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‘I got shamed by a credit card machine’: Exasperated woman can’t handle tipping culture

Over the past few years, tipping culture has gotten out of control in America. It used to be you tipped around 15% to 20% if you sat down and ate at a restaurant. Now, the credit card machine prompts people to leave a tip when buying a cup of coffee, slice of pizza or an ice cream cone.

Even exterminators are asking for tips these days.

Charlotte Muller (@breathe_strength on TikTok) shared a video recently where she claims that she was tip-shamed by a card reader while purchasing an overpriced smoothie. What made things worse was that the card reader asked her for a 20% tip. Now, the $10 smoothie becomes a $12 smoothie.


The video must have resonated with people because it has received over 1.7 million views in just two days.

@breathe_strength

HAS THIS HAPPENED TO ANYONE ELSE #tipping #tippingculture

“But I’m literally paying … top dollar for this smoothie, so I click, ‘No tip.’ Then an alert comes up on the credit card machine all in caps, it says, ‘BAD TIP.’ When I tell you, I stood there and waited for my smoothie, embarrassed. I literally got shamed from a credit card machine,” she shared.

Most people feel a little guilty when they don’t tip, even when it’s inappropriate to ask for one. But then for the card reader to add to that by shaming the customer is tipping culture run amok.

How about business owners pay their workers enough so their customers don’t have to subsidize them? That would solve a lot of point-of-sale embarrassment for people on both sides of the transaction.

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Adorable video shows dog refusing to leave neighbor’s pool after sneaking in for a swim

Sometimes you just want to go for a dip, especially with how uncomfortably hot it can get in summer. Unfortunately, not everyone has a pool in their backyard, and for most, that would be the end of the idea—but not for a dog named Zepp.

Zepp decided that he wanted to go for a swim, but since there was no pool in his yard, he plopped over the fence into his neighbor’s yard to splash around theirs. His owner saw Zepp’s extracurricular activity on her security cameras and decided to share on social media.

The video posted to her TikTok account, Errieting, shows the Golden Retriever climbing and sort of flopping over the fence to get to the neighbor’s pool. Once on the other side of the fence, Zepp went for a swim, but things got amusing when the doggy-paddling pup refused to leave the water.


Zepp’s owner filmed herself trying to get the dog out of the pool, and as soon as she got close enough to grab his collar, he swam away. At one point, he looked like he was mimicking a human by sitting up and using his front paws to splash as if taunting his mom.

@errieting

escaping into the neighbors pool #dog #goldenretriever #fyp #michaelphelps

Clearly, Zepp had no interest in leaving the pool, and now that he knows he can get over the fence, he will likely make unscheduled visits to the neighbors. So instead of fighting the inevitable, Zepp’s mom and the neighbors worked together to do a POV video of Zepp sneaking in for a swim from the neighbor’s angle. It’s an adorable must-see below.

@errieting

THE NEIGHBOR’S POV… you asked, we listened. #fyp #comedy #funny #goldenretriever #puppy #dogsoftiktok #dog #funnyanimals #funnydog

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Video does a perfect job of showing how American English sounds to non-English speakers

If you are a native English speaker, it is probably hard to imagine what people who don’t speak the language hear when you are talking. “Skwerl,” a short film by Karl Eccleston and Brian Fairbairn, attempts to demonstrate what English sounds like to people who don’t speak the language.

The film was created in 2011 for Kino Sydney, “a monthly open-mic night for filmmakers” based in Sydney, Australia. Since being posted to YouTube 12 years ago, it has received over 52 million views.


The short film stars Eccleston and Australian actress Fiona Pepper as a couple whose special evening is disrupted when underlying relationship tensions creep up.

Warning: Strong language

Here’s a sample of the script:

THE MAN

So I ran to yourk around the wash today.

THE WOMAN

Oh?

THE MAN

Yeah. That doll’s areen blunderface. Can berave that mory alpen john. Joo flan by the long blatt call?

