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Disney Is Making Sequels To ‘Toy Story,’ ‘Frozen,’ ‘Zootopia’…And Laying Off Thousands

On Wednesday, Disney top brass made public their last quarterly earnings as well as what they were doing as a result of it. The good news: The final three months of 2022 were actually up 8% from the previous stretch. Hoorah! The bad news: That was mostly thanks to their amusement parks and “experiences,” which shot up after a low stretch probably due to…well, you know. In fact, they lost millions of Disney+ subscribers, albeit all of them overseas. Still, that was enough to drag down what could have been even larger revenue. Perhaps that’s why the company announced more good news: sequels to three of their biggest behemoths.

As per Deadline, Toy Story, Frozen, and Zootopia are all suddenly getting new sequels. For the former, it will be the fifth, which means they’ll probably have to find a way for Woody, who effectively went freelance at the end of number four, to regroup with the old gang (who almost all died in outing three). For Frozen it will be a threequel, while Zootopia had so far only netted a Disney+ series involving spin-offs.

When Disney finally gets these three sequels off the ground, they’ll have to do it with less staff at the overall company: In order to save some $5.5 billion, they’re cutting 7,000 jobs.

This may be why Disney seems to be adding new installments in three of their biggest cash cow franchises — or as newly returned CEO Bob Iger has talked about “leaning into our unrivaled brands and franchises.” The four Toy Story films have amassed over $3 billion. Frozen has made nearly that in only two films. Zootopia was the fourth highest-grossing film of 2016. Seems like a safe bet — a way for one of the biggest mega-corporations in the world to see more than just a pretty good uptick in quarterly revenue.

(Via Deadline)

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Vincent Cassel And Eva Green Need Couples Counseling And To Stop Cyber Attacks In The ‘Liaison’ Trailer

If success in TV hinges on having two super attractive people being super attractive at each other, Liaison did not deviate a single inch from the formula. The new Apple TV+ series features Vincent Cassel and Eva Green as two “agents” (of some bureau!) as well as former lovers (naturally) who have to do a See Something, Say Something on their own baggage while trying to thwart some catastrophic cyber hackery.

It features an international cast, although the bulk of the bad stuff appears to happen to London and the surrounding environs. Obviously it’s got the slick thriller gloss, so each episode will most likely feature some jaw drops and a big cliffhanger. Plus, Cassel and Green are both masters, so watching them play off each other is going to be diabolically fun. No doubt you also heard Peter Mullan’s trademark gravel voice in the trailer, but the character I feel for the most is Daniel Francis’s fiancé guy who is treading some serious Niko-in-Killing-Eve territory. Oh, you’re serious and gonna get married? Then why are you making goo goo eyes at Vincent Cassel? Checkmate.

The series is from Virginie Brac, who made the super fun Cheyenne and Lola, and it hits Apple TV+ February 24th unless someone hacks the entire grid and stops it.

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Indigo De Souza Announces Her Album ‘All Of This Will End’ And Unveils The Sprawling ‘Younger & Dumber’

Indigo De Souza’s 2021 album Any Shape You Take was a gorgeous, cathartic masterpiece through and through, not hesitating to dive headfirst into vulnerability or show frustration with a piercing scream. The Asheville, NC-based performer is back today with the announcement of the follow-up record, All Of This Will End, which comes with the sprawling single “Younger & Dumber.”

The song is as thoughtful and stunning as her material usually is; she proves her maturity more than ever, reflecting on her younger self. In a statement, she called it “a love letter to everyone’s inner child.” Read what she said below.

“‘Younger and Dumber’ is a flood beam of my emotional and spiritual human experience. My growing up defeated by a world brutally littered with trash, violence and grief, and somehow finding beauty, purpose, and boundless love existing in the same place. This song felt really emotionally intense for me when I wrote it. I was sitting in my house and it kind of flowed right to me as if it had already been written by some other force. A lot of the lyrics are a nod to the idea that your experiences make you who you are. I endured some heavy darkness and dysfunction when I was a teenager. But if I hadn’t been through those things, I wouldn’t be who I am now. When you’re young, you don’t know any better, but you learn from your experiences, and then you become somebody who’s been alive and learning. It’s also about how heartbreaking that is; to start as a child with vivid curiosity, innocent imagination and joy, and for the world to end up being kind of brutal to be a part of. This song is a love letter to everyone’s inner child. No one can prepare us for how insane it is to be alive. How many times we will have to rise from the ashes and what courage it will take.”

Listen to “Younger & Dumber” above, and check out the album artwork and tracklist below.

Indigo De Souza
Kimberly Oberhammer

1. “Time Back”
2. “You Can Be Mean”
3. “Losing”
4. “Wasting Your Time”
5. “Parking Lot”
6. “All Of This Will End”
7. “Smog”
8. “The Water”
9. “Always”
10. “Not My Body”
11. “Younger & Dumber”

All Of This Will End is out 4/28 via Saddle Creek. Pre-order it here.

