allen: Men Are Pigs (1990)
Tom Arnold: Past & Present Imperfectly (2018)
Tom Segura: Completely Normal (2014)
Whitney Cummings: Money Shot (2010)
It’s Showtime at the Apollo

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Ranking The NBA’s Best Big 3s Of The 2010s

Despite perceptions, NBA super-teams aren’t a new phenomenon. Countless teams over the past six decades have featured multiple All-Stars. Just look at the Bulls and Jazz of the 90s or the Lakers, Celtics, and Pistons of the 80s, and so on. The difference is that the formation of super-teams is a much more deliberate endeavor these days, particularly in players courting other players in free agency. It’s that distinction that tends to rub some people the wrong way.

In reality, it’s mostly a byproduct of player empowerment, which in many ways is the mark of a healthy league. But regardless of whether it happens organically through the draft or through back-channeling and subterfuge, super-teams are a staple of the modern NBA, and they’ve come to dominate the league over the past decade in the form of superstar trios.

Below is our ranking of the very best of the Big 3s that helped define the 2010s.

Honorable Mentions:

The Brooklyn Nets’ newly-assembled trio of Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, and James Harden might eventually take their place high atop this list, but any attempt to rank them would be purely guesswork at this point. Still, the expectations are high, and the talent is certainly there to make big things happen.

Let’s also take this opportunity to give a special shout to a couple of trios that never quite made it to the promised land but nonetheless gave us plenty of thrills during their time together. As a rule of thumb, if your core group was good enough to earn a nickname that has become part of the common parlance, then you deserve some acknowledgement. So shout-out to the Lob City Clippers and the Grit-n-Grind Grizzlies and their respective cores of Chris Paul, Blake Griffin, and DeAndre Jordan and Marc Gasol, Zach Randolph, and Mike Conley.

6. Kobe Bryant, Pau Gasol, Lamar Odom

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The Lakers Big 3 was already winding down when they won their second-straight championship, exacting revenge on the Celtics for their loss in 2008. It would prove to be Kobe’s last title run and would mark the beginning of the organization’s slow decline that would essentially last until LeBron’s arrival in the summer of 2019.

Still, Kobe and company gave us quite a Finals series to kick off the decade — a gritty seven-game grudge match between the two most decorated teams in league history and one of the all-time great rivalries, to boot.

5. Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili, Tony Parker

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If the Big 3 Heat were “Hollywood as Hell,” as Joakim Noah liked to say, then the Big 3 Spurs were whatever the opposite of that might be, i.e. a blue-collar, workmanlike team from a modest town like San Antonio. Yet, there was nothing prosaic about the way Tim Duncan and company were able to dominate the NBA at various points over the course of two decades. This is a 2010s list, mind you, so their accomplishments of the 2000s don’t factor in here.

By 2013, the aging Spurs were the unlikeliest of foils to the ebullient Heat, but there they were anyway, pushing LeBron and company to the hairy edge in a seven-game series and coming just one rebound away from toppling the Miami juggernaut and almost certainly sending that organization into an existential tailspin. And that heart-breaking loss only inspired them to come back with the type of vengeance typically reserved for super-villain origin stories.

In their rematch in the 2014 Finals, the Spurs so categorically dismantled the Heat that it wasn’t even funny. They put on an absolute clinic of passing, defense, and play-making, elevating the game to its Platonic ideal, with Duncan, Parker, and Ginobili (and Kawhi) thoroughly outplaying their Miami counterparts en route to a fifth and final championship.

4. Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, Draymond Green

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The Kevin Durant era in Golden State was undoubtedly the most dominant, but the 2015-2016 squad was by far the most fun. And we’re talking pure, unadulterated, delirious fun. It’s nearly impossible to overstate the impact Steph Curry had on the basketball world during those back-to-back MVP campaigns. He helped change the way we play and think about the game, cemented his status as the greatest shooter ever, and entertained the living hell out of us on a nightly basis with his ball-handling wizardry and the wild audacity of his shot-selection.

Much of this, of course, was facilitated by his running mates. Klay’s equally-deadly shooting and Draymond’s uncanny play-making abilities turned the Warriors into a finely-calibrated offensive machine. With Steph as its catalyst, the Warriors demoralized opponents with turbocharged scoring spurts that would make leads balloon from five to 20 points in a matter of minutes and erase double-digit deficits.

The result was a record-setting 73-win season, which of course ended in disappointment, giving us the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

3. LeBron James, Kevin Love, Kyrie Irving

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This particular Cavs trio isn’t defined so much by what they accomplished, but rather who they accomplished it against, and how. Overcoming a 3-1 series deficit is a monumental, once-in-a-generation achievement. Doing it against the greatest regular-season team in NBA history is the stuff of fantasy. And that miraculous 2016 title also had the rare effect of retroactively altering the perception of the Warriors’ championship the previous year, when LeBron and the Cavs were without both Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love because of injury.