THE WOMAN

Yeah. I coon by the mex areen. Oh you bleed that pribadium by the ronfort line today?

The video received some thoughtful reactions in the comments section. The SkyWolfie6655 summed it up perfectly: “As an English speaker, it feels like I SHOULD be understanding this and I’m just not, like I’ve heard them wrong or something, this is really well done.”

The film also connected with people who learned English as a second language. “Man, that’s exactly what I used to hear when I was younger, before learning English properly. This is actually quite nostalgic,” another wrote.

The video also is an excellent example of what people with a disability may hear even if they speak the language. “This is kind of what it feels like to have auditory processing disorder,” HorseFace1044 wrote. “It’s super frustrating because you can almost get what the person is saying, but not quite enough to understand what in the world they are talking about.”

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Man tells other dads to stop asking their wives one ‘frustrating’ question and to do this instead

Many dads out there have the best of intentions when it comes to supporting their wives. However, those intentions can get easily turned askew with a single question:

“Is there anything I can do?”

Most likely any mom or default parent reading this sentence is instantly triggered by a time when they were asked this less-than-helpful question, which actually does little to take any load off.

And any dad or secondary parent has equally unsavory memories of asking this question and being met with a look of disdain from their partner. So fun.


One dad (@dadwise.co) has some advice: stop asking that question.

Instead, he suggests dads should “look around the house, analyze the situation, and then just tackle the first thing that seems to be interfering with the peace of the household.” For him, it’s usually tending to their toddler.

He adds that stopping your wife from what she’s doing and forcing her to delegate tasks just adds more responsibility for her. Really, the actual solution is much simpler.

“Just look around. See what needs to be done.”

Goodness. What glorious words.

@dadwise.co Dads stop doimg this. Take initiative and ownership over your household and SEE what needs to be done instead of asking #fatherhood #dadlife #extremeownership #parenting ♬ original sound – dadwise.co

“If there’s dishes in the sink, do the dishes. If the kids are being crazy, take them outside and run them around. If the floor needs to be swept, sweep the floor. If the dinner needs to be made, make the dinner,” is his take.

He concluded by saying “Look around. Use your eyes. Look alive, dads. Participate. As best you know how, to the best of your abilities.”

Having to take on invisible labor—both mentally and emotionally—without support is a source of frustration for many women, and it only becomes more exhausting as they also have to juggle actual jobs and other outside responsibilities. More and more wives have grown so exasperated that they’re either publicly calling out their partners, or even going so far as divorcing them.

So, unsurprisingly, @dadwise.co’s video received a LOT of comments from women who felt so seen…if not a little angry.

“Keep telling him many times but ‘he’s a man we don’t think the same’ YOU’RE 30. YOU HAD YOUR OWN HOUSE BEFORE WE MET,” one person wrote.

Another lamented, “My husband doesn’t even ask if I need help. Just watches me suffer while I do EVERYTHING. It’s so draining 😭”

Other women noted how surprisingly groundbreaking his point of view actually was.

“This would take care of every argument we’ve had,” one person wrote

“This thinking will literally save your marriage,” seconded another

Hopefully, this video is also showing up on more than just worn-out women’s FYPs on TikTok. It’s a very doable mindset shift that could clearly pay dividends.

And @dadwise.co is clearly not the only husband who thinks this way. The fact that more and more men out there are noticing how to make partnerships more equitable is definitely worth celebrating.

If you’d like to follow along on more of @dadwise.co’s tips, click here.

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10 things that made us smile this week

Hey, all!

It’s 10 things time! Every week, we pull together a collection of heartwarming, wholesome and hilarious content to give us all a boost of serotonin and faith in humanity. Some of these smileworthy finds are light and silly and some are deeply touching, but they’re all reminders of the good that’s all around us.

We hope this roundup of joy hits your heart in all the right places. (Don’t forget to pass it along—joy is meant to be shared!)


