The Oscars are set to pop off Sunday night with their first show since, well, you know. The awards show hasn’t exactly been relevant for ages, but after last year’s shocking incident, they suddenly are. Will someone else get slapped? Probably not, especially given that they now have a “crisis team.” But they’re still big enough a deal that they got prime real estate on SNL, which bestowed upon them the Cold Open.
The opening sketch finds Marcello Hernandez and Heidi Gardner as Access Hollywood hosts Mario Lopez and “Maria Menounos or Kit Hoover.” They talk to a number of people, including new security head, the “notoriously calm and sane” Mike Tyson (Kenan Thompson).
“This year, all the nominees have been given tasers, all the seat fillers have been given guns and Jimmy Kimmel has been given a flamethrower,” said Thompson’s Tyson. He said that Will Smith (who’s not allowed back for some time) has been awarded an Apple AirTag, so “we know exactly where he’ll be at all times — unless, of course, he changed his pants and then he could be anywhere.”
There are also appearances from nominee Jamie Lee Curtis (Chloe Fineman), Michelle Williams’ Jewish acting coach (Sarah Sherman), and Bowen Yang as George Santos posing as Tom Cruise. When told that “you’re not fooling anyone,” Yang’s Santos replied, “Except I did, and now I’m in Congress. Excuse me, I have to go be everyone, everywhere all at once.”
You can watch the sketch in the video above.