There isn’t much more that needs to be said. This Cavs iteration made three straight Finals appearances and did the impossible in one of them. They also did it in the most dramatic way possible, with each member of their Big 3 logging a signature moment in Game 7 with the championship on the line, whether it was Love’s lockdown defense on Steph, LeBron’s reality-defying block on Andre Iguodala, or Kyrie’s ice-cold step-back three in Steph’s face to seal the title.

Perhaps most impressively, they helped LeBron deliver on his promise to bring the city of Cleveland its first championship in more than 50 years.

2. LeBron James, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade

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Okay, so maybe they didn’t win seven titles like LeBron predicted during that infamous introductory concert/ceremony. And maybe they got off to a rough start in their first year together when they came up short against the Dallas Mavericks in the 2011 Finals. And maybe that first title came against an OKC squad that was literally the youngest team ever to reach the Finals. Nevermind all that.

After their fiasco against the Mavs, it took some serious soul-searching, but the Big 3 Heat took that frustration and disappointment and embarked on a two-year rampage that yielded back-to-back titles and doubled as one of the most dominant stretches of LeBron’s career. That first championship in 2012 marked a long-awaited coronation for The King, who’d fallen short in his championship quest on so many prior occasions, and the following year also blessed us with an all-time great Finals series, an epic seven-game heart-stopper against the Spurs that featured — at the time — the greatest shot in Finals history, courtesy of Ray Allen and the ice water running through his veins.

But the real legacy of the Big 3 Heat is that it helped usher in the era of player empowerment. LeBron’s Decision — while still a sore spot for some — laid the blueprint for players to take agency over their futures and team up with other stars around the league, a trend that has, as this list might suggest, resulted in varying degrees of success.

1. Kevin Durant, Klay Thompson, Steph Curry

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Arguably the most dominant NBA trio ever assembled, the King Ghidorah (RIP DOOM) version of the Warriors owns the longest winning streak in postseason history with 15 consecutive victories and the best overall playoff record of 16-1. With a pair of former MVPs and two of the greatest shooters of all-time, Golden State was pure nightmare fuel for their opponents, and Kevin Durant was particularly deadly on his way to his first Finals MVP, averaging better than 30 points per game, the highest scoring mark since Shaq in the 2000 Finals.

Nobody even came close to testing them until Game 4 of the Finals, the Cavs’ lone victory in the series, which took a record-setting 86 first-half points and Herculean efforts from both LeBron and Kyrie. The following year was a different story, as the Houston Rockets pushed them to seven games behind James Harden and Chris Paul, but ultimately squandered that opportunity in an epic Game 7 collapse, during which they missed 27 straight three-pointers and closed their window for good.

The less said about the 2019 Finals, the better. Credit to the Toronto Raptors for carpe-ing the diem, but the Warriors were dealing with major injuries to two of their main stars, which proved too much to overcome. Still, that two-year stretch in Golden State stands as one of the most impressive runs by any Big 3 in league history.

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Taylor Swift Didn’t Even Wait To Finish ‘Evermore’ Before Starting To Re-Record ‘Fearless’

November 1, 2020 was a special day for Taylor Swift fans, as that was when she was legally allowed to start re-recording her old albums, the masters of which are owned by her former label, Big Machine. Taylor didn’t waste any time getting started, as she previously said weeks after that date that she was working on the recordings. It turns out that she was so eager to get going that she didn’t even wait until she was finished making Evermore to begin work on Fearless (Taylor’s Version).

In an interview with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe, Swift said:

“I was allowed to start re-recording my music in November. By then, we had a great deal of Evermore done. I had shot a music video for ‘Willow,’ but I was still writing and I was still recording. So there would be days where I’d be recording ‘You Belong With Me’ and then I’d be recording a song like ‘Happiness,’ which is on Evermore. And it made me feel really proud of sort of the scope of things. And looking back when I was a teenager and I would write about my troubles in high school and the drama and the pining away and all that stuff, that was all so valid to me at that time in my life. Just as much as Evermore is so valid to my happiness at this time in my life. So I’ve really felt very grateful lately for people giving me the ability to grow up creatively. And I know there have been snags and there have been times where people have been like, ‘I don’t like her.’ Several times. But for the most part, I feel a great amount of gratitude that I was able to make music from the time I was a teenager to the time that I’m 31.”

Watch a clip from the interview below.

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Elon Musk Told Joe Rogan That He Wants The Next Tesla Roadsters To Hover, ‘Without, You Know, Killing People’

Elon Musk is a touch eccentric. On top of wanting to shoot a movie in outer space with Tom Cruise, the entrepreneur has been busy of late nudging his way into the GameStop-Reddit saga and getting really into cryptocurrency. But now he has a new idea: hover cars!

Musk broke his latest harebrained scheme on the latest episode of The Joe Rogan Podcast (of course), in which he discussed the next generation of the Tesla Roadster, his company’s line of electric sports cars they debuted 13 years ago. He’s been developing its follow-up for years, initially promising it would simply be faster. But what if it could also sort of fly a bit?

“I want it to hover, and I was trying to figure out how to make this thing hover without, you know, killing people,” Musk told Rogan. “Maybe it can hover like a meter above the ground, or something like that. If you plummet it’ll blow out the suspension but you’re not gonna die.”

