Here are your quick and dirty, editorial-free AEW Dynamite results for April 1, 2020. The latest empty arena show featured Kenny Omega versus Trent from Best Friends, Cody Rhodes teaming up with Darby Allin to face Sammy Guevara and Shawn Spears, the announcement of the second half of the TNT Championship tournament, and more. Make sure you’re here tomorrow for the complete Ins and Outs of AEW Dynamite column.

AEW Dynamite Results:

– The full brackets for the TNT Championship tournament were announced.

– Tony Schiavone and Cody are on commentary again, with an assist from Pharaoh the dog.

1. Kenny Omega defeated Trent with the One-Winged Angel. Omega helped Trent up after the match and fist-bumped him.

2. Hikaru Shida defeated Anna Jayy. Shida won with a knee to the back of the head, followed by a Falcon Arrow. Britt Baker was among the wrestlers at ringside for the match, and she and Shida had words before and afterward. Also, Baker ate a sandwich because she thought the match was boring.

– A video package about Jon Moxley’s rivalry with Jake Hager aired. Moxley mentioned that they used to listen to the Jerky Boys together. I didn’t need to include that in the results, but I felt like you should know. Moxley and Hager will face off for the AEW World Championship on Dynamite in two weeks.

3. Lance Archer murdered Marko Stunt. Colt Cabana was on commentary. Archer won with a chokeslam and his Blackout slam. After the match, Archer chokeslammed Stunt from the ring apron onto the wrestlers at ringside.

– Another video of Brodie Lee bossing around the Dark Order aired.

4. The Natural Nightmares (Dustin Rhodes and QT Marshall) defeated Dark Order members 8 and 9. “8” and “9” were generic masked men. The Nightmares won their Dynamite debut with their tandem cutter finisher.

– Chris Jericho sent in a video of him at his home in a hot tub. Vanguard-1 flew in and Jericho once again offered him a spot in the Inner Circle. Jericho gave him a tiny t-shirt, but Vanguard flew away with it. Jericho then “released the hounds,” a bunch of cute little dogs, to chase the drone.

– The Young Bucks worked out in a ring at Nick Jackson’s home and talked about how he isn’t ready to return yet.

5. Shawn Spears and Sammy Guevara defeated Cody and Darby Allin. Spears and Guevara bet on the match during the match. Guevara tried to introduce a chair, which distracted Allin and allowed Spears to roll him up for the win. After the match, Allin knocked Cody down with a forearm.

The nationwide quarantine has led to an increased amount of both indoor activity and social media entertainment.Ari Lennox has been keeping her fans entertained through her comical Instagram Live sessions, and she went live again Wednesday to showcase her struggles securing her new wig. Clearly dissatisfied by the way it looked on her, Ari requested help from her viewers, repeatedly asking, “So I guess I gotta cut more lace?” before jokingly getting frustrated by their responses.

The Shaderoom reposted the video of Ari’s wig struggle to their Instagram page, which led to ommenting on the video, Snoop Dogg said, “Grow your own hair what happened to those.” Fans were not happy with his response, as many took to Twitter to share their thoughts.

Whether or not Ari took offense to Snoop’s comments remains to be seen. However, she did exhibit a great sense of humor about them in a post to Instagram. She shared a picture of what ironically appears to be a fairer-skinned Snoop Dogg in a wig, with a caption that read, “Uncle I just…I just thought we had an understanding…”

Snoop’s comments come just a month after he was widely criticized for his response to Gayle King’s Kobe Question, which led to Ari Lennox defending him. He later made an appearance on Jada Pinkett Smith’s Red Table Talk to apologize for his comments, but it looks like he’ll be heading there once more.

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The world has been on virtual lock-down for weeks now in the face of a global pandemic that has killed tens of thousands and continues to spread rapidly as a badly-depleted healthcare industry scrambles to provide services to the scores of people who have been affected.

The crisis has forced everyone to make sacrifices and has led to an unprecedented situation in which the majority of the population is confined to their homes and left floundering to find ways to occupy their time to try and maintain a basic level of sanity amid all the fear and uncertainty.

It’s required many people to give up what they love doing the most. That includes professional athletes, whose seasons have been delayed indefinitely. For Steph Curry, it’s meant that he hasn’t been able to shoot a basketball for weeks now. That’s right. Apparently, Steph Curry, aka the greatest shooter who’s ever walked the face of the Earth, doesn’t have a basketball hoop at his home. But that was rectified recently after Ayesha purchased one for him online, but it turns out the assembly was more involved than he anticipate.

Via Ben Cohen of The Wall Street Journal:

Stephen Curry had been stuck at home for more than two weeks, unable to do the one thing he does better than anybody, when his wife ordered him a Spalding hoop for their driveway. For the first time in 16 days, he could shoot a basketball. Or at least that was the plan.

But this solution only caused another problem. Now he actually had to put the hoop together.