1. A good reminder that love is quiet, but oh so powerful

Just a lovely description of how love looks all kinds of ways, and we see it everywhere when we look for it.

2. Young librarian shares heartwarming story of an encounter between three kids and three grown-ups

YES. Library kids will change the world! Read the full story here.

3. Mom draws her son a picture on the fridge every night and it’s a win-win

First of all, what even is that refrigerator? I want a draw-on fridge now. And secondly, love that she gets as much out of this tradition as her son does. Those are the ones that stick.

4. Husband’s explanation of his wife’s ‘true beauty’ is winning hearts all over the place

@chrissyjpowers

Sunday Sermon: How the patriarchy makes women question their beauty and then makes money of their insecurities. #realbeauty #aginggracefully #embracingaging #consciousrelationships

Yep, he’s a keeper. Read the full story here.

5. Woman asks for a mental health day and her managers exemplify workplace support

This is what caring for your employees looks like. “We got you.” Love it.

6. Dad reserved a room for him and his ‘kid’ and the hotel hilariously delivered

@lifewithacole

Kindersley Quality Inn and Suites out did theirselves! This is the funniest things I have seen on the road from a hotel crew! #fyp #canadatiktok #canada #alberta #edmonton #kindersley #saskatoon #saskatchewan #lovinglife #livingmybestlife #hotel #qualityinnandsuites #funny #funnymoments #prank

Nobody’s too old for a bed fort and a teddy bear. Nobody.

7. Grandpa-in-a-kid’s-body enjoys his cup of tea and a good book at 6:30 a.m.

He’s already got retirement figured out. Go, little fella, go.

8. Doggo with anxiety calms right down when her owners sing the ‘so brave’ song

@macrosbymel

sorry if it gets stuck in your head #rue #ruetok #ruetherescue #dogtok #rescuedog

And now the song has become an anthem for both dogs and hoomans everywhere. See how people are repurposing the jingle for themselves here.

9. Teacher shares the sweet reason his student always rubbed his necklace when he talked to people

Such selfless compassion in a sixth grader. These kids are alright. Read the full story here.

10. Dance your way through the weekend with all the energy of high-waisted pants guy

@djjazzyd

Friday is here #Friday #fridaynightfunkin #djjazzyd50thbirthday

Hike up the pantaloons and move those feet, friends!

Hope you enjoyed this week’s roundup! If you’d like to see more posts like this without having to search for them, sign up for our free newsletter, The Upworthiest, here.

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How humans and monkeys are triggered by jealously in the same way.

The monkey had a busy morning, but it was finally time to go home.

He was a small creature, about the size of a rabbit, with a long prehensile tail and dusky red fur. Earlier that day, scientists had scooped him up from his cage and taken him away to get a shot. But now that was done, and just like for many of us, heading home meant that he’d finally get to rest and hang out with his mate.

This time, though, his scientist colleagues weren’t done with him. In fact, our monkey was being set up for an incredible betrayal.


As the copper titi monkey settled in, he spotted his mate — not at home, but in the cage of a romantic rival. Suddenly, circuits deep in his brain came to life. He arched his back and smacked his lips, his tail lashing wildly back and forth.

If he could have gotten over to that cage, he’d have pulled his mate away in an instant, shouted, maybe even fought off the rival.

If you think the monkey’s reaction seems a lot like human jealousy, you’re probably right. The entire setup was part of an experiment by Nicole Maninger and Karen Bales of the University of California to figure out where jealousy lives in the brain and how it works.

When they looked at the jilted monkey’s brain, two areas in particular lit up.

An MRI and blood draw afterward gave Maninger and Bales a peek at the animal’s brain, and in addition to higher testosterone and stress hormones, two more areas deep within his brain were triggered. The first, the cingulate cortex, has a lot to do with social rejection. The second, the lateral septum, is connected to bonding.