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The Absolute Best Tequilas Under $50, Ranked

Drinking great tequila doesn’t always have to cost you a small fortune. While the pricier bottles tend to offer a smoother and more luxurious mouthfeel, there are plenty of bottles out there that won’t break the bank but still provide that sumptuous drinking experience. Sure, the cheaper bottom-of-the-shelf bottles aren’t going to get you there but plenty of bottles hover just under $50 and will provide a lot of bang for your buck.

So where are these bottles? We’re here to point you in the right direction by rounding up our 10 favorite tequila bottles under $50 and ranking them from good to great. Unlike our past tequila lists, we chose not to break this list up by expression, so you’ll find both blanco and reposado tequilas in our ranks — which are both perfect for shooting or mixing up in a cocktail.

We’d like to note that this is a best-of list (which made it even harder to rank), which means no matter where you land on this ranking, you’re going to get a quality bottle. So feel free to go by whatever is on sale. That said, if you want the best of the best, you’re going to want to hit the end of this list.

Let’s dive in!

10. Patron Silver

Best Tequila
Patron

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $39.99

The Tequila:

Patron is the brand that everyone who doesn’t know much about tequila cites as the best brand on the market. There is a reason for that, and while hardcore tequila-heads know better, to say Patron isn’t good is a sign that you’re full of sh*t. No, it’s not the best tequila out there, it has a whiff of mass production, it’s not as clear as direct of some of the other brands, but for the money, this is a damn fine tequila.

Made from 100% Blue Agave, Patron is light, bright, and smooth, and sometimes that’s all you want out of tequila. But of course, there are much better brands, we ranked them for a reason.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Almost sickly sweet with a strong chemical quality. This sounds bad, and it is, but the palate and finish make up for it.

Palate: Silky mouthfeel with notes of sweet pineapple and vegetal asparagus with lettuce overtones.

Finish: A celery-like peppery finish, lots of depth, supremely smooth.

The Bottom Line:

Smooth and easy to drink, but it has a chemical quality to the nose that keeps it from being truly great.

9. Lobos 1707 Joven Tequila

Best Tequila
Total Wine

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $47.45

The Tequila:

Lobos 1707 Joven offers a complexity that a lot of tequilas at this price range just don’t offer. It’s not technically a blanco tequila, instead it’s a joven which means it’s mixed with a measure of reposado — giving it a distinct character that features all the brightness you’d expect from a blanco, with a tinge of deep and mellow flavors at the back end.

Made from aged Blue Weber agave, this tequila is carbon filtered and finished in PX wine barrels, offering a buttery finish and some earthy tones that make it perfectly sippable as well as versatile in a cocktail.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Spicy and earthy.

Palate: Highly vegetal with deep tones of tobacco leaf, agave, and black pepper.

Finish: Buttery lip-smacking finish. Very satisfying on the backend.

The Bottom Line:

Rich and distinct with a mouthwatering buttery finish with the sort of brightness and vegetal quality you love in a blanco. It’s kind of the best of both worlds between the simplicity of a blanco and the complexity of a reposado.

8. Espolon Reposado

Best Tequila
Total Wine

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $23.99

The Tequila:

You’ll find Espolon on all sorts of best tequila lists (ours included) and there is a very clear reason why. This is hands down the best tequila you’re going to get in this price range. It’s just over $20 per 750ml bottle, and yet it’s full of complexity, flavor, and versatility.

Perfect for shooting or mixing in cocktails, Espolon punches way above its weight but as good as it is, it does come with some baggage as well. Most of its negative notes exist in the nose, it’s the sort of tequila that makes you wince when you smell it. It smells cheap, but it doesn’t taste it and that’s why it’s a favorite amongst so many.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Harsh kerosene quality. Almost eye-watering.

Palate: Supremely smooth with hints of tropical fruit, grass, and caramel.

Finish: A bright oaky finish with hints of roasted agave.

The Bottom Line:

It smells cheap, it won’t break the bank, and it tastes way better than something this affordable should. A tequila that punches way above its weight, a perfect bottle to bring to a party.

7. Herradura Reposado

Best Tequila
Herradura

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $47.29

The Tequila:

Herradura touts itself as the world’s first reposado tequila and, it is! First released in 1974, it set the standard for mellow slightly aged tequila. Herradura’s repo is aged for 11 months in charred American white oak barrels giving the liquid a smooth sweet finish with a beautiful rich amber color. But just because a brand is first, doesn’t mean it’s the best.

Don’t get us wrong, Herradura’s reposado is excellent, but there are far better versions of this expression out there that don’t come across quite as candy sweet as this one does. Maybe that’s your thing, but we like our tequila with a bit more bite.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Cotton candy sweet, slightly floral.

Palate: Strong notes of cinnamon and maple mingle with notes of cotton candy. Confection-like, very sweet.

Finish: Vanilla and butter on the finish with a fantastic silky mouthfeel.

The Bottom Line:

If you like your tequila candy-sweet and syrupy (some writers might call this “smooth”), this is your bottle.

6. Espanita Reposado

Best Tequila
Espanita

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $34.99

The Tequila:

Espanita’s reposado is aged for six months in charred American white oak barrels sourced from bourbon manufacturers in Kentucky. Those bourbon barrels make all the difference, there is a carmelized quality and smoothest to this tequila that is reminiscent of fine bourbon, while still containing the zesty bright qualities you might expect from tequila.

