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Woman makes hilarious videos getting into ‘crazy brawls’ with her fierce cat

Licia and her cat Mega have a relationship that looks more like a “Tom and Jerry” cartoon than the average one you’d find between a human and feline. In a series of videos she’s posted to Instagram, Licia documents the knock-down, drag-out fights she has with her cat, who always seems to win.

Licia refers to herself in her bio as the “girl who got beat up by a cat.” She calls herself and Mega the “Toxic Duo” because they can never see eye-to-eye on anything and she is in constant terror in her own home.

Here, Mega grabs Licia and won’t let go. This cat’s prey instinct is off the charts.


Their bed has become like a WWE arena. One woman and one cat enter, one cat leaves.

Licia should know better than to approach Mega when he has the high ground.

The cat felt her face before going in for the slap. C’mon Licia, you saw it coming a mile away.

She’s running for her life in her own home.

Never, ever trust Mega.

All she was trying to do is have an adult conversation, but this beast doesn’t understand reason.

​Of course, Licia and Mega’s relationship isn’t always toxic. There are plenty of moments where the two show each other true love and affection.

We know that Licia and Mega are just playing it up for the cameras and that people should never fight with their pets. But it’s incredibly important for people to play with their cats every day.

Animal Planet’s Jackson Galaxy has some great tips for playing with your cat in the video below.

Just like every dog owner has a leash and a collar to take their dog for a walk, Galaxy says it’s essential for cat owners to have interactive toys for daily playtime if they want peace in their homes. He says the primordial cat instincts we’d find in a lion or a leopard still exist in house cats so it’s important that they are able to express them in a healthy way.

“Your cat wakes up in the morning [with] ‘hunt, catch, kill eat’ bubbling up in their system and there’s no out,” Galaxy says in the video above. That’s why your cat is ready to “blow up at the seams” when you try to relax at night.

His solution is to have an interactive toy that you control on one end, such as a wand with a feather, that helps your cat express its instincts to kill. “All cats will play because all cats will prey,” he says. But your job is to behave like your cat’s natural enemy to stimulate their natural instincts.

Galaxy says the most important thing is to follow the three Rs, “routine, ritual, and rhythm” and you will drastically improve your relationship with your cat.

If not, you may end up like Licia.

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Man returns to the ICU where he almost died of COVID-19 to apologize to healthcare workers

Throughout the pandemic, we’ve seen countless stories of patients in the ICU, terribly sick with COVID-19, still insisting that the virus isn’t real. Such stories of denial are frustrating, especially for healthcare workers who are doing their best to save people’s lives.

That’s why this story of a COVID patient returning to the hospital to thank—and apologize to—the medical staff who helped him offers a ray of hope that not all who are in denial will stay that way.

According to KOMO News, Richard Soliz hadn’t known anyone who had gotten sick from the coronavirus. He had also fallen prey to misinformation on social media about the vaccine, so had chosen not to get vaccinated. Then he fell ill in late August, spiked a fever and found it difficult to breathe.

“That’s when I really knew I was in a bad situation,” Soliz said. “That’s when I knew, hey, this is COVID. Man. I contracted the virus.”


Soliz told KOMO he was embarrassed when staff at Seattle’s Harborview Medical Center asked him if he was vaccinated. Pulmonologist and director of the ICU Dr. James Town told CNN that when Soliz was admitted, about 99 out of 100 COVID-19 patients at Harborview had not been vaccinated

Soliz ended up spending 28 days in the hospital. He was put on a ventilator and a heart monitor in the ICU and nearly didn’t make it.

“I am certain that there is truth to this virus, and not being vaccinated leaves you vulnerable to the extent of possibly really taking a person’s life,” Soliz said. “I personally know that, because I was not vaccinated. I did not act, I wasn’t certain, and I nearly lost my life.”

Soliz did make it, though. Then he did something that few unvaccinated COVID-19 survivors do. He went back to the hospital to thank the medical team that treated him—and apologize for not getting vaccinated.