“I got overwhelmed looking at the manual,” Curry said. After what he could only describe as “a pretty serious effort,” Curry finally succeeded at his unexpected assembly job. It only took him five hours.

“I was very confident in myself going in,” he said. “That was shot down pretty quick.”

Perhaps gaining a more intimate knowledge of all the mechanisms of a basketball hoop will make him even that much more deadly as a shooter. But even though he hasn’t been able to shoot recently, he’s had plenty to keep himself occupied during the self-quarantine.

Earlier this week, Curry interviewed Dr. Anthony Fauci of the Institute for Infections Diseases in an effort to educate fans about the dangers of COVID-19 and the best ways to protect yourself and others. He and his wife Ayesha have donated to local efforts to ensure school children have meals, and he along with the Warriors organization have pledged $1 million to the arena workers who have been put out of work.

Before the shutdown, Curry had just recently made his return after missing a big chunk of the season with a broken hand. The new hoop in the driveway should help him get his touch back for if and when the NBA season returns.

(The Wall Street Journal)

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Baby Yoda cookies > cookies shaped like literally any other thing on Earth.

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They started off so well!

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While UFC president Dana White scrambles to make UFC 249 a reality — apparently now without Khabib Nurmagomedov — current bantamweight champion Henry Cejudo is already making backup plans should his scheduled title defense run into similar issues.

Nurmagomedov is currently stuck in Russia, and with borders closing due to the ongoing COVID-19 outbreak, White is being forced to find an alternative for the lightweight championship tilt featuring Tony Ferguson. Cejudo is slated to square off against the legendary Jose Aldo, despite consecutive losses, in a title bout in Sao Paulo, Brazil, on May 9, and that fight could soon be in trouble as well.

Looking for a potential backup in case things do fall through, Cejudo called out Dominick Cruz in an Instagram post, who for those scoring at home, hasn’t fought since losing his belt to Cody Garbrandt in December 2016.

Since #UFC249 is in jeopardy because we can’t get Khabib out of Russia. So Just in case we can’t get Jose Baldo into America soil, make sure to bring your untailored tuxedo that you wear every Saturday long with yours balls! Because you’re on deck sweetheart. Someone has to bend the knee to Triple C on May 9th!

It’s another reputation fight for Cejudo, who is yet again overlooking the top three contenders in the division: Marlon Moraes (who lost to Cejudo last June), Aljamain Sterling and Petr Yan.

Netflix has shared the first trailer to their upcoming documentary, LA Originals, which follows Chicano artists Mister Cartoon and Estevan Oriol’s journey to success on the outskirts of hip-hop. Set to arrive next week, the documentary has been promoted as “an exploration of the culture and landmarks of the Chicano and street art movement that cemented Mister Cartoon and Estevan Oriol’s status as behind-the-scenes hip-hop legends.”

The ad emphasizes the Cartoon and Oriol’s hip-hop presence, as well as such guests as Snoop Dogg, Eminem, 50 Cent, Dr. Dre, Pharrell, Cypress Hill, and Blink-182. Geroge Lopez, actress Michelle Rodriguez, actor Wilmer Valderrama, and the legendary Danny Trejo can also be seen.

According to HipopDX, Mister Cartoon is responsible for the logos of both Cypress Hill and Shady Records, but it’s his work as a tattoo artist for which he is most famous, having inked the likes of Kobe Bryant, 50 Cent, and Method Man. He has also appeared in the music video for Xzibit’s “Criminal Set” and Eminem’s “Stan.” Estevan Oriol, the documentary’s director, is himself a legendary photographer, best known for his work within the Chicano and gang cultures, as well as capturing Eminem, Cypress Hill, and Kendrick Lamar.

LA Originals is out 04/10 via Netflix. You can watch the trailer above.

While jokes are generally appreciated in these dark times, April Fools’ Day was essentially cancelled this year. Turns out no one quarantining and relentlessly watching the news and trying not to freak out 24/7 was particularly in the mood for some Ashton Kutcher business. A couple people braved it. Lil Nas X had a decent prank. And then there was the one from one of our darkest comedic minds: Danny McBride.

The former Kenny Powers — as well as co-writer of 2018’s smash Halloween reboot/sequel — took to Instagram Wednesday with a short video. Looking not terribly enthused (because who is these days!), he went onto relate a story worthy of his Eastbound & Down monster.

“I played a pretty impressive April Fools’ Day prank on my children this morning,” McBride confessed to his over half a million followers. “I woke ’em up early, I said it was time to go to school, I got ’em dressed, I drove ’em to their school, which was empty. And then I turned to their faces and said, ‘Psych, the coronavirus is still going on, and you’re never going to see your friends in person ever again. April Fools.’” At this point McBride chuckles, then adds, “I wasn’t expecting them to cry. But I think that’s when I realized I had given them the perfect April Fools’.”

So there you go. If you felt compelled to add in any way to this prank-filled holiday, let’s hope you were as funny as the guy who once went toe-to-toe with James Franco.