Espanita is produced at NOM 1467 and double distilled in copper pots and utilizes a roller mill extraction and is cooked in stone and brick ovens.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Zesty with notes of ginger spice and roasted agave.

Palate: Dark and distinct kola nut qualities with hints of cinnamon, creamy and buttery walnuts, and rich vanilla.

Finish: An earthy finish with a candied coconut quality.

The Bottom Line:

You’ll find a nice journey of flavors in this bottle. From spicey notes like ginger and cinnamon to sweetened coconut at the finish.

5. Casamigos Blanco

Tequila
Drizly

ABV:

Average Price: $39.99

The Tequila:

Until Kendall Jenner hit the tequila scene, George Clooney’s Casamigos set the standard for celebrity tequila, and even though Clooney sold Casamigos a long time ago, it’s still a damn good tequila. Made from 100% Blue Weber agave from the highlands of Jalisco, Casamigos goes through a slow fermentation process and is made from slow-cooked pinas in traditional brick ovens. The tequila hails from NOM 1609, where it is the only brand in production at the distillery.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Fresh-cut grass and roasted agave dominate the nose.

Palate: Highly vegetal with strong asparagus overtones and a sweet marshmallow quality.

Finish: Roasted nuts and vanilla on the finish. A bit harsh but in a good way.

The Bottom Line:

Bright, fresh, and transparent. Casamigos is a great companion to just about any tequila-based cocktail.

4. 818 Blanco

Tequila
Total Wine

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $45.35

The Tequila:

When 818 first hit the scene it was produced at NOM 1137, La Cofradia, where 63 other brands are produced. It sounds hard to believe but even back then 818 was good, now it’s produced at NOM 1607, Grupo Solave, which produces under five brands, and with an increased sense of focus and quality control, this brand tastes even better than its initial run of bottles.

This award-winning tequila is produced using traditional methods, like Tahona extraction and cooper pot distillation before being barrel aged for three weeks, producing a distinct roundness that makes it all to easy to drink.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Incredibly floral with a bright lemongrass quality to it.

Palate: Strongly vanilla with top notes of peach hovering over the cooked agave flavor.

Finish: Smooth with notes of toasted coconut and rich chocolate. Dangerously easy to drink.

The Bottom Line:

Sweeter and easier to drink than Casamigos, but just as versatile. 818 is a crowd-pleaser and the perfect bottle to utilize if you’re trying to introduce someone to the world of tequila. Especially if that person is yourself.

3. Dano’s Dangerous Reposado

Tequila
Total Wine

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $49.99

The Tequila:

Hailing from NOM 1507, Dano’s Dangerous utilizes brick oven cooking, roller mill extraction, and natural spring water for its base tequila which is then aged for 9 months in virgin white oak barrels for an ultra-smooth expression. The bottle design looks cheap, but don’t let the lack of adornment fool you, this tequila is beloved garnering multiple awards including Gold from the 2020 Sip Awards International Spirits Competition, Gold from the San Francisco World Spirits Competition, and Double Gold at the WSWA Tasting competition.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Toasted agave and deep chocolate tones dominate the nose.

Palate: Vanilla, toasted almonds, agave, a bit of oak, and cool mint qualities on the backend.

Finish: Very smooth with hints of caramel and mango with a black peppercorn bite.

The Bottom Line:

Complex, distinct, rich, and smooth. Don’t let the name turn you off, the only thing “dangerous” about this tequila is how easy it is to drink.

2. LALO Blanco

Tequila
Total Wine

ABV: 40%

Average Price: $44.99

The Tequila:

LALO is a brand with a singular focus — blanco tequila, and it pays off as this is one of our favorite blanco tequilas currently on the market. Using agave sourced from the Jalisco highlands, this tequila utilizes deep well water, is double distilled, and uses a proprietary champagne yeast.

The agave is cooked in stone steam ovens for 20 to 32 hours and rested for an additional 18 hours. No barrels or additives are used in the making of tequila, making this one of the more pure agave expressions out there. It has a bright vegetal flavor that we can’t get enough of.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Bright and zesty citrus on the nose.

Palate: Buttery with hints of cooked agave and caramel.

Finish: Fruity, bright, vegetal, there is a very pure quality to this tequila.

The Bottom Line:

Wonderfully transparent, bright, and vegetal, the perfect clean-tasting blanco tequila.

1. El Tesoro Reposado Tequila

Tequila
Total Wine

ABV:

Average Price: $47.99

The Tequila:

I’ve long sung the praises of El Tesoro and for the money, I think this is simply one of the best bottles of tequila you can hope to buy. This tequila is produced at NOM 1139, the legendary La Alteña distillery, and utilizes tahona extraction, open-air wood fermentation, cooper pot distillation, and natural spring water. The tequila is then aged in American oak ex-bourbon barrels for nine to eleven months giving it a wonderful smokey and sweet finish.

Winner of the Double Gold Medal at the San Francisco Spirits Competition and Ultimate Spirits Challenge in 2021, El Tesoro has a complexity to it that ignites the palate and leaves your mouth watering.