“I was literally on my deathbed and hanging from a string, and [doctors and nurses] tended to me as perfect strangers,” Soliz told CNN. “I just had to say something.”

Soliz thanked Dr. Town and told him he deeply regretted not getting the vaccine.

“No one blames you or judges you,” Town responded. “Everyone is just happy that you are willing to share the story, I think. And happy that you’re better.”

Healthcare workers are heroes. Seriously.

“It’s emotional for us to see someone do well,” Town told KOMO News. “Particularly when things are so dark.”

Other staff members were moved by Soliz’s apology and gratitude.

“We do put so much of our own heart into the care and worry,” nurse Kimmy Siebens said. “We never really get to see people get that much better. And so it’s amazing. It makes it feel like it’s definitely all worth it, you know?”

Soliz has a message he wants everyone to hear:

“Please go get vaccinated because this virus is real. Real enough to take someone’s life (or) put you in the ICU.”

Though a majority of American adults have gotten vaccinated, misinformation about the vaccines has resulted in millions of people choosing to reject the COVID-19 vaccines. Public health experts have tried every which way to convey to the public that the No. 1 thing people can do to mitigate the effects of the pandemic and safely get back to normal is to get vaccinated. Vaccines make viral infection and transmission less likely, and drastically reduce the chances of hospitalization and death. It’s unfortunate that it may take more stories like Soliz’s to convince some people, but here we are.

Thank you, Richard Soliz, for acknowledging you made a mistake and for serving as a good example of humility and gratitude after your hospitalization.

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Port Cask Finished Bourbons Sure To Excite And Expand Your Whiskey Palate

Second maturations are huge in whiskey right now. That means that after the first barrelling, the whiskey goes back into a different barrel for a matter of days, months, or years. The allure of a second barrelling is found in the potential flavors imparted by barrels that recently held other spirits, wines, fortified wines, beer, or even spice extracts or honey.

Sherry is one of the most common vessels used in second barrellings, most often with Scotch whisky. And the principles that make that work aren’t too far off from a similar concept, which we’re focusing on today — port wine casks being used to finish bourbon. Not unlike sherry-finishing, bourbons that go into port wine barrels often feature flavors of dried fruits, ripe berries, and various fruity jam-like flavors (stewed cherry, etc). Like sherry, this technique adds to the overall sweetness without being cloying and works well with the spirit’s base flavors, creating a sublimely complex expression.

Below, you’ll find eight bottles of bourbon that completely encompass port cask-finished bourbon style and would be a welcome addition to any home bar cart. Click on the prices to give one of these a try for yourself!

Breckenridge Port Cask Finished Bourbon

Breckenridge

ABV: 45%

Average Price: $60

The Whiskey:

Breckenridge Distillery is well-known for its award-winning bourbon. The distillery decided to take this juice a little further and finished some in 59-gallon Tawny Port casks. The result is a sweeter, fruitier, spicy whiskey that you won’t soon forget.

Tasting Notes:

The nose is filled with aromas of dried cherries, butterscotch, vanilla beans, and a nice, gentle hit of spice. The palate is highlighted by notes of vanilla, caramelized sugar, dried fruits, toffee, and spicy cracked black pepper. This finish is a combination of sweetness and warming spice.

Bottom Line:

While we enjoy drinking port-aged whiskey any time of year, this expression has a nice mixture of fruity sweetness, creamy caramel, and slight spice that make it well-suited to the season.

Thomas S. Moore Port Cask Bourbon

Barton 1792

ABV: 49.45%

Average Price: $75

The Whiskey:

This whisky from The Barton 1792 Distillery starts with the brand’s high-rye bourbon that’s originally matured in new, charred American oak barrels before being finished between one to three years in port wine casks. The result is a truly unique, fruity, caramel-filled limited-edition expression.

Tasting Notes:

The nose is loaded with aromas of dried fruits, honey, robust port wine, and caramel. The palate unveils hints of port wine, baking spices, dried cherries, vanilla beans, toffee, and cinnamon sugar. It all ends with a nice, warming finish of spices, toffee, and dried berries.