Put together, these areas of the brain appear to show us what Victorian novels, romantic comedies, and reality TV shows have long suspected: Jealousy is intimately tied to monogamy.

Monogamy is interesting because it’s actually very rare in the animal kingdom. Fewer than 1 in 10 mammal species mate and bond with a single individual. Even humans aren’t strictly monogamous. But we do form uniquely strong, lasting bonds between individuals.

What the research hints at, says Bales, is that the pain of jealousy might actually be one of the reasons monogamous animals bond so strongly to each other. This might even confer an evolutionary advantage, since monogamous male monkeys help raise and feed their kids.

So that tail-lashing, lip-smacking monkey might just help us understand ourselves.

“Understanding the neurobiology and evolution of emotions can help us understand our own emotions and their consequences,” says Bales.

It could even help us recognize how our brains form romantic relationships — and what happens when those relationships go terribly wrong. About 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men are victims of intimate partner violence in their lifetimes, and research has hinted that jealousy might play a major role.

Human emotions are incredibly complicated, of course, and we shouldn’t suggest that monkeys experience the exact same feelings we do. Titi monkeys have very different lives, societies, and evolutionary histories than people do.

Still, Bales says that we have seen hints of similar brain activity in human studies.

As anyone who’s ever felt it knows, jealousy can be an intensely dark, powerful emotion. The next time you feel it, maybe you can take some comfort knowing just what is going on in your brain.

Maninger and Bales’ work was published in the journal Frontiers in Ecology and Evolution.

This article originally appeared on 10.19.17

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A wholesome handful of Lin-Manuel Miranda tweets that are literal rays of sunshine

Lin-Manuel Miranda is a ray of light in a world that can sometimes (OK, often) feel like it’s shrouded in darkness.

The award-winning multi-hyphenate — He sings! He acts! He writes! He directs! He inspires you to do better while reminding you that you’re good enough! — is always there to wish you a good morning and a good night.


Miranda uses his tweets to share inspiration, kindness, and encouragement to the masses.

If you haven’t heard of the person, let me introduce you to some good vibes and positive mojo.

It’s nice to wake up to a message designed to help you feel better. He encourages us to put aside those unproductive thoughts and get into a good day.

Having a restless night? Miranda will inspire you to dream big as you sleep — and then turn those dreams into reality upon waking.

He always wants you to be yourself.

And to be kind to yourself.

He helps us remember to recognize that anxiety, sadness, and difficult feelings are normal and valid.

He reminds us to work hard, never give up, and recognize how far we’ve come.

He knows the value of taking a break to enjoy life …

… investing time in others …

… and supporting causes that matter.

He recognizes that life can be fleeting …

… and that the world is full of possibilities!

Remember that no matter how it feels, you’re never ever alone.

You are loved. You matter.

You know what? Sometime you just need to hear that.

And if you need to hear it on a daily basis (probably! I do!), you’re going to want to follow Lin-Manuel Miranda on Twitter. It’ll make your morning, post-lunch slump, and night.

This article originally appeared on 06.08.18

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A lesser known, but moving story about Albert Einstein that has nothing to do with science

These days, the name Albert Einstein is basically a synonym for “genius.”

Einstein’s theory of relativity is one of the cornerstones of modern physics and his predictions continue to be confirmed today, even over a hundred years later. That’s not to mention his famous E=mc2 equation and the nuclear weapons it eventually helped spawn (which Einstein came to deeply regret).

He could even be pretty wise at times. A note scrawled with a piece of advice — “A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.” — recently sold for $1.56 million.


But there’s a different reason Einstein was amazing that many people might not realize: He was also a fervent civil rights activist.

Though his life ultimately came to be full of fame and fortune, Einstein wasn’t a stranger to prejudice.

Einstein was Jewish, living in Germany as Hitler rose to power. Einstein despaired over the Nazi’s anti-Semitism and became an outspoken critic of the Nazi party, which only drew more attacks against him. Major newspapers published attack pieces against him. His house was raided while he was away. He even appeared on a pamphlet list of the enemies of Nazi Germany. The caption below his picture read, “Not Yet Hanged.”