Tasting Notes:

Nose: Smokey oak tones on the nose with a butterscotch edge.

Palate: Silky with hints of coconut, dark cherry, and roasted agave. A warm honey-like body.

Finish: Peppery with a smooth oaky finish with a nice cooked agave quality.

The Bottom Line:

It’s complex enough to sit alongside bottles in the above $50 range with a smooth finish and a wonderful and addicting flavor. If you’re looking for the best tequila under $50, this is the one, easily.

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Grocery Store Bratwurst — Grilled, Tasted Blind, And Ranked For Super Bowl Sunday

There’s a pretty good chance you’re cooking something this weekend, with food being the best part of Super Bowl Sunday. If you are grilling, there’s also a pretty solid chance that there’s going to be some sausages hissing and popping next to those burger patties. And while hot dogs are a necessity, grilling for a long football game with the crew at your place feels way more like a bratwurst job.

The links — full of pork, fat, salt, herbs, and spices (marjoram, coriander, mace, cardamom, and nutmeg with dried ginger and white pepper) — are among the most popular sausages around the globe and are sure to land on many a grill this week (no offense to Italian sausage or kielbasa fans). So let’s blindly taste some classic versions from the grocery store to find the best one for you to fire up.

Before we dive in, a little context. I lived in Berlin for 14 years. I have a deep knowledge of the massive world that is German sausages. Before you chime in with how many sausage types you think there are in Germany, I’m going to stop you. It’s way, way, way more than you think. Yes, Frankfurters, weisswurst, Weiners, bratwurst, and maybe even bockwurst get a lot of play in America but that’s barely scratching the surface. There are, wait for it, over 1,200 different types of sausages across Germany. Some are good, some are great, some are … let’s just say an acquired taste.

That all said, I’ve spent more than one or two beer-fueled evenings debating (arguing) over how much mace, cardamom, and marjoram a good fresh bratwurst should have, the ratio of lean to fat, and even casings (lamb adds a nice crack and umami bite but pork is traditional). Hell, I can give good arguments about the breed of pig to use — it’s Landrace or Berkshire, though Eurasian wild pig has its charms. I’ve even hosted parties/cookouts where we made our own brats while brewing beer (about the most German thing you can do).

That’s a long way to say, this is in my wheelhouse.

For this exercise, I went to four grocery stores and bought all the standard bratwurst they had. No cheese wurst or maple chicken smoked blah, blah, blah. Just the standard stuff that was either in the cooler with the bacon and hot dogs or the brats that were on the butcher counter next to the steaks and roasts.

That makes our lineup the following today:

  • Whole Foods Butcher Counter Local Beer Bratwurst Sausage
  • Trader Joe’s Fully Cooked Uncured Bavarian Bratwurst
  • Impossible Bratwurst
  • Kroger Classic Bratwurst
  • Whole Foods Organic Bratwurst Savory Herb
  • Olympia Provisions Bratwurst
  • Beyond Sausage Brat Original
  • Kroger Butcher Counter Wamplers Bratwurst

When it comes to grilling, tasting, and ranking these brats, I kept it pretty straightforward. All of the brats were cooked on a grill (Traeger at 400F) until their internal temp hit 165F (about 10 to 15 minutes depending on size). After that, my wife lined up the entrants on plates and served them to me blind. That said, it was painfully obvious which brats were the fake meat ones… but more on that later.

The ranking was pretty straightforward too. What tasted best? Was there a presence of marjoram (crucial!)? Mace, nutmeg, and cardamom? Was it soft and juicy with a nice fattiness? Or was it mealy and plain with too much sweetness? Those were my baseline parameters. Let’s get into and find you the best brats to grill this weekend!

(Quick note: every place I went to only had Beer Cheese Johnsonville Brats and not the Classic Johnsonville Brats, so they’re not ranked even though you’ll likely see them at your grocery store.)

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Food Posts From The Last 6 Months

Part 1: The Tasting

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

Taste 1

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

Ugh. This is grainy AF. There’s a mild sense of salt and herbs but nothing really distinct. It’s not dry, but not juicy by any stretch.

Initial Thoughts:

This felt like an American having seen a bratwurst on PBS and then tried to make one themselves without looking up a recipe.

Taste 2

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This is spot on. It’s a precooked version (which is the most ubiquitous brat in Germany) and hits the flavor profile perfectly. There’s a clear sense of dried marjoram, a nice pinch of mace, and cardamom. There’s a very faint sense of white pepper and dried ginger too. The sausage is lush and moist. The casing has a great crackle to it.

Initial Thoughts:

Where’s the mustard? This is really good and tastes exactly right for a precooked German brat.

Taste 3

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This was savory with a nice sense of white pepper and umami with a whisper of marjoram. The texture wasn’t terrible but clearly faux meat. There was a nice attempt at a casing but no crack.

Initial Thoughts:

This was fine. If you smothered it in ketchup and mustard it’d be passable.

Taste 4

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This had a nice crack and moistness punctuated by sharp spice and savory herbs — though not exactly distinct ones. The sausage was very good with a twinge of sweetness.