Bottom Line:

This is a very well-rounded whiskey. It starts with caramel, vanilla, and cinnamon and moves into a nice, spicy, fruity finish.

Woodinville Port Finished Bourbon

Woodinville

ABV: 45%

Average Price: $52

The Whiskey:

Washington State’s Woodinville has gained a lot of fans in the last few years because of its award-winning whiskeys. One of its best is Woodinville Port Finished Bourbon. It begins with the distillery’s five-year-old aged bourbon that’s finished for an extra six months in ruby port barrels.

Tasting Notes:

A lot is going on with this whiskey’s aroma. There are myriad scents, including cherries, ripe berries, vanilla beans, wood char, and slight spice. The palate is loaded with flavors like oaky wood, caramel malts, ripe berries, and vanilla. The finish is dry, warming, and ends with a nice combination of fruit and spice.

Bottom Line:

This is a well-made bourbon that’s only ramped up by the addition of six months spent finishing in port barrels. It’s sweet, fruity, and warming. A great slow sipper on a cold night.

Isaac Bowman Port Barrel Finished Bourbon

Isaac Bowman

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $49

The Whiskey:

The award-winning Isaac Bowman Port Barrel-Fisnished bourbon is first aged in charred, American white oak casks. It’s then finished in port barrels (some from local wineries). The result is a whiskey with the caramel and vanilla highlights of a classic bourbon with the added fruitiness from the port.

Tasting Notes:

This whiskey has a very fruity nose with hints of berries, cherries, as well as caramel, and slight spices. Taking a sip, you’ll find notes of candied pecans, dried cherries, fudge, cinnamon, and baking spices. The finish is warming, sweet, and slightly spicy.

Bottom Line:

This award-winning bourbon is loaded with nutty sweetness, caramel, and a gentle fruit that makes it a complex, well-balanced whiskey for fall sipping.

Litchfield Batchers Port Cask Finished Bourbon

Litchfield

ABV: 50%

Average Price: $75

The Whiskey:

Litchfield took its award-winning straight bourbon and matured it for an extra year in casks that had previously held port wine. What you get is oaky, caramel flavors from the bourbon and ripe fruit and spices from the port wine.

Tasting Notes:

The nose is filled with hints of toffee, vanilla beans, cherries, and a nice, nutty sweetness. The palate is surprisingly spicy — with with cloves and cinnamon predominating. It also hits on notes of dried fruits, caramel candy, and wood char. It all ends in a dry, warming, sweet, slightly spicy finish.

Bottom Line:

While not as well known as many of the other brands on this list, if you can find a bottle, snatch it up. You’ll be glad to have a bottle of this unique expression when the holidays are finally upon us.

Angel’s Envy Bourbon

Angel

ABV: 43.3%

Average Price: $55

The Whiskey:

There is definitely no American port wine finished whiskeys more well known than Angel’s Envy. Its Angel’s Envy Kentucky Straight Bourbon gets its unique flavor from being finished in port wine casks between three and six months. This small-batch whiskey is popular among bartenders and whiskey aficionados alike.

Tasting Notes:

On the nose, you’ll find varied aromas including toasted marshmallows, maple candy, candied almonds, caramel, and holiday spices. The palate is piled high with chocolate fudge, buttery toffee, vanilla beans, candied orange peels, dried fruits, and a gentle hit of smoke.

Bottom Line:

There’s a reason this is one of the most popular bourbons on the market. It’s mellow and filled with a nutty sweetness, slight fruitiness, and just a hint of spice.

Chattanooga Tawny Port Cask Bourbon

Chattanooga

ABV: 47.5%

Average Price: $50

The Whiskey:

If you’ve never tried a whiskey from Chattanooga, now’s your chance. This non-chill filtered bourbon is finished for more than six months in Tawny port barrels. It’s produced in small batches of no more than six to seven barrels to guarantee a complex, nuanced final product.