The harassment would ultimately prove to be too much. In 1933, Einstein abandoned his home and job at the Prussian Academy and sailed to the United States, stating: “I shall live in a land where political freedom, tolerance, and equality of all citizens reign.”

Though the United States proved to be a haven for Einstein for the rest of his life, he must have been disappointed to see his newly adopted country fail to live up to the promise of equality.

At the time, the United States was still deeply segregated and Jim Crow laws severely restricted the rights of black Americans. Even Princeton, the college that’d become Einstein’s workplace, wouldn’t admit black students. Einstein could see the parallels, and, just as he refused to be quiet in Germany, so too in the United States.

Over the next decades, Einstein would become a staunch defender and ally of both the civil rights movement and the men and women who fueled it.

When opera star Marian Anderson was denied a hotel room because of her skin color, Einstein opened his house to her. He worked with actor and singer Paul Robeson on the American Crusade Against Lynching and invited him to perform at Princeton when the singer was blacklisted. He publicly encouraged the NAACP and W.E B. Du Bois for years and appeared as a character witness when the federal government tried to indict the man.

civil rights, education, science, art, equality

In 1946, he published an essay for white readers about racial bias in Pageant magazine, writing:

“Your ancestors dragged these black people from their homes by force; and in the white man’s quest for wealth and an easy life they have been ruthlessly suppressed and exploited, degraded into slavery. The modern prejudice against Negroes is the result of the desire to maintain this unworthy condition. …
I do not believe there is a way in which this deeply entrenched evil can be quickly healed. But until this goal is reached there is no greater satisfaction for a just and well-meaning person than the knowledge that he has devoted his best energies to the service of the good cause.”

That same year, he gave a speech at Lincoln University calling racism was “a disease of white people.” He also added, “I do not intend to be quiet about it.”

Einstein was clearly one of the greatest minds of the 20th century. But perhaps what made him a truly special human being wasn’t just that he was smart, or that he was funny, or that he left behind a lot of great anecdotes (and notes for bellboys).

Perhaps it was that he used that magnificent brain of his to not just understand the world, but to try to make it more just, fair, and peaceful place.

This article originally appeared on 10.27.17

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Blind Masterchef champ reveals how she pulls off amazing meals by wearing a body cam

There is one question chef Christine Ha fields more than any other.

But it’s got nothing to do with being a “Masterchef” champion, New York Times bestselling author, and acclaimed TV host and cooking instructor.

The question: “How do you cook while blind?”


Ha has a rare autoimmune disease that attacked her spinal cord and optic nerve. She started losing her vision in 2004 while she was in her 20s.

Ha compares her vision loss to “looking at a very foggy mirror after a hot shower.” After her diagnosis, she worried she’d have to give up cooking. It was an interest she was just beginning to explore and one she had a serious talent and passion for. Instead of shying away from the kitchen, Ha decided to learn to navigate her new reality.

“It’s like any other challenge in life; you just face it head on and hope for the best,” she said in one of her recent videos.

blindness, chef, culinary, story, connection

A seasoned chef, Ha leans into her other senses to bring her culinary creations to life.

In a video for her YouTube channel, Ha wears a GoPro camera while expertly preparing a mouthwatering meal of steamed whole snapper with black bean sauce and blistered green beans. She describes it as a “typical weeknight meal,” the very thought of which separates home cooks from Masterchefs.

Watch Christine Ha make a delicious dinner … just maybe not while you’re hungry.

Ha is patient, taking her time to feel, smell, prep, and cut ingredients.

She sometimes uses adaptive tools, but much of her cooking is done by touch. She deftly guides her knife to accomplish intricate cuts.

Just like a sous chef in a professional kitchen, sometimes Ha’s partner lends a quick hand.