Initial Thoughts:

This felt like a classic American brat. The savory/spice mix was on point and the added sweetness gave it away as cheap but kind of addictive. I wanted more, especially with a dollop of mustard to counter that corn syrup.

Taste 5

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This had a nice structure to it. There was a bit of crack on the casing. The precooked brat filling was pretty bland. There was a very mild sense of white pepper and garlic powder with maybe some paprika. I did get a whisper of nutmeg and cardamom at the end but not much else.

Initial Thoughts:

I really had to reach to find those flavor notes. They were there, but just barely. Overall, this felt blander than I’d like.

Taste 6

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This was okay. The precooked sausage had a decent crack and meatiness. There was a mix of spices but they were pretty hard to distinguish. Overall, this was average.

Initial Thoughts:

This needed something to help it pop. Where’s the marjoram?

Taste 7

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This looked … bad. Let’s just leave it at that. No casing so no crack. The “sausage” was mealy and plasticky. There was a sense of seasoning but it was indistinct. It was very chewy.

Initial Thoughts:

I spit this nonsense out.

Taste 8

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

Tasting Notes:

This was damn good. The sausage was actually juicy, well-seasoned, and mildly spiced with a good sense of umami bite. This tasted like a good American brat with a vivid layer of sweetness counterpointing the spice and herbs.

Initial Thoughts:

This needed a dollop of mustard to counter all that corn syrup but had a great seasoning profile. This isn’t a classic German brat by any stretch of the imagination but it was a good sausage.

Part 2: The Ranking

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

8. Beyond Sausage Brat Original — Taste 7

Beyond Sausage Brat Original
Beyond Meat

Price: $8.29 (14 oz./4 links)

The Bratwurst:

Beyond Sausages Brat Original boasts of having 35% less saturated fat on the packaging. The “sausage” is made from a mix of pea protein, coconut oil, sunflower oil, brown rice protein, potato starch, fava bean protein, and apple fiber amongst “natural flavors” (MSG), and calcium alginate casing (I had to look it up too).

The package states that you have to brush the link in oil before grilling, which … hard pass.

Bottom Line:

This is bad. Skip.

7. Whole Foods Butcher Counter Local Beer Bratwurst Sausage — Taste 1

Local Beer Bratwurst
Whole Foods

Price: $6.99 (per pound)

The Bratwurst:

This is the sausage from the butcher counter at Whole Foods. The ingredients are pretty simple: Pork, beer, “bratwurst seasoning,” pork casing, and WHEAT (they put it in all caps, not me).

Bottom Line:

This was the most disappointing by far. The good sausages in the butcher case are supposed to be better, right? These were worse. This was a grainy mess. Hard pass.

6. Impossible Bratwurst — Taste 3

Impossible Sausage Bratwurst
Impossible

Price: $9.99 (13.5 oz./4 links)

The Bratwurst:

Impossible Bratwurst is made from a slurry of soy protein, sunflower oil, coconut oil, yeast extract, vegetal casing, modified food starch, and a ton of other stuff that’s way too long to list here. Bonus points though, it does list “marjoram” as an ingredient.

This grilled up pretty much like any brat on the grill with no extra fussing like Beyond.

Bottom Line:

This was fine. If you’re planning on adding some grilled onions and peppers, it’d pass. On its own, it’s not ideal. It just kind of tastes like you’re eating the inside of a plastic food bin that once held tasty brats.

5. Whole Foods Organic Bratwurst Savory Herb — Taste 5

Whole Foods Organic Bratwurst Savory Herb
Whole Foods

Price: $7.99 (12 oz./4 links)

The Bratwurst:

This precooked brat from Whole Foods is a “healthier” mix of ingredients. It’s made with organic chicken, sea salt, organic black pepper, organic red pepper, organic coriander, organic nutmeg, organic cardamom, and natural pork casing.

This grilled up pretty easily and quickly.

Bottom Line:

This was fine. I wouldn’t confuse it for a German sausage, but it wasn’t without its charms. In a bun with some spicy mustard and maybe some kraut and this would be passable.

4. Olympia Provisions Bratwurst — Taste 6

Olympia Provisions Bratwurst
Olympia Provisions

Price: $18.30 (12 oz./3 links)

The Bratwurst:

This beloved brand from Portland, Oregon, is made with a minimalist mix of pork, pork fat, milk powder, salt, spices, dextrose, dried vinegar, and Hog casing.

This also grilled up nicely on the ol’ grill.

Bottom Line:

The addition of milk throws me here. That aside, this was pretty bland all things considered. If you’re cooking a big pile of onions and peppers, then you’ll be in a better place flavor-wise. On its own, this still needs some kind of sauce to pep it up.

3. Kroger Butcher Counter Wamplers Bratwurst — Taste 8

Wampler's Bratwurst
Wamplers

Price: $1.50 (2 links)

The Bratwurst:

This butcher counter bratwurst is very local (well, to Tennessee/Kentucky anyway). The ingredients include premium fresh pork, corn syrup, salt, spices, lemon juice powder (which also has corn syrup), and spice extractives. That’s a lot.