Tasting Notes:

The nose begins with scents of dried berries, oaky wood, vanilla, and slight spice. The palate features notes of dried fruits, berry jam, charred oak, honey, and toffee. It all ends with pleasing heat and a sweet, fruity finish.

Bottom Line:

This whiskey is a tremendous combination of sweetness and oaky, caramel flavors. It’s complex, exciting, and perfectly suited for slow sipping neat or on the rocks.

TX Bourbon Whiskey Port Finish

TX Bourbon

ABV: 50.8%

Average Price: $65

The Whiskey:

While Garrison Brothers and Balcones get all the press when it comes to Texas whiskey, you definitely shouldn’t sleep on Firestone & Robertson. Its line of TX whiskeys is not to be missed. Its foray into the port finished world is its TX Bourbon Port Finish. First aged in new, charred American oak casks, it’s finished in barrels that formerly held Tawny port wine.

Tasting Notes:

The nose is highlighted by hints of dried cherries, caramel, cloves, cinnamon, vanilla. The palate has a nutty sweetness, toffee, baking spices, dried fruits, and butterscotch. It all ends with a warming, sweet, fruity finish that will leave you wanting more.

Bottom Line:

This is a great example of a bold bourbon that’s even more heightened by being finished in port casks. It’s fruity, nutty, and highly memorable.


As a Drizly affiliate, Uproxx may receive a commission pursuant to certain items on this list.

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A ‘Morning Joe’ Panelist Thinks Trump Getting Banned From Twitter Was An Election Godsend To Republicans

Today marks a year since Election Day 2020, which put then-president Donald Trump on a collision course towards, among other calamities, getting booted off Twitter and other such services. His, shall we say, erratic behavior became too much for social media overlords, forcing him to subsist on a quickly failed blog and, now, the occasional un-copy edited “press release.” (That’s to say nothing of his already beleaguered social media service.) But was booting him a good idea? Did perhaps silencing the GOP’s top dog make it easier for people to re-embrace the Republican party? That’s what one journalist thinks.

As per The Wrap, the AP’s Jonathan Lemire went on Morning Joe, hosted by conservative (but anti-Trumpist) Joe Scarborough, Wednesday morning. He was there to weigh in on the previous day’s election, which saw a number of Republicans making big gains. Among them was Glenn Younkin, who trounced Democratic incumbent Terry McAuliffe in Virginia’s gubernatorial race. And Lemire believes he won because Trump wasn’t constantly building him up on social media.

“As much as Trump looms, Democrats believe, as an existential threat to the democracy, we will see in 2024 that it was too much,” Lemire opined. “Voters were turned off. They didn’t buy the argument that Youngkin was Trump and Youngkin did a good job of keeping Trump at arm’s length. I was talking to a Republican strategist last night who said the best thing that can happen to any Republican who is paid to win an election, certainly in a moderate or swing district, is that Donald Trump is off Twitter.”

Lemire pointed out that the former president “doesn’t dominate the conversation like he used to” adding, “if you can keep him off stage, even a little, that can be a playbook for 2022 and beyond.”

Of course, Trump wouldn’t like to hear this. He’s still considered the head of the GOP, and he almost certainly plans to run again in 2024. (Unless, you know, he’s in jail.) But perhaps Lemire is right and not having Trump bloviate about everything from world politics to Kristen Stewart’s love life was ultimately good for Republicans, bad for Democrats.

(Via The Wrap)

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‘Alvin And The Chipmunks’ Owner Is Looking To Sell The Franchise For $300 Million

Looks like Dave’s has enough of Alvin, Simon, Theodore, and their wild antics because The Chipmunks are up for sale. Okay, okay, not really. But it does turn out Bagdasarian Productions, the current owner of the Alvin and the Chipmunks property, is looking to sell off the franchise for quite the pretty penny.