Ha uses cooking, food, and telling her story to connect and communicate with people around her.

Preparing and sharing meals is a great way to unite people and celebrate what makes each of us unique. Plus, you get to eat tasty food with your favorite people. And if it’s Gordon Ramsay approved, it’s that much sweeter.

Watch and learn a little more about Christine Ha in the video below:

This article originally appeared on 05.26.17

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Why people hate ‘vocal fry’ more when a woman has it

“Vocal Fry” is a term for the glottal, creaking sound of lower-register speech oscillation.

You know, like that raspy Zooey-Deschanel-type thing where your voice has that little “GuUuUuUuUuUuUuUh” crackle, instead of the smooth, consistent “Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuh.”


That really didn’t help at all, huh?

OK, it’s this:

We’ve noticed women using “vocal fry” for a while now…

A scientific study was reported in a 2011 issue of Science magazine that’s generally credited with adding the phrase “vocal fry” into the popular lexicon. Before this point, according to the magazine, apparently vocal fry did not exist, although Britney Spears anachronistically employed it in the first line of her debut single, “Baby One More Time” all the way back in 1998. And she wasn’t the only pop star to do so.

celebrity, trending, vocal fry, before 2011

The study from Science purported that women are often different than men (groundbreaking!), and thus, women talked less good with their mouth-sounds. (I’m paraphrasing, but that was the gist.) (Please excuse my rolling eyes.)

Specifically, vocal fry was said to be a trend among college-aged women of a certain social standing. “Young students tend to use it when they get together. Maybe this is a social link between members of a group,” noted one female researcher.

…but recently it’s been recognized that us dudes have been getting in on the action for a while too.

All right, guys! We’re finally getting closer to true gender parity! But the question remains: How come no one noticed that men have been using vocal fry for years?

“This American Life” host Ira Glass recently admitted that he uses vocal fry. But in a conversation with Chana Jaffe-Walt (who is not a dude), Glass also admitted that no one notices his vocal fry. And it’s not that no one notices — women are criticized for using vocal fry while men have been getting away with it for years.

“I get criticized for a lot of things in the emails to the show,” Glass said. “No one has ever pointed this out.”

Noted academic and anarcho-syndicalist advocate Noam Chomsky has also been known to employ vocal fry (presumably as a means of dismantling capitalism). Chomsky certainly has his detractors, but none of them seem to take issue with his vocal quality either. And even The Hairpin noted over 6 years ago that male vocal fry has become “a thing.”

In reality, associating the vocal fry trend only with women — both in practice and in naming — is a really just another way of trying to define gender roles.

It’s certainly interesting to observe the trends in human social interactions in the same way we observe a pack of wild capuchin monkeys. But the way that vocal fry gained traction in popular culture was, well, kind of weird.

After that Science magazine article came out, women were suddenly being judged for the supposedly abrasive way in which they spoke when they used vocal fry, even though both women and men had probably been talking that way since well before 2011.

There are many legitimate reasons — beyond gender — for why a person might develop vocal fry.

The simple truth is that vocal fry is just one way that people talk, regardless of their gender. Some people employ it as a means of being heard, as differentiating their voices from the rest of the masses. Other people really do just talk that way!

And it’s another example of the way we treat women like Goldilocks (“This one’s too sexy, and this one’s too prude, and…”). If a woman uses a higher register to speak, then it’s classified as ditzy, valley-girl uptalk. If a woman uses her lower register, it’s vocal fry. If she speaks in the middle (modal range), her words often get lost entirely.

vocal fry, talking, stereotypes, lower register

Maybe, just maybe, we should all try to worry less about the way people speak (or dress or…) and instead try to actually listen to and hear what they’re saying.

So vocal fry? Don’t vocal fry? Do what you want! Because if our crappy earbud headphones have taught us anything, it’s that content matters more than the quality of delivery.

This article originally appeared on 07.28.15