This grilled up the best. It retained its juiciness and was still plump when it came off the grill at temp.

Bottom Line:

This was pretty good all things considered. It was really sweet — that dinged it a bit since it overpowered the spice and herbs in the sausage. That said, this would be pretty good on a soft roll with some mustard to counter all that corn syrup.

2. Kroger Classic Bratwurst — Taste 4

Kroger Classic Bratwurst
Kroger

Price: $3.99 (18 oz./5 links)

The Bratwurst:

These are the standard, cheap brats you get in the meat aisle at the grocery store. The ingredients include pork and spices and a bunch of stuff that ends in -ose, -ide, and -extrin along with corn syrup.

This shrank a bit while grilling but that sort of concentrated the flavors and moistness.

Bottom Line:

These tasted good. It was a tad sweet (but most American versions of anything are). Overall, this had the most American bratwurst vibe to it and would have really shined with a dab of spicy mustard with some grilled onions and peppers on a soft roll.

1. Trader Joe’s Fully Cooked Uncured Bavarian Bratwurst — Taste 2

Trader Joe's Bratwurst
Trader Joes

Price: $5.49 (12 oz./4 links)

The Bratwurst:

The only Trader Joe’s brat available is a precooked version from Germany. The ingredients include pork, marjoram, black pepper, nutmeg, mace, ginger, coriander, and pimento with pork casing (amongst other stabilizers).

This grilled up easily and nicely, holding onto its moistness.

Bottom Line:

This was far and away the best-tasting brat on the list today. It actually tasted like a bratwurst. It also had a nice crack to the casing, good moistness to the meat, and distinguishable herbs and spices that belong in a bratwurst.

Part 3: Final Thoughts

Bratwurst Ranked
Zach Johnston

If you want the real thing this weekend when you’re grilling up before the game, then you’re going to need to make a trip to Trader Joe’s. The rest of the links on this list didn’t even come close. The rub here is that Trader Joe’s brats are only “okay” when compared to what you really get around Germany but that’s beside the point. They’re still good, well-seasoned, and cook up nice on a grill.

If a trip to Trader Joe’s is out of the cards, then just grab the classic cheap brats from your local grocery store. They’ll do nicely compared to the other crap on the shelf out there. Just beware of all that sweetness, add some grilled onions and peppers, and get plenty of spicy mustard.

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The Jokes Were Flying — Eventually — After Twitter Acted Funky For About An Hour Or So

On Wednesday afternoon, Twitter — a service now owned by a guy whose electric cars keep malfunctioning and causing accidents — started acting funky. Starting around 4:45pm EST, users started noticing they could no longer post messages on one of the world’s most popular social media service. There was a workaround to get tweets live again, and once people discovered it, the jokes started flying well before the problems had mostly but not completely subsided.

Mid-afternoon, people who tweet a lot — or just happened to be tweeting then — got a strange message when they hit the “tweet” button: “You are over the limit of sending daily tweets.” The problem affected not only people who tweet too much but even those who had tweeted once or even zero times that day.

There was a fix: Instead of clicking on “tweet,” people could simply schedule their post for a minute later (provided they selected the correct date). Soon Twitter was alive again, mostly with people complaining about how it was broken.

To make matters fishier, the outage happened the same day as a splashy — and ultimately fruitless — House oversight committee hearing led by the MAGA wing of the chamber into Twitter’s alleged suppression of Hunter Biden dick pics. There was a lot of shouting, sometimes by elected lawmakers who had repeatedly heckled President Joe Biden at his State of the Union address the night before. But by the end of the day they had, as Democrat Rep. Jamie Raskin put it, “turned up absolutely nothing.”

It’s unlikely the two incidents are related, but since, again, Twitter owner Elon Musk owns Tesla, some speculated on a connection.

It was bad timing in other ways, too.

Direct messages were also suddenly AWOL.

Some pointed out Twitter isn’t the only unreliable Musk product.

Those who figured out the workaround were quick to fling jokes.

Even Dictionary.com threw some shade.

Surely, some pointed out, the Musk die-hards weren’t giving up on their hero.

A bit before 6pm EST, things started getting back to normal.

Which prompted more jokes.

Of course, it’s unclear who saved the day.

As it happened, the outage happened mere hours after MAGA lawmakers, who failed to prove the government had coerced them into burying dick pics of the current president’s son, singled out Musk for saving Twitter from…well, from not having weird outages.

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Phoebe Bridgers Doesn’t Seem To Love The ‘Stupid-Ass, Dumbass B*tch’ Whose Name Is On The Venue She Just Played

Last year, Phoebe Bridgers was in the UK playing Glastonbury upon the tragic news of the overturning of Roe v. Wade. “Who wants to say ‘F*ck the Supreme Court’ on three?” she said onstage to the crowd, leading a controversial chant. Now, she called for another one while in Australia, this time for Margaret Court.

Performing at the Margaret Court Arena in Melbourne, she had to address that the famous tennis player is homophobic. “So, Margaret Court,” Bridgers said. “F*ck that stupid-ass, dumbass b*tch. F*ck that stupid c*nt. Change your name!” She then prompted a chant: “F*ck Margaret Court!”

