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Stephen Colbert Doesn’t Want You To Read Stephanie Grisham’s Tell-All Book, So He Spoiled All The ‘Juicy Details’

Stephanie Grisham was Donald Trump’s press secretary from July 2019 to April 2020. In that time, she didn’t hold a single press conference, an ignoble first in White House history. It’s for that reason — and many others, like how she was a willing participant in the Trump administration — that Stephen Colbert wants you to ignore her tell-all book.

“There’s a new tell-all from former White House press secretary and Morticia Addams’ divorced sister, Stephanie Grisham. Stephanie Grisham worked in the White House for four years, and as press secretary, she famously never gave a single press conference. But now she’s spilling all the tea in her new book, I Just Recently Gained a Spine,” Colbert said during the monologue of Tuesday’s episode of The Late Show. That’s not the actual title, obviously, but Colbert doesn’t want to help Grisham “sell a single copy of her tell-all about the time she told us nothing.” So he spoiled all the “juicy details.”

“In the book, Grisham uses a lot of colorful language to describe the administration, calling it ‘a clown car on fire running at full speed into a warehouse full of fireworks.’ Or as Fox News would put it, ‘a brave band of flaming harlequins rushing patriotically into the explosive jaws of danger.’ Just a reminder: She knew all about the fiery clown car and she still called shotgun for four years.”

Colbert also discussed Trump wearing Grisham’s makeup during a visit to Saudi Arabia and the time failsons Donald Jr. and Eric and their families cut the line at the White House’s annual Easter egg roll. “They cut a bunch of little kids in line so they could be first to get a picture with their own dad, like he’s a character at Disney World,” he joked.

You can watch The Late Show monologue above.