According to CNBC sources close to Bagdasarian, the production company is currently seeking $300 million for ownership of the three, furry friends. Considering just how hot a commodity pre-existing IPs are in the age of streaming services and cinematic universes (I mean, even Hasbro wants one), the steep asking price actually seems about right, and several interested parties are reportedly already in talks with Bagdasarian, including ViacomCBS.

While the negotiations have been kept private, it feels pretty dang safe to assume there are also a number of other potential buyers that might be on the prowl for the classic children’s franchise. Recently, Netflix has made a huge push towards increasing the amount of children’s content on their streaming service, purchasing the entire catalog of Roald Dahl (James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) for $700 million back in September. Other steamers, such as CBS’s Paramount+ and WarnerMedia’s HBO Max, could be looking to make a similar move — and Alvin and the Chipmunks might not be a bad place to start. In addition, some private equity firms, such as Carlyle, Providence Equity, Apollo Global and Blackstone, have reportedly also expressed interest in acquiring the IP.

Created by Ross Bagdasarian Sr. in 1958, Alvin and the Chipmunks was originally intended as a musical act featuring three animated chipmunks — Alvin, Simon and Theodore — singing with sped-up voices. However, the trio of critters soon became so popular, a TV show and several movies (both animated and live action) were created to quite a bit of success. Most recently there was the 2007 film Alvin and the Chipmunks and its sequels, which still haunt cast member David Cross to this day.

Time to brace yourself if you hate ‘em or celebrate if you simply can’t get enough of the lil’ guys in your life — we could soon see Alvin and friends make a pretty big return sometime soon.

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Aminé Announces The Surprise New Project ‘TwoPointFive’ Out This Week

Aminé came to the rescue this past weekend at Outside Lands Festival in San Francisco when Young Thug had to cancel his set. The Portland rapper hopped on a plane on short notice and took the festival’s main stage on Saturday afternoon. Turns out, it was a win-win for him, because he had something to start promoting, and it wasn’t just the video for his first song of the year, “Charmander,” that he dropped last week.

Today, Aminé made a surprise announcement that his next project, TWOPOINTFIVE, will be coming out this Friday. The 12 track release follows 2018’s ONEPOINTFIVE tape and the excellent 2020 album Limbo. Like the drum and bass-inflected production of “Charmander” insinuated, TWOPOINTFIVE is a pointed exploration of dance music rhythms over his smirky and smart lyrics. Aminé shared some thoughts on the sentiment behind the release in a statement:

“The POINTFIVE projects are the breaks in between albums where I give myself the freedom to make music without expectations, focusing instead on spontaneity and the best of what comes from stream of conscious creation, which is why they arrive unexpectedly without a long rollout. It’s an opportunity to create for my day one fans the way I used to in my bedroom. Thanks for listening.”

TWOPOINTFIVE is out 11/4 via CLBN. Pre-order it here.

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What’s On Tonight: ‘The Harder They Fall’ Brings An All-Star Cast To A Netflix Western

The Harder They Fall (Netflix film) — Idris Elba, Regina King, Zazie Beez, Jonathan Majors, Zazie Beetz, LaKeith Stanfield, and more join forces in this Western that’s also playing in selected theaters. The story involves the coldest revenge possible, which is the goal of outlaw Nat Love (Majors) upon Rufus Buck (Elba), who only wants to enjoy life after prison. Yet enemies will do their thing, so expect Elba to gather his crew (played by King and Stanfield), who don’t do the losing thing well.

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow (CW, 8:00pm) — The Legends descend upon the Windy City (Chicago!), where they visit a speakeasy and inadvertently irritate a mob who decides to wield fire.

Batwoman (CW, 9:00pm) — The “30 Under 30” list includes Ryan, which makes Luke fret over Ryan’s popularity and Marquis’ involvement, along with how all of this will impact Wayne Enterprises.