Ignoring, if you can, that promises like “you’re not gonna die” aren’t exactly reassuring, it’s not clear how serious Musk was about finding a way for cars to float a few feet off the ground. Besides, the second generation Tesla Roadster is scheduled for production next year. And since hovering technology hasn’t quite been conquered — the “hoverboards” currently on the market, um, have wheels — it may simply be Musk getting a little too loose on Rogan’s show. After all, it’s happened before.

(Via The Verge)

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‘The Mandalorian’s Katie Sackhoff Had Her Career Changed By Being Called Out By Her ‘Longmire’ Co-Star

Battlestar Galactica star Katee Sackhoff is currently riding high in her new role as Bo-Katan Kryze on Disney+’s The Mandalorian. She recently appeared on Michael Rosenbaum’s Inside of You podcast, where she geeked out about the role and expressed how excited she is to be in the Star Wars universe now.

In the interview, Sackhoff also promised to be “optimistic” every single day on the set of Star Wars series — which banished Gina Carano over “abhorrent” tweets this week — and to be the person who helps set a positive tone. However, Sackhoff admitted in the podcast, she was not always that person. She said she used to be the person who needed to be called out on set for her bad attitude.

In fact, that very thing happened, she explained, on the set of the first season of Longmire. “When I’m in a bad mood, I have a hard time hiding it,’ she told Rosenbaum. On the first season of Longmire, she was in a funk after having come off of Riddick, where they were doing a lot of night shoots. “I was exhausted, and I was doing a lot of early morning days, and it was cold, and I got sick.”

“And [her Longmire co-star] Bailey Chase and I would drive to work together about 60 miles every morning. I would complain all the time because I felt I was being underutilized on the show and I was disappointed, and … I just wanted to bitch about it all the time.”

She said she was also in a bad place in her life, in a bad relationship, and was “not a very happy person.”

Her co-star apparently had heard enough of her daily complaining and snapped. “[Bailey Chase] called me out in front of the entire crew one day … He screamed at me and said, ‘Be here! I am so tired of you!’ It was loud, and I always said it was the wrong time and the wrong place and I was always very angry that he did it that way.”

The two have since made up, but “it was not good for a while,” she said. Yet, while she was disappointed in the way that he did it, “it needed to happen.” Again, she would have preferred that he had called her out off set and away from the crew, “but he taught me one of the biggest lessons of my career. And I realized that I had a choice. I had to change my perspective, and I need to grow the eff up.”

“It woke me up, and it made me realize that the attitude I bring to set every day is the attitude that permeates the set. For better or worse, because I am so big and so loud, I have the ability to change the set. I can make it a positive place to be or a negative place to be.”

“I was wrong. I was very wrong, and I had to learn that lesson.”

Sackhoff has since vowed to become the person that “people wanted to work with twice.”

Sackhoff said that she did a complete 180 and that by the end of the series, all the producers expressed to her that they would love to work with her again. Purposefully. “I taught myself how to be happy, how to enjoy what I am doing daily … and I took that into another life. I wanted to be that person who showed up every day, worked harder than everyone else, and was always positive and motivating.”

Hopefully, wanting to continue working with Sackhoff and her positive attitude will one day get Bo-Katan Kryze her own Star Wars spin-off, as well. She sure as hell deserves one.

Source: Inside of You with Michael Rosenbaum

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Lil Uzi Vert Explains Why He Got That Pink Diamond Embedded In His Forehead

Rap fans have been fascinated with Lil Uzi Vert’s latest piercing for a week, probably because he’s the first person we know of to get a custom piercing in the middle of his forehead for a thumb-sized, million-dollar pink diamond. After the jeweler who designed it chimed in on when and how it was made, one of the major questions left on everyone’s minds was simply, “Why?”

Bronx, New York rap icon Fat Joe got the answer when he invited Lil Uzi Vert onto his Instagram Live podcast to give fans the rundown on the intriguing new facial modification. It turns out, Uzi’s rationale actually makes an off-kilter sort of sense. He’d already purchased the diamond before deciding what to do with it, but having shelled out such a hefty amount (he boasts $24 million, but the true number is probably a fraction of that), he naturally didn’t want to do anything mundane — and he certainly didn’t want to lose his investment.

“I’m Lil Uzi,” he declared. “I’m turnt up. So $24 million on a ring is the stupidest idea because I’m gonna look down and that ring ain’t gon’ be there. I know me. I wake up in odd places and different sceneries.” He also confirmed that his Eliantte & Co. connects did try to talk him out of it. “Don’t think it was just a ‘come on, let’s go get his money,’” he said. “No, bro, they argued me down. It’s almost insane to the average person, or to any person.”

All in all, the interview depicted Uzi as pretty self-aware and cognizant of his public perception. He addressed his wildcard reputation, talked about the so-called “27 Club” of artists who have died at that age, adamantly denying he had any intention of joining their ranks, and detailed his musical and business ambitions. It’s a fascinating interview that justifies the public’s fascination with him. Check it out below.

Lil Uzi Vert is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.