She added, “I think hate is undervalued. I think it’s like a f*cking weird, white supremacist idea that hate is bad, or something? You know what I mean? It’s like hate is what moves things throughout history. I hate that stupid b*tch! Hate is like how you protect yourself. What, are you never supposed to be angry, ever?”

Meanwhile the “Kyoto” singer is preparing for the release of The Record, her album in the supergroup Boygenius, whose other members are Lucy Dacus and Julien Baker. The singles “$20,” “True Blue,” and “Emily I’m Sorry” are out now.

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What Are The Prices To Expect For Beyoncé’s Ivy Park Trail Collection?

The Beyhive is justifiably upset that Beyoncé didn’t win Album Of The Year for Renaissance at the 2023 Grammys on Sunday night, February 5, while simultaneously fighting for tickets to her forthcoming Renaissance World Tour. Fans’ attention spans will be tested even further this week when Beyoncé and Adidas drop a new Ivy Park collection.

According to Adidas’ official press release, the “Park Trail” collection “is inspired by the resilience of the outdoors, the spirit of the streets, and the possibilities of the future.” The online release is set for tomorrow, February 9, and select partner stores will begin selling the collection on Friday, February 10.

Here are the basics, as written in the press release:

  • 56 apparel styles (including inclusive sizing), 12 accessories, 3 footwear styles (with one tyle, the TT 2000, in two colors)
  • Unisex regular and oversized fits
  • Men’s regular and tight fits
  • Women’s tight, regular and oversized fits
  • Sizes from XXXS-XXXXL

But as with anything Bey-related, there’s one big question: How much will this cost? The good news is that the low end of the price range is $30. The bad news is that pricing tops out at $600.

The “Park Trail” rollout dates back to last month when Ice Spice and Offset were revealed as two of the campaign’s faces.

It was reported by The Wall Street Journal earlier today, February 8, that Adidas’ projected Ivy Park to net $250 million in sales last year but earned $40 million in 2022 instead.

Check out how Ivy Park is setting the tone for 2023 below.

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‘Uproxx Recon’ Goes Long To Take A Look At Football Video Game History

So, it’s the end of another football season and your team didn’t make it to the show. Why not direct your frustrated energy toward giving your team another virtual chance at the Lombardi trophy?

That’s why, on this edition of Uproxx Recon with Ray Apollo and Noelle Miller, we’re talking about football video games.

Football has been part of video games culture since the very beginning on home consoles like the Atari 2600 and in arcades with 1978’s Atari Football. America’s true pastime has been a visible part of video games through all of its innovations like online play, rosters that can update in real-time, and even virtual reality. Quite a jump.

When we think about football video games, we think about super sims like the Madden franchise and the ghost of the NFL2K franchise that some fans just can’t forget about. This is why we’re talking about those games in this episode and arcade-style games like NFL Street that opened up football to more casual fans while twisting the most basic rules of the sport and turning them into a whole new experience, proving that fun can be had with football games that let you do things you could never do on the gridiron without getting a hefty fine.

Check out the episode and let us know about your favorite football video game moments.

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Trevor Lawrence On Playoff Lessons, Playing For Doug Pederson, And Jaguars Ping Pong Battles

Trevor Lawrence came into the NFL with high expectations, as the former Clemson star had been elite at every level of football since he was a kid, almost predestined to be a top overall pick.

His first year with the Jaguars didn’t go as planned, and coming into his second year there were questions about how much of the Jaguars struggles fell on his shoulders, and how much came from the internal turmoil of Urban Meyer’s disastrous season at the helm in Jacksonville. Lawrence got to answer a lot of those questions this year, leading the Jags to the AFC South title at 9-8, a thrilling Wild Card win over the Chargers in which they erased a 27-point deficit, and a Pro Bowl nod.

It wasn’t perfect, but it proved optimism in Jacksonville that they do in fact have their franchise quarterback, as he flourished in his first year under Doug Pederson. On Wednesday night, Lawrence will trade a football for a ping pong paddle as part of P&G’s Battle of the Paddles (7 p.m. ET on Twitch), as he represents Head & Shoulders — a fitting sponsorship considering his long, golden locks — in the 8-man tournament on Super Bowl week.

Ahead of that, we got to talk with Lawrence over Zoom about his ping pong skills, just how much ping pong got played in Jacksonville this year now that they were allowed to have a table, his development from Year 1 to Year 2, and the lessons learned in his first postseason experience.

How was the Pro Bowl experience and your first time out there? And what do you think of the new format with flag football and the mini game style style format y’all got to do?

Yeah, I mean, I had a great time. Obviously, it’s a huge honor to be selected for that and represent my team and all that. So, I mean, I had a great time. I like I like the new format. Obviously, I never experienced the old one. But just from what I hear and then experiencing two full seasons now, especially going to the playoffs, it’s kind of tough — like I can imagine it’d be not what you want to do to like play another game. So I think guys like that. I don’t know about from the outside view or fan perspective. You know, I think it’s kind of, people are always gonna have something to say. So I think that’s a little bit tough to manage, but I think guys had a good time. It was a good mix of interacting with the fans and doing stuff to put on a little bit of a show, and then also having free time and being able to hang out and meet all the guys. It was fun.