The Wonder Years (ABC, 8:30pm) — This reimagining adopts a different perspective (from the Fred Savage-starring original show) with the focus on an African-American family and their home base in 1960s Montgomery, Alabama. Don Cheadle narrates the usual tween ordeals and also the experience of being part of a Southern Black family. This week, Kim’s gunning for a car while grandpa’s probably no longer driving, so that’s pretty convenient.

The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon — Kristen Stewart, Joyelle Nicole Johnson

Late Night With Seth Meyers — Dan Levy, Rüfüs Du Sol

In case you missed these recent Wednesday streaming picks:

Dopesick: Season 1 (Hulu series) — Michael Keaton (who is still the greatest Batman in history, so don’t mess with him in any role) finally comes to TV beyond cameo mode. Here, he takes on Big Pharma as a physician whose patients are dying off amid an opioid epidemic, and Rosario Dawson portrays one of the heroes who want to take the makers of Oxycontin down. The title of the source material (Dopesick: Dealers, Doctors and the Drug Company that Addicted America, the book by Beth Macy) tells you a lot, but this trailer promises an intense ride, and the cast includes Michael Stuhlbarg and Kaitlyn Dever, who’s all over TV now and making Justified‘s Loretta proud here.

Hypnotic (Netflix film) — When a young woman decides to aim for self-improvement, she visits a widely-respected hypnotist, and everything soon goes wrong. Intense sessions and deadly consequences are afoot, all after her own personal trauma. Will she ever recover, even with the help of a detective who can help her solve a mystery that apparently erupted from her consciousness after being buried for so long? The spooky season continues.

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Netflix Will Launch Its First-Ever ‘Stranger Things’ Pop-Up Stores In New York and L.A.

Despite not getting a new season of Stranger Things this year, all-in-all it hasn’t been too shabby of a time to be a fan of the hit Netflix original series. The showrunners have dropped hints that an extended universe is on the way, more merchandise than ever before is coming, both Stranger Things: 1984 and Stranger Things 3: The Game are now available to play on Android devices, and, for some lucky fans, something even cooler is headed their way this weekend.

On November 6, Stranger Things enthusiasts living in New York City and Los Angeles will get the chance to drop by the series’ first-ever pop-up shops located in Times Square and The Americana at Brand respectively. According to Variety, both stores will be completely decked out with Stranger Things-inspired décor, creating an immersive experience for shoppers and providing fans with plenty of exclusive photo opportunities. Even better, the store will also be selling some seriously cool-sounding limited-time merchandise.

Among the merchandise being sold at the pop-up stores are General Mills Stranger Things cereal, which comes packaged in 1980s-style boxes, and a line of collectible Bandai action figures featuring 16-inch demogorgons with interchangeable heads. There will also be an exclusive “Elegorgon” vinyl piece for sale, which features Ecuadorian artist Chogrin’s rendition of what “an Eggo waffle eating tween would look like if mashed up with a demogorgon.” The stores will also have customizable apparel stations and “much more.”

While fans shop, they will also get the chance to partake in a series of exclusive photo moments, including getting up close and personal with a demogorgon in the Upside Down, attending Hawkins Middle’s Snowball Dance, and hitting up iconic locations, such as the Starcourt Mall, the Russian Lab, and Joyce’s House. Last but certainly not least, there will also be arcade games available to play at a replica of Stranger Thing‘s Palace Arcade.

For a first look at the interactive pop-up stores, you can visit People’s exclusive report.

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‘Modern Family’ Star Sofia Vergara Will Play The Notorious Real-Life ‘Queen Of Cocaine’ In A New Netflix Series

Netflix is dipping its nose back into the Miami drug trade, and Sofia Vergara is coming along for the trip. The Modern Family star has signed onto Griselda, a six-episode limited series based on the real-life lady drug lord Griselda Blanco. The queenpin was previously featured in the Cocaine Cowboys documentary series, but now, she’s getting the full Hollywood treatment from several key members of the Narcos team who will help Vergara bring Blanco’s tale to the streaming service. Via Variety:

“Griselda Blanco was a larger-than-life character whose ruthless but ingenious tactics allowed her to rule a billion dollar empire years before many of the most notorious male kingpins we know so much about,” Vergara said. “We are thrilled to have found the perfect partners in Eric, Andrés and Netflix to help us bring this story of her life to the screen.”

Dubbed the “Queen of Cocaine,” Blanco was gunned down in the streets of Columbia in 2012 after serving nearly two decades in prison. According to CNN, she was known as the “godmother” while coming up in the Miami drug trade during the 70s and 80s where she reportedly moved “multi-ton shipments of cocaine” and organized “countless murders.”

“If she was not one of the most prolific traffickers in the Miami area, she clearly was one of the most violent. We’ve got her, conservatively, estimating her to be involved in at least 40 homicides between Miami, Queens and Broward County,” Sergeant Al Singleton of the Miami-Dade PD said during Blanco’s 1994 trial.

Is that a lot of murders? Because that seems like a lot of murders. Why can’t the Florida drug trade stick to what makes it so special? And by that we mean speedboats. Wicked awesome speedboats. Man, they’re so rad.

(Via Variety)

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Examining The Most Messed Up Things The Roys Have Said On ‘Succession’

The Roys do not talk like a normal family.

Woefully incapable of expressing or even experiencing many human emotions, they are completely detached from reality. Instead of checking in with each other or reaching out when someone is struggling as a normal family might, their conversations are heavily laced with dismissive asides and wild profanity. The words “F*ck off” might well be on the Roy family crest.

Much of the iconic lingo from Succession is absolutely hilarious. The show is a comedy; I will die on this hill. And the hilarity stems from the fact that the Roys have absolutely no clue how to act like regular people.

Often, the characters on Succession will find themselves in situations where they have zero self-awareness beyond what’s acceptable within their billionaire social tier (read: everything). They can murder people, cover up massive sexual assault, and bully… well, everyone, but there’s no way they could make small talk with a barista at Starbucks. Ok, maybe Greg could manage it, but not before bumbling all over the place and mentioning his love for CPK eight thousand times.

Below is a list of some of the most bonkers (and fascinating) things that the Waystar/Royco fam has said throughout the course of the series so far.

All the Nicknames

The four Roy kiddos have some very curious nicknames. Kendall is “Ken,” Roman is “Rome” or “Romulus,” Connor is “Con.” and Siobahn is “Shiv” or “Pinky.” Kendall’s nickname seems innocent enough, but there’s been speculation on Reddit over whether or not it relates to a plastic Ken doll or an accessory to a flashier main attraction. Shiv’s nickname makes sense, mostly because she will absolutely shiv your good name and intentions if given the opportunity, but also because Siobahn is one nightmare of a name. Her dad calls her Pinky, obviously undermining any sort of power or status that she has within the family.

Of course, Connor turns into Con because even though he initially seemed sweet and unassuming, he will do pretty much anything to give himself a leg up. Will this dude actually become president by the time the series is over? Tune in to find out.

Last but not least, Roman also has two nicknames. He’s “Rome,” which connotes the obvious comparisons to the fall of Rome or Rome burning. But to his dad, Logan, he’s also often “Romulus,” which also has all sorts of devastating historical connotations (including some about fatally quarreling brothers). Why a man would name his son after a mythical failed emperor of Rome is beyond me, but again, the Roys aren’t really thinking things through like the rest of us.

Literally, Most Anything That Comes Out of Tom’s Mouth

Tom is not a Roy by blood, but he does say super quotable things on the reg. In the first three episodes of season 3 alone, he has already uttered the whimsical phrases “balanced love portfolio,” “King Potato,” and “clonk the trout on the head and put it in your pouch.” Tom is also the author of the classic line “you can’t make a Tomlette without cracking some Greggs,” although this statement was revealed in a Congressional hearing, not from the Tomlette himself.

Mr. Wambsgans was surely always a verbose dude, but his proximity to the Roys has clearly given him the green light to let his freak thesaurus flag fly. And we are very thankful.