You’ve got the Battle the Paddles coming up this week. I got to talk to Jared Goff yesterday and he said you got him on the table at the Pro Bowl. Do you feel like you’re coming into this as as the favorite in the tournament?

Um, I don’t want to be [laughs]. I want to be under the radar. So I’m hoping that no one knows how much ping pong that we played in our locker room because if people knew how often we played, people would probably expect a lot from me. So I’m hoping that I’m not the favorite, but I don’t know. No, I’m excited. I’m excited to play seems like we got a good group. So it’s gonna be fun.

I don’t think fans quite realize, like you said, how much ping pong gets played in locker rooms. Like, I do a lot of NBA stuff and it’s the same, where every NBA locker room has a table. I know a lot of NFL locker rooms do. Like, can you kind of give us a peek behind the curtain how much ping pong gets played?

It’s a lot. I mean, we we didn’t have one last year so this is new. It all depends on like who your staff is, if they’re alright with it — like you kind of have to clear a few levels. But you know, our coach was cool with it. Our equipment guys were cool with it. So we got us a table and we play [a lot]. The specialists play more than anyone because they have the shortest meetings, they get in from practice early and all that. So they play the most, but then I’d say we [the QB room] were a close second. Really any break before practice or lunch or whatever. After practice, like while everybody’s still in there, we’re like right up on the table right away. So between meetings, we’ll have 20-30 minutes, we’ll hop on for a game or two. Like we play a lot.

You mentioned getting the new staff in this year. What was the biggest thing that you felt playing for Doug Pederson and playing in that offense did for you as a quarterback and getting you settled in so you could make this leap that you did in your second season?

Yeah, I think there’s a lot of factors. It’s not just one thing. I mean, the offense is really I think quarterback friendly. It gives us a lot of options, you know. It lets me — I feel like our staff did a really good job of maximizing what I do well, and also our game plans were great every week. And it puts us in a position I feel like gives me a lot of answers based on what the defense is doing. It just opens up a lot of things. First, lets me get to a lot of our checks, all that. And then also we brought in a lot of really good players and I think that’s what the game is about is the players. And so Christian [Kirk] and Zay [Jones] and Evan [Engram], Brandon Scherff up front, Luke Fortner, we got Travis [Etienne] back, just all the new guys along with the guys that we had last year as well that played played great — Jawaan [Taylor] had a great year — and just guys like that. It all kind of came together at the right time and our chemistry really started to click a few games into the season. But it’s all that. It’s the offense. It’s the guys. It’s just the culture that we’re building. Everything kind of plays together.

What were the things you feel like you took a step forward in from year one to year two? What are the things when you look back, you’d say I’m most proud of from year one to year two?

Yeah, I mean, I think obviously — I’m not a big stats guy — but statistically, like my turnovers went down, which was something I really wanted to improve on. Especially interceptions like that went down this year, significantly from last year — especially in the regular season — and then still want to get better with ball security. Some of the fumbles and stuff, but there’s always gonna be things to work on. And then I think just managing the game. Situational football, all those things I feel like it did a much better job, especially the second half of the season. You know, we were able to win — one thing that was cool about our season was we were able to win probably five out of the last eight or whatever games that we won were by one score. So it was just really a testament to how much better we got as a year went on, because we lost those games early in the season. I think we had five straight losses by one score. So it was cool to see that improvement from myself and from our offense and being able to do whatever it takes to win and in those key moments making the plays. I think that gives myself and gives guys a lot of confidence moving forward is in the biggest moments we’ve already shown we can do we should have that confidence. I think that really carried on as the season went.

What’s the biggest lesson you take away from from your playoff run? Obviously getting two games in the postseason for the first time and seeing what that’s all about because everything is so much more magnified. The mistakes are magnified. The big plays are magnified. Everything matters just that little bit more, and what are the things you can take away from that experience?

Yeah, it was a great experience. Obviously the first game was crazy, just that whole roller coaster in the Wild Card game at home here against the Chargers. That game was insane. And that’s a cool one to look back on, and just to be a part. Like that’ll be one that that people will remember for a long time. So and thenjust the experience from being down 27 points, having a really, really bad first half and still finding a way to win the game. Again, like I was talking about the other stuff in our season that taught us a lot, I think that’s something that you will always remember and you’ll keep in the back of your head. And when things aren’t going well — It’s going to happen again, I mean, hopefully not that bad to that extent, but it’s going to happen again when we’re down by a few scores. Maybe I’ve thrown a couple picks in the first half or whatever it is. And you’ll always remember what we did that playoff game against Chargers and then the guys that are going to be together next year that played this year together, we’ll always remember all those experiences. So I do think it is valuable moving forward, but in the playoffs it’s tough. Usually the team that makes the least amount of mistakes wins and you see, you know against the Chiefs, we were right in that game and just had a couple more mistakes and they played a cleaner game and were able to pull it out. So it’s stuff like that, that you learn from too is you know the wins and losses, and you figure out how to give yourself the best chance to win and you got to play really clean, especially in the playoffs to win.