No Real Person Involved

Basically, anyone with a total net worth south of ten figures doesn’t register as a person to the people in the Waystar/Royco orbit.

This term was introduced on the show when the Cruises scandal broke — if a worker with no real recourse was involved in a violent act, they were considered NRPI — but there’s evidence of this throughout the entire show. Roman is roundly dismissive of people beneath his social status, even going so far as to be casually cruel to them for his own enjoyment. In season 2, Logan tries to comfort Kendall by emphasizing that the busboy that died in the accident with him was not a real person. This mindset might not be funny, exactly, but the idea that the Roy family can just write anyone off as “not a person” whenever it suits them is absolutely ridiculous.

Greg Sprinkles

Even though Greg is family, he also doesn’t really count as an actual person. So, when the Roy team convenes on a yacht to decide who’s on the chopping block for Cruises (also just a really, very funny choice of venue), Roman suggests that Greg sprinkles would be a great topper to any person sitting at the table. It’s nice that Greg the Egg got upgraded from egg to colorful sprinkles, but he can only become a real boy in the eyes of the Roys family by earning his first billion.

Thank You For the Chicken

As he executes a power move for the ages, Tom Wambsgans illustrates why he’s one of the low-key most hysterical people on Succession. In the midst of deciding who will take the fall for the Cruises scandal, Tom dares to snatch a piece of chicken off of Logan’s plate, slam it down in a few caveman-like bites, and then thank him, mouth full of half-masticated poultry. It was a moment that even shocked the unflappable Logan, and delighted us all in demonstrating how too much exposure to the Roy family can scramble a seemingly normal brain.

Slime Puppy

No kink-shaming here, but the string of insults that Gerri gleefully lobs at Roman while he pleasures himself in her bathroom is not necessarily something one hears in the course of a regular day. The iconic “slime puppy” comment is even more wonderful given that actress J. Smith Cameron improved it on the spot.

L to the OG

There’s really no explanation for this surreal performance other than Kendall’s malfunctioning billionaire brain. His lengthy rap, ostensibly celebrating his father, was a display that reached cringe-comedy heights only matched by HBO sibling show Curb Your Enthusiasm. It was also one of the most memeable moments of 2019.

Sinister Donuts

When Logan sends his kids a dozen gourmet donuts in season 3 during a supposedly secret meet-up between the siblings, there is a TON of discussion over whether or not the treats are safe to eat. Logan adds a simple message: “Have a nice tea party.” This dismissive yet knowing statement not only infantilizes his kids and undermines their autonomy, but it also sends a not-so-subtle threat at the same time. Even Homer Simpson would be appalled.

Boar on the Floor

One of the most yikes moments from the entire series, the boar on the floor is a game in which the only rule is that Logan Roy makes the rules. Watching grown men scramble on the floor for a cold sausage isn’t Squid Game-level horrifying, but it’s close. The difference here is that the cringe factor tips the scales so far into absurd territory that it circles back to being a comedy. Feel free to use “Boar on the Floor” in your everyday vocab to discuss people who go to insane lengths just to stoke the fires of capitalism.

We Hear For You

Again, Tom is the funniest. Tom and Greg? Total comedy gold. When it’s revealed that ATN is actually listening to viewers through their set-top boxes, Tom has to scramble to change his carefully workshopped catchphrase, “We’re listening.”

Short on time, Tom enlists Greg to help brainstorm a new tagline for the network. The two bandy some ideas about and quickly settle on “We Hear For You,” which is just the most wonderful nonsense. It feels like two middle school kids dug into their dad’s weed stash and then came up with a half-baked slogan for a class president campaign. And it’s utterly hilarious.

The thing about the Roy family is that they’re not hearing anything in any meaningful way. They’re just moving through life in egocentric bubbles, completely oblivious to almost everything around them except the perpetual power struggle that marks their existence. But, at the end of the day, they are still a warped family, and families do talk in shorthand. And we’re very lucky that we get to be in on the joke.